book
In my head
Evidence
Citations (101)
Lol, I could totally see me being on your side on that when I'm "In my head" about my relationship. And with that, in the moment I'd probably act like you, or definitely try my best not to 😅 (I think…
Does attachment style start to shift after cutting out toxic family members? — Recently, I removed a toxic family member from my life after years of emotional turbulence and manipulation. This person liked to gaslight me, hold past mistakes over my head, and blame me for everyth…
After raising for 7 startups, my pitch decks have fallen into three categories (I will not promote) — Over the years, I've raised funding for 7 startups. I've also raised for startup funds and stare at a hundred pitch decks a month. Based on the patterns, I've realized my pitch decks have fallen into …
I DID IT! Put in my notice today, focusing on my agency full time. — I've been working 70+ hour weeks for the last 16 months, working a full-time job as VP of Marketing for a Fortune 500 company while also getting my side hustle marketing agency off the ground. My agen…
FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…
Women I’m dating is afraid I’ll lose interest when I learn who she really is. Seeking FA perspective. — I’m ramping up my dating efforts because I’m doing well—both financially and mentally. Things have been going really well with a new woman I’m dating. We shared a nice moment on our last date, and I’m…
How to fully be present in my dating break (build momentum at the start)? — You'd think taking a break would be straight forward, but I feel like it's more challenge for us anxious attachment/pure-O OCD types who struggle with rumination or feelings of inadequacy about their …
How to be comfortable in new, developing relationships without devaluing them for not being as deep as a past relationship (phantom ex?) — After many months of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that one of the things that made my past relationship so special is the fact that it was the first time I had ever been in touch with someone…
how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …
How do you tell whether you need to push through the avoidance or if you just don’t like them as a partner — I feel silly asking this but I’m in my first serious long term relationship and I’m struggling so hard. I get very paranoid that it’s not meant to be because I feel so insanely avoidant. Like what if …
Rushing to know if I’m long term compatible with someone — The past two years I’ve done a lot of internal work on myself regarding my attachment and codependency issues. I feel that I lean more secure than ever. I recently started seeing someone, I’ve known t…
Avoidance seeking help: what if he’s not avoidant like me, but he actually just has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about? — Been in contact with a guy for about 6 months now who has been pursuing me the entire time, subtly. When we first met, I had just broken up with my ex a couple of months prior to that (6-month long…
Projecting insecurities — Hi everyone, I’ve just realised something that I’ve been doing which I think is both an outcome of my low self esteem and also a way for me to find excuses to end relationships when otherwise I have n…
Anxious Attachment Injury - Nervous System Stuck in Fight/Flight — TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m struggling to function. I’m asking for nerv…
When does the relationship clock start? — I (42F) met my bf (36M) in September on a dating app. We dated for five weeks, then I ended things because he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship (mental health struggles). We didn’t talk for two …
I want love but can't push past knowing that I would be a burden in all of my relationships — Hi, I am a 26F and want to seek some advice from this subreddit because I truly do not know who else I can talk about this with, and writing has always been easier than talking out loud. Sidenote: I …
Alysa Liu on Eileen Gu “Y’all would have told her to go back to China. Now that they’re back in China, you’re mad.” — >What was it like to find yourself in the center of all this political discourse? >Ooh, am I? >I don’t know if you feel you are, but there is all of this discourse around you and Eileen Gu. China an…
Has anyone noticed becoming extremely aware of people’s energy or reactions over time? — I’ve been smoking occasionally for about 4 years now, but around 3–4 months ago I started noticing something strange. I began feeling much more aware of people’s vibes, expressions, and body language.…
Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…
Fantasy and Manifestation — I need to turn what's in my head into reality instead of just keeping it as a fantasy. Do you have any suggestions? How can I tell if I'm manifesting something? Does manifestation require a lot of eff…
I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…
Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …
Stuck In My Head After Affair — So 3 years ago, I found through phone bills that my wife was texting a coworker more than anyone else. I confronted her as she had also been very distant. After trickle truthing she admitted to having…
Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President?? — Hello everyone. This might be an unusual post to make at this time. However, I am looking forward to see if anyone has experienced anything similar or exactly what I have experienced. Before earlier i…
I almost shifted and i’m TERRIFIED — My friend told me about shifting today, and I decided to search it up on TikTok. I found it interesting, yet I didn’t believe it. I decided to try anyways, and I think it almost worked. I had my DR r…
Whenever I rehearse a conversation in my head (daily habit), I often use the phrase "Can I be honest?" and I want it to stop — I know that my brain rehearses this line because I want to be understood clearly, but if I used it in real life people will misread the intention as me being dishonest beforehand. Is there any advice…
You can reality shift just by washing your hands — Hey everyone, I’ve been obsessed with this idea lately and I can’t stop thinking about it: what if the simple act of washing your hands, when you actually slow down and get fully present with it, bec…
Obsessing Over There Being a Draft — I have not been able to quell my fears of a draft happening for the past few days. I’ve had this fear before but felt comforted by the fact that boots-on-ground is becoming increasingly obsolete and t…
Second Guessing My Feelings — Hi, I am starting to heal my DA attachment style but today, a minor thing has me second guessing.... my AP girlfriend normally leaves the house at 7am and I'll sleep till 8.30am. This morning, she wok…
DO NOT GIVE UP — DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! I have so much to say. But ima try to keep it short ish. I just wanted to make a quick post about my journey. I’ve been “manifesting” for five years. I actually have not. Those f…
Block them. That's all I have to say. — So, in July last year I went through this HORRIBLE heartbreak. And when I say it was a really awful breakup, trust me, it was. Almost four years of a strong relationship ended in a 5-minute call. My e…
Does anyone subconsciously think about them? — It's been five years since we last officially spoke. I was honestly doing okay for those first few years (crossing them out of my mind, going on dates, getting through other relationships and breakups…
One of the loneliest things about being single is no significant human touch. — I'm trying to get out of a long term situationship with someone. He's (38m) not right for me (38f) and I'm not right for him. That has been clear and well known. We're looking to just be friends. He…
I spent 8 years trying to “fix” my mental health and now I think the real problem is that I’ve been obsessively trying to fix myself — Hi everyone, I’m trying to explain something I’ve been struggling with and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar. For about 8 years, I’ve been deeply focused on “healing” m…
UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…
Do you feel “The Click”? — Currently talking to a friend about manifestation and trying to explain how I just “know”. So I was curious if anyone else feels an internal “click” feeling where all doubt disappears and you can move…
THE PHOENIX LIGHTS 29th ANNIVERSARY This is what I saw that night March 13, 1997. It was a totally solid piece of machinery not just lights. I could see the bottom of the UFO clearly by two light sources illuminating the bottom of the craft as it flew over my head — I posted this also in UFO sub. March 13, 1997 I was working in East Mesa, Arizona in a 10 bed Hospice inpatient unit as the Charge RN. We worked 12 hour shifts getting off at 7:30 PM but that night t…
Six months after the worst breakup of my life, I finally understand why I couldn't heal for the first three. — I'm writing this because I wish someone had said it to me when I was in month one. For the first three months I did everything people tell you to do. I went to the gym. I saw friends. I kept busy. I …
Share your most insane ‘money just appeared’ story — Here's mine: A while back life really hit me hard. I just got out of the hospital with a $4,000 bill which is huge where I live since most healthcare is government covered. My job fired me while I was…
adhd — my thoughts do not ever go away i’m either completely asleep or completely awake and my mind is racing and i will just sit there for HOURRRSS throughout the day and night idk what to do everyone alway…
I feel like I was cursed or hexed by someone. How can I get rid of this? — I suddenly feel off. I don't understand what is happening to me but I can't think about anything else other than my past mistakes in my life and insecurities and struggles and negative thoughts in my…
How do I control my anger and my lack of patience in my relationship? — I’ve been with my husband going on a year and a half. He’s a wonderful man and our relationship is overall healthy. But I fear I am becoming emotionally abusive towards him. I’ve been in bad relations…
First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …
why am i angry all the time and how do i stop that? — In general, I have always been a quietly angry person. I feel like my anger bubbles in my chest and weighs me down; I don’t know what I should do about that. Usually, I get angry at my parents, their…
Anunnaki Contact — At about 5am this morning, I woke up and stayed up, realizing and releasing deep seated fears from past lives recently stirred up. Lying there, I fell into a deep state of meditation. I found myself i…
Something from The Four Agreements finally clicked for me today — I was reading the second agreement from The Four Agreements this morning, “don’t take anything personally” and something landed in a way it never has before. I realized how many stories I tell myself…
Intense energy stuck in head — I have this energy that feels stuck in my head. I try to mediate on it, which helps sometimes. Other times I just sit here with my mouth open and try to move it around - must look bizarre to others. I…
How to get over the fear of fully astral projecting — Just less than five minutes ago, I was trying to take a nap and felt myself drifting into sleep. Just as I was about to fall asleep, I realized the state I was in and my brain became fully conscious w…
Goodbye... — I feel so awful for hurting you. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for you to burn out from me. Not a single day goes by that I’m not thinking about you. I wish I wasn’t a burden. I wish…
After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…
3 days in a row almost shifted — I need some help with the 'final push' to shift. I get to the point where I feel weightless and my soul is disconnecting; but as soon as I subconsciously realize it's happening, my mind snaps back t…
thank you! very interesting. ps.i was curious cos i read somewhere to not stop talking to the fifth dimension beings but instead to go higher in dimension, seems the 5th dimension beings still have t…
I’ve been practicing crystal medication and spiritual healing before I go to bed and last night while I was sleeping, I felt an intense vibrating feeling/ringing in my head and throughout my body. The…
Can someone explain what the fuck just happened to me. I was trying to fall asleep and when i finally succeeded i woke up again at like 3 am i realised I couldn’t move it felt like i was moving but wh…
Wanted to ask smthng. I realised i was dreaming for a first time in maybe my whole life and even better i could control it to some degree. But the dream kinda lost its depth when i became lucid and th…
What has been bouncing around in my head is “why does the parent do this? Why can they not just do the bare minimum?” which has made me contemplate if they have had their own share of abuse, or a ment…
PLEASE READ IF YOUR LOOKING INTO ASTRAL PROJECTING. About 2 months ago I was looking extremely deep into astral projecting, once I seen what it was I was instantly drawn to it and thought it was inter…
Yes! Agree. It's just like affirmations are just as effective, but they rarely give me "that" feeling. It took alot of time get in my head that emotions was a reaction to a present true thought. And…
1. Mental thoughts don’t become physical reality. Beliefs do. Repetitive mental thoughts turn into beliefs. 2. People in your world reflect your beliefs. Perhaps upon meeting someone you had an origi…
Working on this :) Though unfortunately in my case, my avoidant ex was just a bad person and serial cheater. It's led to some passive blurring of the lines between him and avoidants in general in my h…
I'm a dismissive avoidant for sure. I've been in therapy for like a year I guess and my therapist is really the only person I have any sort of emotional connection with. It's honestly weird but it tot…
I’ve felt mine hated me. When I finally let go I realized it was more likely something I came up with on my own. The silence leaves us with so much space to make assumptions. For my situation, I thoug…
Oh, this is a cool topic, there is nothing cooler than the fucking time that is chasing us. I was just in the middle of my first mission related to a new job. At that time I was already quite burnt…
That is a very interesting refelction! As someone more anxious, I tend to do similar things. The only difference is that I place people on a pedestal, more so when I haven't met them. I always have an…
I’m in the same boat. The timeline was brief (about a month total) but very recent, and this man has lived in my head ever since. I’m proud to say (as an anxious) that I didn’t do any protest behavior…
Yes I know this feeling. A big thing that helped for me was to actually notice when I'm picking my partner apart in my head or feeling some ick. I have to objectively observe those feelings and ask if…
I'm the same but also with the avoidant tendencies. So i pull away dramatically for what looks like no reason. I spiral, I get in my head, I misread signs, I misunderstand, im shit at boundaries, I …
I don't know how to not devalue people in my head when it's clear that they cannot reciprocate the amount of attention and care I give them, this is especially clear when I try to get emotional suppor…
I would chat GPT my feelings and responses. Sometimes having clarity as to what is actually happening and getting some constructive answers helps me calm my brain and eventually all the noise in my he…
Looking for some advice because I am struggling a lot at the minute. I (31F) have been with my (35M) partner for 2,5 years. We have a good relationship and it is the first mature relationship I have b…
The one on toxic shame, the first time I listened to it I remember thinking "well this doesn't apply to me at all" except there was one part that really resonated. So a week later I listened again, b…
Yes I have BPD along with anxious attachment issues. It very much so is painful. Yeah I understand taking substances isn’t a health way to coping with it but sometimes I just don’t wanna be alone stuc…
She talked shit about me being obsessed with her, while unbeknownst to my friends she was breadcrumbing me, emotionally manipulating me and gaslighting me. The angriest I’ve ever seen her was when I …
So I (35M) have an anxious avoidant attachment style, and I really don’t enjoy it. My Ex (32F) is pretty much exactly the opposite which had us in several head butting moments where she just wanted to…
I'm glad you recognized the bias for yourself. It's so noticeable as an avoidant, as I carry many scars from APs (not demonizing all of them, just obviously insecure attachment is a two sided coin.) S…
I’m 45F. I was previously anxious and have moved to secure. Part of getting there was realizing that my family of origin had used me as a scapegoat. I set a boundary with my mom that she could no long…
Text of original post by u/wordsworthcrafting: You'd think taking a break would be straight forward, but I feel like it's more challenge for us anxious attachment/pure-O OCD types who struggle with ru…
This is all valid, thank you! We've been together for 17 years, this Halloween 😁 He is extremely familiar with my trauma, and could probably tell you exactly what is going on in my head during these…
Thank you. Yeah I’ve been working a lot on my AA since it used to be really bad so I gave him the benefit of the doubt, I was for sure going crazy during this in my head, but wanted to remain calm. So…
When I find myself caught in an anxious spiral, these are the things I've found that help me most: 1) Get moving - I pop in my earbuds, turn on a true crime podcast to engage my brain, put the leash …
I don’t have advice but you perfectly worded one of my main struggles in dating and relationships in general especially the fear of never trusting anyone and just always being so picky and particular …
Yeah, IPF seems to be the most straightforward way to change the old emotional imprints. I looked at IFS as well (it is also often mentioned in context of attachment trauma repair) but frankly it didn…
I just got out of a 10yr relationship, we still talk and have talked since we broke up. We broke up due to distance and needing to become our own people after having been in a relationship for so long…
Security can sometimes feel boring after coming from a push-pull dynamic. It’s only a problem if you’re actively turned off to sex with your partner. Honeymoon phases *can* last six months to two …
Thanks so much, I definitely pride myself on being self-aware. I was self-aware through the whole toxic "relationship" but just wanted to convince myself it could work because I had a really good time…
I recently met a guy that I really like. He's amazing, patient, kind and consistent. He FaceTime me all the time, asks to see me when he can. On days when we aren't in the office, we go work together …
*Should I text her or stay silent? Don’t want to restart hope or regret not trying.* I (male) am really confused about a girl and could use some clear advice. Around 2 months ago, I confessed to a …
I still have that, but I also understand people are more interesting and complex than the version of them I have in my head.
True. When I started online dating, I thought I had to agree to things that are dealbreakers (like polyamory/open relationship) because, in my head, that was to ”compromise”. Now I know how to set bou…
> The faux-closeness besides trauma dumping has been cuddly roleplay, because my autistic brain interprets that as ”real” because of the distance (and I’m starved for cuddling, in an innocent way, wit…
I work in the tourism industry. Over the last year, I became extremely close to a coworker. We went through a lot together — long tours, stressful days, emotional breakdowns, late-night calls, comfort…
I relate with so much of what you have written. For me, it's very similar in that it feels like an ever-present sense of calm or okayness. I think that there are two main feelings that I often have …
As someone who is currently quitting smoking and has had partners worry/stress about it in the past, the biggest place that I see this go wrong is that partners focus on the *act* of smoking and mista…
Easier than expected and different from what I expected to find. I identified AP characteristics and worked on them, starting about 2 1/2 yrs ago because of family patterns and a crisis with someone I…
What do I do when my AA gets validated? To make a long story short I was with a guy and I was doing a really good job of fighting against my typical AA feelings, then they all became basically valida…
I would like to know how I can classify my feelings about the relationship I am currently in. I (M) have been in a relationship with K (F) for three and a half years. It's my first relationship and …
I really hope I can find some answers here about why I’m unable to let go of and forget one person. The breakup was unbearably painful, drawn-out, and emotionally exhausting. I spent years chasing an…
This is an amazing reply thank you so much 🥹 I think that’s a great idea. I’m actually taking space from him right now and visiting my family for the holidays and it definitely helps me take a deep b…
Just to add on top of this - I never knew I was actually de activating and I thought how I handled situations was the best way to handle them. You have to understand some of us won’t/didn’t realise o…
Text of original post by u/acidemise: The past two years I’ve done a lot of internal work on myself regarding my attachment and codependency issues. I feel that I lean more secure than ever. I recentl…
I have been dating a guy for a couple months. I can’t tell if I am getting in my head and overthinking things, or if he is not that interested. I am having a conversation with him about this as soon a…