bad partner

I understand! I think that becoming aware of this wound is already a huge step! :) Now we need to do the work to reparent this inner child. Something I've seen on Instagram, was this: visualize your …

I am solofounder and I love it — Sure, it can get a bit lonely sometimes. But there are a lot of upsides! * Fast execution * Total decision power * Absolute creative freedom * No back and forths on colors or small things * You can s…

No one should suffer because we have trauma. — I see a lot of people accept harmful behavior, because their partner has past trauma, but in my opinion, that is wrong. I know I can come off as harsh sometimes, but we have to have honest conversatio…

DAE feel like they want to be in a relationship but don’t really know how to? Intimacy problems? — I mean in terms of intimacy. When I think about being in a relationship, the concept of having someone in my corner that I can cuddle with, do things with, nurture and support and generally love—that …

Do fearful avoidants "split" or "idealise" and then "devalue" when triggered? Or is it more likely to be a sign of something else? (Eg BPD/NPD?) — I am curious about whether "splitting" is something that is an FA behaviour or if it's a separate issue associated with other mental health disorders. As an FA, do you feel yourself "idealising" or p…

My partner (f34) “quiet quit” our relationship and I (m37) need closure. — We had been together for approximately 4 years. Engaged for the last year. Bought a house. Had big plans to ride off into the sunset together. It was the best 4 years of my life; we were absolutely cr…

Ex spinning narrative — He keeps posting passive aggressive things on his social that are seemingly aimed at me and my character. He’s told mutual friends all the reasons why I was a bad partner, but I was one who broke up w…

I'm a crappy friend, I'm not someone good to be in a relationship with. I want help — Hello, everyone. So, I realized basically that I'm a very bad friend and was a bad partner in my past relationship. I'll list my bad actions both in my relationship and friendship, cuz many of these s…

After many failed attempts for me (31M) to change, my wife (30F) of 7 years has suggested divorce. I want to be better. — My wife and I have been married for 7 years and together for 10. We’ve had our ups and downs throughout but the past few years I have pushed her to her breaking point and she has suggested legitimatel…

Conflict about 3rd kid after an affair (36M/36F) — TLDR I 36M and my ex wife 36F (reconciliation after an affair) are fighting a lot because of an unexpected pregnancy (3rd child). She wants to keep it, I want her to abort. So I (36M) and my girlfrie…

I feel uncomfy that my emotional outlet is chat gpt — (Anyone wanting the gist before reading) TLDR: went to college, have no structure, self destruct, want to get better, idk how honestly. Going to therapy but idk seems pointless, start talking to chat …

Am I (19F) a bad partner if I'm often irritated by my boyfriend's (21M) constant negative emotional state and the feeling that he's not moving forward in life? — I'm 19, and my boyfriend is 21. We've been in a long-distance relationship for about two years. We talk on the phone every night and visit each other whenever possible. He's finishing his studies this…

I (28f) can’t tell if my anxiety is affecting my relationship or if something is actually wrong (Partner 28m) — TLDR: I don't trust my thoughts and feelings and want to know if what I'm going through is a normal couple emotional relationship bump. Summary: I’m in a generally loving relationship, but I struggle…

Am I (28F) overreacting or is my partner (28M) unsupportive? — TLDR: I don't trust my thoughts and feelings and want to know if what I'm going through is a normal couple emotional relationship bump. Summary: I’m in a generally loving relationship, but I struggle…

Update: Be Blunt: Am I (29F) a bad partner to my wife (32F)? — Original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/s/gYsr3GR6N2](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/gYsr3GR6N2) Thank you all for you support last week! Many of you have commen…

[25F] My boyfriend [28M] broke up with me because of constant arguments – but I feel like there were underlying reasons — Hi everyone, I’m 25F and my ex-boyfriend is 28M. We were in a relationship for several months and it recently ended. He broke up with me because I was starting a lot of arguments, often over small th…

I feel like he might be a narcissist — Pretty sure my boyfriend is a narcissist and I don’t know how to process what’s been happening. I’m currently going through losing my soul dog to cancer. This is easily one of the most devastating th…

Why do I negatively fixate on my relationship when I’m not happy in my life — I (30m) feel like I begin to fixate on my relationship (27m) when things are going bad in my life or when I hit a rough patch mentally/emotionally or when I’m feeling stuck or unfulfilled in other par…

If people are being ghosted repeatedly by different people, they need to reevaluate their own behavior, and I will die on that hill. And not just “oh I need to stop picking bad partners that ghost me”…

Short answer is: you won’t ever be able to know, often they don’t even know, and you need to protect your sanity first. Long answer is: don’t monitor what you think your partner wants but instead mo…

Okay I don't know if this is going to be controversial or something but here are my two cents: * *Yes*, building secure attachment means - allowing yourself to have preferences, and not engaging in r…

I’m sorry, it’s a hard place to be in. Especially when you run in the same circles. What she’s doing reflects on why she was a bad partner for you, though. I run into exes a fair bit and I try to keep…

Its pretty easy to read the implication in your comment. Even if you didn't intend it. Lots of people, especially young or immature people, often won't leave a partner they aren't interested in any mo…

I figured that statement was bound to offend someone. Truth is there are good partners and bad partners in life regardless of the gender. My dad was on the male end of that. Some people have their pri…

Fair point. That is the rub. How do we figure out who people are earlier. Sometimes people just changed. My ex and I ended up swapping bad partner characteristics over 33 years. I was absolutely usele…

One way you could work on this might be to channel the energy that goes into your self-punishment and hatred towards doing things, actions and words that show him how much he means to you. Don't thi…

Have your parents ever expressed reservations about your fiancé before? What’s their relationship with her like? If everything has been fine up until this point, I would just tell them you’ve consulte…

I'm confused about why you stuck after the second time. Surely you had enough data at that point to determine that she was a bad partner?

i divorced a man i lost a lot of weight with like that , op.. it broke my heart at the time , i had never been a normal size single before and i remember how lost i felt on my own .. like i didn’t kno…

Man you're thinking way too much, you bought a house and obviously take care of yourself and are responsible. I don't think braces or surgery are going to make you an unattractive/bad partner. If yo…

You said: " I will definitely admit that I neglected the relationship, but never to the point that I was a bad partner." ...unfortunately, it's not you who makes that call and she felt you were a bad …

OP, find someone better. Sounds like you were building for your future while she was dreaming of vacations and chatting up people on WhatsApp. Sounds like she was the bad partner who was unwilling to …

My man, these comments do not pass the vibe check. Bro listen, in life there are going to be times where you have to work harder than you did before. And this means you might not be able to spend as m…

As a husband of 25 years and a dad to 3 girls I am pleading with you to leave this so called man and take time away from dating to find yourself. I understand you carry guilt about having a ex husban…

She asked about you, showed interest in you, wanted to spend time with you, and you didn't That makes you a bad partner. She knows your life goals because she cared to ask, you didn't even seem to c…

It's definitely not all men. I'm a man and sat here reading  > I will definitely admit that I neglected the relationship, but never to the point that I was a bad partner.  And all I could think wa…

YOU thought this was an issue where you were just busy and it was something you needed to work through. Did she share the same pov? Never assume anything. Healthy relationships require an annoying amo…

Sorry but you say that you never got to the point of being "a bad partner" but you still might have been. Go to therapy. It will get better.

He did. He wouldn't do anything with her at night because he was "le tired" so she quit asking. She wanted to travel, he told her to go travel without him. He has no idea what her life ambitions are, …

\> I can see why she became unhappy. I became busy at work right after we bought the house (it’s a fixer-upper). With my job and the house, I will definitely admit that I neglected the relationship, b…

I know a counsellor who's done marriage counselling for lots of couples. She's had many couples where he's like "She just left me" and every single time, without fail, she's like "I've been telling yo…

You admit to neglecting the relationship.. then in the same sentence say being neglectful isn't being a bad partner. Neglect - transitive verb 1. To pay little or no attention to; fail to heed; disr…

Her experience is her experience, and that doesn’t mean what she says is true. However, were you a bad partner in any way? Did you hurt her? Are there things you could take accountability for? Don’t r…

> I can see why she became unhappy. I became busy at work right after we bought the house (it’s a fixer-upper). With my job and the house, I will definitely admit that I neglected the relationship, bu…

As a man with a partner, I have been rude & mean in anger admittedly. But I have never lashed out in an insulting mean way like that, especially when we're not already having a disagreement. I would n…

Ugh how disgusting. "So you were actually hearing what I said all along, you just intentionally didn't listen. It was never about whether or not you could improve & support me, it was that yo…

Sounds like a bad partner. Does he not see you gagging and throwing up? He needs to get his head out of his ass and realize a plain cheeseburger is better than not eating at all. He sounds like an …

There are worse things than leaving a bad partner. Staying with one, for example. 

No but his complete refusal to wear condoms to not get her pregnant for example makes him a bad partner

You shouldn’t have married a man who says anything about your weight outside of if something massive happened and he was genuinely concerned about your health - like if you gained 60 lbs in four month…

this comment makes no sense. The op said "I became busy at work right after we bought the house (it’s a fixer-upper). With my job and the house, I will definitely admit that I neglected the relations…

The thing is, you're complaining about her "quiet-quitting" the relationship at the point where \*she was putting in just as much effort as you were.\* You admit you were neglectful, not hanging out w…

Even if he didn't cheat (and he 1000% cheated, sorry; or came into the relationship with it) he's being horrible to you. Do you want to spend your life having fights where he calls you names, treats …

And is your brother a good/bad partner/parent?

I reconciled more times than Id like to admit. When I finally said 'no more' and proceeded with divorce, I was terrified at how hard it was going to be restarting later in life. I made the leap an…

This reminds me a lot of my husband. He doesn't even acknowledge, yet alone appreciate, how my £20k of inheritance went on keeping us afloat during the pandemic (I was on maternity leave for 9 m…

This isn’t about the toys. This is about him being a bad partner. And you deserve way better than someone who shames you for existing in your own body.

That's a bad partner no matter what your or his stance on children is.

You should feel hurt. He gave you his word that he would take care of something important, then he went back on his word. The things that are important to you have no priority to him. He sounds like a…

What is this relationship doing for you? He is blaming you because it works. He thinks it’s more likely that you will bend to his will than leave him. And if you do he will find another young woman th…

If someone is unable to charitably model the point of view of someone with different politics, I assume that they will be a bad partner when any conflict arises that requires empathy and compromise in…

I think you need to grow up a bit and stop acting like an entitled toddler who can’t have their toy the second they want it. 30 minutes to wakeup is very normal and reasonable, you need to respect his…

If you said he cheated on you, everyone in here would be telling you to leave him because everyone knows that makes you a bad partner. Only thing you would be doing is proving you’re both bad partners…

You shouldn’t expect your boyfriend to support you. If he wants to help, great. But you’re acting entitled to money you didn’t work for. You’re a full grown, able-bodied adult. Get a job and learn h…

Look up the difference between trauma bond & love it might help u snap out of it, it worked for me I broke it off. I've read some of your replies don't punish yourself too much over falling for a toxi…

I don’t think this post makes you sound like a dick at all to start, I appreciate you for engaging at all! I’m not a frequent Reddit poster so I wasn’t expecting anyone to even really see this beyond …

Ok…? They’ve been dating for 3 months and for 1/3 of it he wasn’t consistent at all and cancelled about 1/3 of their total dates. Meeting every Saturday for 2 months and then he cancelled 4 dates. I…