reward

I think there's always some value in taking the time to sit with your feelings and really process them. Anxiety or avoidance, it's always good to understand where your feelings are coming from. I see …

Virtualization is hurting my mental state. — I was just curious if anyone else was experiencing this. With the rise of AWS and other cloud services, it's making my work feel more and more "fake". All the machines are virtual, the networks are vi…

Low-risk, High-reward, and Easy-to-start Business... an A-Z overview of the Rental Management business I run (I will not promote) — Hey everyone, I'm a real estate & software developer, AirBnB Host of \~20 units personally, and I help run a management company with \~200 client homes. So I've been through the ringer in every which …

I made $32 after 16 months of coding. Was it all a waste of time? — Over the last 16 months, I’ve done something that sounds cooler than it really is: I built a SaaS. In my free time, at night, on weekends, while everyone else was at the beach or watching Netflix, I …

Shoppay rewards options deteriorating with use? — I saw some people post some shop pay questions on here so I hope I’m not in the wrong spot… I use the shop pay app fairly regularly. So I have accumulated more rewards that I need to use. I typically…

Pouncemonial: 9th Kill - 30 Successful Trades — **Mission**: To accomplish 30 successful trades **What I achieved**: Accomplished 30 successful trades and learned how to execute and manage trades well. **Background**: With the previous kill, …

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Today marks 6 months since we last saw and spoke to each other — As the person on the receiving end of testing behaviors, ghosting, and a discard, I would love to hear that my former flame is doing well or even an apology. We have known each other for almost…

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…

I'm so tired of people. — For reference, a couple of years ago, I was in an abusive relationship that kinda changed who I am. I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say that I used to be outgoing and fun, but also I h…

“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.” - Alice Roosevelt Longworth — Written by Alice Roosevelt about her father, Teddy. I feel like this quote perfectly captures the dynamics of having an nParent. Whenever sympathy, positive attention or adoration is being doled out …

My attorney said "most people don't know what they're entitled to" - so I made a checklist and found $47K my ex "forgot" about — Going through a divorce right now. My attorney told me something that floored me: most people settle for less than they're owed because they don't know all the places assets can hide. So I went throu…

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Song banned from Casinos cause 'it makes you win more' — There's a song trending back on TikTok videos and people claim Ring My Bell by Anita Ward is banned in casinos because the frequencies supposedly make slot machines pay out more the story going aroun…

You will be rewarded openly! I promise! — How to manifest your desire? Well, We all know the "How"(Techniques to get into the state) but We don't know "How" (bridge of incident) whole thing will arranged itself to produce the result of the i…

It's not lovebombing. It's grooming. — Adult grooming is a pattern where someone gradually (or rapidly) builds trust, lowers boundaries, gathers leverage, and conditions an adult target to tolerate confusion, dependency, secrecy, or sexual…

I burned out so badly I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks and the recovery taught me everything about my limits — Last year I hit a wall that I didn't see coming. I thought I was fine. I was working sixty hour weeks, maintaining an active social life, going to the gym, keeping up with everything. I felt like I wa…

Thinking More and More About Just *How* Boring They Were — One of the things that really boggles my mind looking back on my childhood is just how little my parents ever entertained any ideas of direction or progress within their own lives. My father worked t…

I Changed Myself and Got it All — Hello, I’ve been wanting to write this post for a very long time. Grab a snack and come along for the ride! **The Beginning: April - October 2022** I discovered Neville 4 years ago; after a year of …

~1 year no contact check in. It gets better! — Here’s my experience of going from never being single as an adult to single and happy (spoiler alert! It was SO hard but probably the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done).  Background context: I had …

I wanted to discuss letters 3 to 5 of Moral Letters. — I just finished letters 3 to 5 of Letters From a Stoic by Seneca.  I wanted to summarise what I got from them, and talk with y'all about the parts I didn’t fully understand. If I misrepresented or mis…

How do I stop the need for scrolling after a long day? — i worked hard today. Went to see some apartments, had 2 zoom calls with potential clients, workout in the morning.  Now, at 9pm, I want to relax, to eat and watch some YT. I really feel i deserve a l…

How to know if a kid is normal or needs counseling? — At what point do you take a child (11 f) to counseling or therapy for the following: Avoidant about interacting with non-familial adults (teachers, waiters, doctor, dentist, store clerk, literally an…

Do you believe "clothes make the man" or is it just a lazy proxy for judgment we should have evolved past by now? — I used to think "clothes make the man" was nonsense. Now I'm not so sure, and it bothers me. I've built what I consider a genuinely good life: solid health (M37, Italian), a great marriage (18y this …

Should I apologize to my ex? and if so, is this a good way to do it? — About two weeks ago, my (18f) ex bf (18m) (we dated for a year) broke up with me for a variety of reasons, most of them being because he didn't have time anymore/was too busy/didn't have the emotional…

self concept! — i’ve started working on self concept the past month and i wanted to share some things i’ve manifested recently! most of these are things i manifested “accidentally” 😊 1 - midterm questions! twice! …

Basking in the Dawn I Once Asked For — I wrote something in November when I was still in it.  This is where I am now.   2025 broke me.  Not all at once. Slowly, then all at once.   Loss came in waves. Quiet at first, then closer toge…

Praised as "gifted" — TL;DR: Did you recieve praise as a "gifted" child? Did your family never encourage effort and only praised results? As an adult, because of this, do you now find doing the things you were praised for …

I can't lucid dream even after years of trying — It was probably more than 5 years ago when i first heard about lucid dreaming. At the time i was super hyped, lucid dreaming sounded so cool, the endless possibilities sounded amazing. For multiple we…

Movies :3 - Day 17-18 of Recovery — Two day combined post again because I keep forgetting sorry... First off, I wanted to give an update on the meditation, I still think it's kinda silly, but it's definitely working. my emotional regul…

My peculiar version of ladder experiment + how I manifest effortlessly — This is gonna be long, but worth the read. I've been consciously manifesting for years with lots of successes but recently fell off my mental diet a bit (bc I'm human, ayo 😂) so was recommitting to…

Looking for advice about abusive spouse who is now restricting access to our money. — My (43) spouse (45) who has been abusive for the entirety of our relationship of 10 years - (physically for a while (towards our children), always/currently emotional/psychologically/verbally to every…

Talk to me about this… do you think the universe rewards action? — I have this business idea that keeps coming into my head over and over. It’s not going away no matter how much I try to ignore it. Part of me feels like if I actually take action on it, the universe …

Needing help setting boundaries — Hello! I wanted some advice on how to deal with my mom. For context: I am 26 and live a half hour from my parents, who are both retired. I visit them two to three times per month between two jobs, an…

How do I (38M) tell my GF (41F) my true feelings about love? — The other night my girlfriend (41F) was discussing philosophy with me (38M), which is really sweet of her seeing how she knows it's one of my big interests and I'm a deep thinker. I have been with her…

Alone — I was raised by narcissists. They abused me in multiple different ways, did not allow me to see my friends, blamed me for things they literally did, encouraged me to harm myself, stole my identity, an…

I feel stuck — Hey hey, Im 25m, autistic and have experienced trauma my whole life. I struggle greatly with appreciating the amount of work and success I have achieved in the past, to still keep on going. Every li…

Took DMT first time the night before, watched Enter the Void on shrooms the next day. Now I think Im traumatised. — ​ So the night before, I did DMT for the first time. It was a lot. Colours I had never seen before, geometric shapes constantly moving and transforming, and a sense of presence that I still ca…

I hate therapy/Psychology — I hate therapy. I hate that therapy has become a substitute for the discomfort produced by terrible material conditions, turning structural problems into individual ones. I don't have a personal probl…

Going through Truma therapy as a college student. Any advice for summer coming up — I am somewhat young college age. College is coming to a end for the seamster I am behind on credits and I can’t go home for the summer it is such a toxic environment for me and my grandma can get em…

Is it too late for me? — Is it possible to start over and change at 30? I used to be a bad person due to substance issues and an abusive childhood. I was forced to take medication at 12 years old, and then given addictive pil…

30M girlfriend of 1 year 29F Girlfriend kissed another man on drunken out. Where do i go from here? — My girlfriend and i have been together for about 1 year. The relationship has been mostly solid, with a few issues here and there. For context she is an INFP-T and I am an INFJ-A. Whenever one of us i…

I'm going to Celine Dion's concert! — I grew up with an older brother who is a massive Celine Dion fan. He has all her albums, all her collector's items, and he even crossed the ocean to see her live—he’s seen her in concert six times! I …

30M girlfriend of 1 year 29F Girlfriend kissed another man on drunken out. Where do i go from here? — My girlfriend and i have been together for about 1 year. The relationship has been mostly solid, with a few issues here and there. For context she is an INFP-T and I am an INFJ-A. Whenever one of us i…

Am I wrong for wanting to leave my parents house? — I need an unbiased and outsiders point of view. I've been working on creating a plan for independent living with an organization because I'm really beginning to reach my limit. I'm stressed all the t…

Are my manifestations aligning or and I being wishful/ or hopeful? — It’s me again lol!! Okay so I’ve been manifesting and focusing on my self growth and spirituality a lot. After my ex and I broke up I’ve been focusing on is getting back together because I know I ma…

Does anyone's parents have unreasonable paranoia and distrust of other people and their intentions? — High levels of paranoia and distrust are something anyone can have, but I'll type anyways. When I overhear my parents talking with loved ones on the phone and just hear them talk to me, I notice that …

High-risk ,High-reward method? 33 66 99 — A variation of 369 wherein instead of writing the affirmation 3 6 9 times daily, you write it 33 66 99 times daily. Of course this is a TOLL on the user! very hard to consistently do, pull off. but..…

Starting chores starting starting starting — Yes I have adhd/depression/anxiety/autism/ptsd/ocd. Yes I have ADHD. Work 12pm-8pm most days. Most days go like this. Wake up around 8-9. Try to get out of bed. Too tired so lie in bed dicking aro…

Inability to be happy due to verbal abuse my story. — This post is going to be messy as I am just writing down what I am thinking with no actual plan to express my ideas I don’t know where to start but i am writing this post here to express how I am fee…

Moving from 'Getting' to 'Being' — The most common reason for the failure of manifestation is not a lack of effort, but an excess of it; specifically, the exhausted habit of affirming to get. I believe that it could be beneficial to be…

>About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought I’d always be broke. I even had to take a screenshot of my bank balance to remind myself of that amaz…

Easier said than done. I have no motivation to do anything. She was a big motivation for me in life. I’m going on 13 days NC now, and I have a very very strong urge to reach out. She reached out 3 tim…

Okay logic and science- so your RAS reticular activating system is basically the minds way of filtering and processing the insurmountable data that it takes in from the environment 24/7 as well as pro…

Yes! I was thinking about Jung's Shadow and Assagioli's Subpersonalities just the other day. There are so many parts to our personality, often contrasting with each other, but we grow up feeling like…

Yes, not easy, especially when dealing with employees. It takes a lot of work too but there’s a different drive there than working for someone else. Also no cap on your salary and a sellable business …

Honestly the amount doesn't matter. Everyone pretty much starts the same way. Worked a full time job while starting my business. Essentially spent every moment of free time before and after work …

I think we cannot really move on faster but definitely will bring less baggage into a new relationship. I think it just makes us more likely to heal than to gain scars we have to live with. Their acti…

I'm a neuroscientist and I know a conditioned puppy when I see one. I will continue to meet what I sense being 110% wrapped up in classical conditioning and subjective emotions with 110% mental clar…

u/TTMI2 It’s really a shame to see sooo many cut throat answers here that leave little room for personal development and growth. These responses are missing a very important point; *attachment styles…

You should be allocating your resources towards finding secure people who are also into you. Nothing good will come out of this. Leave DAs alone immediately the moment they show dismissive avoidant tr…

Im healing FA myself and my unaware FA avoidant leaning did this all the time. She was hard people pleaser aswell and when time passed i couldnt trust anymore what she said to me. I really understand …

Female friends can be 100x more rewarding and affectionate, growth-minded than some man who sees you as inferior and not worth a hug Also I dated a man who cheated on me 100x. I had this fantastical…

I had this two years ago with someone who I’d lived with for 6 years after we moved out. It was so paintful and uncomfortable. There’s one main thing I would recommend… Letting time pass and filling …

Am I understanding correctly your wife said she would stop engaging with you if you go to therapy for yourself? This is a complex long term ingrained issue. I give you genuine kudos on working on thi…

Thanks! > Am I understanding correctly your wife said she would stop engaging with you if you go to therapy for yourself? Yes :( > I give you genuine kudos on working on this for the sake of your c…

Sure, here is a portion that resonated with me a lot and made sense on what attracts me to the avoidants or unavailable or troubled people. Shall share more if you are interested: The need to be need…

I reflected on my future because I finally realized I don't want to spend the rest of my life in a distant marriage. Before that, for many years I guess I lived in some sort of fantasy world where the…

The one thing I've come to understand, as I've gained confidence in myself, is that you never stop attracting certain types of people, you simply stop entertaining them. All types of people are attra…

Me too. Intimacy and Pleasure are most rewarding in the longterm.

I have been poly and have had good experiences with it (returned to monogamy though bc my partner is mono) but I would highly advise you against it as well at this time. Your primary relationship is …

OMG thank you!!! I was SO proud of myself for allowing myself to just take the baby steps and it was really rewarding to know that I'm reading situations better and going out of my comfort zone. Thank…

I'm so tired of people acting like 'being your authentic self' will be rewarded. They say 'well if you don't do it you're a coward', but my beef is this: clearly, if you feel comfortable showing every…

I can relate to a lot of this! For context, I come from a background where controlled emotions and behaviour is very normal and almost rewarded, so for me, that's always been my comfort zone. Additio…

So for me shame spirals are something I deal with as an anxious attachment and also as someone with adhd. What really helps me when I’m in that space is to force myself into some kind of routine, even…

Yes, I absolutely agree with all of this. It isn't about connection for them, it's about having unfettered access to emotional servitude and that gives me the biggest ick. My line of work attracts a…

Nerves. I can't remember the last time i've rejected someone I dated, so I'm having a hard time deciphering how i'm feeling. I had a great first date with a girl last weekend and since then we've conn…

Based on your responses, the only reason *not* to reject her is because you'd feel bad about it. Just send a text that says you didn't feel a romantic connection/spark/etc. I promise, people send and …

nah, call it off. the people pleasing is going to turn into resentment pretty quickly, especially if you have to drive 2 hours. i'd reframe that question as whether physical chemistry matters in LTR…

Text of original post by u/pineconewashington: Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we can…

What an interesting and thought-provoking post. Love it. I think what you describe here is more of an explanation for why avoidant attachment is glorified and can become so entrenched. Attachment in…

How exactly does our culture *reward* hyper-independence? I don’t think all discourse makes such a definitive line in the sand as to how it relates to “needs” or “withdrawal”. Such topics are highly s…

Lately I've been trying to be a bit more forward with people I like IRL, and it's been difficult but rewarding for me. The truth is you can show quite a lot of interest while maintaining some degree o…

It's not that there *isn't* talk about interdependence or co-regulation. I agree that more conversations about community and the importance of social bonds are taking place now. How we metabolize cult…

I would like to note that I do understand what you are saying and get how Society plays a role. I think if anything, what I take issue with is its a little too black and white. That Instagram post is …

lol he’s a manipulative pos who got caught. He knew he was being slippery with his words, and he should have been the one who clarified. Don’t reward his lying - dtmfa.

Wow, this is well articulated. I've speculated for a while that the reported numbers of people in western societies with avoidant attachment aren't reflecting reality. There's this number bandied ab…

The risk to reward ratio of speed dating surely isn’t worth it. I’ve done it four times now and never gotten a match, but I’ve spent hundreds on tickets, travel, and drinks. I put my best self forwa…

I love bowling and have been in a league for the last ~6 years. It’s definitely an interesting and diverse crowd! It’s been fun and rewarding meeting a lot of people, and I’ve definitely made new frie…

its tough to get over that embarrassment factor but... honestly no one cares. No one else cares whatever happens and would likely not think of you or the situation again even later the same day. You m…

1. State your rising sign (this is important). Capricorn rising 2. State the sign and degree of your natal Saturn (we much prefer you use the Whole Sign house system, but if you use Placidus, the …

Don't take his call, you're done. You're right to end things after he ghosted, alongside all the other ways he has treated you badly. Please just block him. Congrats on finding the cat a home! Helpin…

Your comment has reminded me that dating can be fun and rewarding even in the absence of finding a partner. Feeling demoralised about it ATM but resentment of the process gets you nowhere. Good luck o…

The missing demographic thing is real and nobody talks about it. Women in their early-mid 30s who have their lives together are usually not hanging out in the same visible public spaces as college kid…

For me… Aquarius Jupiter is my chart ruler and is in my 2nd house (3rd in whole signs). I’ve somehow chosen things to study that require massive machines and lots of space lol. Like printmaking, piano…

ENFP/Type 5/SA here. 45 years old with about 20-30 friends, most of them over 30 years. I wont speak for SA in general, I would just share my little world/POV. \--------- Extremely honest to the po…

This is kind of what I struggled with when I was dating. I wanted SO BAD to be an equal rights feminist and believed that if I'm after a partnership of equals, then our effort in dating should be equa…

This is the best answer. You won’t be 100% sure not to get it, but the odds are super low. It’s all about risk vs reward and on this one, you just need to minimize that risk as much as you possibl…

You’re way smarter than you’re giving yourself credit for. These are things others would dismiss or laugh off oh that was weird lol, until it was too late. I think you’ve just avoided a possible maj…

i resonate so much with this. i genuinely love my solitude and healthy friendships, but don't see myself getting in another serious relationship ever again. a peaceful life spent getting know myself, …