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I did my own little "retreat" of just a few days and it was the best experience and the happiest I have ever been in the past 10 years. And it already happened on the third day! Since then, that state…
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…
Unsent letter to a prior ex, in the midst of a current breakup. — I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known about the anxious-avoidant trap for some time…
Transits that can show long-distance travels & spiritual retreat? — I was trying to find what transits could show long-distance travels, involving a spiritual retreat? Or maybe, that comes with a massive life-change? It should be the 9th and 12th house, and Jupiter,…
Highly recommend Bruce Moen’s Voyage’s Into the Afterlife Series — I haven't seen this series mentioned here yet, so I thought I'd share! Bruce Moen was a highly proficient student of the Monroe Institute. His writing is engaging and wonderfully honest. The series s…
UPDATE: I asked for a divorce — Here is my original post: https://old.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/1b6vfpt/i_asked_for_a_divorce/ Hi everyone. Hope this post finds everyone better than the last time I posted. I last po…
I meditated for 10 years. Here is how life changed — This is a personal anecdote of daily (99.5%) meditation practice spanning 10 years. I hope this will be helpful for those looking for motivation for their practice. Personally, I found external motiva…
"Men Can't Be Men Anymore" — A week ago, I [posted about the Louis Theroux documentary on the “Manosphere,”](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/1rtveyg/the_manosphere/) noting my surprise at the scale of the phenomenon, u…
Trans in a religious and conservative Viet household — Truthfully, it’s just awful. I (23FtM, pre-everything) am bisexual and trans. And I just happen to unfortunately be born in a Vietnamese Catholic household that loves our good ol’ president. Not to me…
Are meditation retreats worth it? — I have a 25 minute daily practice. I was wondering if you thought meditaiton retreats are worth it, including the ones you travel for. Thanks
She admits the lies and secrecy, but still denies anything physical — I’m posting because I feel like I’m losing my grip on what is real, and I need perspective from people who understand trickle truth, repeated minimizing, and what it feels like when someone admits jus…
My friend/coworker (26F) didn’t invite me (26M) to her birthday party after I helped her get her job. How do I handle this? — My friend who is also my coworker (26F) is having a birthday party this weekend and I (26M) just realized I wasn’t invited. This is especially weird because I literally recommended her for her current…
I think my friend is leaving me and it's destroying me — I have been knowing this friend for around a year or so. We bonded very quickly, opened up about our pasts, shared a lot and quickly became great friends. We used to chat all the time (pretty much lit…
Any meditators who mix techniques ever try a 10-day vipassana retreat? — How did it compare to other branches of meditation you’ve done? Was it difficult to let go of other practice “habits” during your retreat? How did you continue to integrate vipassana into your prac…
I'm in a depressing place mentally — I've been badly depressed for at least 10-15 years. I don't know what it is, I just can't seem to find a spark in my life. I don't know what I want to do with myself. I've had a couple of failed rela…
Monroe Institute (UK) Retreat Experiences? — Hello fellow Explorers! Has anyone here been to the Monroe Institute in the UK for any of their retreats, e.g. the 2-day Exploring Consciousness workshop or the full week Gateway Voyage program?…
Any recommendations for retreat type-thing? — Hi I think I’d like to attend a retreat type thing probably somewhere in Asia (not really fussy) for possibly a month or so to try and get in the habit of meditating / yoga to improve my mental health…
Disability discrimination at Goenka retreats — I recently attended a 10-day Vipassana course at Dhamma Dipa (UK). I’m neurodivergent (ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, awaiting autism assessment) and rely on earplugs as a medically necessary sens…
Told my husband (37M) my life (34F) would be easier without him following a disagreement about household chores. — My husband 37M and I 34F have been married 5 years, together 8 and we have 3 kids (I have a 13 year old and 10 year old from a prior relationship ship and my husband and I have a 3 year old). I have p…
Dear parents, why are you even here — For context, my parents immigrated from their home country of China to a western country, Canada. But I’m pretty sure they hate it here. They constantly complain about how everything is worse here, ho…
I'm convinced that my family is fine without me — Hey everyone I'm 25, the only daughter (I have two brothers) and I'm currently still living at home (financial reasons, I do pay rent and cover my own expenses) Our mom has always been easily annoye…
My implant experience. — My abduction story: https://www.reddit.com/r/Experiencers/s/xQyjzIRjiQ This is one of several experiences I’ve had after my abduction. For context, the abduction itself happened in 2018, and this pa…
How to have a successful mediation retreat? — Meditation for me has always followed the pattern: 10 minutes of great concentration followed by 50 minutes of trying to stay awake. I've gotten as much as 40 min in before fighting dozing but only un…
Turbulent year. Opinions on the worst year of my life? — I got into a relationship at 16. Within the first two years of our relationship I discovered he was cheating by having sexual chats and sending explicit pictures online to other women. I forgave him a…
Preparing for IMS unification of mind/concentration retreat — I'm planning on taking the IMS [unification of mind retreat](https://events.dharma.org/en/5f7ITk77/g/dF22C48yn6/unification-of-mind-concentration-retreat-5a2xVI3mybF) in July (So 3 months to prepare, …
Big change coming — It may seem small, but I'm getting myself a bed. Own bedsheets and all. I've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a year and on an uncomfortable shaky bed before that. I chose the bed, everyt…
One of my (former??) best friends (36M) only contacts me (34F) through his wife or mom now — One of my oldest friends has been retreating inward over the past several years, now has chronic fatigue syndrome, and if I have any chance at reaching him it's pretty much only via his wife or mom. U…
Monk Mode — I play poker professionally and so being in flow state, present etc is important. I also have to study it a lot, and so keeping tabs on dopamine consumption matters as well. I’m more of an all or noth…
The guy I’m recently seeing (23M) made a sexist joke about me (23F) to his friends — So I’ve been talking to this guy for around 2 months. We met through a mutual friend while he was in the city I live in (just visiting, he lives about a 5 hour drive away). Things are amazing for the …
Dreamt my therapist morphed into my abusive mother. Now I’m terrified of her and want to quit. Can I just "skip" healing my childhood trauma? — I really need some advice. I’m feeling incredibly lost, desperate, and terrified of going back to therapy. I’m a college senior graduating in a few months, and I’ve been seeing a counselor at my uni…
the habit that stuck for 880 days only worked because I made it embarrassingly small — I meditate daily. have for almost 900 days now. but it almost didn't happen because I kept trying to do too much. the meditation tradition I practice (vipassana, it's a body scanning technique) tells…
[48F] Planning a secret exit from my highly volatile partner [56M] of 10 years. Seeking advice on safely executing a remote breakup under the guise of a work trip. — **Background:** I have been with my partner, "P", for 10 years, and the relationship has completely drained me emotionally and financially. P is a severe alcoholic who drinks about a liter of vodka a …
If anyone here has committed to a week's/ month long digital detox before a meditation retreat it would be helpful to read of your experience — For example, pre Vipassana if you've disconnected from most or all digital devices.
How should I spend 2 months off? — How would you spend two months off? I’m a 29F year old lawyer that just quit my job. I’m going to take at least 2 months off. I’ve never taken any extend time off in my life. I have 20k set aside spe…
Anxiety about starting therapy — I have been considering finding a therpist for a really long time now (mostly for my anxiety, amongst other things), but I am very anxious about opening up. I have been an intensely secretive person m…
Trading my "Insecurity Armor" for a real connection with a guy (26M) who actually sees me (21/F) — I (**21/F**) have my first date this weekend with a guy (**26/M**) I met on TikTok about three weeks ago. He’s a professional chef, and honestly, the way he speaks to me feels like a foreign language …
Please don't pay someone to teach you to meditate — It's not like a secret anime kung fu move or learning how to wire a house. Time put into practice is a hundred times more relevant than fancy techniques. You can literally learn to meditate from a 10…
My life was taken before it ever got to begin, thanks to her — It's hard to know where to start because my own memories of childhood have mostly eroded entirely. I'm 25, and I can't tell if I just have general memory issues or if the trauma is really that great. …
Mushrooms have lost their magic for me — I'm 26, I've been taking magic mushrooms on and off since my early twenties, so ultimately not a long period of time, however I have done a 5-6 large doses ranging from 8-12g, and once even with a 200…
He Married me and went for honeymoon with his sidechick next month — I couldn’t bear this betrayal, my blood boils when i realise that i got fooled by this guy who married me for no reason at all, In dating phase he said all flowery things , but right after marriage he…
Silent Retreat Recommendation — Hi everyone. I'm looking for silent retreat recommendations. I'm not looking for yoga centered retreats. I'm more so looking for somewhere with fresh air, clean eating, silence, and maybe lots of walk…
Dissociative daydreaming — so starting at the age of three and continuing at 5-6, and 8 I was molested by a Sunday school teacher, classmate, and babysitter, respectively. i dealt with the pain of this my retreating inward. I w…
Anapana vs vipassana? — After Goenka style retreat, you’re advised to maintain continuity of practice. I find however that daily life stressors make concentration way harder to maintain for me. So much tha I have found mys…
I think I'm being led to the Gateway Tapes? — The past few years I've been slowly going down the rabbit hole of "something more." I've always been fascinated by UFOs but it was reignited when I heard an interview with Leslie Kean and was brought…
A poem to the Infinite — Thought some on here might enjoy this. I had my first psychedelic experiences 10 years ago and that was the beginning of the great reformation of my life and self. Mostly now I focus on meditation to …
My legs still go numb after 30 minutes, despite sitting cross-legged for hours daily — Hello, I have been sitting cross-legged for 6 hours every day, yet my legs still go numb every 30 minutes. Even switching legs doesn't help. I have to extend one leg out for a few minutes before retur…
2 Months after I broke up with my abusive Ex. — I'll give a bit of context before I get into how my recovery has gone so far. I (19M) met my now ex (21F) at university through a club that I am an exec in and that she was at the time a member of. w…
Anybody know about long term wellness stays anywhere in the world? — So both my mom and I are kind of at a transition period of our lives. I am finishing a PhD in the next few months, and she recently lost her dad and trying to reclaim her health. We don't live togethe…
Lived in survival mode for 3 years, lost all sense of identity — For the past 3 years I’ve lived in absolute survival mode. I moved out for college, I live in dorms, I share my bedroom with one person. I have 3-4 more years of college left. My environment is sever…
BF broke up with me but sending mixed messages — I (34F) have been with my bf (37M)for about 4 months, when we met we hit it off instantly, it was like we’d known eachother for years but I had doubts due to the fact that I have children and his are …
Yes that's typical avoidant behaviour, it may also be linked to introversion. My ex FA girlfriend would retreat systematically after we had a great time. They get a bit overwhelmed and scared when th…
I think I sometimes do feel like it’s a little bit of whiplash, but I think it’s more so when they haven’t been making time for themself or are burning the candle at both ends with work, etc, and we m…
I think I have the opposite issue? I can’t form an attachment to any therapist no matter what. I always want to retreat and it feels like I’m sending myself toward a trap each session, the closer I ge…
i’m an FA too and i will gladly and happily hate someone i cared about a week ago. it’s not some sudden thing, i just get a sort of “cumulative ick” feeling, and eventually there’s a straw that breaks…
Hm. I'm not entirely following I think. It sounds broken up - but you did continue to see each other? And yea, understandably so. Back and forth is just irritating, even if it doesn't trigger any …
>The no contact has been brutal. As if none of it meant anything. Especially when all you hear is so much “if they wanted to they would” and “they always come back” rhetoric. For me it was confusing a…
That last part is what happens with my partner. It hurts so much that she feels me trigger a core wound. She will retreat for a few days, usually 4 or 5 and then come back when she's regulated. She …
This is him retreating back into his old bullshit under the guise of “working on himself”. The work he needs to do is figuring out how to be a good partner to you and he’s abandoning that relationship…
The fact that she brought it up so early, to me, is a green flag. Those who have been repeatedly hurt by FAs would say it’s a green flag in a sea of red, but IMO to be able to openly have discussions …
I think what you’re describing is actually really common in anxious–avoidant pairings. You’re not crazy for how you reacted.Your nervous system was just trying to find safety, while his was trying to …
These are my personal experiences from FAs: bad texter, late replies, hard time describing themselves and their emotions, past history of relationships (or none), problems with parents, retreat in soc…
Just plain ask them how they deal during conflict with people they are close with. If they retreat and avoid them then you have your answer.
Hey all—seeking some empathy & advice. My partner is, I believe, avoidant and very quiet/an internal person/processor. This naturally leads to some anxiety in me when they’re not super present. Wh…
So, I heard a saying once when I was going through a really bad OCD flair, I think this will help. ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. Anxiety comes at us in waves. We have to feel the wave wash over us…
Are you maybe the hybrid type? Anxious-Avoidant? Also called Fearful Avoidant. It helped me to realize I was actually an anxious avoidant and not just anxious when I heard someone explain what their …
Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: I am in a crash course on my own nervous system while in the midst of a breakup with a dismissive avoidant man I've loved for almost five years. I'd known abou…
FA here it’s not splitting I think that’s for an actual mental health disorder or personality disorder. Let’s all be clear attachment styles are not disorders and they all can be changed with the prop…
**He finally opened up after a year… now I’m unsure if I should stay or walk away - how do I know if he’s actually capable of change?** I’m FA-leaning-secure after therapy; he is avoidant and until r…
i'm so tired of being avoidant and getting close to people only to repeat the same patterns. I think there's some core belief/thought that i'm too much for people/friends/loved ones and when we get cl…
Whenever I try addressing conflicts instead of avoid them, it’s not just an emotional response, it’s like my whole body is physically fighting the urge to retreat. I also have diagnosed anxiety which …
my understanding is that avoidant patterns tend to come out after a period of closeness. upon feeling close, they feel engulfed or overwhelmed and retreat. doesn't sound like y'all have had enough cl…
Panopticon dynamics lol. Even zoo animals will develop unhealthy behaviors if you don't give them a place to hide sometimes. Constant exposure and being perceived 24/7 is psychological torture. Peop…
It's been a tough time this past week. Last week I finally got around to starting to thrive in Sunny San Diego with a good handful of dates in January and more scheduled, spending time with family, bu…
Thanks. I am just having a hard time because he re-inserted himself in my life, little by little, since September and I caved in December, went out twice, had the best time texting him over Christmas …
Im also with someone with such avoidant tendencies and aren't they the one who are afraid of intimacy? Even before I was in a relationship I started reading about these dynamics and understand it bett…
To be honest, yes, this is probably a factor. She’s admittedly anxious avoidant, and her periodic retreats were a feature during our relationship. I don’t fault her for being who she is, it’s just fo…
I know this is an old post but here’s my FA take.. I have idealized romantic partners in the past. Yes. I don’t do it anymore since I’m married now, older and have a lot more awareness of my patterns…
My partner last night made a huge assumption about me based on her trauma. Without going into too much detail, she was creeped on by a stranger (unbeknownst to me), and then, when I talked about a sex…
# I, 37F, am struggling with boundaries, jealousy, and my 48M partner’s friendship I’m wrestling with complicated feelings about a medicine retreat my partner of 6 months wants me to attend this summ…
I'd do something I'm not particularly interested in to support a partner, but I wouldn't do something that I would actively not enjoy. I definitely wouldn't enjoy spending time with a woman who insu…
Most of the time, they needed neither. They just felt overwhelmed and helplessness and they only coping strategy is to retreat and have surface-level interaction with acquaintances
1. State your rising sign (this is important). Capricorn rising 2. State the sign and degree of your natal Saturn (we much prefer you use the Whole Sign house system, but if you use Placidus, the …
You're on the right track with the 9th and 12th houses — they work together beautifully for this theme. The 9th is your long-distance, foreign-lands, philosophical expansion house, while the 12th rule…
Haha (the best story), thank you for sharing this enlightening information. I'm waiting to be "called upon" for a life-changing spiritual retreat and I'm trying to figure out when it could happen (the…
Wow, yes! Jupiter will transit my 9th house (Virgo in 2027), squaring my 12th house Sagittarius stellium (Sun, Mercury, Uranus, Neptune). 9th house ruler, Mercury not only being in the 12th house but …
I think he ended up hosting retreats/seminars and preying on women there. But I agree, I read the book as a man and its pretty good - it even helped shine a light on some of my own short comings and…
It’s also confusing because he just said yesterday about wanting to take me to see his home country soon (he’s not from US) originally, and im trying really hard not to become avoidant and retreat, bu…
I have done it once and would not do so again. Mine also never filed or moved out from the house with his ex, but I was assured that these things were "all but official" and only "waiting until...[ins…
Next week there is a book fair where my niche cosplay group was supposed to meet up again... but as it seems everyone is scattered across the four days or not showing up at all. Now earlier I was noti…
You need a base of stable attention before working on doing nothing. Ken McLeod who did two three year retreats in the Tibetan system tells a story about doing a retreat where the instruction was “do…
Raves/DJ shows, music festivals, spiritual retreats are all environments you’re likely to come across people who partake. But I would just remain open and you will find your person one way or another.…
Yeah this scenario is what will drive someone toward insanity for an entire lifetime... this reason (amongst many others) is why cheating is blatant abuse. Now you forever question everything, her, yo…
Yeah this scenario is what will drive someone toward insanity for an entire lifetime... this reason (amongst many others) is why cheating is blatant abuse. Now you forever question everything, her, yo…
Yeah this scenario is what will drive someone toward insanity for an entire lifetime... this reason (amongst many others) is why cheating is blatant abuse. Now you forever question everything, her, yo…
Yeah this scenario is what will drive someone toward insanity for an entire lifetime... this reason (amongst many others) is why cheating is blatant abuse. Now you forever question everything, her, yo…
Yeah this scenario is what will drive someone toward insanity for an entire lifetime... this reason (amongst many others) is why cheating is blatant abuse. Now you forever question everything, her, yo…
Yeah this scenario is what will drive someone toward insanity for an entire lifetime... this reason (amongst many others) is why cheating is blatant abuse. Now you forever question everything, her, yo…
You sound burned out and depressed. My Dad was an executive and tough in marriage. He retired and my parents fell in love again. Get into therapy with a seasoned therapist. Someone who works with…
I'm in a similar situation right now minus the kids. My husband is a good man, and we've only been married 2 years, together for 6 1/2 almost 7, but I'm not as happy as I thought I would be. I thought…
Awhh Can we be friends? I’m the same age an went through a lot of the same. I am not married and I don’t have kids, couldn’t figure that one out so at least you have that. I did a lot of meditation…