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I do a lot of masking at work (black, female, young, autistic) and I feel like my very being is not aligned with what profressionalism demands. Even the natural hair I'm born with is not seen as work …
Can we talk about how bad the current Shopify Admin UI is? — How has this continued to be a thing, and how did this get approved internally? The Shopify Admin UI is a complete mess. It's genuinely hard to believe this shipped — and worse, that it's still the c…
Webflow or Framer? — Which one do you personally prefer? And which one objectively has more potential in the long run/in which one can you do more than in the other right now? And how much steeper is the learning curve fo…
Time Tracking App for Productivity Freaks (web app, mobile / desktop) — Hi guys, first time posting in this sub! and first time finally getting a project to a point where I think other people can use it. (Usually I'll build, then half way through just stop) .. I'm callin…
What's your marketing strategy? — If you want to supercharge your sales, you need a robust sales funnel to convert prospects into buyers. And this includes creating killer content which will help move your prospect down the funnel. …
FA trying to be more secure, need some insigh on relationship to have "fresh eyes" on it and not just my insecure one — Hi, So, I'm FA and my partner is secure. We're living together and are together for 9month now, it's going good and we're doing our best in the healthiest way to navigate the complicated stuff (I hav…
Attachment Theory & Free Will? — Dear all, I'm very intrigued by the relationship between attachment theory (&, I supposed, any psychological theory) & free-will. They seem to me to slightly conflict. Certainly, it is a difficult p…
Feeling bad after dates? — I asked my friends for some advice regarding how to attempt to move my attachment style in a more secure direction, and one of them said that for them, going out on dates really helped them, especiall…
I’m not sure how to process this. Idk if it’s my Anxious Attachment style acting up or if I’m being objective — Thoughts on finding this text exchange on my girlfriends phone? she was with a group of friends and at a bar and I guess she started talking to some guy there. I’m brown, she’s not referring to me wh…
I’m genuinely confused by the adverse effects since starting to do the programming — Yeah yeah, I’m one of those. I have been on a SP mission for almost three months now. We started in a semi okay place, even though it’s a long distance thing and I’m programming for us to be in a rela…
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…
What is even going on? — I (45f) have been single and dating for a a little over a year now, and there have been some frustrating patterns emerge that I just can’t make sense of. So I’m curious if anyone else out there has. A…
Does anyone else feel like this fixation on "trauma dumping" stinks of toxic positivity? — It literally feels like the onus is on people with really challenging life experiences, to hold that all inside and only talk about good things, for fear of burdening people who have objectively bette…
Ingo Swann, did anyone experience something similar to what he did? — I want to be careful here because I’m not trying to promote pseudoscience. At the same time, I’ve had some dreams in my life that have turned into reality exactly as I saw in the dream, so I’m open-mi…
Have you experienced your progressed retrograde mercury going direct or witnessed it in others and what was it like? — Have you experienced your progressed retrograde mercury going direct or witnessed it in others and what was it like? Either if you/ the person in question were born with a retrograde mercury or it pro…
Revision is where it's at. — People say that revision works faster and this is my experience as well. I'm a fairly good manifestor but there were a few things I was stuck on, namely my height. I carried a bit of disappointment …
Why are people such sheep when it comes to drugs? — People seem to just accept things, unthinking, unquestioning. This person I was debating with said "Well people can just die instantly from MDMA" and I said that's just false. That doesn't happen, not…
Despite every effort, I'm developing feelings for my boss. Am I cooked? — I know. Yikes. I usually have a protocol for these things - find out they have a partner or find the worst possible photo of them on the internet and change their contact photo to that. Unfortunately …
After 10 years of doing the most, I (30F) told my husband (34F) that we needed counseling or separation. Help me process? — I met my husband when I was a 20 year old college student and even though he is 4 years older than me, I became a pseudo-mother upon meeting him. For the last 10 years, I have been the sole breadwin…
My little sister's best friend confessed to me — e\*\*TL;DR; : My little sister's best friend confessed to me and I don't want to hurt her feelings\*\*. I (21M) was visiting my parents when my sister and her best friend (18F) pulled me aside and po…
My boyfriend is way more attractive and out of my league — I stepped out of the shower and saw my boyfriend had sent me a shirtless pic- he has that David Laid physique- all lean, muscles and abs. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. The comparison hit me a…
Religion might be trapping people in their own hell 💀 — We know that assumptions and beliefs create our reality. Think about people throughout history who did absolutely horrific things, yet genuinely believed they were doing the right thing in the name o…
Whats the most hurtful thing a parent/caretaker has said to you? — “I feel sorry for the man that ends up with you” -my Dad on multiple occasions in different words Ive been told shitty things a lot, OBJECTIVELY worse things (especially from my dad) but this one st…
Schopenhauer's cessation of striving and Marcus Aurelius's cognitive clearing: is there a Stoic equivalent of deliberate emptying before decision-making? — Schopenhauer argues that the continuous striving of the individual will produces only horizontal progress, and that the complete cessation of that striving opens a qualitatively different kind of perc…
Anxious (me) + Avoidant (her) breakup — still stuck after 1 year, need honest perspectives — Hey everyone, I really need some honest advice. I’ll try to explain this clearly. I was in a 2-year relationship where I now see a strong anxious (me) + avoidant (her) dynamic. Looking back, I also …
Just trying to gain closure on my own... — This is something I wrote in my journal, trying to process emotions and gain closure. Lori, Since you would not give me the opportunity for closure, I'm going to do what I can to get it here. This…
One Sentence Encheiridion (1-15) — I was rereading the Enchieridion and decided to try and summarize each passage in a single sentence. This was a fun activity, let me know if I should share more. 1. The only thing fully up to you are…
The moment when everything clicked after the discard. Does this pattern strongly point to NPD? — Hey everyone. After a recent brutal and totally blindsiding discard by someone who I thought loved me, Im trying to understand what I experienced (almost 1 year relationship and attempt at reconnectio…
Overarching Energy of the Libra Full Moon on April 1st, 2026 — This Full Moon is all about our responsibility when it comes to our relationships. We are reminded to balance what is external, creating harmony without sacrificing self. The solution isn’t about “we…
How do you not care about what your parents say to you? ex. medical judgement? — I've been sick bad for the past year. I might have been vitamin deficient before, but there is some issue where my body has stopped absorbing certain vitamins. I found out i was iron, d, and b12 defic…
April 03, 2026 - Weekly FAQ and Beginner Q&A Thread | If you are new to Neville, please post your questions here! How do I manifest X? What does Y mean? — Feel free to ask any type of question on this thread. More importantly, feel free to answer questions that have been asked! Additionally, please refrain from posting multiple questions in the subredd…
lost my friend and my money and my crush likes to play games with me — Idek where to start because everything feels like it’s collapsing at once i got scammed and i feel stupid and worthless. i was just trying to sell my laptop on Dubizzle, and for once someone didn’t t…
Bless Another—Bless Yourself — Hi everyone, So today I'd like to talk about a nice situation I manifested for someone else. **Context** For a long time, my mom's husband has tried to build his own business and also to purchase o…
AI is your friend. — I am an expat in a foreign land, and fell in love with a delightful woman here. The first month was glorious and beautiful, but soon after she began exhibiting many of these traits (before I even knew…
Please give me a piece of advice — they’re making me think I’m crazy — Hi everyone, I’m (29M) reaching out because I feel completely stuck in a pretty toxic family situation and could really use some perspective. I grew up in a very traditional household where "respect …
How do you move past genuinely anxiety provoking stimuli — No matter how much healing I try to do on my own this is the issue I always come back to. I can get out of my head and stay secure UNTIL something happens that is genuinely, objectively anxiety provok…
Objectively good life from the outside but hell on the inside - never good enough — I (25f) know I have a good life. Good school, 6 fig salary straight out of college, got into my first choice masters program, etc.. I know many people would want to have the life I have, but my AD lit…
The worst part is having people your age around you who are all doing better than you. — I think the whole cptsd problem would be much more bearable if the people around me weren't so damn successful. Even the most introverted/shy people I know get parters, money, careers. I know "compa…
My ex's new girlfriend is 10 years younger and it's making me spiral about how I look. — I know this is unhealthy. I know comparison is the thief of joy. I know I should be above this. But my ex is now dating a 28 year old and I'm 39 and I've never felt uglier in my life. not because she…
My Nex Contacted Me 2 months after blackmailing me to never contact her. — She specifically blackmailed me to never contact her. After seeing the material I felt so destroyed that she would use something so fragile against me. It's been 2 months since I blocked her from ev…
I feel like I'll never be able to live normally after being cheated on. — I need some support. I(21F)'ve been with my boyfriend(26M)for a year and a half and we planned future together. More than two months ago I had the opportunity to go through his phone after big fight.…
Why am I (27F) struggling with the thought of divorcing my husband (29M)? — I (27F) have been with my husband (29M) for almost a decade. He’s my first and only relationship. We had our first child and got married all within the same year. In hindsight we probably never shoul…
I go back and forward between ending my relationship every week, even though it's essentially perfect — My boyfriend \[22M\] and I \[22F\] have been together for over two and a half years. It was originally going to be a summer fling. I had gotten into a different university and was planning on transfer…
I talked to the other woman — I found out that my avoidant cheated on me based on location sharing. Nothing physical happened between them, but he was on a date. I know why he did it. Avoidants look for an escape hatch when the …
Currently spiralling — Is this reason enough to leave my husband? I have been thinking about this since summer, this conversation has come up 3 times and he is in agreement so I’m pretty sure I am making the right choice …
Self love through cooking date-night meals for myself has helped me immensely — Generally, I used to really detest myself, however things have slowly been getting better with therapy and separation from the main source of discord in my life. I say discord, but really my love is p…
I think my ex wants to get back together — I have no idea what to do. We went no contact (or according to her, I selfishly established no contact) about 1 month ago. We had officially broken up maybe 6 months ago, and I've been seeing her, tak…
I think my ex wants to get back together — I have no idea what to do. We went no contact (or according to her, I selfishly established no contact) about 1 month ago. We had officially broken up maybe 6 months ago, and I've been seeing her, tak…
Correction: Neville taught to “feel as if”. There were many New Thought authors that taught their students to “act as if”, but Neville primarily taught how to impress your subconscious mind using slee…
>Correction: Neville taught to “feel as if”. There were many New Thought authors that taught their students to “act as if”, but Neville primarily taught how to impress your subconscious mind using sle…
There is a very big difference between an unfocused daydream, in the third person, without intention or belief, vs a focused controlled self hypnosis/SATS session where you are focused on feeling the …
Okay logic and science- so your RAS reticular activating system is basically the minds way of filtering and processing the insurmountable data that it takes in from the environment 24/7 as well as pro…
>Maybe. In my understanding reprogramming the SM is changing oneself, as you reprogram you internally do change. In my experience many things changed when I did change my state that came from my SM re…
This is a very foolish comment. Any retard knows that many people at times lack faith. Faith is essential for manifesting your desires. Where there's no faith, there's no effect. That's the point to…
>The objective of LOB or LOA is to build lasting faith, not just temporary faith, over the long term to effect change subconsciously in the face of obstacles in life no matter what negatives are in th…
It is extremely difficult to *start* the healing process while in a relationship as you would be required to balance other factors (is the other party willing to work too? What is their level of healt…
You think you don't owe your partner, someone who's entered into a loving partnership with you, anything? That you can just walk away from that righteously, whenever? Sounds like a paltry, wispy comm…
I’m FA and my current relationship has me feeling like I’m losing my mind half the time. I’m really into him, but when conflict hits, I shut down, even though he actually tries to talk things through.…
If you are secure, I recommend you to take a step back for a bit and analyze this more objectively. Roller coaster sounds like intermittent reinforcement which could blind just anyone. But by taking a…
Yes my own experiences, but also if you read comments/posts not just from Reddit, you will find very common themes across the board with relationships with avoidants, the truth is it’s very difficult …
I'm a neuroscientist and I know a conditioned puppy when I see one. I will continue to meet what I sense being 110% wrapped up in classical conditioning and subjective emotions with 110% mental clar…
So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…
I figured anyone mentioning it would get downvoted, but I second the use of ChatGPT and other AI tools. I did a couple years of weekly therapy but it was getting too expensive. Now I use a combination…
Yea I get that, my point was that "self identifying as" only gets you so far. There's how we view and perceive ourselves, vs. how the outside world views and perceives us - and then there are objectiv…
>While it's indeed true people (and early on myself included, until I knew better) confuse or wrongly attribute abusive patterns and narcissism to avoidant attachment, I don't think it's intentional. …
There is more stigma attached to being anxious than an avoidant from my observations. Anxious is perceived as needy and clingy whereas avoidant is perceived as independent and cold. Neither necessaril…
The thing is the more I have aged and worked on myself getting higher self esteem and confidence, the more I have self reflected and become more aware of myself, the more I have slowly recognised the …
Yes I know this feeling. A big thing that helped for me was to actually notice when I'm picking my partner apart in my head or feeling some ick. I have to objectively observe those feelings and ask if…
I used to be an avoidant. What you are describing sounds very familiar and for me it was the part of me that was afraid of good, uncomplicated love. It made me come up with all sorts of nonsensical is…
Yes, I edited, and yes, my comment contains some judgement (besides mostly description and perception, ie. judgement-free language). Non-violent, 100% judgemental-free Rosenberg communication, to me…
Oh wow, that's a noticeable difference in both the shorter time to deactivation and the longer deactivation period. I would say that I definitely noticed a shorter time to deactivation and shorter o…
I'm AP, there is something which helps me detaching (it might be unhealthy though) I basically try to think how wrong other person did to me. Objectively speaking, your friend is at fault here. Confl…
I‘m going to make this short: You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right, his behavior is objectively not okay and it’s neither your fault nor your responsibility. I don’t think that any…
there are better things to do than getting hung up on someone who doesn't want to be in your life in any shape or form, respect their wish and give them *aaaaaaaaall the space in the world*, especiall…
Being secure isn't about giving more leeway to everyone, it's about giving leeway where reasonable, and making thoughtful decisions on whether to continue with someone or not as you get to know them b…
This is why I wanna keep at it even after having been hurt. Because I know it's going to be worth it. I just hope to better discern when I'm feeling discomfort due to my attachment insecurities, or b…
I'm not the person you responded to, but in my opinion, insecure attachment patterns (like trauma dumping early on, keeping score, or obsessively seeking out your partner's time) create "faux-closenes…
Yea don’t use chatgpt for this please. aside from it being objectively bad (for the planet and otherwise) it is NOT going to give you what you need long term, it’s going to make everything worse.
Thank you, I really appreciate your comment. Sometimes I struggle with being objective and other people’s inputs help me. Thanks
I am curious, are there men you don’t find attractive who are objectively solid, secure and good men? If so, it may be worth dating them (even just a couple dates) and exploring why they turn you of…
> I think this is an anxious trait so I want to know if this also happens to you? Why am I reacting like this? Is it justified or is it my insecurity talking? How do you communicate, instead of pullin…
You should check out the book Nonviolent Communication!! There are free PDFs online if you want to try before you buy. I'm moving from AA -> Secure and it has been super helpful. The basic idea is: …
I recently became single due to my anxious attachment which I was aware of but didn't understand how unhealed I was. I was in a relationship since January and things took a turn around August which I…
In a similar phase of “The Work” myself so here’s my two cents: I’m learned that when the overthinking becomes the driving force behind my emotions, motives, and actions, that’s when it’s obvious I’…
Great for you to have this realization! It isn't easy! I sat on my decision the evening before ending it for many hours, cycling through the data and seeking support. It will be unfamiliar at first wh…
This would be very valid if the relational baseline and emotional part objectively didn’t shift as much when compared to how it was before for months. This was just for the context which is not the fu…
I feel really conflicted about this post. Enough to come back to it days later. On the one hand, everyone is entitled to their own boundaries and enforcing your own boundaries is empowering and health…
hi everyone, sorry for the long post - myself (26F) and my partner (26M) of 6 years have broken up less than a week ago and i've never such acute visceral pain. i'm riddled with the worst physical anx…
Oh no, I don't find it offensive at all! It's just that this sub is filled with posts and comments filled with cautionary tales about exactly this type of situation - patient and caring kinds investin…
Hard for ME to remain objective, huh 🤣🤣🤣🤡
I used to be DA, now pretty secure. One thing I want to note is that a big part of avoidance is that we often look to "objective" measures of things to live our lives instead of touching in on our own…
it’s a puzzling feeling not knowing if I am unhappy in my relationship because I’m avoidant or because we have big incompatibilities. I think it’s a mix of both, but because I am aware of my avoidant …
Hey man, gonna answer through the lens of my own experience. Hopefully it’s helpful. If you don’t resonate with it, please disregard. I’m also assuming that you have a healthy relationship with her an…
I'm not sure if your person is FA or DA but I'll add my view as a healing fearful avoidant. If you have lighthearted things to share, the best way to share them is to just send them to the person. Giv…
Here's my thoughts after being on this subreddit for a while, and I am someone who has been daily practicing for the past 8+ months with no physical results. 1. Maladaptive daydreaming proves that ma…
I don't know whether you should stay or not - I do think based on what you said it seems like a good idea to at least discuss it all with your therapist first as well as potentially dig into it and yo…
Its so painful; I'm really so sorry you're experiencing this horrific pain right now, I've been through this twice; both partners were DA's who discarded brutally after the new relationship energy w…