fix it

My dad just texted me to "get over it" after 8+ months of silence — I've been low/no contact with my mom since last August after she sent me a guilt-tripping meltdown over something trivial (I didn't text her back fast enough about a card renewal while I was on vacati…

Building My First B2C SaaS Product – Learning, Struggling, and Still Going — I’ve been working on my B2C SaaS app **Gamify** for a little over a week now. It’s a habit-tracking, gamified to-do list app — a mix of fun and structure I’ve always felt was missing in other tools. …

Marketplace Connect changed 12000 Amazon inventory items to 0 ! Has this happened to anyone? I can't get help uploading a product list I downloaded. — What a nightmare! This experience has been devastating! The software is supposed to be safe... how on earth does it change all my inventory to 0 and no one is willing to help me fix it?? I have gone a…

Description liquid block not working — Im trying to fix this error where the shopify API doesnt seem to work when I add a description liquid block. All the other block seem to have proper code and work perfectly fine. Please dm me out of t…

“No Referring Sitemaps Detected.” — **Why your web pages might not show up on Google — even if they’re indexed** I ran into this issue while checking Google Search Console and thought it might help others here. Many of our indexed pag…

Trouble with Contact Form 7 — I test my small business's contact form every once in a while just to make sure it's working ok, and lately it's taking two hours for the messages to go through, if they do at all! Has anyone else exp…

How to fix my own FA attachment (ideally without therapy)? — I've been aware of my attachment style for a while now but only recently been annoyed with it enough to want to fix it. I've never been in a relationship because of it and done some admittedly very se…

You know what sucks about being in the process of healing your attachment type? Dating someone who has no idea they have an insecure attachment and you're just wasting all that hard-earned security on someone who doesn't care — I've been fearful avoidant most of my life, and it's helped me in abandoning very healthy partners because I was too blind of my issues. For 2 years now I've been working on myself and seeing huge s…

In an avoidant-anxious friendship, how much space should I be giving before I reach out? — The last 2 posts on the sub are about friendship and that encouraged me to post here as well. This is my friend of 5 years. We’ve gone from talking almost everyday to me being given the silent treat…

Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…

First Time Serious Connection With an Avoidant — I was in a relationship with an avoidant for around 3 months and everything was going well and we weren't moving too fast in my opinion. We had gone on dates and met each other's families. They had be…

Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…

No contact but want my stuff back — I put another thread on but basically he’s broken up with me and gone no contact. I initially reached out to find out what happened and if we could fix it (the next day), and a few days later asked fo…

Wife cheated on me with multiple men over the course of 3 months. — Me (31m) found out this past December that my wife (27f) had been talking to as many as 20+ people on Snapchat (non nude but inappropriate photos, sexting, ect.). I confronted before new years by tell…

How do I beat decision paralysis? — My entire life I've struggled with making decisions, whether it's choosing what food to buy at the shop, which route to take on a trip, or more important things like what job to take, or what I should…

My (29F) brother (34M) asked me if he ‘still has a sister’ because I’m not excited enough about his baby. How do I fix this? — My (29F) brother (34M) and his girlfriend (31F) are expecting a baby in May. I’m happy for them because I know they really wanted a kid, but I don’t feel particularly excited about becoming an aunt. W…

Covert narcissists are drawn to people with a strong instinct to help and care. — I grew up early. Owning Responsibilities that weren't mine. I learned that love was earned through being useful, stable, and selfless. I became the person people brought their chaos to. The one who a…

SELF-CONCEPT BLOCKS MANIFESTATIONS! Here's my quick fix — Feeling unworthy of receiving what we want is the dominant vibration even though we've affirmed 300 times "I am worthy!" It's our self-concept silently preventing our greatest desires! Even though i…

Did anyone else leave a good partner because you just werent in love anymore —  Ive been with my wife for almost a decade and shes genuinely a good person. She loves me deeply, supports me, and has never done anything wrong. But I dont feel the same way anymore and havent for a …

My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …

Speaking anxiety is ruining my career and I dont know how to fix it — Honestly I'm fine in casual conversations. One on one, small group, friends, whatever. Totally normal. But the second its any kind of "performance" setting, a meeting where I have to present, a call w…

How do you end an engagement when you both live together, share a lot of expenses, and the wedding is less than a year out. — i’ll start this off my saying i truly feel like a horrible person. I (22M), have been engaged to my girlfriend (23F) for about a year now. I rushed into the engagement in our first year of dating and …

My (37F) partner (43M) is obsessed with having something in his ass during sex and its ruining it for me. — My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years and at the start the sex was amazing! Over the first year he would drop subtle hints about getting off on anal play (on himself) but it wasn't a …

Asian Male - looking for advice on my face and head — Something I noticed about myself is that my front profile (even if it’s better than my side) is pretty asymmetrical, and my side profile is really bad. I never liked my side profile but I can’t look a…

A letter I wrote to myself. — Background. 20 years together. 16 married. She cheated multiple times. Found out about the first ones three years ago. Tried to forgive. She did it again. I left. Letter I wrote to myself …

[Partner] Wife’s suppressed severe trauma surfaced. She’s in extreme ‘flight’ mode, refusing therapy, and I am burning out. Need honest outlooks. — \*\*Added some new context at the end Hi everyone. I’m hoping to find some perspective, hard truths, or shared experiences from those who have navigated severe PTSD/CPTSD dynamics. I am completely e…

You lost them, not losing them — I had a strange thought today, it hit me like a ton of bricks. An ad came up for a movie we planned to watch and instantly triggered a sad wave, That thought of "we was going to enjoy that" to "I'm g…

You need to sit down and imagine NOW! — I get a good amount of DM's from SP posts/comments I've made complaining about their SP and how their SP "is" (as if it is some immutable characteristic). Do you see what you are doing?! You are just…

How to cry? — Im a 34yo man. Last time I cried was 20 years ago. Yeah I can't cry. I've been through break-ups, many people I loved died and my face didnt have a reaction. My childhood was stressful and traumati…

What’s the point of living if everything is a mistake? — I’m 21f and it wasn’t until last year that the idea that ‘it’s okay to make mistakes’ even entered my consciousness. I was just always a well behaving kid. Now, it feels like everyone does anything th…

Revenge on my ex of 1 year — TL;Dr a 32 year old CA i have been dating a guy for 1.5 year now. Initially he love bombed and was always there for me n all. later the inconsistency began and he was clearly an avoidant who would d…

Why does my relationship turn into a breakup every time we fight? — So I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about 4 months now. We met on Bumble, and honestly… I really do love him. He’s kind, thoughtful, and overall a really good person. But there’s this …

My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) just mutually broke up after an on/off cycle. Did we make the right call or did I handle this badly? — My girlfriend (24F) and I (26M) just mutually broke up after an on/off cycle. Did we make the right call or did I handle this badly? This is very fresh. We just ended things and I need honest outside…

Advice for my ex and for others in the future — Do not tell others about problems in your relationship, especially without letting your S/O know first. A lot of people are toxic and will just tell you negative things and tell you to leave. Those co…

Just figured out she was cheating today — So there's a long story, I met this girl a almost a month ago, she still to this day was the most beautiful woman ever, I love her so much. I was surprised I got her attention and quickly we got into …

My boyfriend (20m) and I (19f) are close to breaking up and I don’t know how to fix it. — We’ve been together for 1 year and 4 months. So I found out after Valentine’s Day that he was cheating on me for two weeks leading up to then. He had only kissed the girl. We talked through it and dec…

question (that may be stupid, sorry in advance if it is) — so, i've essentially never really felt close with my family, especially in the past years, but haven't really thought much about it until maybe about a year ago and, lately i've been roleplaying, whi…

He asked for a divorce… after “upgrading” everything I owned — I’ve been married for 6 years, and out of nowhere, my husband tells me he wants a divorce. No buildup, no real warning... just dropped it like it’s nothing. What’s messing with my head is everythin…

32 years old, 4.5 years into the healing journey I've literally JUST realized I was sheltered — I can't believe this has only just hit me. I'm 32 years of age. THIRTY-TWO! It's literally just in the past hour hit me that I was extremely sheltered growing up and it's lead to me lacking the skills…

I (29F) am planning to walk away from my partner (29M) and I feel guilty for choosing to put myself first.. — We’ve been together for about nine years, married for less than one, we had a lot of issues over the years that I’ve tried over and over again to fix, with trying to talk through it, and even couples …

He showed up at my house tonight, drunk after 6.5 years — My ex (23M) and I (23F) dated from the age 14-17, throughout high school. He was one of my best friends and we loved each other dearly. We broke up because I didn’t want to be with him anymore bc I th…

I might be wrong but something changed when i stopped trying to calm my mind — I don’t know if this is just me or not but I've been noticing something lately. I’ve been around meditation for a long time (almost 10 years… stayed in an ashram for like 5 years too) so i’ve tried a…

Letter to Self before Meeting her — Figured it helped a few on other subs so I would add here. I've also been told to warn it may be a trigger to some. Hey dumbass, I don’t really know how to start this without it feeling unreal, beca…

LADY BIRD, depiction of mother/daughter dysfynctionality — Because in the end they're so similar, and there is so much potential, there is love, shared interests, and sensibility... yet they grow more and more distant, and it seems like there is nothing that …

I just watched a video on how ADHD makes us prime targets for abusive/narcissistic behavior, and I feel so defeated. — Hey everyone, I’m writing this because I really need to vent and see if anyone else here with CPTSD and ADHD has experienced this. I just finished watching a video by a creator named Danish Bashir a…

I cheated. Not looking for excuses, how do I grow from this? — I'm admitting it on very first sentence that I cheated, and I'm not looking for ways justify my infidelity or going to act as a victim. What I did was wrong. But I want to know how do I grow from th…

Got hurt, tried to heal, got dumped because I didn't heal fast enough. — I F22 was on and off with my now ex"boyfriend" M21 for almost a year (never made it to girlfriend status) and I’m really struggling to make sense of how things ended. Right before Valentine's day, we…

I want to send an apology letter to my ex from 10 years ago — Long story short, he was my first love, first kiss, first \*everything\*; we met in high school and dated for a little under a year, but we had a somewhat complicated 3-year friendship prior to that. …

Help figure out who I am outside academia — I’ve always been alright at school, and a year younger than all my peers, so I’ve felt I’ve had to compensate for it. So I’ve thrown myself into advanced classes and many clubs. I always thought that …

Mom Let Her Mechanic “Gut” My Car — Basically the title. I have a 2012 ford fusion that I wrecked last summer and I had to leave it sitting at my mom's house because I had no funds to fix it. At her birthday party in February of this ye…

I (24F) feel so emotionally drained in my relationship with bf (28M) — I'll preface by saying I know this dynamic isn't uncommon. I know this argument typically happens but I need some real, actual advice on how to fix it. I am tired of having the same argument again and…

This is so hard to do for me. It’s only been a week or so now but I would end my life if not for my 3 little kids. I can’t believe the woman I’m still in love with thinks so poorly of me she wanted to…

>The objective of LOB or LOA is to build lasting faith, not just temporary faith, over the long term to effect change subconsciously in the face of obstacles in life no matter what negatives are in th…

There is a lot of middle ground before you hire an employee. You could contract out for a personal assistant. They work for themselves and usually have several clients. You could contract with an over…

There's no reason anyone needs to know that you see a therapist. If you don't tell people, they won't know right? Depending on your health insurance, a session usually only costs a copy ($20-40) fo…

Dang! I really felt this post. I've been working on becoming secure for over five years now. Met a great guy and leaned in to any initial discomfort, because I recognized it was not him/us, it was me.…

Well, I sadly had experience with avoidant before and I knew some patterns. Unfortunately for me I didn't recognize it fast enough, at the point where, I think, I could discuss it better and maybe bre…

Appreciate your honesty, but PLEASE DO NOT DATE until you’ve worked on yourself in a consistent, demonstrable way and have learned to actually change what you desire. You will only cause unnecessary …

Thanks for being understanding. My home environment wasn’t safe my dad once threaten to “spilt my head open” while he was drunk and I’m pretty sure my mom never loved me in a real sense, but no one sh…

I am FA (leaning AP) and my ex is FA (leaning dismissive). So many of the elements like withdrawal from intimacy and shame wounds which triggered blowups were so prevalent. During honeymoons and vacat…

I’m gay too. The problem with the message is it doesn’t address any specific problems. Unless your message addresses exactly what you did wrong (naming) and how you plan to fix it (repair) then the me…

i guess this is why i think you should stop trying to analyze it at all. you dont ACTUALLY know how he behaves with the others, and the WHY can never be answered. it really hurts I know, I have OCD an…

I'm glad you recognized the bias for yourself. It's so noticeable as an avoidant, as I carry many scars from APs (not demonizing all of them, just obviously insecure attachment is a two sided coin.) S…

The mom was mental and so was the stepfather for putting up with it. He should have actually gone to meet Neville, told him what was happening, and asked him to fix it. I'm sure Neville would have don…

I totally get where you’re coming from. I used to feel the same way, like every little cue was a siren, and I had to act immediately to fix it, even when I knew logically that nothing was wrong. What …

Okay so what I am seeing is that your work culture has become toxic. And her changing the status of the friendship was a breaking point or maybe just when it all came to a head and was brought more pa…

I think two things are true: what she did initially was something most people would not be okay with in a relationship. So that was bad and it was a big deal. However, two, It sounds like she handled…

Thank you so much! This makes total sense. I’m trying to move toward being secure. Hence giving him a week to process his emotions without needing to fix it. I was just handling my emotions. Regulatin…

Also… what you say about how you were with your kids, I was always that way with mine. I wasn’t like that with a partner though. However my partner and I just got along so we never needed to talk abou…

Did I overreact? I am 26 and was seeing a guy who is also 26 for about three weeks. He started off as a very strong texter. He replied thoughtfully, asked a lot of questions, and seemed genuinely cur…

Yeah I know I can’t fix it. I just want to make them more secure. And in which they are now, so I think that helps. The answer would be trauma then, thank you.

The relationship dynamic you explained still requires both parties to work on themselves to fix it. It doesn’t sound like they are owning their own contribution to this dynamic. So if they are not doi…

I think what happens is they have a sort of fantasy they want to see play out, where you come to them with some simple emotional distress or problem or something and they immediately fix it, and then …

Here's my thoughts after being on this subreddit for a while, and I am someone who has been daily practicing for the past 8+ months with no physical results. 1. Maladaptive daydreaming proves that ma…

Usually worrying about saying the wrong thing, speaking in future tense ways as well. Almost like the other person is talking to you like we're already in a relationship even though it's still early …

First off… Congrats! Sounds like things are going well and that’s awesome :) I just try to remember that the fear, at least for me, is usually because I have or am starting to develop real feelings f…

It was hard. He’s pretty deactivated and well, kind of mean right now. I wish he understood his triggers. I wish the safety of being with me didn’t scare the shit out of him. It’s his own work and I c…

It's cliche, but just allowing myself to be sad instead of trying to fix it, ignore it or push it away helps a lot. Of course im sad a sad thing happened.

I did. He was sweet, but the attraction depleted instead of growing, which through years of experience in giving people a much longer and more serious chance I’ve discovered is an early sign for me th…

If someone I had just met, pointed out a physical flaw of mine, and asked when I was going to fix it? I’d be so icked out I would move to mars. If you’re not attracted to her then don’t date her. Do …

Anyone have resources on how to keep a conversation going on OLD? I feel like im pretty good at setting up a profile and making a fun intial message, but keeping up a conversation on it feels like fi…

All posts are manually reviewed before being approved for posting. This usually takes less than an hour, though it can take longer depending on moderator availability. While you wait for your post to …

I feel like that's the point at which I know enough about them to properly switch modes from "assessing" to "commitment". Like, before 3/4 months a difficulty or, for want of a better word, an ick rai…

It's me. I broke up with him for being financially enmeshed with his ex (childfree, never married). Today he tried to fix it by telling me that they talk all the time and he still talks to her mom. Bl…

I like the image of thoughts as watching leaves flowing down the river. you will always see the leaves flowing, but you don’t stare at them, you don’t study them, you don’t fix it on them. You simply …

Your own personal insight about feeling like you may have “done too much” turned on a lightbulb for me; it seems like trying to reason with her about all the things she engaged in with me is futile. …

Personally, id have told my friend that I already had made plans and unfortunately couldn't make it, especially if partner was traveling. Maybe overthinkinking thing but if I was in your partners posi…

this is currently what I have been experiencing. I realized I had been putting my relationship and partner above me. It has been showing up as depression symptoms because the anxiety was constantly be…

I have been in this exact dynamic with three different men over the past 9 months. The first I never talked to him about it and ended it. The second I talked to him because I had a deeper connecti…

Ranting about how my fearful avoidant traits are always fighting each other 😞 Though I’d say I’m leaning more towards avoidant. But sometimes the thought of “hmm… maybe I’m missing the point” strike…

How can you tell if you’re with an avoidant? I’m kind of spiraling— my long term relationship is in trouble and I have been trying hard to fix it. Even this dynamic is a little weird for me, everythin…

Well you've tried keeping the peace and he's still behaving like a spoiled child. So call him on his shitty behavior. He's the one sabotaging his friendships. YOU are not responsible for his behavio…

You don't have a choice, your job is to put your baby before your love for him, that is the path you chose when you had a baby. He knows exactly what it feels like to have an alcoholic for a father a…

Ok, so you are probably super Sag in some way. I think it's fake news that all Sag are the life of the party. we can be a spectrum between Miley and Billie Eilish. Taylor spent HS in her room writing …

From someone who is divorced with kids, don’t do it. You will break your heart over and over again. Try to fix it. I wish I would’ve

This is such a bs post, I cannot believe people are falling for this. Regardless, I'll play along - you think YOU trying to solve the issue that you have shown him proof of will be what ruins the rel…

Here’s a little secret I learned. You are allowed to care. It was 6 years of your life and the idea of what could’ve been, and what would have been and being left like you didn’t matter…. But you are…

Sadly, you didn’t help him. Help means getting someone over a hump, giving them a chance to reset so their future efforts will be enough to allow them to thrive. Instead, you’ve propped him up, and …

I was the dumper and I tired everything to make it work. Constant conversations just for nothing to change, the same self sabotaging behaviour would get repeated with no respect for boundaries. I had …

That’s what made me think he’s lying. If it were me, I’d be going above and beyond to figure out what’s going on and fix it. She’s being verbally abused daily and she and kids moved out of the house a…

You're right. Believing that "life is suffering" is probably the most horrible way of living (there may be reasons for thinking that of course), because most of our experiences are based on what we b…