mature

Similarily to you, I only realized in what kind of situation I was brought up in by the end of my 20s. My father was emotionally distant/avoidant (suffered a difficult childhood himself, my grandma ap…

Considering a move from big tech to a small company. Worth the risk? — I know this sub leans junior, but hoping to get some advice from senior folks. Especially people in Bay Area, NYC, or Seattle-type tech scenes. Tagging this as Job Search and not Senior Only because I…

SOC maturity tool for small teams — assess detection, IR, and automation readiness — We struggled to get a clear read on how mature our SOC really was — especially with a lean team and cloud-first stack. So we put together a free tool to assess: * Logging & telemetry coverage * Aler…

Anyone Else Feel Relationships just Aren't for them? — Hello all, I'm basically pretty severely A.P. , & so far I've been unable to get close to anyone (romantically) in my life without just exploding with terror that I'll be abandoned (or feeling a stro…

What would one call this attachment style? — I feel as tho I'm a pretty particular mix, cause I'm not exactly healthy, but the other labels don't exactly resonate either. I suppose it roots from two main things. One, I was bullied and ostracized…

🕊️ Community Reminder: Respectful Dialogue & Open Exchange — Hey everyone, We just want to take a moment to thank all of you for helping make r/AstralProjection one of the most interesting and supportive spaces on Reddit. Every day, people from around the worl…

The monster jar theory of FA or avoidant attachment. — So I was talking to a friend of mine and supporting her and my own feelings of shame and I was reiterating somethjng that isn’t anything new at all but hit on an analogy that really worked for both of…

Trading book recommendation! For those trying to fix attachment issues. — “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” -by Lindsay C. Gibson, PHD This book helped me realize that, at my core, I struggle with dating and attachment because it’s hard for me to comprehend …

Trying to navigate a "casual" relationship — Hi everyone, I (30F, trans) have been talking to/seeing a woman (24F, cis) for about 5 months. The chemistry is legitimately the strongest I’ve ever experienced - emotional, intellectual, creative, s…

Women keep telling me I need to date younger and now my daughter has too. — I (39m) look young for my age and have been dating for the last 4 years. I have mostly dated women in their 30s and about half of them have told me to date someone younger after things didn’t work bet…

my(F28) bf(M30) thinks themed bridal shower of my friend is stupid and my costume is stupid. — I (F28) am a teacher and my boyfriend(M30) works for a company. we have been together for 4 years and are highly compatible. He has always been reserved and quiet and introvert by nature. i'm more of …

Will I ever not feel so lonely? (Seeking input from older folks on this platform) — I am nearly 47 years old and the emotional neglect I suffered as a kid and still suffer at the hands of my parents, still has such a profound impact on me. I know there are people of all ages in this …

What is even going on? — I (45f) have been single and dating for a a little over a year now, and there have been some frustrating patterns emerge that I just can’t make sense of. So I’m curious if anyone else out there has. A…

It’s my birthday. I’ve made it to 55. — Despite having two narcissistic, extremely emotionally immature, miserably inadequate so-called parents who made my life a living hell , I have SURVIVED. 💜❤️💜

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

Wondering if anyone has taught a child the basics of grounding, meditation, shadow work, and/or energy work? — A little information, my children are younger, but not too young to understand, and we are expecting again. My wife is very skilled with energy even out of practice, and I am getting back in tune with…

I’m very good at staying composed. I’m less good at noticing what that composure costs me. — I’ve realized something recently. I’m very good at staying composed in certain conversations. I stay steady. I smooth things over. I choose my words carefully. I keep things readable. From the outsid…

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do? — TL;DR my girlfriend has reached a breaking point and told me she’ll consider being together but as of now we aren’t. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and met our senior year…

How to permanently stop feeling romantic love for anyone? — wasn’t sure I needed a TL;DR here, but I’ll put it anyway: how do I turn off my ability to feel love for anyone, ever? hi all, I (M,33) have not had a whole lot of luck with dating. I try to stay s…

Do romantic relationships ever work with enmeshed parenting? — When my ex and I broke up I told him that his mom was going to make his marriage miserable. She disapproved of/disrespected me and we could see it wasn't going to work out. I don't hate him, but I'm o…

Children know when they parents don't love them. Children know when their parents resent and hate them. — It's surprising the amount of parents who not only think that their abuse is justified, but that believe that their children "are too young, so they won't notice" or "they'll forget about it". I heard…

Personal journey with psychedelics — Hi peeps :) So, I wouldn’t say I’m a seasoned veteran in traversing the inner workings of my mind, but I’m no armature either, I’ve personally done shrooms around 30-40 times, each time around 2.5-3 g…

Increased self-loathing — So far what I've read about codependency makes me loathe myself even more. Whereas before I felt frustrated by my partner's chaos and how I was always getting dragged into it, now I feel like all the …

please, take your time to hear my story, because no one else ever did — My mom gave birth to me when she was 41 years old, I have a sister and a brother, my sister is 27 years old, but she has mental problems and behaves terribly immature, so she is always making screamin…

My therapist said… — My therapist thinks that Jelly cats keep me in a child like state and make me immature. I am an adult and they bring me so much joy and happiness so I don’t understand.

NHI that Stop Time and Timelessness of the Oversoul; More Research that Supports how Aliens Obscure Human Memories. — Hi everyone. This is [me](https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/comments/1ai4nzi/i_had_26_physical_contact_events_with_grey_aliens/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_c…

Hi — All I can say is I’m sorry. I regret how I handled. Back then I wasn’t ready to give it another chance. I disappeared and distracted myself instead of facing it. I didn’t think at all that we could be…

My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …

Finally Got a Lucid Dream... So I Tested your Queries in it — Hey guys, this is gonna be a bit of a long one lol. \[CONTEXT\] For a while, I've been trying to lucid dream, but was too lazy to consistently do training, write in journals, or set multiple alarms …

Sunken Cost Fallacy — Married for almost 27 years. Got married at the ripe age of 19. Funny thing, I thought it was a mistake on my wedding night when he got out of bed to jack off because I was so exhausted from the long …

I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…

Overarching Energy of the New Moon in Pisces on March 18th, 2026 — Even if you are not an artist, philosopher or feel things deeply, the New Moon in Pisces could give you an open, dreamy quality, where you want to dig into more abstract subjects. You may be thinkin…

For the adult children with emotionally immature parents.. now what? — Okay, we've established our parents are emotionally immature and neglectful. They don't care to know us as adults but they expect us to care about them. Now what? Is this just how it is now? …

Potentially unpopular opinion re: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — Just finished “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay Gibson after seeing several recommendations for it on subreddits like these. I thought the book had some good info, and I’ll a…

How do people become emotionally immature? — I was raised by and surrounded by emotionally immature adults my whole life, while living in a toxic and abusive household created mainly by my father’s abuse towards my mother, and her compliance and…

Want a bf but scared and I feel unattractive — I want a boyfriend but I believe I’m unattractive because I was bullied a lot in my childhood. I had some horrible interactions with men when I was young. These things are preventing me from going out…

Hot take on Daniel Love — (quoting will NOT be accurate, only rough from my memory). I am not structuring this as a super hateful post, not SUPER hateful, and I wouldnt try to say hateful, so bare with me here. I dont like Da…

I Changed Myself and Got it All — Hello, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a very long time. Grab a snack and come along for the ride! **The Beginning: April - October 2022** I discovered Neville 4 years ago; after a year of …

I just wanna be better — Hey reddit, I need some advise/guiding. I'm 18 turning 19, I'm with this beautiful who treats me so good, and that's pretty much all I got to myself, l had this courier job that paid me really fucking…

I think my friendship with my best friend might be ending after her wedding and I don’t know how to handle it — I (29F) recently attended my best friend’s (29F) 10-day wedding, and what should’ve been a happy time has turned into something really confusing and honestly hurtful. We’ve been close for years (aro…

Are there any pro-escapism AP communities out there? — I've noticed that when the topic of voluntarily leaving this physical life, or remaining in the astral permanently is brought up on this sub, there are inevitably at least a few comments who seem to t…

Are my "corrective emotional experiences" all fake? I've developed a deep attachment to my therapist, but I feel so lost. — I'd love to hear your thoughts or see if anyone has had similar experiences. As my therapy goes deeper, I find myself becoming more and more attached to my therapist. I feel like the baby monkey cling…

Anyone analysed the spectral frequency of the gateway tapes? — https://preview.redd.it/ci1qzsip6zqg1.png?width=796&format=png&auto=webp&s=ecdbab108f8a3b5830c2fdf54c48129b329e5d2d I was making a loop of just the "silent" sections of the meditation tapes, so I cou…

What's a statement from your parents that sounded good back then but has aged like milk once you realized your emotional neglect? — As in something your parents often said about you that at first sounded good but you look at differently now that you are aware of the emotional neglect you experienced. I have one. And it's pretty h…

I finally stopped begging my toxic Mom. Her "Extinction Burst" over my sister's wedding is insane. Has anyone else experienced this? — Hi everyone. I (M) and my two sisters have spent our entire lives tiptoeing around our emotionally immature, highly controlling mother. She uses guilt, silent treatments, and the "I'm a terrible mothe…

Anyone know of a subreddit that deals with this issue? — Does anyone know where I can find out more about emotional immaturity from my parents on the opposite end of the spectrum? I thought I would benefit from the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immatur…

Update: Tried to set boundaries, now they want to be paid 25k — It's been a few months since my \[last post here\] (https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/s/lXVFmvyxxM), but its mostly come to a resolution. I wanted to do an update because I got some really …

How do you hold space for, not necessarily judgment, but rather accountability and ultimately grace and growth for the dark side of codependency and insecure attachment styles — A recent poster who shared a story about his coworker got me really thinking about one of the standard FA rituals, and probably the cruelest FA rituals. We can be such experts on lulling people into…

My boyfriend (39M) threw his bag at my (33F) face, refused to apologize "because he thought I would block it", then stormed out to leave after I said I just wanted to be alone — Pretty much what the title says. We live separately but visit each other every weekend alternating (about 1.5 hours apart). We've been together 2.5 years. His bag was on the couch with all his clothe…

DEA not have a roll model growing up and it's made you the way you are? — \*\*\*Yes I know I put DEA not DAE but I cant change it\*\*\* I was very loved by my parents, but they weren't role models. I didn't have any siblings and wasn't close to extended family. I don't r…

Same. I hung in there , at first thinking no matter what she does. Im more wise , I see her flaws, i will help her change. Me the man she “use” to say i was. She=“never give up on me”. Me-“never”. 4 w…

“Would you be ok if we slow our cadence down a bit? I like to have some time between our dates and texting interactions, so I can settle into my feelings and intentions.” Or something like that… If t…

I'm so sorry, this sounds so hard. If you can, I think it would be amazing to focus on yourself right now and what you need. My long distance boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after one disagreement…

It's very, very painful. I'm so sorry. I went through something similar 2 yrs ago. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, felt incredible low self-esteem and rejected. I never pegged him to ghost me, and we ha…

He’s going to leave you. I’m sorry. I can guarantee this. He’s extremely immature, and you are trying to be his mother and his therapist. It will backfire on you spectacularly. He needs professional h…

As a previous DA, I did not feel guilt once I disengaged from someone because I had reasons for not wanting to be with them anymore. Those reasons may be very immature they may not make a lot of sense…

Oh honey, please step away for a bit. This is not good for you. He ignores you, shows you affection, ignores you. I think this could go beyond attachment theory, we may be dealing with psychological a…

Yep, Redshift observability is one of those things that should be easier, but ends up buried in system tables and tribal knowledge. Some practical tips that might help: 1. Build a lightweight monito…

As an outsider it’s really not clear who or what is going wrong here… have priorities been made clear? have deadlines been agreed upon and then violated without explanation? are they a mature member o…

Hey, thanks for sharing your story and I am sorry to hear what happened to you, it sounds pretty hurtful. Yes totally agree, as anxious we tend to overlook or blame ourselves for our date or partner s…

Hey. Interesting write up, it has some good references and shows some good understanding on modern software security. Though there are some parts I would critique for feedback: >Another layer that …

I’m not a DA but I do need space. Fortunately, my friends have always understood that, and I haven’t had to communicate it. I feel like they are kind of the same and everything just feels super natura…

Personally I don’t date people who can't communicate their needs. I also think it's immature for people to assume their partner will read their mind and know what they need.

Everyone, including the anxious people, put their best foot forward at the beginning. Anxious people expect it to always stay the same as it is in the honeymoon and that’s unrealistic for both sides.…

I think it’s really only just anxiously attached people who do that. And it’s very annoying. If I have a problem with a person i will let them know. Silence is not a bad thing. Silence is neutral. I…

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

This was very useful. Thank you very much. >Women test men to gauge their reactions, to see if the man can control his emotions, and if the man is safe and emotionally mature. They can also do it to …

I understand why you'd ask. In my case, I wasn't abandoning my boundaries as much as strategically relaxing them for the purpose of understanding the situation and her. I recognized early on that her …

I'm not suggesting that sub is 100% bad (nothing is all bad or all good). But it's absolutely an echo-chamber that frequently becomes toxic and dehumanizing, conflates every negative behavioral trait …

Maybe? :) We love each other like crazy. We just have ZERO drama, because we are both mature and look after our own sh!t. The other day he snapped at me, when we were trying to check our new (big)…

1) your ex needs to solve this problem themselves and cope instead of involving you. It is extremely immature of them to solve this problem by reconnecting, it is incredibly inconsiderate of your time…

Dude do you think this subreddit is your personal relationship diary? This is the kind of immature nonsense that turns attachment theory into a joke.

The thing is the more I have aged and worked on myself getting higher self esteem and confidence, the more I have self reflected and become more aware of myself, the more I have slowly recognised the …

Im an FA but with friends mostly DA. I think that she reached out when you were sick was a good sign and offered momentum that you didn’t recognise, you talked 10 days ago or so, maybe it feels like a…

She sounds very immature and as they say you are the median of the people you surround yourself with I'd say upgrade to some more reliable people. You handled this very maturely. Calling someone heads…

Wait so am I reading this correctly or did she leave your text on read and not talk to you after you “called her out on text”? I think texting her instead of reprimanding her in front of everyone was …

I think dating is for you and self sabotage is common. I think a key, a lot of the time is, is to go into most situations with no attachment to outcome. Find people you like, date and just see how …

Your story might be my story if he didn’t break up with me (of course, with having a mature conversation). It lasted a month, and we were thrilled until we first met and it became real and fantastic –…

Hi OP. You sound like you're being really mature about this. Feel your feelings. It's okay to feel sad, disappointed, betrayed, and scared. Explore those feelings and journal about why you're feeling …

It’s never easy when it’s that early especially with other major life events like moving. That being said, sometimes the language we use about our exes can get in the way of our healing. I used to say…

I actually feel that I'm only slightly anxious leaning and relatively secure but I got triggered more when he was avoidant and I think a secure person would have a very hard time staying secure. I thi…

this is so great to read! the idea of taking space when AP is so totally foreign and feels wrong, until you genuinely do it for yourself and realise who has been neglected, you. i tend to take small c…

Healing without going no contact is really hard. I think you might benefit from reading "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" (I think you can find it on YT for free). Specifically, "Detach…

I‘m going to make this short: You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right, his behavior is objectively not okay and it’s neither your fault nor your responsibility. I don’t think that any…

I think you are resentful because you didn’t express yourself when it was time to. Generally the resentment is put on the other person, but the core issue is suppressing yourself and becoming sick of…

First, controversial opinion: there's nothing wrong with wanting consistent texting. It's ok to ask for that and consider how much you really want that, or to see if you can find a compromise with you…

Looking for some advice because I am struggling a lot at the minute. I (31F) have been with my (35M) partner for 2,5 years. We have a good relationship and it is the first mature relationship I have b…

Stop trying to find excuses for this immature behaviour. Instead ask yourself why you’re willing to put up with this abuse. Because the silent treatment is exactly that.

As much as I try to be understanding of other’s lives, feelings, backgrounds, etc- I wholeheartedly agree with you. Stonewalling is immature, manipulative, and abusive.

Yes, it is indeed 😅 I wouldn’t call it polite to breadcrumb someone when you’re not interested, the polite thing would be to actually say something. My guess is that he’s immature or avoidant, and ju…

Aww sending hugs. Feels familiar. Felt so in my late twenties. Cried so hard. With time and looking back, and lots of unrelated therapy, I realized two things : everything happens for you ; and life i…

This. This is an immature relationship given how young the OP and the SP are. They will likely break up when she realizes he is a loser and they will never get married. She’s better off getting over…

What makes me feel better is having healthy calm communication skills. If you approach them with that (chat gpt can help but you need to change the wording to sound like something you would say), and …

There are a lot of people who don't understand trauma and vulnerability.  Then there are people who have some understanding but do not understand how to interact in an appropriate way that is empathet…

Apparently many people with personality disorders (BPD/NPD/HPD\APD) date in order to secure a “new mom/parent” in order to develop their stunted self and then individuate from said replacement. Not…

I'm on chat-contact with a lady across the Atlantic . I feel fairly emotionally safe with her, but the distance makes the relationship borderline unrealistic. I'm divorced with a son whim I love more …

I love the realization. Some narcissistic people only blame others completely to protect themselves while a smaller minority are able to realize both side's faults. You are very mature and im glad you…

Anxious attachment does indeed show up at work The issue is to look at scenes from your childhood where these issues originate from The sense of being abandoned . Anxious attachment is indeed cyc…

Thank you. I mentioned to other reply, yeah I have some childhood abandonment hitting me too. Never realized til REALLY recently. IDK I do NOT feel mature & controlled, at all. I mean I know I am tr…

I feel really immature for writing this: I try to figure out how to deal with mixed feelings of longing/jealousy, which creeps up on me sometimes. I feel jealous of my friends who are happily engaged…