book
Anxiously Attached.
Evidence
Citations (45)
I'm so sorry this happened. It sounds like you were very kind and considerate to him and he did not communicate well with you. You sound like you're in such a vulnerable place. Totaally understandable…
Practicing acceptance while anxiously attached? — Hi all, I don't always see myself as AA, but in one specific friendship, I am definitely anxiously attached. I have felt the same way with former friends, so I definitely know the problem is my attach…
Why do I get upset when bad stuff happens to my partner and it doesn't even impact me? — I'm struggling to understand my pretty intense reactions to certain things. I don't know if attachment theory can help explain this part of my brain. For context: Me (38 F) and partner (44 M) have b…
A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…
How do you move past genuinely anxiety provoking stimuli — No matter how much healing I try to do on my own this is the issue I always come back to. I can get out of my head and stay secure UNTIL something happens that is genuinely, objectively anxiety provok…
Should I reach out to her? — Short version: - Broke up end of October - we were together for a year. - Both were going through intense mental health journeys. - In the meantime, I'm doing/did intense trauma therapy, coaching, and…
Feeling super lost almost 4 months out, Have questions where I need help! — I went through a breakup in December with the woman I genuinely thought I was going to marry. The weird part is that I was not even fully happy in the relationship near the end, and when it first end…
Is this anxious or avoidant behaviour..? — While me and my ex dated he was very anxiously attached. If I didn’t reply for a bit he would text me a million times asking if I’m ok and where I am and he would ask to see me so much and he was very…
I can’t tell if this is anxious or avoidant attachment? — While me and my ex dated he was very anxiously attached. If I didn’t reply for a bit he would text me a million times asking if I’m ok and where I am and he would ask to see me so much and he was very…
What’s this behaviour mean — While me and my ex dated he was very anxiously attached. If I didn’t reply for a bit he would text me a million times asking if I’m ok and where I am and he would ask to see me so much and he was very…
Need advice — While me and my ex dated he was very anxiously attached. If I didn’t reply for a bit he would text me a million times asking if I’m ok and where I am and he would ask to see me so much and he was very…
if someone triggers my attachment system, it's basically the worst. Usually my partners have not done that and I was mostly normal? though the fear of being cheated on has shown up with everyone who …
I think there is a lot of avoidance among parts There were for me also parts that were anxiously attached.
avoidants (especially those that are actively working towards healing and becoming secure) may come off as secure in the beginning of a courtship. until they are met with some triggers which will lead…
I’m in therapy, meditate regularly, exercise, and on Zoloft. All of those tools have been super helpful for my anxiety. However, audiobooks specifically talking about attachment styles have been game …
Your post is a month old with 251~ comments. my reply is probably going to go into the wind. I'm gay so I can't really comment on dating women but I also feel avoidants is super common in the dating p…
Ask ChatGPT to ask you questions to help determine your style. Then when you answer, give a lot of detail about why you answered that way. Before you send your answers, express that you want to know i…
Text of original post by u/Fine_Pineapple_9150: Hi all, I don't always see myself as AA, but in one specific friendship, I am definitely anxiously attached. I have felt the same way with former friend…
Yup, it 100% comes from being anxiously attached. I've never broken up with someone thinking, "they were awkward this one time, I can't be with them anymore." But I wonder if it's like.. the awkward…
What is different? All you've shared shows red flag behaviour, no accountability, no change, etc. I get it. I went back to a guy that dumped me multiple times. Working on my attachment style helped …
I also had terrible spirals where I become like an octopus clutching at him aggressively when I “feel” that he gets distant when in fact, he is just very busy. I would call him incessantly until his p…
I understand where you are coming from and I can understand your anxious behaviour coming about because of this. However, in order to help you feel more secure in yourself, trust yourself to let go. …
I went through a devastating break up three years ago. My ex was a dismissive avoidant. We were in couples therapy before the breakup. I kept seeing the same therapist after the breakup and that’s whe…
My ex dumped me in a cruel-hearted way on September 8 (I’ve written a ton about it in comments and posts in my history if you’re interested), texted me one week later with a chatGPT-written non-apolog…
I am kind of freaking out. I’ve recently begun to talk to someone I met on a dating app with whom I have so much in common. We are both of the same religion, have the same values, similar humor and in…
I have always been the avoidant person as I’ve often dated anxiously attached people. But now that I have a secure/avoidant partner, I’ve become anxiously attached. This is brand new to me and while I…
I want to focus on what you said is your knee jerk response. Explaining that you can’t reply because you’re busy and take time is something worth considering. It’s not justifying yourself, it’s making…
I don’t think I come across as anxious but he has said he has wondered if I was anxiously attached. I think it’s mainly in texting for me. I do try to not double text and let him come to me but someti…
Hi everyone, I’m curious if anyone here with an anxious attachment style has experienced something often called a "phantom ex" (intrusive thoughts, emotional pull, or idealization of a past partner l…
The worst part for me is actually ruining what could’ve been “successful” relationships and having to stare the consequences in the face after that fact, when I felt like I couldn’t even control my ac…
Here’s what I’ll say. Me personally, I think a lot of people that are being called avoidants really aren’t true avoidants with the right person. I strongly believe the avoidants people are met with ar…
There's a certain level of emotional independence two parties need to reach before they can form a healthy relationship with each other. Avoidants tend to have too much emotional independence to the…
I have yet to meet another anxiously attached.
No longer am able to fall in love . Ive been way more avoident than anxiously attached. I throw away friendships and relaitonships easy. Nothing last long. Rarely desire sex anymore . Don’t want kids …
I’m anxiously attached. And tbh, when a ex decided to change AFTER I left him, I was hurt. At the time, it felt like he was changing for the wrong reasons. Why, throughout all the years we were togeth…
I’ve always thought I was anxiously attached. I am just now reading a book about it. I guess all the fear of being rejected would make me push and pull
I kind of went into it assuming it would be more casual because of the age gap. However, knowing myself, I am not good at casual probably partially due to being anxiously attached. I actually don’t wa…
The algorithm can be really brutal for us. I would encourage you to not consume that content and instead talk to a qualified therapist. Professional analysis and advice is very different to what passe…
Have posted before and here I am again. Been dating this guy for a little over 2 months now. We’ve had a good mix of day dates, dinners, activities and sleepovers. We’re both dating with the intention…
Text of original post by u/Musician-Kind: No matter how much healing I try to do on my own this is the issue I always come back to. I can get out of my head and stay secure UNTIL something happens tha…
How about it can be both? I'm entirely sure I love my ex and I have loved him during our 9 years of relationship. But I'm also anxiously attached. It was in the good moments - the moments without fear…
It’s strange bcuz while we dated he was very anxiously attached..
Original copy of post by u/Medi0cre_simracer: Short version: - Broke up end of October - we were together for a year. - Both were going through intense mental health journeys. - In the meantime, I'm …
Often people that can’t handle feelings don’t want to look at themselves, their own feelings, or see themselves as they are. I learned too much about avoidant behavior being married to my ex husband, …
Because finally cutting them off is a fear. No more contact no more control. They may internalize it and reinforce their self loathing. Narcissism stems from low self worth. So either they demand atte…