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Update: Self-help group for anxious attachment — Thank you to everyone who responded to my [**prior post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/1plm1g1/selfhelp_group_for_anxious_attachment/) re starting a self-help group. (Yes, The…
I want love but can't push past knowing that I would be a burden in all of my relationships — Hi, I am a 26F and want to seek some advice from this subreddit because I truly do not know who else I can talk about this with, and writing has always been easier than talking out loud. Sidenote: I …
Tired of people asking me for stuff... — I don't know how else to put this but I'm tired of people asking me to do stuff for them all the time.. it's at work (that's different, it's fine it's work.) But like my mom, my roommate, my friends..…
What s month it's been — The title says it all. Confronted my wife last month on the 7th last month at 1 am and learned that she cheated on me and was talking with someone. This was after an emotional affair that I discovered…
I (28F) care deeply about my fiancé (28M) but feel like the romantic connection has faded after years of imbalance. How do you know when it’s truly over? — From a burner account. I’m looking for some perspective because I feel like I’m at the end of a long internal process and I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if this is just the reality of where my re…
People of dating over 40... — I'm going to preface this that I am well aware we're all busy. We have jobs, might have kids, have other commitments, I get it. I fully understand that. However... Why might you take days or even …
I (22f) entered a relationship with a set date but no longer want it to end. My bf (22m) won’t reconsider and it’s breaking my heart. — I moved to a new country overseas to work for 6 months and on my 2nd day of arrival I went on a date with a guy (22M). We’ve been inseparable ever since. We’re both from Europe (only 1 hour flight apa…
Mom threatening suicide if I don't come back — That's it. I ran across the country, they followed and after a bunch of police interference they went home. I keep getting texts on my old burner from them and this morning my dad said my mom would k…
The friend zone after sex; how many actually do it? — Relatively quick question just to gauge other experiences. My most recent relationship was short, intensely sexual, and apparently one-sided in romantic attachment as she broke things off after 2 mont…
i broke up with my partner of 3.5 years - advice? — burner acc as i just need to get this out and it’s kinda long, but would appreciate queer perspectives as it’s kinda relevant. but on friday, i broke up with my partner of 3.5 years (basically out of…
I stumbled on my husband’s reddit account. One of them, anyway. — I’ll probably delete this, but right now I need to get it out, to call my nerves and be there for my kids. My hands are a little shaky. I was certainly not expecting this today. Or any day. I was goi…
The version of me she knew deserved to lose her. — Today is her birthday. It’s bringing up all kinds of feelings. I honestly feel sick today. I feel like I have only recently been able to truly reflect on things, and I’m finally facing who I was and w…
he’s in my state right now — i ended it 34 days ago even though things were good and i loved him. bc he said his family would never accept me and he knew marriage is impossible from the start but “intentionally avoided that conve…
he broke nc on a burner acc, called him out on it and he deactivated right away — i’m just going to rant, ghosting me in the first place, then you coming back and me giving you a second chance was generous enough. he “wasn’t ready” for a relationship so i went NC for my own sake. …
Tell me what to do internet strangers — I just wanted to put this out into the world in hopes that getting it out of my head will help. Two years ago, I (40) discovered that my husband (43) has been cheating on me with a woman he met on tin…
Why do people get offended when I don't want to be "friends" after a breakup? — I tried talking to some friends about this and they don't understand it either so I'm hoping someone here could give me some insight. I don't know if this is relevant, but I'm a 29 year old nonbinar…
Don’t love husband and never have — using a burner for obvious reasons. I (F40) thought I would grow to love my husband (M37). I married him bc he was kind and had the means with which to take care of me and give me a secure life. I sti…
Ex burner account, how do you know it? — I’ve noticed my ig stories get viewed from a strange profile - no profile picture, no followers, no followed accounts. When I started to track back when did I notice this, I realized I’ve only seen i…
She did it by text — My wife shot me a long text about 3 weeks back. she wants a divorce, she had packed some things and left while I was at work. We hadnt been fighting, money has been tight but she started a new job 2 m…
Anger rant — So im 31 this year and decided to go back to therapy but not talk therapy, im in CBT/DBT therapy. I know that things are supposed to suck before they get good but I just feel so much anger and rage.…
I actually need physical proof or an admittance of guilt? — Pretty sure I already know. My profession involves data analysis and pattern recognition. Unfortunately, I also have residual trauma that provides a substantial foundation for self doubt, projection,…
Two weeks without contact after fallout, should i be doing more? — hello! Im writing this from a burner account just in case. For context Im F20+ from an Asian family and am studying abroad, living by myself. Im in a lesbian long distance relationship for a few year…
Im lost unsure of what to do next — This is intentionally my burner account. If not applicable to mods, I understand. I'm 35 M. Gay. Jewish heritage & struggling or trying to cope with Nmom & how to "mentally let go" from her fear of …
CA Divorce - Using Spouse's expected inheritance as context for non 50/50 settlement. Enforceable? — Burner account. Background: I'm initiating a divorce after 14 years of marriage in California. I'm the primary earner by a significant margin — I've generated roughly 70% of our household income thr…
Progressing through this hurts — I've always been the leaning in partner in my marriage. I overcompensated in our relationship and just kept it alive by brute force of will, in spite of my wife having doubts and not feeling how she w…
How to handle guilt of messing up with partner? — Hello all, this is a burner account (just so you know). But I have recently been told I show co-dependent traits by my therapist. And honestly, it has been really helpful because I’m able to put my fi…
I 27/F need advice about my 29/M boyfriend. Is he planning on leaving or? — I need a males POV please So it’s bit of a long story but i will kinda keep it short. We broke up back in June of 2025 but we were still sleeping together up until January. Last week of January he to…
Autistic brother gets violent, not sure how to handle situation — So, I am using a burner account for anonymity. I hope I can gain some insight or advice from those who might have experienced something similar. My brother (19) has autism and can be quick to anger. …
So… what now? — Last saw narcissist parents in November, last messaged in February. I’m ok with building a HEALTHY relationship on my terms. Told them give me some dates to arrange a neutral location chat in my area …
Ex broke no contact after 3 years. — So late night last week I got a text from my ex from 3 years ago. We were together for 3 years until she dumped me suddenly and blocked me on everything. I thought she was the love of my life. I went …
Deal for a deal 🤝 — I'm making an ig burner account, and i want to make it look legit so I would need ur follow on that. and in return I can follow people whom u want to know about. I'm a girl, and I would be watching …
Ex keeps demanding closure meeting and won't take no for an answer — I (27F) need honest opinions because I feel like I’m going crazy trying to understand this situation. I was in a long-distance relationship with my ex (25M) for about 2 years, and the cycle was alway…
Text of original post by u/TheOceanTheSun: Thank you to everyone who responded to my [**prior post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AnxiousAttachment/comments/1plm1g1/selfhelp_group_for_anxious_attachment/…
OP here again: I have picked a time for our regular Zoom meeting. I'd also like your help with shaping the meeting guidelines, format, and content. More details in my update post: [https://www.redd…
OP here. See the other comments from me in this thread. Add your email here, totally fine to use an anonymous email or burner email, to get the zoom link for the meeting: [https://forms.gle/BTo6RVqJW…
👍🏽 Add your email here, totally fine to use an anonymous email or burner email, to get the zoom link for the meeting: https://forms.gle/BTo6RVqJWJ4PkSpG9
I'm confused, I'm distraught, I am lost. I've spent 10 months loving him, and learning him, and adjusting, and ignoring my needs for his needs, and the day I felt that something was wrong, I in fact w…
I hate to tell you this….and it’s not really something you want to hear right now. But your negative thoughts are connected to the fact that you are abandoning yourself by holding on to this relations…
LITERALLY! Two guys asked for my instagram; one cancelled the date three hours beforehand and never followed up to reschedule, and the other just liked about 25 pictures and never planned a date even …
this landed hard because i've been there too — not exactly your story, but that feeling of being a burden before you even open your mouth. what hit me reading your post: "my needs were often put on t…
Had a nice date last night. Good drinks and a really nice (and refreshing) mix of light and heavy conversation. Kept it pretty short at 2.5hrs (wait, is this actually short?) and then walked her to …
Randomly had a guy I met up with once add me to instagram last night, and then after I blocked him a burner account was lurking on my stories. I blocked that too. I’m really bored with this stuff.
Am i cooked? im 34 years old, and ive put relationships and such on the backburner for 10+ years now. Now that ive decided i no longer am content being alone, ive tried all the dating sites. Problem i…
If they have been texting since you were exclusive that is such horrible behavior for both you and her. I can’t imagine “he didn’t want to hurt her”. He was keeping on the back burner for a reason. N…
As others have pointed out, sounds like you do care, so either come clean with that or I think you need to be the bigger person and cut things back to just the hobby time. If I was to be bold it soun…
Finally unfollowed/removed my ex from all my social media (6 weeks post-breakup). The first one, Instagram, was hard. There were over two years of shared memories and I had to work up to it mentally. …
I want to date because I’m lonely and don’t have many friends, just moved to a new area and going out on dates is something to do. But it’s also very obvious to me once we get to date number 2-4+ that…
She’s trying to find a new boyfriend but also trying to keep you on the back burner in case it doesn’t work out.
My first breakup hit me harder than anything else I've been through, and I'll never forget the feeling of my face burning up just reading her name or thinking of her with a new partner. It's one of th…
Just a heads up - your ex is likely going to keep watching your stories even though you unfollowed each other. My ex did the same thing, including with burner accounts even though she was in another r…
You should get a new number on a burner phone. Tell him you’ve given it to everyone, but only give it to him. See what happens
He needs to get a completely different number. A new phone will do nothing because it keeps the same number. I’m sure it would be a hassle to completely switch over before anything is proven, so you s…
Ok hear me out...you should try it the other way around. Don't ask him to get a new number. Keep your old phone, BUT FIRST Remotely log out of EVERYTHING connected to it...you said you're not tech sav…
They have all the means at their disposal to do a forensic examination of both telephones and where the sender was located when the texts were sent. They can recover deleted messages. What is seriousl…
The burner app is also an option! I have a Google voice number, but when I set it up I don’t think I was able to get a number with a local area code. I can set up numbers on the burner app to have a l…
He is denying it- but not trying to figure it out. So he knows what’s going on. Save all the messages and don’t block him. But I’d get a burner phone to carry around to use in the meantime just to s…
Ooooh I like the idea of planting a false narrative. If you are on the same phone plan, you can also get the records for all of the text messages for all of the phones and look through them and even i…
I went through a very similar situation. Without sugarcoating, it sounds like you’re sitting yourself up for a huge disappointment and an even worse heartbreak (yes, worse). During my attempt to win h…
Texting her from a burner letting her know that I'd found her number after I'd caught an STD from my "husband" and using a random name... More than once... led me to discover that I can grab a burner …
I block/delete after things end, and most of my break ups were on good, mutual terms. There is no opportunity to come back. I did date one guy years ago who tried reaching out a few times and didn’t s…
This exact situation happened to an acquaintance of mine. Her husband died very young (approximately 30years old)- they were together for at least 10 years at that time, and married for approximately …
I’ve been wondering the same thing. Trying to move on from a being the guy that was basically the safe space for a woman in a 3 year abusive engagement. She confided many deep things in me late at n…
That’s a good message. I kinda want to send something along the same lines to my ex. On a burner number. Because she blocked me
Original copy of post by u/Thick-Screen-7228: I'm going to preface this that I am well aware we're all busy. We have jobs, might have kids, have other commitments, I get it. I fully understand that. …
No notifications, don’t check the app if I’m in another headspace all day. Might take 1-3 days. No time on the calendar til later in the week so not front running the convo. I’m not trying to be addi…
If it takes them a week to respond, I'm not even going to waste any more of my energy with them. Clearly they have zero respect for you and they have an inflated view of themselves if they think that'…
You're on the back burner, deal with it 😄
If you cant get your clothes to the car; leave them behind. Clothes are easy to get. Just ct as if youre heading for school in the morning as usual and dont look back. Your school may be able to he…
They know of my friend but not where he lives. I actually will only be staying with him a few days before heading out across the country so I think I'll be okay. I have a seperate burner phone I just …
It was terrible. I ended up having to pay her thousands to leave after years of destruction* and abuse. I sold the home and moved far far away so that she cannot reach me anymore. She’s become a stalk…
I don’t think there’s any hard fast rule as I am in contact with a couple old flames. One is my lifelong friend that I dated in college that I am strictly platonic with. We’ve both been married and …
Ok he is lying to you because if he actually got hurt AT WORK he would be on workmanscomp which pays 2/3 your wage but is tax free. But onto a bigger point which is ,"why stay with this man?" He li…
Indeed. I learned the hard way in my first marriage by putting sexual compatibility on the back burner. We had a great run but that was definitely an issue that you cannot resolve later on the marriag…
One guy I never got past the sex conversation with. We were together months. He was upfront about his side effect from his anxiety medication. After the topic came up multiple times, we decided to end…
I was surprised at how little I knew myself. I feel like I was stuck as a movie character who didn't have enough character development to be interesting. I feel like i was who I thought he wanted me t…
Get a burner phone and start leaving your “tracked” phone in your dorm. Set up your own bank account now. This level of control is not normal or healthy-
Well I have time to text. I don't have time to meet up when I have my kid. I don't want to get a sitter for a date - I don't want to put time with my kid on a backburner to go on a date with a person …
If she knows this is bothering you so much and is gas lighting your feelings, it is just cruel. Sounds like you are just on the back burner until she does cross the line, and you are just feeling eve…
Congrats on the escape, OP! Also, don’t just get a new phone number, get a whole new phone. If they have the IMEI and they owned the phone, they can and will track it. Get a burner for now and give th…
I've been following your story. What you did took insane courage. Now that you're safe, get a burner phone and a new number. Assume everything electronic you brought with you is compromised. Check you…
Oh, gosh, hon. This is what we warned you about. You’re still going to feel a ton of feelings for them. *That is completely valid and even normal.* I repeat: what you are feeling is completely normal…
Throw away the burner phone.