processed

What does "letting thoughts go" actually mean in practice ? How do you do it ? — Hello everyone, sorry for the long post but I have a rather precise question that needs a bit of context ! TLDR : is letting thoughts go more like 1) watching them from a distance to realize they're…

Issues making card payments on shopify — Hi guys, I am currently building a new store and everytime I go to either purchase a domain or select a shopify plan through shopify I enter my card details and it just keeps loading and loading on …

2.5 million in fraudulent orders — I have a huge problem and Shopify has mentioned they cannot help and do not give refunds once processed. They insist there is no support phone number and can only discuss the matter via chat. My orde…

Alternate for 'Please share bank details' to transfer money — Hey folks, I’m working on a simple tool aimed at helping small service businesses — like tradies, pet groomers, caterers, mobile cleaners, etc. — get paid faster. Instead of sending invoices or shari…

Anyone know of an alternate for 'please share your bank details' (I will not promote) — Hey folks, I’m working on a simple tool aimed at helping small service businesses — like tradies, pet groomers, caterers, mobile cleaners, etc. — get paid faster. Instead of sending invoices or shari…

Saw the same man I've been seeing as a kid — I'm sorry about the use of A.I but my drawing skills are bad and I don't know how to explain this but I've seen this man in my dreams ever since I was a child. I remember seeing shows like Tom and Jer…

Does anyone else feel like they're "performing" being okay in therapy instead of actually being honest? — I've been seeing my therapist for about 8 months now and I genuinely like her, she's warm and seems to actually care. But I keep noticing that when I'm in session I tend to present everything in a way…

After 30 years of being a people pleasing, peace-keeping, manipulative, caretaking, dysregulated, codependency "addict," I've finally reached a point where I have enough control to simply STOP. In a very short amount of time, my whole entire life has changed. It's nearly impossible to describe. — The first part of this post is just context, and you can skip it all by scrolling down to **The Proof** I'm not going to go into much detail, but just for context: I experienced some pretty major chi…

self concept work is no joke — For years I have been manifesting things like money, good career, etc via scripting, visualization and other methods with ease. But I noticed that every time I acquired those things there was still …

The true meaning why you were told to never bottle up your emotions — I remember years ago I was very young and in primary school… I would always see on posters around me. “Don’t bottle up your emotions.” And of I went on YouTube at the time or I heard from fam…

What's the best thing you've done for your brain health? (food, habits, tools, anything) — we spend so much time optimizing our bodies in this sub but how much are we actually doing for our brains specifically? not just 'sleep and meditate ill go first. the three things that made the bigg…

Feeling "unresolved" — I tend to feel stuck and unresolved. I feel as if there are a lot of unclarified information in terms of both emotion and logic. It's too many what ifs or thoughts at the same time, so most informati…

Met my ex after a year apart. It was the best day since our breakup. Here's what happend. — A year ago, I said goodbye to someone I truly loved. A year and a half together, big plans, intense love. The breakup was painful and messy. For a year I processed it, analyzed it, doubted myself. Ev…

A letter I wrote to myself. — Background. 20 years together. 16 married. She cheated multiple times. Found out about the first ones three years ago. Tried to forgive. She did it again. I left. Letter I wrote to myself …

Out of body experience, just met, Jesus? Question mark — **Perface:** I have never identified as religious. I've been listening to binaural beats (4hz) lately, almost every night before bed. The intent is to meet higher vibrational beings. Tonight, I took…

[Partner] Wife’s suppressed severe trauma surfaced. She’s in extreme ‘flight’ mode, refusing therapy, and I am burning out. Need honest outlooks. — \*\*Added some new context at the end Hi everyone. I’m hoping to find some perspective, hard truths, or shared experiences from those who have navigated severe PTSD/CPTSD dynamics. I am completely e…

Plain "lost feelings" or might she be an avoidant?! — We were together eight weeks. No conflicts, no issues. She was fully invested, she initiated equally (or even more), said "I love you" first after one month, made future plans for the summer and easte…

8 Months No Contact — It's almost 8 months no contact now. I still have a deep sadness - I was hurt like I've never been hurt before. But I'm overcome by a deep sense of injustice. For all her cruelty and betrayal. And the…

Letter to Self before Meeting her — Figured it helped a few on other subs so I would add here. I've also been told to warn it may be a trigger to some. Hey dumbass, I don’t really know how to start this without it feeling unreal, beca…

I ignored my self-critic for a full week and boy was it exhausting — A week ago I decided that since behavioural activation therapy, CBT, other therapies, and trying to find ways to be productive or find meaning with others or by myself, and even low pressure advice we…

800-1000ug+ FIRST acid trip complete ego loss most terrifying thing ive ever had — Before I get into this, I want to make something clear right away. I am not encouraging anyone to do this, and I am definitely not presenting this as some cool or impressive story. This was not enjoya…

Anxiety isn’t in the head it’s stuck in the body. The somatic trick that rewires it — I tried something that felt absolutely ridiculous during an anxiety spiral and it worked better than anything else I have ever done. I stood up put on a heavy beat and just started shaking. Full body …

Delayed Response In Processing Events — Hello, this is my first post. During my contact experience with a being/NHI (June 2025-current) I have begun to notice a pattern that I became aware of as of a few months ago, involving processin…

How to move on — I 26f was with my ex 27m for 4 years. I got into this relationship the day after I left an abusive 3 year relationship. Unfortunately this relationship also became abusive but in a physical and sexual…

Sorry I was immature - J — Hey. I’ve been thinking about everything that happened between us, and I realize I never really gave you the acknowledgment you deserved. You cared deeply about our relationship, and you tried really…

I texted her after 1.5 years — I initiated the breakup, but because we kind of lived together so much time passed between initiating the breakup and me actually leaving for good / her not having to hear from me, that she processed …

How can I do better — My Story — A Journal Entry Where It All Began I grew up in a joint family — grandparents, cousins, relatives all around. On the surface, there was warmth and togetherness. But my immediate family wa…

Bullied Out of my Family — I've never fit in with my family. My mom had post postpartum depression, so she didn't really love or connect with me as a baby. She struggled a lot and had no support network, so I don't blame her fo…

Struggling to move on from my ex and feeling a lot of regret — I’m really struggling to move on from my ex and could use some perspective. It was a messy toxic breakup and I’m ashamed… (32m 30f) It’s been about 6 months since we broke up a 2 year relationship, a…

What was your LT marriage amicable divorce experience? — I’ve told my husband I’m done, he’s slowly accepting it. We’ve been married 27 yrs. 3 children (24,22, & 19). I’m looking to hear how you processed through the actual separation of things, how did yo…

Last year’s birthday card — Welp, I thought I was healing and on the mend. It’s been a few days of no tears.. I thought I processed everything and was perfectly content on not reaching out. But I found last last year’s birthday …

Advice marriage — I have been married 6 years , I found out my husband was addicted to meth about 3 years ago . We are both professionals and have good jobs , however he randomly disappears for a 3 day weekend where I …

Ask the universe what it needs — Has anyone ever tried this? Before being selfish and even asking for things that only you want. Do you ever just think about how miserable it feel to have everything you ever wanted. Only to look…

It really does come in waves — I've processed the breakup, accepted it even, but I haven't fully detached myself from how meaningful she was in my life. It's been 38 days, but sometimes these feelings just sneak up on you from out…

How do I, 26F, get my husband, 25M, to realize talking to his family is the issue? — My husband and I have not been to together extremely long (2 years), we got married because he decided to join the military. My husband and I don't have any real issues in our relationship. Now onto …

I'm the bad guy! And I admit it! But I'm growing. — TL;DR I did dumb shit but I've learned & grown & I want some insight from guys who've accepted accountability & made the best from the worst. So I'm gonna get this started with some backstory. STBXW …

Thinking about her again after 9 Months — Title. I hope everyone understands this is my perspective. It will come off one-sided and I will be blunt as to not keep running in circles. I will be as unbiased as possible but I understand any ques…

Feeling resentful, bitter, and jealous of my (28F) twin sister (28F) — I (28F) have a twin sister (28F), and she’s getting married soon. I hate admitting this, but it’s bringing up a lot of resentment, bitterness, and jealousy in me. Growing up, people constantly compar…

Powerful spiritual journey coming down from meth and eating mushroom chocolate. Thought I'd share my experience — so just some background, I was 4 months clean from meth, used 24 hours prior but still hadn't slept. I met this girl and I bought some mushroom chocolate for us. im unsure of dosage, I think they we…

i think i was groomed, hes now working where i get therapy, im overwhelmed — a few months ago i was homeless due to fleeing dv and moved into a mental health group home. there was a team lead who acted weird: \- invited me to have frequent private conversations with him when …

One year of CBT, self-harm not anchored in sessions, just learned I might have BPD — thoughts? — I have been seeing a therapist for over a year, weekly sessions, CBT approach mainly. I noticed that when I express self harm moments, she just ask one or two questions then the topic changes. Since I…

i 23F am having feelings for someone other than my fiancée 22F — my fiancée and i have been together for three years this month. we’ve been going through a really rough patch since about december. we had a really bad christmas due to family issues and financial str…

Current Situation (SP) - Open to any help or advice or general discussion — Wanted to share my story with the community and see what people have to say about my situation - maybe it'll help some others going through something similar. A few months ago, I went through a break…

Partner numb/empty/lost after affair — Some backstory, I have been with my partner for 10 years. We were engaged, have 1 toddler and a baby on the way. I recently found out about is infidelity after (what felt to me like short) period of…

Need help understanding what I’m going through open to any opinion will not be offended — I’m gonna try to keep this short, however I have lots of detail. I believe some of this stems from childhood now I am 27 years old. My mental health has always been an issue however it has been declin…

Recovery Progress and miscellaneous thoughts — I've posted here before. it's been about 2 months now since I separated from my co-dependent relationship (I'll call them RY). I was in a fairly devastated state, depressed, crying everyday, obsessing…

How to have a healthy sexual life after CSA?? [TW incest, blackmailing, hard kinks] — I'm a 18 years old trans man. I have been sexually abused by my brother at 5, sexually harassed by two teachers in middle school, and I have some awful incestuous history with my father that I feel s…

Update: An anonymous person messaged me (F27) saying that my boyfriend (M29) of 3 years was arrested… can you help me know what I should do next? — Original post is on my account, but a TLDR is an anonymous person messaged me saying that my boyfriend (Jason) was arrested in his early twenties for, well it’s difficult for me to say, but the messag…

This seems almost comical but ever since I had ego death on ketamine I’ve felt a pressure in my forehead right between my right and left eye — lol like the title described idk what to make of it, but I’ve been feeling this intense pressure that comes and goes between my eyes on my forehead and pulsating sometimes to my neck, I do wonder if i…

I’m slipping back into depression and there’s nothing I can do — Trigger warning: weight loss I’ve posted a lot about my bad home situation in these last 2 weeks, some bits were my mum being so against me eating over-processed food but wants me to get weight loss …

It was difficult untill last summer when I joined a men’s group, and got some feedback to my story… at the same time I was deeply committed to learning about avoidant’s and how they manage (or more to…

You are also not going to have children with strangers, acquaintances, or even friends, and let those people potentially hurt you deeply + take half of your things when those relationship ends. You a…

I would disagree that you "just have to sit with it". Excessive rumination is a sign of unprocessed or pent up energy, and the answer for that is to release it. Not just sit with it. Have you?

I’m more anxiously attached and ending up with avoidants quite easily. so I can give you at least my perspective: When I’m in a relationship I’m fully invested. Loyal, giving, loving all of it. B…

As a fellow CPTSD survivor who has worked in the field for 2 decades now (internationally), both clinically and therapeutically, I want to give you hope; it doesn't ever have to get to the point again…

Amen. I've read every comment up to now without commenting and while there has been some great insight on "how" to show up for an FA partner, the "what happens when they don't like it" insights are la…

I feel I recently made healing progress in this department. I used to feel just like you do, everything you described. I’ve been in therapy for 2 years learning how to regulate / release feelings. The…

"I think…anxious attached people have loads of backed up unprocessed feelings. So when anxiety hits it’s every single anxiety you never confronted in your life. " This sounds about right. Also, thi…

No, I am not inverting the two. The avoidant attachment system is dismissive towards the internal self. There is a common misconception within mainstream pop-psychology attachment theory that dismiss…

I'm a DA as well, and I'm afraid that that's generally not going to work. The secret is that we don't need quite as much space as we think we need. Giving us days or weeks after conflict or for some …

Edit: I accidentally posted before I was done 😂 First, congratulations on even getting this far! That's something to celebrate in itself. >* How would I start? I started with a lot of introspectiv…

The book "Anxiously Attached" by Jessica Baum was a HUGE help for my anxious attachment. It significantly changed how I processed my last relationship and helped me get far enough along in healing to …

So with an anxious attachment theres a lot of intensity with feelings that leads to acting on said feelings. A lot of this intensity stems from past experiences that haven’t been fully integrated. Wh…

One way I also compensated is to only share my feelings, after I processed it, learned from it, and dealt wit hit. Talking to them in a "Hey I just learned this about \_\_\_\_." I noticed it helps the…

Others have said, this seems a typical trope that exists more with women but I experienced this as a man. Dated for someone in 2025 for 9 months who was great on paper, most compatible, we both had so…

You can over eat healthy food. Lots of them are super high in calories (cooking oils, nuts, avocado, rice, etc.). If "not too much" implies you do sometimes eat junk, people often under-estimate how m…

Maybe he hasn’t opened the message because he hasn’t fully processed the breakup yet. Sometimes when a relationship ends, people don’t just need space from the other person, they need space from the e…

Nope, but my reply to her break up text was just. "alright. I understand" then she told me she hoped I was okay. I never responded. the story is kind of embarrassing....this guy at work.. I had told…

I tried to do the normal thing of going to talk therapy, working out, eating rights, getting good sleep, socializing etc but was still firmly stuck in thinking about my ex day in and day out. Eventua…

I was always that person who said I’d never date someone who is separated/not officially divorced or even someone who is less than 6 months out of the divorce being finalized. Welp… I somehow ended …

I think people process an ending differently. Some sit and work through their emotions and work on themselves. Others mask by going out and trying to hook up with everyone. The thing is they are no…

I’m a woman and I’ve been talking to people again 2 months after a 2 year relationship but I would never dream of getting into something serious anytime soon. I will say that part of why I’m doing thi…

what if, and hear me out, the vibrations of your environment ACTUALLY INCREASED which brought all those dark and negative thoughts to the forefront so that you can deal with them and let them go? wha…

That is such a realization that by releasing those unprocessed emotions, it hastened the manifestation.

I know exactly how you feel! We were roommates and good friends for most of our 15 year marriage. We separated almost three years ago, and honestly I felt like I had been released from prison. I had a…

These are all anecdotal experiences from your perspective. The behavior you described can show up in any attachment strategy. As the depending variable of someones attachment strategy is based off the…

she'll reach out to check in somehow at some point. my guy, literally do nothing and focus on staying and keeping yourself in motion. my domestic ex of 3 years didn't reach out until a year later. i j…

Active suppression is unlikely to be effective, as is strong desire for something not to arise; both are craving and aversion which are the underlying fuel of any sankharas. Long term abstention work…

As I explained in other comments, many individuals have both attachment strategies. Someone can use a type A attachment strategy with one person, but a type C attachment strategy with another person.…

We didn't split on good terms, so there's that. She was 36 and hooked up with a guy and then had an affair with our babysitter who was 21F. They lived together with my kids for about 2.5 years until…

As a parent I think about this a lot. Especially because I have done so much work since my oldest was an adolescent and started (as is developmentally appropriate, as rough as it is) rejecting every t…

Honestly, I feel this. The dating pool can be pretty bleak sometimes, and going back to what you know, especially if the chemistry was good, makes a weird kind of sense. Just make sure you've *really*…

I never got closure. That’s the hard part about avoidants. They can’t acknowledge the feelings - either the pain they’ve caused or the actual pain they themselves are feeling. It all gets stuffed down…

Thank you for naming this because it's been bothering me for a while. Somewhere in the last few years "boundaries" became code for "I don't want to feel uncomfortable" and those are not the same thing…

He sounds like a man carrying burdens, insecurities and maybe even traumas he hasn't processed. How deep can you go in conversations? Can you bring up your concerns? Also, its not easy to be a step …

Okay, so here are my thoughts on the matter... What I'm sensing here is fear and anxiety, plain and simple. My wife and I (43M and 42F) got married almost three years ago, and both of us have a lot …

M 56 - divorced for 8 years (roundabout). Yup, getting used to the 180 switch: with/without the children is harsh in the start. Having to cook for yourself instead of getting preprocessed meals tak…

One thing you might try is "this is because that was." Look for the root. I listened to a dharma talk by Thich Nhat Hanh where he talked about the most basic fears that beings have from the moment of …

I’m just starting the process and the silence is what I crave. Right now, I’m home alone, took off part of a day. Sitting in the house with no music, no TV, no nothing. Of course, I’m the initiator. I…

I am having the same experience 1 month after breaking up after a year long relationship. I'm noticing when the memories come, I am physically kind of bracing myself and getting "tightened up" as a de…

>If you want to hear what is (in my opinion) a great Oak impression, wait until minute 45:00 or so! Oh *really* now! \*Checks impression\* Omfg lolol. I shall have some words with Annika :P I kid…

Maybe this is sexist but I knew you were a guy when you said ‘years ago’. Something about dudes that they bury their feelings while you’re with them or breaking up, then years later they return becaus…

Not at all and regret never entered the picture. I didn’t celebrate when they died, as I’d pictured before, but I eventually felt relief and freedom. There was a mess of anger, resentment, obligatio…

Look at it this way - if this is the way you learn the lesson to respect other people's bodily autonomy, then you learned a valuable one without harming anyone else or doing anything that even require…

I think people have always avoided silence, the tools are just faster now. A phone fills the gap in two seconds. Twenty years ago you'd pick up a magazine or turn on the TV. The impulse is the same. …

1000% relate and used to think that to myself a lot. Something else I think that’s similar in nature to this is it always feels empty and emotionless is “I miss my mom.” She >!died!< when I was 15, b…

Ok thats good.. the emotions of betrayal and grief from verbal abuse can still be there somatically even though u love yourself. But ur probably not so emotionally available and embodied to reach that…

Very wise words! It's strange, the more distance I put between me and all my siblings/parents, the more I get the ick thinking about how they projected onto me. They still lash out in forms of micro j…

Some men think that by tearing down women, small and suddenly that it "keeps them in their place" and "focusing on looking good for them" This is a male abusive psy-op. It is totally Red Pill behav…

I am a womam. I am your height, and I was a doctor (until I got a chronic health condition myself) It sounds as if your partner has internalised his mothers toxic eating disordered language as bein…