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If he wanted to he would

r/AnxiousAttachmentUpdated 30 days ago
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Evidence

Citations (25)

Finding proof that you were right to be anxious

I'm not a texter, and I keep my phone on silent if I'm not expecting a call or in the middle of a text conversation. I reply to messages when I see them, it might be within minutes or a few hours if I…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment10/28/2025
Finding proof that you were right to be anxious

The thing is, he told me early on he wasn't a texter and I did believe him. I didn't see him texting others when we were together, in fact he showed me something on his phone once and I saw hundreds o…

r/AnxiousAttachmentcomment10/27/2025
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

I’m new here… wanted to ask some advice. I’ve been dating a man for a year and he is also my coworker. We had kind of a bumpy road, and have even broken up twice in Aug and then September but came bac…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/5/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

Is it OK with *you* if he doesn’t plan a Valentine’s date? It’s alright if it isn’t, you’re allowed to want things. I understand that surprises are nice and the “if he wanted to he would” narrative …

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/7/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

I’m so torn on the if he wanted to he would - I feel like sometimes people just don’t know what we want - so they can’t just guess it. I think you should tell him how you feel about the day and see wh…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/7/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

"If he wanted to he would" applies to men you have a relationship with, not men you've barely talked to. I can't tell you how many girls I've been practically in love with who I never talked to. Pro…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/12/2026
Is "good on paper" a thing for guys our age?

This sub often says "if he wanted to he would", but to flip that a bit I'll says, "He wants to and he does." As a man, if I'd read the description of his actions towards you I would've taken it as a…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/20/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - February 24, 2026

Should I make the next move? For context: I'm a 35 yo, cis het woman living in nyc. I recently (about 1.5 weeks ago) went out with a guy (also 35, cis het male) I met on bumble. The date took a bit …

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/24/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 03, 2026

Unfortunately I think you’ve read the situation accurately here and he’s too indecisive or too much of a baby to address it. I’m not a big fan of the phrase “if he wanted to he would” but in situation…

r/datingoverthirtycomment3/3/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 05, 2026

Oof I hope you can get some rest after all that. After I let a few guys absolutely destroy my life. My best friend turned me onto Shera seven and I let sprinkle sprinkle brainwash me for a few years…

r/datingoverthirtycomment3/5/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 09, 2026

"if he wanted to he would". You deserve someone who prioritizes you.

r/datingoverthirtycomment3/10/2026
I did it, I broke no contact.

I want to send a text like that to my ex too 😭 It’s a few days shy of a month without talking, I don’t know how long to wait but I feel like I need to cave before much longer. I just worry a lot abou…

r/BreakUpscomment3/11/2026
I think I have to leave this sub

You forgot that if he wanted to he would.

r/datingoverfortycomment3/18/2026
I (22f) entered a relationship with a set date but no longer want it to end. My bf (22m) won’t reconsider and it’s breaking my heart.

Yep I was in a very similar situation to OP after studying abroad and what she should definitely NOT do is keep in touch with him and drag it out over like 2 years lol because he’s not gonna choose he…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/24/2026
I (22f) entered a relationship with a set date but no longer want it to end. My bf (22m) won’t reconsider and it’s breaking my heart.

“If he wanted to he would” He’s told you where he’s at and what he needs. LISTEN to him. As hard as it is to hear, many men at this age often think the grass is greener on the other side (you menti…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/24/2026
I (22f) entered a relationship with a set date but no longer want it to end. My bf (22m) won’t reconsider and it’s breaking my heart.

If he wanted to he would. He’s made his decision that he doesn’t want to continue when you move how and he can dress it up with tears to make you feel bad for him but ultimately that’s what he wants. …

r/relationship_advicecomment3/24/2026
My boyfrien 'M28' and I 'F28'of almost 3 years still hasn’t started his divorce and I feel hurt.

If he wanted to he would. Face it his comfort is more important than your needs and desires. You're the side chick and you will always be the side chick. Get out now.

r/relationship_advicecomment4/4/2026
I said, I need time to process..

Ah. He's the Muslim. Gotcha.  That..... might be part of it. Some wouldn't even consider dating a non-Muslim, some would be open to it but are worried about backlash from friends or family, some are…

r/datingoverfortycomment4/5/2026
My (24F) bf (24M) isn’t ready to move in after 8 years.

Eight years and he isn’t ready? Girl, bye. If he wanted to he would… 👏 Do better.

r/relationship_advicecomment4/6/2026
My (27F) boyfriend (27M) doesn’t seem sure about marriage, what to do?

If he wanted to he would. Stop wifey behavior for your boyfriend. Move out. See how he likes living alone.

r/relationship_advicecomment4/9/2026
How do I (F24) nip my boyfriend’s (M26) weaponized incompetence in the bud?

I hate this phrase, but “if he wanted to he would”… A hard life lesson is you can’t make other people prioritize things; all you can do is communicate what important to you and see how they receive t…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/9/2026
How do I (30f) deal with repeated gift disappointment from my boyfriend (35m)

If he wanted to he would. I assume he is of adequate mental faculties otherwise? Can hold down a job? If he wanted to be better, and was just bad or anxious buying gifts (like my dad, autistic) h…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/9/2026
I (36F) like this guy (42M) and think I messed up my chance, if I had one to begin with.

It’s a tough one cause he’s at work whereas you are not. Automatically that means you are coming from two different places: You are there to have fun and blow off steam, he’s there to work. You view i…

r/datingoverthirtycomment4/9/2026
Miss you, love you, exhausted

God this hit me right in the chest. I went through something so similar last year and that whole "if he wanted to he would" thing became like a broken record in my head too. You captured exactly how i…

r/BreakUpscomment4/10/2026
Is my bf (37m) of 6 years stringing me (33f) along?

May be harsh but “if he wanted to he would” comes to mind.

r/relationship_advicecomment4/11/2026