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I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …
Thoughts on Password Protection for Portfolios? — I wanted to share my solution based on feedback from hiring managers being frustrated with portfolios that are password protected (especially when you can’t find the password on your resume). Ideall…
A message to earnestly curious skeptics and non-experiencers: How to engage experiencers within this community and learn about the topic. — We are seeing an increase of activity from people outside of experiencer circles in threads as time has moved on and more and more people are starting to understand there really is a "there there" and…
Unsent letter to a prior ex, in the midst of a current breakup. — I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known about the anxious-avoidant trap for some time…
A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…
Feeling “off” after trust rupture — attachment system or intuition? — I have been dating my current partner for about a year now. Long post incoming. I’m posting because I’m noticing a significant avoidant shift in myself and I need perspective specifically on my own at…
As a child I was always the one protecting others but no one protected me in a severely abusive household and I was the youngest, how does my chart reflect that?
I hate narcissists! — I tried so hard to forgive. I even made a comment here months ago about forgiveness. I was trying to delude myself. Narcissists deserve to rot and burn in the lowest depths of hell there is. How can y…
My parents raised me to just serve people — I'm 22(F) and have moved away from my parents place but might have to go back because it has become too expensive to live alone and my parents bought a bigger house so it would all work out for me if …
UPDATE: How do I (28M) tell my girlfriend (28F) a prenup and keeping my inherited house separate are non-negotiable? — TL;DR: I had the conversation. She brought up moving in first. She completely agrees the house and inheritance should stay separate, supports a prenup, was impressed I’d thought it through, and confus…
Insane lucid dreams / astral projection experiences ✨🪐 — Hi all! I honestly just want to talk about how crazy lucid dreams are because when I say I go to different worlds and then wake up here most people just don’t understand and I feel like you all will. …
When I Let the Devil Back In — I feel like I can't speak this to anyone in my life so I will try here. What people don’t understand is that this didn’t just happen in some clean, simple way where I got hurt and then walked away. I …
My brother (28M) is getting married to his gf (18F) and I am TA for disapproving... — The reason I have a problem with it, aside from just the age difference, is that they started dating two years ago. I found out he was dating her when he was ARRESTED over his inappropriate behavior…
I miss my ex so much it’s killing me — I don’t understand how someone can be so good when they’re good, but so damn cruel when they’re not. She was my first love. Before her, I don’t think I had ever really felt it. She showed me what it …
I hate children so much(tw child abuse — I know I can’t say out loud irl and I know it’s unacceptable in society That hating children is a malice of society It’s just feeling it doesn’t lead to any action I named that hatred, discussed fo…
I’m intensely triggered by my partner’s younger sister and I hate what it brings out in me — I need to say something ugly and I’m hoping someone here will understand rather than just tell me to “work on my self-esteem.” My boyfriend has younger sisters, and one of them especially triggers so…
Mind is a time machine — Here’s my reasoning. Please don’t think I am crazy. While I was grieving a lost one, I started to have an obsession with the past. I was dreaming, daydreaming, overall imagining myself as my old sel…
This Is Hell — I have a lot of love for my husband. But at this point there’s more resentment than love. Married 8 years. Dated for 9 years before that. In the beginning he was very insistent about getting tested fo…
LDR struggles — I've been dating a 40-y/o guy exclusively for more than a year. We see each other every 2-4weeks & I really like him. We did our STD/HIV test April last year so we can have unprotected s\\\*x. We both…
My mother set me up and got policemen and EMR to aggressively restrain me and put me in the ambulance when I least expected — I am mortified. The whole scene was scandalous, never had I ever felt so humiliated. It happened last Friday when I was just about to take a shower before I continued packing my belongings to move o…
Would my assets be protected if I put them in a trust AFTER my wife filed for divorce ??? — I’m just curious.
what happens when you return to the same point you were healing from — 27F here and I thought i was honestly healing by going to therapy, setting boundaries, cutting off a long distance relationship with a narcissist that made me feel like i had to continuously audition …
A whirlwind — Last year, I watched my “wife” have a psychotic episode resulting in her hitting herself multiple times in the face. I had the strong desire to video record her, but didn’t because my mom had mental h…
I feel like I'll never be able to live normally after being cheated on. — I need some support. I(21F)'ve been with my boyfriend(26M)for a year and a half and we planned future together. More than two months ago I had the opportunity to go through his phone after big fight.…
Long-term self-hatred after sex, feeling weird to have it under my own terms finally — Sorry for having to repost a few times with edits, somehow couldn’t edit the post on my phone TLDR for context, 27F, very little serious relationship experience, disorganised attachment style, a his…
"Mom wants to visit you with baked goods, do you mind?" — This morning I woke up and first thing I've seen was a message from my grandma. She sent me a fb link, I thought it would be some Happy Easter card, that's what elders do. But it was some sugary sweet…
How do I (21F) tell my partner (21M) that I'm feeling slightly unfulfilled/unprotected in our relationship? — (Throwaway acct). The title sounds incredibly harsh, but I didn't know how else to say it. My fiancé and I have been dating for 6 years and I love him more than genuinely anything. We started dating o…
Postponing Divorce to "prepare" advice. — Has anyone ever halted divorce proceedings and come up with an agreement to work together on untangling your lives in preparation for divorce? What advice do you have? Backstory for context: My wife…
Potentially might lose this girl because of false positive HSV2 — Me 26M & her 21F So back in 2023 I was low positive for HSV2 with an index of 1.48 from quest. I had a partner at the time that I got tested before doing anything with her. I got the results back & c…
Have you ever been close to someone who also had CPTSD and it made both of you worse? — I didn’t know anything about CPTSD until last year. My first relationship was with someone who had BPD, but now I think she had comorbid BPD with CPTSD. It lasted 5 years and it was super toxic by the…
I (24M) love my girlfriend (24F), but our sex life is almost nonexistent—what do I do? — I (24M) am contemplating breaking up with my partner (24F) and I really do not want to let her go. We have been dating for three (3) years and she is like my other half. She is very beautiful, kind, s…
You’re thinking “if only they would do/say X” — Year 1 / wife / 20 years / 2 teens / coworker / 4 months Thus far, I’ve encountered so many people in various support groups who really wish their betraying partner would say/do X… show empathy, own…
16f- trapped in an “RV” of trauma and chronic pain.need advice on surving systematic failure. — **Body:** I’m 16, and I feel like I’m living in a "survival thriller" novel, but nobody believes the protagonist. I have **hEDS**, **POTS**, **Autism**, and **ADHD**. Right now, I’m in 10/10 physical…
Intense trauma externalisation integration experiences? Gestalt chairs — I have started with gestalt so it is still my preferred trauma coping tool subset, it's pretty aligned with how I feel and with ig how I work in general. I have been going to psychodrama workshops und…
My soon to be ex says I owe 50% of her tax liability — We lived in California for state reference: My soon to be ex wife and I had a rough 2025. She said she was having issues with our marriage in January but we sat down and I thought we sorted things out…
I feel so fucking alone. Why did she do this to me. Content warning for discussions of parental abuse. — I'm an adult now. I am in no current danger. I'm scared writing this. I'm scared she's going to jump out despite three years of NC and have way to prove it was all in my head, that I'm a liar, that …
Giving myself Grace after all these years feel foreign & I'm not sure if I truly deserve it — I blamed Every fucked up things that happened to Me on Me cuz I have No One who protected me as kid/teenagers as I should Rape when I was 8 Dealt living in multiple motels while mom had sexual enc…
What do I do after getting cheated on? — Me and my boyfriend have been together 7 years and I just found out he was living a double life the whole time during our relationship. When we first started dating it was agreed we were in a closed …
How much of pre-marriage home value is protected in equalization? — My wife and I recently separated in Mississauga after 11 years of marriage. I bought our family home two years before we got married using my own funds, and it is still registered only in my name. Dur…
I spent the last few weeks building a 24/7 "Mystic Portal" for the community. I’d love your honest feedback on the energy. — * Hi everyone, I felt a calling to create a safe space for high-frequency guidance and healing sounds. It's a 24/7 live stream designed to help people manifest and stay protected. I'm not looking for …
Should i just leave everything behind? — started my life living with my grandma. As long as I can remember, I was with her. She was the one who raised me, took care of me, and gave me the only real love and safety I had. With her, I felt li…
Handing Over Money Before Agreement? — Odd situation here. After deciding to get divorced after one year of marriage, I had my lawyer send an offer she shouldn't want to contest: three years rent free in a house I own, and the one she has …
My (27F) boyfriend (21M) and I have a 6 year age gap and I’m having a hard time — When I was 17 I dated a 28 year old for 2 years, no one at that time protected me and I didn’t know better. After getting out of that relationship I realized how fucked up that was and have since been…
i think i was groomed, hes now working where i get therapy, im overwhelmed — a few months ago i was homeless due to fleeing dv and moved into a mental health group home. there was a team lead who acted weird: \- invited me to have frequent private conversations with him when …
Severely neglected husband feels guilty having a relationship with his wife and not with his family — It has taken a long time to fully understand this. My husband was severely emotionally neglected as a young child and started therapy but not totally consistent or long term yet. He is underdeveloped …
how do you actually move on from someone when the hardest part isn't missing them, it's accepting that they were never going to choose you in the first place? — i feel like i already know the answer but i genuinely need to get this out of my own head im 27f and this is about my ex. we were together for years, broke up last january, took like a 6 month break,…
In R and having sad thoughts about the future just getting off my chest❤️🩹 — Short brief of my story: My boyfriend (25M) had a one-night stand with a new coworker (she was 22F), (im 26F) he was training her as he was her team lead. It was unprotected. He confessed to me on hi…
Am I overthinking this, or were my in-laws always expecting my marriage to fail? — I’ve been reflecting on my marriage and a lot of things aren’t sitting right with me. I don’t know if I’m connecting dots in hindsight or if this really is a pattern, I’d really appreciate outside per…
My parents love me and I feel bad every time I think about emotional neglect. — I was emotionally neglected as a minor, I felt unseen, ignored etc. while I have all the characteristics of emotional neglect, and I have been told the same by many professionals, I can’t help but fee…
My parents love me and I feel bad every time I think about emotional neglect. — I was emotionally neglected as a minor, I felt unseen, ignored etc. while I have all the characteristics of emotional neglect, and I have been told the same by many professionals, I can’t help but fee…
The first question is, why does the drugs trigger you? What are you imagining or feeling when they talk about it. Logically, it's just part of their past. If it was something that could happen again o…
😂 I am suffering from nothing at this point, other than my frustration with how psychiatry has inappropriately overstepped its ethical boundaries, and thus my children continue to be abused in public…
Wow, you have done a significant amount of research. I am just now learning about these Avoidant Attachment Styles. I'm not real sure what my SO has, and I'm also not sure which attachment style I hav…
Well, 1) I find it unusual that on an attachment theory sub we are discussing stuff that seems like it’s more appropriate for an an-cap vs an-com debate (anarchocapitalist, anarchocommunist). 2) any…
It sounds like you communicated your needs pretty well, that takes bravery. It’s not on you to make excuses for or try figure out her mood, it’s on her to communicate her emotions and needs. E.g. “I …
Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known abou…
Thanks for sharing, OP. I see some of myself in what you wrote for sure. I second the recommendation to handwrite it and rip it into pieces and burn it, but I would add read it aloud to yourself befor…
In an anxious avoidant cycle with my fiance, we've been dating for 7 years. Some times we are better at navigating the ebbs and flows and sometimes all hell breaks loose . In general I've stepped int…
Yes, this was conscious. Early on I responded defensively, and I saw that resulted in escalation. I started seeing these as fights I "can't win" and deliberately did not engage so it would pass over i…
Yeah, my older brother was autistic with many extra issues and was incredibly aggressive towards me. I was a smaller girl and could not defend myself but nobody cared. He was the center of the world, …
Just seen that someone who recently suggested we progress to unprotected sex, having both taken recent tests and her on contraceptives, has updated their pictures on the dating app. Gonna have to awkw…
Given that it takes 2 weeks to 3 months for STI results to be accurate this isn’t exactly reassuring. It’s important to test frequently if you’re having unprotected sex. This person may well be usin…
I think I'll suggest that unprotected sex is something I'd do only in a committed relationship, just phrased in a way that doesn't sound like an ultimatum!
“Something's wrong with me because I can't feel", but what if nothing's wrong? What if the numbness is exactly what helped you survive? You're not cold. You're protected. And when you're ready, feeli…
You explicitly told him "You can't say the wrong thing," then he lowers his guard. The moment he did and honestly admitted he was afraid you immediately judged him (the coward's route) and are now moc…
Hi All! I need some advice. My post has not gained any traction anywhere else. I am here to understand what is happening because I feel clouded a little bit in my relationship. We are opposite attachm…
So basically you've learned that maintaining relationships means losing yourself, and you've realized that's too high a price to pay. And you're right, it is! You deserve to be protected and to feel s…
# I, 37F, am struggling with boundaries, jealousy, and my 48M partner’s friendship I’m wrestling with complicated feelings about a medicine retreat my partner of 6 months wants me to attend this summ…
Okay you said perfect world so I am going to completely indulge my imagination here. Intense, hyper regulated, deeply protected privacy. Like to the point that your username is blocked or randomized…
It's alright, sometimes we all need a bit of humour to carry us through the scary parts:) Grateful to be safe and protected despite uncertainty as it's unusual and very new, which is a privilege on…
Narcissists have a mental health issue, enablers allow their victims to remain unprotected, especially as children. That is what can make all of the fucked up shit really dig in and wire itself into …
How has your husband stood up and protected you during these incidents?
I’m in a similar boat, had 1 outbreak when I was in my 20s and never one since. I have HSV 1, but the outbreak was genital. I took antivirals before giving birth, but honestly haven’t otherwise sinc…
Because I know I had unprotected sex with a few people before our relationship started. It just seems more likely that it was me that had it first
Chlamydia is pretty prevalent in your age category, and +-90% of the cases go by unnoticed. It's easy to catch and miss if you ever had unprotected sex and it can linger on for years not giving sympto…
I have been a "pretty" male my whole life and it was one of the reasons I got SA as a child and teen and my brother (who has always been obese) didn't. Also as a young adult, I had very disgusting enc…
Don’t let these people tell you it’s gross. It could have come from either of you. He even said he had slept with some people after his last test. It just takes 1 time to contract chlamydia and it oft…
If he had unprotected sex with you then you don't know who had the STD first. You're both old enough to know this, you're both old enough to know why safe sex is important. You're feeling ashamed an…
Did you have unprotected sex with a guy you know for 3 months? 🤨
But he’s having unprotected sex with her without getting himself tested or seeing her results so it would be hypocritical, would it not, for him to think less of her when he’s done the same thing?
the fact that people are so comfortable having unprotected sex with strangers is concerning and disgusting.
He said he doesn’t care and it’s treatable. I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. You were honest and gave him a chance to make a decision. He said he’s ok and wants to stay wit you. …
It is much better that your bf found out from you before having to be told from a doctor. Give yourself time. The embarrassment will fade. You took the initiative to be tested and told your bf how it …
Didn't the two of you have unprotected sex? You and the current boyfriend? How did he catch it if he used protection? Were you the first sexual partner of his life?
Don't be ashamed. It happened, there's nothing you can do. Sounds like he took it well. Finish your course of antibiotics. For future reference, having unprotected sex with someone you met online a …
This is not just your issue, he is to blame also. You both are having unprotected sex with people without getting tested for any STDs. You should not have unprotected sex with a partner/boyfriend with…
Completely agree. Yes, she fucked up, she realised it, got tested and owned up to it, end of. Luckily, it was something easily treatable. I hope her partner got tested too if he's been having casua…
Most people who have herpes eventually stop having symptoms. There are plenty of couples where one of them has it and the other never gets it despite unprotected sex. There is a possibility you could …
Why are you having unprotected sex with multiple people?
Had unprotected sex with 3 or 7 dudes in a short amount of time and caught something is surprised 🤡
How's it not her fault for willingly having unprotected sex with randoms?
A bunch of people in here saying it's not her fault, some trying to say he have it to her, like she didn't choose to have unprotected sex with a bunch of randos.
If I understand correctly, both of you were having unprotected sex with each other without either of you having gotten tested for STDs before you ditched condoms. You were doing that also in past rel…
So wait, you got tested *after* you had unprotected sex with him? How do you know he didn’t give the STD to you? If he tests positive as well you have no way to know which one of you had it first. A l…
It’s not an unreasonable concept. I think it is close to what’s described in Urantia in the Reserve Corps of Destiny chapter. Their job is to preserve civilization in the event of planetary emergencie…
This is also something ive been going through, 6 years with somebody I grew up with for almost 20 years. Close family and friends, unfortunately the respect ive given to her was not enough for a recip…
Use condoms! Why are you having unprotected sex with someone you've known a few months?
Yup, my best friend told me she’s been with 6 people and never been tested. I told her off and said how irresponsible it is and unsafe she was being (unprotected sex at times too) I also told her it’s…
So here's what I'm seeing, and I want to be straight with you - this isn't about technique. You've done technique. Twelve years, Monroe tapes, meditation, occult work, you can even read auras. That's …
It he chose to have unprotected sex with you and neither of you brought up getting tested before having unprotected sex then him being mad would be rude AF. Both of you were careless and him not bring…