jealousy

Here is the Law of Attraction answer: Have you seen the Abraham Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale: Joy / Ecstasy Happiness / Satisfaction Optimism Hope Boredom Pessimism Frustration Ang…

Think I found a secure woman, and almost immediately self-sabotaged. — In my social club, there’s a woman who had consistently shown signs that she was into me. I was direct and asked her out. She said she was interested but couldn’t date for a few months because her j…

This is what happens when your FA ex comes back — This is my personal experience for those who are curious. Of course everyone will be different but I thought it might help those who are waiting or wishing (APs I'm talking mostly to you) Firstly the…

For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…

Physical Reaction — I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I really felt a deep connection to, until a f…

Physically Reacting to Jealousy — My first post was about my deep attachment to a former friend who cut things off because she is now my employee. I'm actually making a lot of progress with that. Well my stress level is very manageabl…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

Should I meet up with my ex? — Back in November 2024, I went on a couple of dates with a guy from my friend group, “Frank” (41M now). Looking back, it’s obvious to me that he was a rebound, but I genuinely didn’t realize it at the …

Is this an emotional affair? — I (36F, single), have a good guy friend (40M) who has been dating a new woman for 2 ish months now. Full disclosure I don’t like her very much and I think they’re moving super fast (already saying I …

DA healing update: searching my true self, my inner child finally seen — Some of you may know me at this point. I'm (40M) dismissive avoidant, my wife fearful avoidant (41F), together 17 years, married 13 years, 3 children. I've been working on my attachment style for 5 mo…

Does anyone else feel they can tend to be unsympathetic to those who grew up without emotional neglect? — I feel this often. When I see online posts of someone with a familial problem (I judge as) banal. And pretty often in the PHP group I used to go to. It makes me feel awful and like I’m being unfair to…

As an artist, I now can see the reason I loved art, nature, and music so much growing up was a form of escapism from my emotionally neglectful parents — Can anyone else relate? I think when I was younger, getting lost in a painting or paying attention very closely to the natural world around me would help me find joy in a world where I felt extremely …

Long-term potential? Deep jealousy

I hate my best friends boyfriend and I feel miserable — This is a small rant, but I just need to write it out to a bunch of strangers. Basically, my friend (21F) met her boyfriend (26M) a few months ago. They seemed to click almost instantly, which isn’t a…

dealing with jealousy/comparison — I have a cousin who is one year older than me and I struggle to have a relationship with her because I am jealous. I’ve always felt like we were being compared growing up especially in looks because s…

In love with my (26F) best friend (27M) and it’s killing me — Me and my best friend have only been besties for about 3-4 years, but we grew close extremely quickly. I initially didn’t find him attractive at all, and we were also not single at the time, but aft…

My ex destroyed his life after we broke up — I don’t even know why I’m writing this, but everything has escalated so much that I just need to get this off my chest. I (33F) was in a relationship for more than 14 years with my ex, let’s call him…

My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 duodenum cancer today. — I am 23. Dad is 53. Just 2 weeks back everything in our lives was so great. Just 2 weeks back, he had told me he plans to live another 50 years. Just 3 weeks back, My sister had said "Thank God for ho…

My (32M) wife’s (29F) jealousy is getting worse and is affecting my friendships and work. What should I do to help her get real help without losing myself? — My wife (29F) and I (32M) have been together almost 5 years and married for 1. I love her, I am committed to this marriage, and I do not want to leave. What I want is for her to get real help for this…

Why are koreans so class/status conscious? — \*\* here, 'koreans' mean korean-koreans or first gen korean immigrants, not korean americans who tend to be more chill in my experience. I'm a first gen immigrant. I'm posting it here in a hope to ge…

Feeling some type of way after 2 years — It’s been two years since he broke up with me and five months since we’ve been completely no contact. I was feeling so good and didn’t really think about him up until two months ago. About two months …

3 months of no contact and I still can’t let go. What should I do? — I’m Mia (20 y.o) and I have clinical depression. My ex Daniel (19 y.o.) and has the same diagnosis. English is my second language, so sorry if something is hard to read, an also sorry for such a huge…

I still miss her after months of bettering myself — We broke up at the end of November. She (22) left me (21), and I couldn’t let go. For a full month, I kept trying to win her back, texts, calls, the works. Then I booked a flight to her city, determin…

I want to text my ex everyday — I broke up with my ex about 7 months ago. And I know people are going to assume that I’ve had my fun and now I want my ex back but that isn’t the case. We were together for about a year and a half and…

Jealousy over friend's parents — Just came back from a hangout and cant help but to think how loving and secure the environment that my friend's parents established for them. All I can do is wish, wish wish. I want to get out so bad …

I(M27) don't know what to do about long-term relationship I'm not longer feeling like I'm 100% into with girlfriend(F25) lately. — Lately I (M27) have been feeling like I'm just not into the relationship with my gf (f25) anymore. We argue a lot and she has a history of being very jealous even though I've never given her a reaso…

What would a stoic say to combat “jealousy” (ex: someone I love involved with someone else) ? — How would Seneca, Marcus Aurelius or just anyone following stoicism would suggest if you don’t want to live with “jealousy”. A crush in a romantic relationship with someone else, basically Thanks

Friendship Toxicity — I used to have a friend of 10 years who would constantly put me down but then pass it off as a joke (she did this to no one else). I could never understand why she’d say the most backhanded things to …

I hate children so much(tw child abuse — I know I can’t say out loud irl and I know it’s unacceptable in society That hating children is a malice of society It’s just feeling it doesn’t lead to any action I named that hatred, discussed fo…

I’m intensely triggered by my partner’s younger sister and I hate what it brings out in me — I need to say something ugly and I’m hoping someone here will understand rather than just tell me to “work on my self-esteem.” My boyfriend has younger sisters, and one of them especially triggers so…

My story of confusion - need advice — In early 2024, I met a woman from another country, and we embarked on a long-distance relationship that initially felt like a rare, once-in-a-lifetime connection. For the first two months, we were in …

HELP ME UNDERSTAND — Hi everyone, I've been reading a lot about the subject and i'm also in therapy since 3 months. I'm already non in the relationship with this woman but i sort of need to make clarity and hear other…

I (M29) was in a 6.5 year relationship with woman(F26) who had dismissive-avoidant attachment + severe ADHD + bad PMDD. I thought I was the problem for years, but now I'm starting to see it differently. Am I the asshole for feeling like I 'won' even though I got dumped? — Hey everyone, I just got dumped after 6.5 years with my ex (let's call her A). I'm posting here because my head is spinning with mixed feelings — relief, sadness, guilt, and surprisingly, some real h…

I ruined my relationship with jealousy and clinginess, is there any way back? — We broke up in March because I struggled a lot with jealousy and became too clingy, especially around her male friends. She told me she couldn’t handle my insecurity anymore and ended things. After th…

Thoughts 3months post discard. — Its been 3 months since i was discarded by my cheating, lying, gaslighting, manipulative, psychotic, evil, pos boyfriend, who love bombed and promised enough to keep me so hooked because he knew i was…

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. — Me \[28M\] and Lea \[26F\] have been seeing each other for exactly 3 months now. We met through hinge back in the first week of January and had an explosive first date which ended in us sleeping toget…

My mother was a teacher. She understood children. She used that against me. — Before my sister was even born, my mother sat me down and did something I didn't have a word for until recently. She walked me through every single feeling I was going to have when the baby arrived. …

I successfully manifested my celebrity crush, but now something went wrong — Hey everyone 🥹 I already have experience with manifestation, and so far I’ve always gotten what I wanted. There’s this band I have loved all my life, and a few days ago I saw them live and actually…

Nostalgia is now another form of grief — You know that scene in Inside Out 2 when "Nostalgia" comes out for a few seconds? I remember when I watched that movie, I laughed and turned to my husband and said, "She is at the center console for m…

Need advice navigating ldr in college — I(18F) have been with my boyfriend (18M) for almost two years now. We both had to move away from home for college last year in August and we get to see each other after 3-4 months. When we first start…

why are asian parents like this — ​ Me (filipino 20M) and my gf (italian 21M) we've been together for almost 3 years. We were both born and raised in Italy, and living in two different cities. We had some ups and downs during …

Jealousy is Ugly — I'm a jealous girlfriend and don't want to be anymore. I go to therapy, talk to my boyfriend openly, and he's great about it (and all of my feelings). He's a good listener, and when he responds, is op…

How can I do better — My Story — A Journal Entry Where It All Began I grew up in a joint family — grandparents, cousins, relatives all around. On the surface, there was warmth and togetherness. But my immediate family wa…

I ruined my relationship with jealousy and clinginess, is there any way back? — Here's the actual post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/66OsVZaAlI (His situation is similar to mine, but the only helpful comment he got didn't reply to any questions) I ruined my relationship …

I was the crazy one — I ruined, with my inseucrity and jealousy. The things I've done are beyond stupid. I don't deserve her, or anybody. I might check for Borderline Personality Discorder. I feel like shit, why am I t…

I 19M have people constantly talking bad about me and my 20F gf — It’s been a long going thing with people who are all males and are all around 1-4 years older than me all I think out of jealousy chatting bad about my gf and being rude and horrible about her and to …

Anyone else have their exes family member(s) add their previous ex to their social media shortly after you were blindside dumped? — I’m just posed this question as I’ve been thinking a lot for the past year after I was blindside dumped by my ex. I may be just paranoid or overthinking. But it all seemed so weird. I can give more de…

Please give me some advice on this — This is gonna be a long story, so bear with me. I will add some background to make things as clear as possible for you guys. I'm in my late 20s now, my first and last serious relationship which laste…

Trust issues, how do I deal with them? — My boyfriend (22M) and I (23W) have been together for a little more than half a year now. Before that, we were best friends for years, which means we actually have a pretty solid foundation for our bo…

(TW TALK OF ABORTION) Re-upload as don’t think it posted last time, very new to this so please bear with me. Looking for real advice :) — I (20F) and my boyfriend (27M) have been dating for 2 years. In January of this year I had to get an abortion due to miscommunications and medical negligence from my doctors/hospital telling me I wasn…

Intuition or anxiety? — My boyfriend m26 and I f24, been together almost two years. I don’t know what to do, stay or break up. I have constant anxiety in an otherwise good relationship. I’m really confused and would love t…

What does that look like??? Find a new hobby. Anything. Try learning to knit. Learn to build robots. Take a class in 17th century blacksmithing. Join a woodworkers guild. Join an improve troupe. Volu…

I totally agree that there is a general trend to project personal issues and give drastic advice, especially since... well, it's not your life. I particularly notice it when it comes to fear of a par…

I am in a similar position to you OP. I've been seeing my fiancée for over 2 years. We live separately due to circumstances at her end, and we see each other roughly once a week, usually at weekends…

I see where you’re coming from and can understand why it’s hard to see such vilification of FAs. However, just because it may have been difficult for him to express his feelings doesn’t mean that his …

Not at all. He was interested until he saw her with someone else .. he made assumptions then made a self sabotage attempt or a reach out for clarity over jealousy. At this point, his anxiety is showin…

Yes, she seems avoidant and when OP showed jealousy/distress that she was leaving with someone else she finally got the validation she needed to feel brave enough to go on a date/OR she knew she could…

Why would an avoidant push me away, but then orbit me for almost 2 years — even while committed to someone else? I feel ashamed for being stuck on this.. I (32F) had a short but intense connection wi…

I don’t know you or your whole story or your life. But it kinda sounds to me like your 2 year old is just going through a totally normal adjustment period for being 2 and now having a baby brother. Sh…

It’s possible that this is a compatibility problem. But you are also personalizing his extroversion as if it has something to do with you. Like you are not good enough and that is why he gives other p…

I'm anxiously attached to a friend of mine who broke up with her longtime partner 4 months ago. I made the mistake of telling her 2 months ago that I have feelings for her. I'm not sure now if I reall…

I shared this with my therapist eons ago. I don't remember what she said. I concluded that it's because friendship has flexible rules and have stood the test of time. For instance, friendship is a man…

Wow! That is so insightful! Holy heck, why isn't this comment at the top?! That makes so much sense that it kind of hurts a little. And, to be up front, the only way I've ever been able to feel "heale…

Hey all—seeking some empathy & advice. My partner is, I believe, avoidant and very quiet/an internal person/processor. This naturally leads to some anxiety in me when they’re not super present. Wh…

My ex and I broke up 7 months ago.. we never fought and his reasoning was he felt we were too different (we were together for 2 years).  I was crushed... he stated he felt he needed to end it so that …

Text of original post by u/upernikos: I will try to keep the backstory short. I had not known anxious attachment was a thing or that one of my coworkers had become one of only a couple people I reall…

There are so many questions to be asked here that it's hard to give you any advice. Are any of these connections romantic? Is that where the jealousy is coming from? If so, do you have a significant…

she was actively pursuing a career with a coach whom she presumably had a great working relationship with. it was her present when she met you. i don't think you're wrong for being uncomfortable or ha…

to be clear, i never told her to. I didn't tell her what to do at all. My jealousy was mine to deal with, which i should have done by walking away. (And i would have if she had told me sooner! We coul…

Text of original post by u/upernikos: My first post was about my deep attachment to a former friend who cut things off because she is now my employee. I'm actually making a lot of progress with that. …

Okay so what I am seeing is that your work culture has become toxic. And her changing the status of the friendship was a breaking point or maybe just when it all came to a head and was brought more pa…

I appreciate this. My mind and body continue to tell me it’s exactly jealousy of being left out, & when I’m extra sensitive, it comes up other times too. But really - why do I care? Makes me crazy. Pa…

39F, I test secure leaning anxious. I don't get anxiety in a relationship - none of the 'typical' things people think of like jealousy, or questioning my partners love. But I only have had relationshi…

I feel really immature for writing this: I try to figure out how to deal with mixed feelings of longing/jealousy, which creeps up on me sometimes. I feel jealous of my friends who are happily engaged…

So let’s see…you are in a long distance relationship that barely feels like a relationship unless you are having sex….and they talk about other women a lot and they seem to disregard your feelings on …

Jealousy is something that is extremely common in long distance relationships. You have to have open communication with that person and remind yourself that if this is what you really want, work for i…

I am a 65 year old professional man, happily married to another man 25 years. Recently I started reaching out to make more straight "bro" friends because I really don't like the gay scene, (gay men ta…

The anxious behavior strategies are fairly more obvious. >C1 (Threateningly Angry): They use anger to coerce attached figures into proving care and comfort. >C2 (Disarmingly Desirous of Comfort): Co…

I do understand, and like i said, great work so far. Not detracting from that all! Like i said though i think its hard to simply extrapolate these results into a relationship, because a relationship …

Hi all, probably grasping at straws as a dumper who *had* to leave because my ex kept displaying really unhealthy behaviour linked to his anxious attachment (jealousy, picking fights, lying, manipulat…

After therapy yesterday, I got to listen to my FA soul sister. We each have our own struggles. I find it sad that in our corner of the world, it's just so easy to give up on healing-- family is inse…

My last relationship was an open relationship, since my ex is poly. It really helped working through my jealousy issues, but I didn't feel the need to look for someone else when I was with her at all.…

Never felt so seen in my life. But I beg to differ. You might be too guarded to feel these grand, overflowing feelings of limerence but you do care and you do love. Maybe you need to lower your expect…

what a difference of a week 😅 i have been talking on and off with a lady that i have a lot of things in common with since november, we tried meeting up in december but it didn’t work out. we went ou…

All posts are manually reviewed before being approved for posting. This usually takes less than an hour, though it can take longer depending on moderator availability. While you wait for your post to …

Maybe you just need more time to process? I’m also coming out of a very fresh break up and swiping is so hard. I feel like I’m not attached to anyone. I am upfront on my profile that I’m not looking f…

I recommend googling “retroactive jealousy” and see if any of that feels familiar

The idea that people have "types" that are static or in any way relevant to their current relationship based on a past relationship = retroactive jealousy Her exes have nothing to do with you, mean n…

# I, 37F, am struggling with boundaries, jealousy, and my 48M partner’s friendship I’m wrestling with complicated feelings about a medicine retreat my partner of 6 months wants me to attend this summ…

>Are you okay being the point of contention in someone's romantic relationship? I will say that this friendship seems close enough that OP would end up a point of contention in most relationships thi…

OH we both definitely have moments where we get very anxious and need lots of reassurance and sometimes we even fight and don't rest until the fight is resolved because we are still activated and driv…

The jealousy thing is worth taking seriously not because you're doing anything wrong, but because daily hour-long phone calls and weekly hangouts is a lot of one-on-one time with someone of the opposi…

This is my first time being in a proper romantic relationship. Those skits about hetero couple/married life I've encountered before? Yeah I finally get them now. Unfortunately as it turned out, some o…

This is spot on and is one of the fundamental reasons why some people experience intense retroactive jealousy. The perception they have of their partner is dependent on how everyone else sees them and…

Official as of last night -- went no contact with the person I can't get over. I spotted her with a guy at a bar and the flash of yearning and jealousy (an *extremely* rare emotion for me) was so, …

Try the retroactive jealousy podcast by Zack stockhill

But it is not their business. You decide when you are ready to date. This jealousy is not going to go away.

Continue to talk to her, and be yourself. Don't show your jealousy and don't get too attached to her because she is giving you attention either. Your best bet is to just ask her at some point casual…

I (21F) feel very jealous and am worried about making him (22M) feel smothered. For context, this is my first real relationship, nobody ever asked me out or anything growing up. Me and my boyfriend h…

Yuck I’m sorry that she treated you that way. It’s annoying how people in relationships almost pity some single folks. Perhaps it’s jealousy.

Wow, what an awful situation. I really feel for you OP, and it’s so clear that you’re trying to make the right moves and continue to grow and heal here so big kudos to you for that. \> “you used to d…