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phantom ex
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Hi everyone, I’m curious if anyone here with an anxious attachment style has experienced something often called a "phantom ex" (intrusive thoughts, emotional pull, or idealization of a past partner l…
How to be comfortable in new, developing relationships without devaluing them for not being as deep as a past relationship (phantom ex?) — After many months of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that one of the things that made my past relationship so special is the fact that it was the first time I had ever been in touch with someone…
I am in the same boat. Had my FA (maybe DA? I never knew about attachment theory until her. She was extremely committed and IN. LOVE. for 2 years and was much more anxious and attached. Then she was j…
These are all classic avoidant attachment distancing techniques. Your latest crush is a form of a phantom ex.
By ‘phantom ex,’ I mean that the most recent crush is serving as an idealized image of someone they can never have, which makes it easier to compare others to this unrealistic standard. It’s common in…
Haha...the only link I have sent him recently, for real, is a link to my Amazon wish list to get my apology gift. I've talked to him before about it and he's not willing to do the work or go to therap…
This could be off base but I kind of get the vibe that this is akin to the “phantom ex” FAs sometimes employ, except .. forward looking instead of back. I think you did well not giving the new girl y…
The fact that she brought it up so early, to me, is a green flag. Those who have been repeatedly hurt by FAs would say it’s a green flag in a sea of red, but IMO to be able to openly have discussions …
Thank you for your comments. Can I ask you: you say “she misses you even now…” as if she is still hung up on him? Is this a situation you’re in? Is this a common FA characteristic? I’ve heard of the…
Hm, not really no. An FA will be able to feel the wall that is up with a DA and a DA probably won't be able to feel the wall that is up for the FA. So, the FA won't be able to 'feel' any love from a D…
Every person in a committed relationship settled for someone good enough. If you are thinking about something maybe being better around the corner, or a phantom ex, that's your avoidance.
I am very attracted to my partner most days. I am fearful avoidant that has historically leaned more dismissive (although now more secure) and I am hyper sexual. Repulsion returns and I don’t feed int…
Thankfully I became aware if attachment theory after being discarded by an FA out of nowhere when things were going well and it led me to finally realise I was an FA also. I would start out AA and onc…
Because some avoidants they understand their issue and how they hurt other person and how much they miss this person but - they dont want to take accountability. Their biggest issue is not being avoi…
Lets be honest, most people here aren't doing no contact to heal, they are doing it to get their exes back. I don't necessarily agree with the shame part, especially with avoidant attachment style exe…
Taking her to the same ski resort shows they're basically trying to recreate the relationship they had with you, but with a new person. Classic avoidant behaviour. Good luck, you're on your way becomi…
What’s the “phantom ex”?
Really.... He was so cold when we split. I broke NC once reaching out but his response was so indifferent that I assumed he’d moved on completely. It’s not that I want to be a "phantom ex" but it just…
This exact thing happened to me about 4 1/2 weeks ago in a 2-year relationship. As a recipient of this, it does bring me some comfort that she still loved and cared about me. I do feel some resentment…
I am not a DA, but an anxious attachment style. But I do know that often DAs will romanticize a past relationship, and compare all future relationships to it. It’s called the Phantom Ex phenomenon. …
The phantom ex amalgamation is such truth. You’ll even experience comparing the worst parts of a current relationship to all the worst parts of all previous relationships. Current insecurity reminds…
I remember when we were seeing each other, (after the first time we broke up) and his best friend told me that he didn’t understand why he did that considering he would speak about me all the time. Hi…
Definitely sounds like you are the Phantom Ex or perhaps the “one who got away” in the sense they will always idealize you and the meaning of your role in their life. I think they fixate and store eve…
I can't answer so much about running into an ex as that hasn't happened, but, >Do DAs tend to carry old relationships in more detail than they let on, even if they never reach back out? A great many…
He is using her to keep emotional distance from you, She is phantom ex. He 100% had a relationship with her but she is not into him as he is into her and she uses him to keep emotional distance from h…