caused

Hi! Sure, this is my own healing journey, nothing more, nothing less. Everything here comes from sources that I have listed, I relied on their status in the scientific community and didn't go as far a…

Announcement Regarding Community Safety — Dear SEO Members, We are reaching out to address a serious issue that affects the safety and well-being of our moderation team and our community as a whole. It has come to our attention that the CEO …

Why am I losing keywords? — I'm a bit lost. For the past 6 months I have been working on improving the rank of my website. When I first started, I just left an agency that wasn't doing a great job. When I switch from them, they …

Interview for associate devops role, not sure how it went, need opinions — I had a technical discussion with with a smaller company(around 100-200 employees) and they are filling out a new devops team. I have 7 YOE at large tech companies as a software engineer, but my dutie…

E-commerce Industry News Recap 🔥 Week of May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/ecommerce \- I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Every week for the past 3+ years I've posted a summary recap of the week's top stories…

This Week's Top E-commerce News Stories 💥 May 5th, 2025 — Hi r/Shopify - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter, which I've published weekly since 2021. I was invited by the Mods of this subreddit to s…

Impressions dropped significantly. Can not figure out reason — I have very new site launched at start of feb. It is app content made available through site. When I launched my site I had almost 15k public pages ready as the content was from app now just available…

Strange page name changes to en dashes from regular dashes. Bad for G4. — This is a bit of an odd question, but I noticed in google analytics that the page names have changed from a hyphen to a en dash (option + dash) – . The dashes are automatic where it puts the page name…

Anyone facing issue with Cloudflare recently of suddenly not honoring "Access-Control-Allow-Headers" set by origin? — Is anyone facing this recent issue lately where all the sudden, you're getting thrown Access-Control-Allow-Headers error across all proxied domains. Cloudflare proxy, out-of-the-blue, decided not to h…

Shopify Bill Pay - international vendor payments cannot be funded by Shopify Balance anymore — Im not in love with Bill Pay as its so sloppy and support is lazy. Plus they lock down accounts left and right and don't tell anyone. Once the new balance account numbers went out I saw that they were…

How to fix my own FA attachment (ideally without therapy)? — I've been aware of my attachment style for a while now but only recently been annoyed with it enough to want to fix it. I've never been in a relationship because of it and done some admittedly very se…

We should keep in mind that its a spectrum.. — I realized something in my relationship and it is not much shared in this way so maybe it helps someone else I am anxious and my fiancee is avoidant. He is very introverted and trying to deal with hi…

I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …

Can a FA-DA relationship work? — My partners have been dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant, so I have always leaned anxious ig. In my last relationship, I felt secure at the start, it was nice, we set boundaries.. till it happene…

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

Recovering DA trying to reconnect with FA wife — For context: * I (40M) am a DA, my wife (41F) an FA. We have three children. * Together for 17 years, married for 13 years, distant/no-touch for over 10 years but stable and no deep conflicts. * Cont…

Half Day Meditation Workshop For Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Preoccupied: Focusing on the sense of "unpredictable threat" or "uncaused anxiety', this Sunday 7th of December 2025, Donation based. — Half day meditation workshop on healing "anxiety without cause". It's this Sunday December 7th 2025. Donation based. If you can't make a donation due to finances then you can apply for a scholarship…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

Anxious Attachment Injury - Nervous System Stuck in Fight/Flight — TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m struggling to function. I’m asking for nerv…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

I’m trying to recover from my autoimmune issues using available techniques — Wonder if anyone has successfully used their subconscious to reverse autoimmune issues , I’ve become carnivore to eat a clean diet with no inflammatory foods, but was wondering what techniques could b…

I finally realized my fear of closeness is really a fear of being known — I've been working to understand myself better as a DA, in part with the help of Reddit. I now feel the last puzzle pieces fell into place and I finally have a coherent story of why I am the way I am. …

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Feeling “off” after trust rupture — attachment system or intuition? — I have been dating my current partner for about a year now. Long post incoming. I’m posting because I’m noticing a significant avoidant shift in myself and I need perspective specifically on my own at…

Avoidant wins! 🎉🎊 — Meant to put this in thr weekly vent but it's kind of late now. It's amazing what consistency of safety can do to your nervous system. So the main reason I have no real friends is because I fear the e…

I (28F) cut off my in-laws after how they treated me before and during my wedding, but I get anxious when my husband (27M) still talks to them. How do I move on? — TL;DR: My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law insulted me, fat-shamed and color-shamed me before our wedding and caused major drama during the wedding itself. Now they act sweet in front of my husband. I…

Has anyone else experienced something very feeling strange ever since the election of the current American President?? — Hello everyone. This might be an unusual post to make at this time. However, I am looking forward to see if anyone has experienced anything similar or exactly what I have experienced. Before earlier i…

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

If you are a dumper missing your dumpee you caused the pain — IF THE SHOE FITS THEN IT FITS What frustrates me is how often dumpers speak about missing their ex as if that somehow balances the situation. It doesn’t. The critical difference is agency. One person…

My Fiancé kicked me out with only a few hours notice — This is the situation I am in. About a week ago my fiancé (25 M) brought up how he has some problems with me (25 F). We have been together for almost three years. He said he cant bring up sensitive to…

"What does it mean to heal?" channeled message from my guides — I thought to share with you all this excerpt from a channeled conversation between myself and my guides. I love this text a lot and return to it often. Perhaps those of you on a healing journey and t…

Does anyone else watch nostalgic content to regulate their nervous system? — As a millennial, I've discovered that watching nostalgic videos more so from the 90s has really helped me to regulate my nervous system. I don't understand the psychology behind it but it makes me wi…

What am I actually supposed to do in psychotherapy? — I'm in the UK and on NHS therapy. I've done CBT before, up to the high intensity, and am now on "psychodynamically informed psychotherapy". I have a lot of issues caused by trauma through my life and…

Hypomania with MDMA and doubts — In December I had an experience with MDMA that made me increasingly happy until, in mid-January, I was told in the emergency room that I was hypomanic. I was prescribed Olanzapine 7.5 And that caused…

how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? — Four months ago, I broke up with my ex. We were going through a rough patch but from their perspective, it was nothing we hadn't gone through before. I completely blindsided and discarded them (a term…

As an artist, I now can see the reason I loved art, nature, and music so much growing up was a form of escapism from my emotionally neglectful parents — Can anyone else relate? I think when I was younger, getting lost in a painting or paying attention very closely to the natural world around me would help me find joy in a world where I felt extremely …

We’re in a computer simulation — I’ve lived my entire life experiencing all sorts of inexplicable illnesses, and I always thought that they were just coincidences or due to bad genetics. However, after I started reading into **religi…

My experience with NHI's, contact and navigating society. — # Hello! Where do i begin? Firstly, i want to give thanks to this space cultivated by Oak and the other Moderators, without this space, people such as us/me do not really have anywhere to go with a…

It happend!!!!! — After about 6 months of practice I finely had my first lucid dream. Most ppl usually say your first lucid may only last a few seconds and that it takes practice to spawn stuff in but my lucid lasted w…

In Need of Guidance and Advice — Hello Guys! I am going through one of the hardest times in my life. My Father 62, is suffering from early onset Dementia caused by his plethora of Medical Issues and may have to start dialysis in a fe…

I'm learning myself — I'm in my 40s, and I came across Avoidant Attachment about 2 years ago. I made a post on FB about a dating experience I had. He was a great guy. Good job, good father, cool to hang around with, everyt…

Anyone had an encounter with a humanoid ( or creature pretending to be one) during their day to day life? — After seeing the clip of the man that spilled snake repellent on himself then later that day in line at the store the smell caused another person to begin sneezing uncontrollably. That's when he and h…

Understanding the parent who ‘did nothing’ has been really hard for me. My therapist recommended I share. — EDIT: Thank you for being a safe place to share. I feel seen, but also heartbroken that so many of us have this in common. Due to the kind encouragement I received, I have posted links to the three …

Advice on how to deal with parent giving ultimatum over my relationship — I'm a 28 year old gay Asian male currently living in an East Asian country for my job, away from my home country and my parents. All my life, I had a great and loving relationship with my parents. I w…

My homeless mother (literally in a shelter) literally keeps bombarding me with messages about my wedding that she delusionally thinks she's going to attend — You literally have no money, no way to get there, no one wants to help you (because you caused your own homelessness), my partner (we got legally married last year but this is our ceremony with family…

Wife Wants Divorce so She Can Be With Affair Partner — Wife insists we divorce after I caught her having an emotional affair with her coworker. Of course she has all sorts of lies and manufactured reasons why we need to divorce and insists it has nothing …

When it’s finally over with a narc or NPD person — I said this in a comment to someone else’s post but I feel like I should post it here, just in case it helps someone. There’s no way of truly knowing whether or not a person with narcissistic traits…

Goodbye... — I feel so awful for hurting you. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant for you to burn out from me. Not a single day goes by that I’m not thinking about you. I wish I wasn’t a burden. I wish…

First “bad” trip taught me a lot - sharing my experience to help others — I’m 28m, good job, good relationships, physically fit, happy overall. Experienced tripper with several high-dose mushroom trips under my belt. Always had positive experiences. Took 4g mushrooms today…

My parents raised me to just serve people — I'm 22(F) and have moved away from my parents place but might have to go back because it has become too expensive to live alone and my parents bought a bigger house so it would all work out for me if …

Did anyone else find an odd sense of peace when COVID hit and we all had to self isolate? — Small confession: when the pandemic hit and we all had to self isolate, I found an odd sense of.. happiness? You wouldn't believe - (well maybe you guys would) how hard it is to explain my symptoms …

I just want to offer a different perspective. Most manifestation communities are so opposed to people with different opinions and do everything in their power to keep their members in a bubble. People…

Yeah I don't really agree with their point at all. There’s a big difference between a slow burn that feels a bit boring and something that stirs up anxiety, usually because someone’s bringing anxious …

thank you for being vulnerable. After the alarm fades, is there ever an awareness that the metal walls shredded someone on the way up? I understand and empathize with all of this, I just have a hard t…

It doesn’t always mean that though? The hard truth is it is a coping mechanism on both sides.. Using someone to satiate loneliness as well as villainizing someone to allow yourself to detach. They bot…

I have only had to do it a handful of times and each time was caused by a persistent pattern of abusive behavior. Because of that, it is really confusing to me why anyone would cut someone out in a si…

What you are describing is punishment. And while it’s understandable to a degree, it can also cross into territory that is incredibly toxic. For example, one situation that caused this “escalation” w…

As a previous DA, I did not feel guilt once I disengaged from someone because I had reasons for not wanting to be with them anymore. Those reasons may be very immature they may not make a lot of sense…

AT only shifts after healing the core wounds that caused it, cutting out toxic family members can help, but it's rarely the final solution

Fearful avoidant attachment? It’s caused by chaotic caregivers that would alternate between closeness/being loving and distance/being cold. I recommend checking out the Thais Gibson YouTube channel …

“Become someone that doesn’t need to chase someone else”. I’m almost there but I know what you mean. My ex wife made me chase after her and it was so exhausting. We were married so I felt some oblig…

I actually agree with a lot of this. I used to be a completely unaware avoidant. Shut down, withdrew, pushed away people who loved me and then blamed them for needing too much. And for a long time, I…

Is there a reason you’re avoiding therapy? If we’re looking at attachment styles, the theory is that they’re caused by early childhood experiences or trauma later in life. So if you think it’s not sha…

Its really heartbreaking when you view it this way, but suddenly all the puzzle pieces fall into place. Theres even scientific studies that back this up. When parents don't touch their kids enough a…

I def shifted from secure to anxious after the DA discard (first DA ever and first discard experience, man that hurt), had no probs with narcissist getting out of my life, but it was much more traumat…

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

Very helpful explanation. Makes sense. So its rather genuine sharing at the esrly stage your visions of future you are excited about to have wit the person (that eventually is unable to be met as def…

He's not wrong. I've started a business because of this. After various relationships with avoidant woman its become obvious that as a culture we have caused a mistrust within genders. This is fueled b…

I'm FA and have mostly dated FAs. If I got this message, I would also be tempted to respond. I even might do it. But with a very high likelihood, nothing good will come from it. There needs to be…

This is what it came down to with my ex, I know he is not an evil manipulative villain. He is just an emotionally stunted man who can’t identify or handle his emotions. And unfortunately his emotional…

My ex came back 4 times in 2 years. Every time the cycles were the same but condensed, like at first it was long nights of processing our breakup over text and finally meeting up and saying I love yo…

You are more than welcome champ. My advice here is don't have a talk while she is deactivated as that is more than likely going to push her further away. Emotional deregulation is a behaviour caused…

This is definitely not true. You can still get attracted to them. Especially avoidants tend to be very charming, successful and if the person is smart or you share a lot of common interests, until the…

i actually really like this. i think folks are quick to dismiss the perspective because they haven’t experienced someone genuinely working to understand them and meet them where they’re at. also becau…

Could very well be. I had another friend who I think was FA and I was close to for many years but part of me knew I had to walk on eggshells to a degree because she would suddenly end close friendship…

Chatbots have caused severe psychosis and mental breaks in people in crisis, not to mention completely neurotypical people just looking for answers. All it does is agree with you and mirror you. It fe…

Same situation. Anxious attachment and limerence. This has been more painful than any breakups I've had. Here is what I recommend  - Go low contact since no contact is not possible in your case. Out o…

Thanks for sharing. What were the stereotypical things a FA does that caused the relationship to end the first time? How long did that last?

Also noted that his apology about how he was "toward the end" is followed up by "I'd love to talk to you about what was going on," implying there was a *thing*, probably situational, that caused him t…

Hello yall maybe I can find some support in here, I'll try to simplify as much as I can. So me and ex partner/best friend reconnected about 2 months ago and we both said we're gonna do our best. No la…

I am, Im not sure on their end. There seems to be flickers of romance but its too soon to truly know. But this is perhaps the struggle, I dont know what to make of their actions. Sometimes they reply …

I struggled with this for years. First of all what I learned is that when I get anxious from not receiving texts, I remember that that is a response caused by seeing texting or the lack of it as a “t…

Not OP but I had this experience. At first, it felt great because we had this never-ending cycle of both constantly giving and receiving reassurance on an endless loop. After a few months, I moved tow…

I'm going through it with a friend and just need some perspective. I'm not sure what type of avoidant attachment they are, just that they have expressed being avoidant. I'm AP, trying to move towards …

Text of original post by u/Positive-Entrance193: In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 2…

I think my boyfriend (33M) and I (30F) might break up and I can’t tell if it’s my fault. This might be a long story so I’m sorry in advance. My boyfriend and I usually text most of the day, every day…

Already started therapy a couple weeks after breakup.  As far as engagement I thought that's what she may have wanted...I think she did in the moment, but it triggered something in her.  I was there f…

Im sorry you were in a situation like this, it sounds very painful. Leaving her attachment aside, Im also a FA and, I think going on a date with a new dude next day after breaking up with you can’t be…

You’re really doing great - this is just so hard! I’m gonna say something that might sound counterintuitive and blasphemous, but I hope you’ll stick around to read my long winded explanation of why 😅…

Alright I’m in a little bit of a similar situation, let me give my two cents. I know it’s really hard, but please don’t take it personally. To be honest, as an avoidant it was really hard for me to …

Are there any reputable workbooks or videos that are recommended to explore what caused me to be AA? I'm trying to understand what led to this, I guess.

Thank you. Our relationship was closer to family than romantic. We're both hapily married & I'm a good deal older than her. This is all very new to me, know I have these feelings, that these attac…

I don’t have advice but you perfectly worded one of my main struggles in dating and relationships in general especially the fear of never trusting anyone and just always being so picky and particular …

That is the exact reason that made me feel anxious in relationships. I used to be very independent and confident. Until i got cheated on and gaslighted. Then I got cheated on and gaslighted. Then …

I appreciate how much time you put into this. It’s well written and you’ve got some genuinely interesting ideas here. That said, it’s important to add some context so people don’t mistake this for set…

I been out my last relationship for 3 months. Looking back I can see I was anxious and codependent. With that I was a caretaker trying to help become more open, share more, make more decisions, and so…

Security can sometimes feel boring after coming from a push-pull dynamic. It’s only a problem if you’re actively turned off to sex with your partner. Honeymoon phases *can* last six months to two …

Hello, I am in a relationship which is neither strictly platonic nor romantic. We are both neurodivergent and asexual and met 6-ish months ago, hence the seemingly strange nature of our relationship. …

Do you have a problem or some emotional attachment to this issue because you seem very bothered lol. Like I said he had a medical condition which is what caused my thoughts to spiral. I never didn’t t…

Attachment styles comes from how your adults care for you when you're very young, newborn-2yrs. Anxious attachment is caused from inconsistent parenting, so as a baby you didn't always know if your ne…