book
the avoidants
Evidence
Citations (24)
Attached by Levine & Heller is quite a bad book imo (I have read it). It is extremely biased against the avoidant attachment style (calling people who have it "the avoidants" while no other nicknames …
how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
This is harder than it should be. 🥸 — I was so incredibly excited when I first started dating after divorce 4 years ago. I was finally looking forward to meeting a like minded man and falling in love with a healthy partner. I was 44 and f…
I was literally just discussing this with my therapist yesterday. The balancing act of navigating knowing two truths can exist at the same time is hard af. But it does help so much processing emotions…
This is probably my own AP side coming through and influencing things, but, I'd always sort of viewed the avoidants desire for space in a similar way that Marxists percieve a proletarian false-conscio…
It isn’t. Avoidance, more so than AA, is deeply unconscious. Consciously, we want to show up for our partners and to be vulnerable, which makes it difficult to recognize the fact that we are distancin…
>Better yet, many are up front and say they don’t want anything serious/don’t want a relationship. I lost count of how many times others will be like, “Avoidants use that as an excuse to hurt you late…
My first question is, are you really satisfied with the fact you’ve been dating her for 6 months and still aren’t her official boyfriend? And now she wants time apart? This is playing right into the a…
So i use it in very specific ways. I’ve worked with my 4.o enough that it has a good idea of my personality and sense of humor and has a history of already having seen what I want. That said, when I a…
Correct. Also sending these paras would only make the avoidant walk away more from him, and it'll cause more anxiety for the op again. Avoidants don't care u live or die, they never form deep bonds. …
sending these paras would only make the avoidant walk away more from him, and it'll cause more anxiety for the op again. Avoidants don't care u live or die, they never form deep bonds. They are comfo…
Sure, here is a portion that resonated with me a lot and made sense on what attracts me to the avoidants or unavailable or troubled people. Shall share more if you are interested: The need to be need…
Avoid the avoidants! It’s the only way
Here’s what I’ll say. Me personally, I think a lot of people that are being called avoidants really aren’t true avoidants with the right person. I strongly believe the avoidants people are met with ar…
We, as in us the avoidants are not vilanizing avoidants or atleast I hope not. It's everyone else who refuses to see life from a different lens that's not theirs.
In dating I will be straightforward with: are you single? Would you like to go out? While on a date and things are going well: Would you like to kiss me? Like I'm trying to be consensual too. It's m…
The internet as a whole views avoidantly attached people as villains, and anxiously attached people as victims. Both are unhealthy and toxic. “I feel I don’t deserve this or am extremely uncomfortabl…
They're victims of their own inability to read, once again lol. I mean that's their fault. There's even rules here for the avoidants too on how to post and if we don't do it right we just don't get to…
Original copy of post by u/DotDouble127: I was so incredibly excited when I first started dating after divorce 4 years ago. I was finally looking forward to meeting a like minded man and falling in l…
> I was 44 and felt alive for the first time in 20 years. > Between the avoidants, narcs and men still married…this dating shit is killing me. Most people go through a second adolescence after divor…
Uh, maybe, but I’ve worked really hard in therapy to show up the way I want to, even when it’s difficult. Even in the hardest moments of communication, I am able to pause and choose how I want to reac…
We gotta learn to leave the avoidants men. They will destroy you in the end.
Even the avoidants come back tbh