book
Love bombing
Evidence
Citations (86)
"Love bombing" and anxious attachment — At tonight's Anxious Attachment Healing Group meeting, we read the following reading: **1. “Love bombing” and anxious attachment** “Love bombing” is a pattern of excessive, intense affection and at…
Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…
The fear of intimacy — I have started to realise that anxious attachment is also a fear of intimacy rather than only avoidantly attached people. I think many of us (when triggered) can prefer to live in the fantasy of a per…
When it’s finally over with a narc or NPD person — I said this in a comment to someone else’s post but I feel like I should post it here, just in case it helps someone. There’s no way of truly knowing whether or not a person with narcissistic traits…
Daffodils on a first date? — I'm late 30s M, she's early 30s F, this would be for a *first date* (an early dinner of wine and tapas at a cute wine bar). **Context:** I grow thousands of flowers throughout the season, and have h…
The dangerous 'toxic positivity' of AI therapy: A personal story — **TL;DR:** I used a customized Gemini "Gem" as a complementary therapist, but it completely failed to spot a predator. The AI interpreted extreme red flags (love bombing, gaslighting, and manipulation…
The best and 5 worst things I did after 5 breakups in 12 years chasing unavailable partners, and I just got marriaged on 2.14.2026 — I've been through 5 painful breakups over the last decades, all with the same pattern: I'd chase someone emotionally/physically unavailable—either a cheater or straight-up avoidant—who'd pull away jus…
How can I build a personal life that doesn’t depend on other people? — Hi Reddit!! I really need an outside perspective on my situation, because I feel like I’m completely lost in where I’m going and what I actually want from my life… Maybe people who have learned to man…
Sometimes i just wish people could understand the psychological damage these evil people cause — You work with this individual who's always smiling, happy, flirty and chatty. Wow it must be tiring keeping this mask on all the time. I just wish people could really understand how love bombing work…
I (24F) am pregnant by my (27M) boyfriend after a toxic relationship full of love bombing, lies, and sexual assault. I feel like i have no way out. What should I do? — Hi Reddit, I don’t even know where to start, but I’m at my breaking point and I really hope you can help me. I’m 24, my boyfriend is 27. We’ve been together for two years and have been living togethe…
Fiancé ended our 12 year relationship after meeting a new guy — Caitlyn, I'm sorry, and I miss you and still love you. I can't function. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do, and I don't know how much of this was me, and how much of this was him. Everyone has to…
Did they ever really care? — 1st - I'm not a doctor, I can't say she has NPD, I can only say that I experienced some strange things in the relationship which could align with someone suffering from that condition. Long story sh…
Narcissists use love as a cloaking device — This healing business is no joke. I may have figured out some extra personal stuff recently that I haven't mentioned on here. But I don't even feel the need to post it because I've already said soo mu…
27 M my first gf left me for another man. — I don’t have my first relationship until I was 24. I met her (let’s call her Ashley) while working fast food after I stopped going to college due to Covid & tuition. She was a typical alternative type…
29 M, living separately from wife since 2 months. Troubled marriage of 2 years (17th Feb, 2024). Is Divorce Imminent? Also having doubt regarding future career and wealth creation prospects — Living separately from wife since Feb 2026. Had an arranged marriage setup with majority of the Gunn matching (around 27 out of 36 Gunn matching as per pandit). Had good tuning initially but around th…
Do survivors of narc abuse... Get drawn to each other? — After a long marriage and then separation from my nex, I've been "dipping" into dating again. On 4 different occasions (in fact all of them really) where I have "clicked" with someone and we get to k…
I miss my ex like crazy even tho they where not good for me how do I get over them ? — I’m (16) (F) and I don’t know if he even was my ex i didn’t even know his name and he only gave me his spam account never his main account…. maybe it was this savior complex I had or a hard time say…
Forget my type - Help — 46f, I left a 7yr relationship last May. It was pretty uneventful, I have 2 kids from a previous relationship. I am used to being with someone and being alone. I have a relationship history of physic…
How do I ‘31M’ fight for someone I love ‘28F’ properly? — Hello I ‘31M’ am attempting to rekindle a relationship with my ex ‘28F’ after some time in no contact. If you want the TLDR: how do you fight for someone you love when it’s been 7 months of no conta…
Please give me advice — I don’t have anyone else to rant to and I have no idea what to do anymore. I met this guy in November 2025 on his bday, everything was so good between us up until mid December he started talking to th…
I want to forgive my ex and get out of this toxic cycle. — I am an introvert, hardly cuss or raise my voice. But since my breakup and the discard , something worst has come out of me. His lies, love bombing, the hot and cold behaviour, treating me like one ni…
Do men still believe in love at first sight these days? — I \[27F\]met my man \[34M\] at a coffee shop downtown just a few days ago and now we’re dating. I think some part of me just knew he was the one. I think he also felt that way. Thing is, I’ve had almo…
Just bought a collectible toy off Depop for myself for the first time ever — And I didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty no love bombing it’s my credit card and I’ll spend it how I want who cares if my hobby is silly?
This is why narcissists love to end long term relationships by ghosting and NEVER accept any responsibility for their actions — In a narcissist's mind, everything is about maintaining their sense of control over others. For them, nothing else is important. In their warped minds, ending a relationship with a sudden, unexpected …
What is love bombing? — Im 23M and my partner is 26M. I had a talk with someone today and they said that what I was experiencing from him was considered "love bombing" but I dont really know what that is besides that it's co…
Love bombed again and I hate it — I’m so grossed out with myself for falling for it again. I didn’t want anything serious. Yet he went all in: flowers, sweets, introducing me to his parents and friends, walking me home… the perfect w…
Do you ever feel like you lost the “innocence” of love after a narc breakup? — I just remember thinking how in love I was. How I felt like I found my person, and how it was us against the world (during the love bombing phase). How everything felt right and how I couldn’t wait to…
A year post-discard — It’s been about 14 months since he finally discarded me (February 16, 2025). During the relationship he actually “discarded” me many times — probably around 10 times. Every small conflict or inconveni…
Some notes from a healing codependent — Hey! With all the negative-leaning (has its place!) stories and thoughts on here, I thought I'd give a bit of my own learnings, and positive moments, to show healing IS possible. Since I don't wanna…
1 Month NC. He sent an IG request but I know he's still hooking up. The urge to break NC is destroying me. — I met for a hookup a guy (24yo) but it turned into something much deeper and we both caught feelings. We spent over two months constantly together, with him initiating about 90% of the contact. He wa…
Was I her rebound? — For context, she had two exes before me and she was my first. When we first met (friends set us up), I didn’t really feel a connection, but I decided to give it a try anyway because I had been single…
Was this love bombing and financial exploitation or am I overthinking? — I met a woman on a dating app in November 2025. She’s from Delhi. We exchanged numbers and started talking regularly late night voice and video calls, almost every day. Over time, I started developing…
Update #2 of Wife Cheated on me in Jamaica. — It has been a while since I posted on this forum, or at least about what's going on with me, I feel like I have enough to make an update. To everyone who is new or needs a recap, last year I got marr…
Dating around - musicians — 41F single mom. Lately I’ve been dating around mainly because I had tons of matches on a dating app and thought I might as well! That never happens. All 3 of the guys I met up with are musicians by so…
I have severe attachment issues and its deeply affecting my everyday life. — I dont know what to do. Im not entirely sure if im just crazy weirdo for being like this. I met this guy not even month ago. We never met but we text everyday and know so much about eachother. I dont …
Ended up dating a narc (I think) — So I want to preface this person was 18M and I had known of them since they were 14. From what I knew of them they were relatively nice, insecure, unattractive, smart, had family issues, and deeply un…
Right. It’s starting to feel like a circle jerk (that I am definitely a part of). I think people get confused because of the cognitive dissonance of them being caring and love bombing and then neglect…
You might want to look into relationship attachment styles, love bombing, and whether you're mistaking the slow burn as boring because it's stable and consistent. The excitement ppl often feel is actu…
I question myself, for sure, which only leads me to ignore the initial red flags (love bombing, rushing to intimacy and commitment, neediness, etc.) I tell myself that I am being paranoid, that I am…
Yeah and it's not that avoidants are lying, they actually like the love bombing stage. They actively choose to instigate that. U never see AA lovebombing avoidants in the beginning. Avoidants are l…
So like love bombing? Then detachment?
It’s not love bombing because I become anxious, so more like needy and attached as they pull away.
Mmmm... I think it sounds more like a DA falling in love in general. What you describe as being APs "neediness" of a romantic relationship I see as the first stages of a relationship for a DA aka DAs …
The demonization of avoidant people really annoys me. I'm fearful avoidant so I see all perspectives in this and yeah avoidance is hurtful, neglect is painful, creating space through fights is toxic a…
Interestingly enough my DA and FA exes did the opposite of all these in the beginning of the rls but slowly revealed their dismissing of emotions and keeping me at a distance after the honeymoon and l…
Love bombing and future faking ( talking about moving in and marriage in the first weeks, gifts/ compliments upfront before they even know you if a big red flag 🚩secure people take their time and don…
Listen to how they talk about their exes, and if they tend to be the one to leave, also watch for love bombing during that time
Learning this after holding onto the thought of a reunion with a DA for the last 3 weeks (she broke up with me). I read similar Reddit and YouTube replies but I wanted the honeymoon phase back and tho…
Does Anxious Attachment always stem from childhood or can it develop from adulthood? I ask b/c I (40M) have always felt very secure, not much anxiety, good relationships with parents/siblings/friends…
Don't go back to FA. I'm planning to break up with mine again after the patterns repeated again and he lashed out at me in an argument. It was the worst blow up we've ever had and the things he said t…
I hate to tell you this, but you only knew him 5mon. You didn’t even really see the real him till 2 weeks ago. You guys moved way too fast and yes it does sound like you are codependent based on how y…
I went through a devastating break up three years ago. My ex was a dismissive avoidant. We were in couples therapy before the breakup. I kept seeing the same therapist after the breakup and that’s whe…
You’re not leading someone on by slowly getting to know them. Leading someone on = forcing emotional intimacy, making promises about the future, love bombing, that sort of thing.
I think the love bombing. Planning to many dates. No exciting things etc I'm not really sure so I'm sorry If I'm wrong somewhere
This is the answer. “Boring” = secure There’s nothing to guess or ruminate about. They show up for you, every time. Reassure you, make themselves physically and emotionally available. And that’s wha…
I have done the journey :) you're always going to have a secondary, but now I'm Secure leaning anxious. After an avoidant discard I became primarily anxious but the worst is over. When an avoidant…
Text of original post by u/TheOceanTheSun: At tonight's Anxious Attachment Healing Group meeting, we read the following reading: **1. “Love bombing” and anxious attachment** “Love bombing” is a pat…
I feel like anxious attachers are more vulnerable to love bombing from avoidants or narcissists than love bombers themselves.
I was the ‘victim’ of love bombing. But it felt genuine. It felt good. Never voiced his insecurities. I’m sure he loved me. But then it changed overnight and he just disappeared without explanation. I…
Maybe not :). For me,, in-between 'love bombing' and 'healthy attraction" is "infatuation ". Infatuation and love bombing can be very difficult to distinguish but infatuation can still be healthy and…
Yes. The term Lovebombing is being thrown around a lot and often used incorrectly online. The real definition is when someone does it with malicious intent as a manipulation tactic. I also think anxio…
i dont think this is necessarily true; i think APs can absolutely be too intense at the start of a relationship. like one of the anxious attachment "things" is rushing into a relationship before knowi…
Damn, spitting truth bombs. My ex dumped me... Because HE needed "peace"... Over text... After 5 months of dating... Right after the first time I managed to find the courage to assert some boundaries…
Same here, especially when they all wanna go on dates on the same weekend. I always tend to zero in on the one I feel more connected to. I lost momentum with one that was love bombing me and making th…
I’m going on a date with a guy I met through speed dating last week. We’ve been talking everyday, I’m excited to see him tonight. He’s emotionally available and has been open and honest with me, this …
Text of original post by u/Alarmed-Most-2410: I have started to realise that anxious attachment is also a fear of intimacy rather than only avoidantly attached people. I think many of us (when trigger…
Had three good dates with a guy I felt a very strong intellectual click with: from the first minute we seemed to fire off and kept on jumping through topics together, for hours on end, despite only me…
I personally think that emotions are a source of wisdom and anyone who was ever healthy for me made me feel peaceful and calm, not anxious, stressed and overwhelmed. Him telling you you’re the one aft…
I mean it sounds like this guy love bombs and then ghosts. He’s lying on both sides. Lying about how interested he is and then when he’s got a lead on someone new he’s love bombing them. It’s a trai…
I know this is an old post but here’s my FA take.. I have idealized romantic partners in the past. Yes. I don’t do it anymore since I’m married now, older and have a lot more awareness of my patterns…
re love bombing- idk he seems to be saying normal sweet compliments here and there (youre beautiful, missed you, etc) , cuddling, good morning texts, flowers one day for no reason. he’s not saying any…
I think the concept of love bombing is similar to all the attachment theory bullshit you see being slung around casually by armchair psychologists. Being nice is not the same thing as love bombing. Lo…
I'm so glad I don't fall for love bombing anymore. Anytime someone spends 3 hours on a video call with me or showers me with compliments before a 1st or even 3rd meeting, I externally smile and my int…
I love that my mind immediately flags the love bombing now.
Watching the latest season of Love is Blind and one guy reminds me of a guy I dated a while ago. Just a bunch of love bombing and talking about nothing. I feel shame for my younger self.
I was dating someone for two months and ended things two weeks ago. I feel stupid because he was obviously love bombing me which I called out but because I was also very excited and I thought we had a…
I’m so sorry that happened to you, what an extra shitty experience to have after a celibacy spell, jesus. I don’t blame you for wanting to swear off dating. But don’t let this asshat ruin things for y…
What is the difference between love bombing and genuinely being a warm earnest person? I tend to give a lot in general, even with friends, but I dont expect the same back and know people won’t necessa…
Lots of people love bomb without any malice intended. There could be malice present , but malice is not required to make it love bombing. For people who don't understand attachment styles, love bombi…
That's why I asked... sometimes it comes together, sometimes it doesn't. I think if there isn't love bombing in the scene, it's not really a red flag. Perhaps just different communication styles.
I’ve never heard of love bombing (but English isn’t my native language) but I guess yes, we have different communication styles. The red flag was more about the photos though, not the texting
Haha, NEVER THAT!!!! I like your style 😝 Okay, from what I gather he is actually 100 what people refer to as love bombing. Literally done with the intention of getting laid. Makes zero sense to me…
Sorry...in a similar situation... I sensed the compatibility thing right away but ignored it. I think he sensed it and wanted to sleep with me before dumping me .... But I figured it out so I refused…
fwiw i dont think he was love bombing or future faking i think he was just trying to sleep with you from what this sounds like. the person that i was talking about in my above comment was basically ju…