book
On Attachment
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They do come back from this but it's so so so hard 💔 I went through an avoidant discard. There was no writing on the wall, 2 very happy years. He used to say he sees us being together forever becau…
Question to anxious/avoidant couples — I’m a dismissive avoidant in recovery I’ve been working on myself since October’23 I read a lot of self help books, went to therapy, watched youtube videos on attachment, listened to On Attachment,…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
READ THIS if you want to POST here — This is a new thread with the SAME GUIDELINES as the previous post which is now archived. THIS THREAD IS ONLY FOR APPROVAL TO POST. You don’t have to be an approved user to comment or lurk. ONLY som…
The pain of being unmet... — I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But where I fall apart easily is when I don't. I …
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
Input wanted — avoidants, what has helped you heal? — Hi everyone! This is my first post here. I’m looking to hear from other avoidants what, specifically, has helped you heal (more detail than just “therapy”). I’ve known for a while that I’m avoidant, b…
I am ready for the next chapter... Healing is very much possible, and if you need a gentle push to do it, do read this post! — Heya! So, this might be my last post here for a while, these past months were really heavy and useful, I talked to a lot of people around here, they helped me immensely, and I'd like to believe I hel…
My mom brought up reducing my therapy sessions and I’m kind of falling apart over it — I’m 20 years old and I’m having a really hard time with something related to therapy, and honestly I feel kind of embarrassed by how deeply it’s affecting me. My mom recently asked me if I could star…
situationship that lasted almost two years chose someone else over me, yet i still decided to date him — Hey guys, i would like to get some advice from you on how to work on attachment issues so i could avoid **this kind of thing** happen to me again. I am very mentally exhausted honestly. I (26F) …
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Introduction, Valuable Healing and Attachment resources — # Hi, and welcome! It is a pleasure to have you with us. Please come as you are, we encourage you to share openly and vulnerably. If you do not wish to share and just browse, you are welcomed here to…
Thank you. This research at least is not wedded to what is seems to me to be a very over simplified model. I've just read the abstract and will chew through the rest of it. Then look at what else …
Well, I could read several books on attachment theory and the words made sense but I couldn’t put it into practice. I was an Anxious Preoccupied and reading about how I had a fear of failure, rejectio…
Correct me if I’m wrong, but your comment has me confused from the tons of reading I’ve done on attachment styles. Am I missing something?
I would put money on him being a FA because a DA wouldn’t be so emotionally vulnerable and forthright by expressing his feelings upfront without any prompting in a new relationship. A DA is not in tou…
Also tiktok has amazing content on attachment styles!! There are profiles dedicated to FA
I’m in agreement with you (upvoted lol!). Yes, sad to see all the FA bashing. His text and reaching out with attempts for reconciliation are showing he wants the relationship but doesn’t have the know…
I would say becoming self-aware, reflecting about own unhealthy tendencies and applying secure behaviours definitely does something good however point of your comment is by my understanding that earne…
Watch this from Julie Menanno who has put together couples therapy that she’s been doing for a while successfully based on attachment theory. My wife and I watched this, then bought her book, then s…
You never took a long break from each other so ofc it was the same cycles. Also it takes years to work on attachment issues. They don't just change in a few months time. In regards to relationsh…
Yeah a very odd thing for a therapist to say. Uh no being condescending is not a trait of secure at all. Agree with the other comment - i think good to read up on attachment styles because i think you…
Hey. There's a lot there. It sounds like you just want more connection with your partner and also to know that they aren't going away. If the digital self harm is making you feel worse, perhaps try no…
That's me.. my therapist who wrote her thesis on Attachment Theory pegged me as "Disorganized Avoidant." And it tracks... for me, I run when I fear being rejected, and have anxious behaviors leading …
What are your tools to regulate and/or reflect before, during, and after the date? It sounds like right now you're freezing and/or avoiding because you can't regulate the anxiety after the date. Tha…
Hmm I guess that I don't really get too much anxiety before or during the date. If anything I'm usually decently excited to meet the person. After the date though, the negative emotions are pretty ove…
Well, it is a book that essentially expands on attachment and shifts the focus to behavior patterns instead of 'styles.' It acknowledges that people use attachment behavior strategies towards attached…
I haven't read a ton on attachment theory, but I've listened to hours upon hours of videos from Heidi Priebe (love her), Thais Gibson, and Teal Swan. I recently watched one of Teal Swan's vids on emot…
Do you have health insurance? A lot of therapists accept health insurance. Mine was only $15 a visit with mine. There's also income based/sliding scale community clinics that offer affordable or even …
There are free guided meditations on attachmentrepair.com. A lot of them are “ideal parent” meditations in which you imagine an ideal parent (instead of the ones you had) taking care of you when you w…
this is the pendulum swing most people don’t talk about you go from hyper-vigilant to hyper-permissive, thinking that’s growth. it’s not. it’s overcorrecting. healing isn’t about overriding your inst…
this isn’t about them it’s about the chemical storm your brain fires when it senses rejection or replacement your body’s not wrong - it’s just conditioned every time you saw “connection” disappea…
I think observing yourself is part of it. Postpone impulses Read everything you can on attachment
Hi! Sure, this is my own healing journey, nothing more, nothing less. Everything here comes from sources that I have listed, I relied on their status in the scientific community and didn't go as far a…
you don’t owe a matching emotional pitch, but you do owe *clarity* if you care about the friendship what APs hear in silence is abandonment what they can tolerate in words is gentle truth somethi…
yeah this is textbook anxious attachment cleanup in chaotic relationships, sex = survival you used it to keep closeness, delay rejection, feel wanted now you’re safe - so the urgency’s gone an…
Heidi Priebe's YouTube channel on attachment styles is wonderful. [Why We Recreate Childhood Dynamics In Our Adult Relationships (& How To Stop)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7HCJoHVmf0)
Same! It was the best resource on attachment I've found. It helped me understand on a deep level why I was acting in ways that seemed so illogical and shameful. When I read it I was in a repetitive cy…
I know this is an old post, I was searching FA on this sub and yours really piqued my interest. I don’t think I was ever that much of a FA except for when I was a teenager, I had childhood trauma and …
Podcast: On Attachment Youtube: Heidi Preib You can google books on anxious attachment and codependency if you have codependency issues
Sorry to say but probably you will not become secure while dating insecure.. but this is me talking about my own experience ;). Try to find a way together and both work on attachment in therapy, than …
hi! I am a new comer here. my name is lexi. I have been in therapy the past two months trying to work on my anxious attachment as it’s been hard. my ex partner of 5 years broke up with me a little ove…
read about your attachment, "attached" is a good book to start with. read articles, watch YouTube videos. Jimmy on Relationships makes great videos about attachment dynamics. Therapy if you can affo…
You Tube Craig Kenneth, he is an expert on attachment theory and relationships.
[sociosexual behavior and attachment styles ](https://psychopediajournals.com/index.php/ijiap/article/download/975/704/1781?utm) [communication in attachment styles ](https://www.mdpi.com/2411-5118/5…
Text of original post by u/Kyuuki_Kitsune: I'm never sure whether to consider myself anxiously attached, or mostly secure, because I generally do fine if I feel really loved in my relationship. But wh…
This is fascinating thank you. And firstly I just want to say I relate on many levels. I have actually run workshops on attachment and yet still found myself in situations similar to this, except she …
Very happy to share :) A few years ago I worked with a life coach to work on self-esteem and managing/setting boundaries. I still touch base with her when I need 1:1 support. After the avoidant discar…
The dismissiveness in a dismissive avoidant is towards the self. Like I said, read Dr. Crittendens work on attachment. Her book assessing adult attachment is very good at explaining what attachment i…
My information comes from the DMM. Based off what OP wrote, they don't align with what's classified as a Type A attachment in the DMM. I'd recommend reading Dr. Crittenden's work on attachment if yo…
Sorry you feel so bad read up on attachment disorders in boulder like attached Stephanie Pitt has a podcast that is very helpful
Because blaming things that are common sense on attachment styles is something yall need to correct in yourself. It isn’t an anxious attachment thing to expect consistent communication and acting like…
There is no direct correlation between low cognitive empathy and anxious attachment. I could not find a study that explicitly drew that conclusion. Studies do report that securely attached people show…
(Let me know if my replying is offensive to you and I'll delete it) I just want to say, I agree so bad and this is why I avoid topics on attachment on tiktok and some wounded subreddits as well as Yo…
Assessing Adult Attachment by Dr. Crittenden was a really validating book for myself personally. It isn’t really a self-help book though. But if you have a curiosity on attachment that is more in ali…
Hi!! I highly recommend these: For core wounds and relationships : 📚Mathew Micheletti and 3 more The Inner Work of Relationships: An Invitation to Heal Your Inner Child and Create a Conscious R…
Oh boy. I hate this feeling. You might read up on attachment theory for romantic relationships (I have mixed feelings on pop psychology, but many people find it helpful). The only thing I can say i…
I think your best bet is to find a specialist focused on attachment, so you can see yourself in real time, how you relate to other people and "fix" issues as they arise.
First, I’m not a therapist of course, so… grain of salt. But here’s my take. Look up thesecurerelationship on instagram, they are a great account with a lot of information on attachment styles, the p…
Hi I previously recommended these to someone so will copy and paste it here Book on understanding and healing trauma : 📚The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma…
I didn't do any therapy, but I discussed my situation a lot on Reddit and answered many questions about my experience as a DA, which helped me a great deal in terms of understanding myself. My discuss…