bending over backwards

I don't understand all the salty responses that talk about "bending over backwards". If you have anxious attachment, you will need to do attachment work to make sure your side of the equation isn't co…

How do I tell my boyfriend he is wasting my time? — I, 21F have been dating my boyfriend, 24M for almost 3 years now. Recently more than ever it seems as though he never wants to do things I want to do... like, not even consider it. We always end up pl…

I was the problem and the reason for the breakup and its destroying me — I am 23F, and my ex-boyfriend is 22M. Basically, this has been such a bad past year for me. I moved back down to be with him in our college town (it's a big city, so it wasn't weird to move back, and …

Did anyone else completely lose their self-respect? — I was in a complicated relationship with a man for about 6 months, and during that time he discarded me constantly. I think he dumped me around 10 times in that short period. Almost every time we ha…

But isn't it just you bending over backwards while she's exactly where she was? This sounds like a project and you can see positive results so it might feel good. But imagine, there's someone out ther…

Haha, I'm not looking for an applause, just sharing what worked for me. Maybe it might help someone else, maybe it might not. Anyhow, for me, bending over backwards would be to give into their needs …

>But if you were me and you had just discovered attachment theory, wouldn't you at least try use that new information to work on a solution? I think EVERY anxiously attached person in an anxious/avoi…

So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…

Thank you so much. I started reading "why does he do that" last night and I started crying because I saw so much of him and our dynamic in it. I feel like I'm in this state of sickening shock. The jus…

I want to break up with my anxiously attached friend. I just can't handle the level of intensity she demands. She can't take no for an answer ever, we went on a month trip to Japan and every time we d…

Part of it is that even when I was just trying to make friends (but also relevant with dating), I heard too much “we should hang out some time” without follow through. Now I match people’s energies an…

It sounds like your boyfriend isn’t an animal/pet person in general and that to me personally is a pretty big deal breaker as an animal lover myself. Hindsight is 20/20 obviously but if he thought BIR…

Stop bending over backwards to appreciate him if he's not interested in returning the favor

So this limp dick won’t even take basic advice on how to use condoms, will let you service him sexually and does not care about your pleasure at all…why are you bending over backwards to make it work …

I just thought my mom was really mean… I thought she was strict, and a helicopter parent. So this past January when my trauma informed therapist hit me with a cptsd dx due to my mother… my whole worl…

You are a married single mom. He isn't a good father if he can't do the bare minimum of cleaning up the home they live in. The fact that you work at least 5 different jobs (your salary job, mother, ho…

Ok, so this amazing man and husband emotionally cheated on you, doesn’t ever help you with anything unless you ask, and now he gets mad at you for *checks notes* being sick?! I mean, I’m not surprise…

Your husband is lazy and you are falling for it, bending over backwards to understand or find the “magic words”. Did you marry a stupid person? Don’t think so - he knows if he complains to you, you wi…

I always think of the scene “Kiss the Girl” in The Little Mermaid. It takes everyone trying to set the right mood, get her in the right outfit, her playing shy and hopeful…all waiting for him to decid…

You are bending over backwards and doing way more than is even healthy to “meet her needs”. Sadly someone who is that jealous and insecure nothing will even be enough. It’s like an endless void that n…

Honestly I think he's taking offense to keep everyone else apologetic and bending over backwards to appease him. He's the attacker ("How dare you misspeak!") but acts like he's the victim. Look up DAR…

Interesting take when it's pretty well known that (for the most part) by the time a woman leaves, she's done and was done a long time ago. It's generally after making every effort to get her partner t…

I completely identify with your feelings, and I think it's incredibly common for children who have been neglected. I'm 40 now and have been through A LOT of therapy, but I'm only just coming to terms …

girl honestly it sounds like he’s using guilt as an excuse to stay comfortable and avoid effort you can’t force someone to be a friend or care about you the way you deserve five years is a long time a…

Let me get this straight she was sexually assaulting other men before so she always been this way you chose to ignore it because at the time it wasn’t your man she did it to. Now it’s your husband now…

All. The. Time. I still get a bad mix of emotions. Like I clearly needed you guys. Other people got that positive attention, and somehow I got dropped like a bad habit. It haunts me. I don't think…

yeah the wall of text is brutal but i powered through it op you've been bending over backwards for months trying to fix this and he's not meeting you halfway. like you made mistakes sure but you'v…

Spend some time thinking about ways to be less worried about everyone else, this is your wedding and you are already an anxiety mess. Be more selfish, it’s literally one of the few times the culture c…

When a partner brings up a boundary that’s being crossed, most people who truly didn’t intend anything inappropriate respond with transparency and course-correction. They usually become **more** open …

This marriage is not going to last if you constantly put your family’s wants first. Sure, respect what your family wants but you're bending over backwards for them. At some point your “wife” is the on…

The wedding prep has shown her in perfect microcosm that your family is quite a bit much. Nothing wrong with that…except…when it derails YOUR LIFE with her. You didn’t really explain what your parent…