slow burn

So pardon the length (I haven't told anyone yet) and thank you for reading. I might have a crush on a good friend ("Steve") who I've reconnected with after a few years of not hanging out. We didn't …

Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…

I (22f) entered a relationship with a set date but no longer want it to end. My bf (22m) won’t reconsider and it’s breaking my heart. — I moved to a new country overseas to work for 6 months and on my 2nd day of arrival I went on a date with a guy (22M). We’ve been inseparable ever since. We’re both from Europe (only 1 hour flight apa…

I (23M) am in the talking stage with someone (22F). I need some advice on whether this is a slow burn that I should give a chance or let go? — I was set up with this person who lives about 3 hours from me. She is very ambitious and successful and I was instantly attracted to that about her. She is super bubbly and friendly too. We are also q…

In college and still think about my avoidant ex after almost a year — Hi hi, I haven't seen enough discourse on healing from an avoidant ex and I have definitely not seen enough discourse on healing from an avoidant ex while being at the same college together. My ex an…

Agreed. The best and healthiest relationships to pursue as someone recovering from a disorganized attachment style is a slow burn. Recognizing everything you have in yourself is a tremendous accompl…

You might want to look into relationship attachment styles, love bombing, and whether you're mistaking the slow burn as boring because it's stable and consistent. The excitement ppl often feel is actu…

Yeah I don't really agree with their point at all. There’s a big difference between a slow burn that feels a bit boring and something that stirs up anxiety, usually because someone’s bringing anxious …

The big trap most self-aware anxious attachers fall into is thinking they can "spot" an avoidant and somehow steer clear of them. That's not the point of dating, actually. Your attachment issues cause…

Yes. I just thought about this recently. As of 2 days ago. And I figured I would start trying to see my romantic interests as friends as well. That way a lot of the pressure is off. I am dating a guy …

Babe I’m a healing anxious and it sounds like your being triggered into overthinking I had to realize that a slow burn is a part of your healing..don’t worry too much about the future I know that’s ha…

Maybe just my anxiety kicking in, but if you go on a 2nd date with someone and it's fun, when would you expect the 3rd date to be planned? I asked him out on the 2nd date, then we went off apps and h…

Slow burn doesn't mean "low effort". Let him know you'd like to see him again and maybe a general idea of when you're free and then let it hang. The ball should already be in his court, but that's mak…

Thank you for articulating this. I’m also a planner (and busy juggling work, kids, and the rest!) I also want to see mutual interest and initiative early on. Yes, I can appreciate a slow burn. But th…

I hear you. And I know I shouldn’t take it personally but it does make me wonder. My friend said he’s interested but more of a slow burn. But damn, you at least need a wick for that! She said he does…

Could be. He was definitely more of a slow burn than I am; he’s very analytical and measured—not the type to get carried away. He’s said multiple times that he saw us going somewhere official in the f…

I think that might be my issue with it too. I don't like to half ass things, so trying to upkeep that much communication and keep it quality would kill me. I also have a slow burn speed, so it would j…

Slow burn >>>>

>I need a slow burn situation where I lead with how physical things get and when it happens, and many men seem to think they have to jump into the physical really fast to get momentum going. Absolute…

I think you’re carrying a lot of pressure that doesn’t actually belong to you. What you’re describing isn’t a man who’s withholding love, he’s a man who has a very different relationship with the word…

I'd cancel the date, you're just setting him up with unrealistic expectations and the both of you for disappointment. Stability and the spark are a dichotomy to you. If you go through it with, you're…

Had a nice date last night. Good drinks and a really nice (and refreshing) mix of light and heavy conversation. Kept it pretty short at 2.5hrs (wait, is this actually short?) and then walked her to …

That is so cute! We love a slow burn.

How long are you seeing the “good on paper” guys? Might be worth trying giving them more of a chance and seeing if it can be a slow burn. You don’t have to get physical until/unless you want to, but m…

Well, I'm in a spot today I wasn't sure I'd find myself in for several reasons. I matched with someone on Hinge last summer and we really hit it off, we're both divorced parents living in the same sm…

Slow burn or slow fade?? I’ve been talking to a guy long-distance for about three months. We met on Hinge while I was traveling in Europe. The connection has been warm, flirty, emotionally and sexual…

I'm four dates in with a girl, and I'm having a hard time getting a read on her. The dates have been fun, she's attractive, we have common interests and values, and in general she's great on paper. Ou…

Assuming you mean outer planet transits to the luminaries, rather than sun/moon transits to Saturn, Pluto, Uranus. The moon moves so quickly you could go to bed one evening and totally miss they it sq…

How do you know if you're in a slow burn vs. a situationship?

What's your perspective on what milestones look like in a long distance slow burn?

Welp, there goes the relationship I was hoping for. I’d gotten mixed signals over the last 3 months, but he told me early on that he was a slow burn dater, so I thought things just needed to move at h…

setting aside physical traits that likely dont necessarily lend themselves well to online dating (i wont bring these up because they have not been researched in any systematic way), my race/ethnicity …

I(F) have a first *third* date tomorrow (we’re going golfing) with a man I met through OLD. The man is very good looking. But our connection is a bit of a slow burn I believe. The chemistry is there b…

"But" our connection is a bit of a slow burn. Why does it have to be a "but"? Is slow burn something bad? Also, what even is the standard dating timeline for people our age? There is no rulebook.

I love a slow burn. The guy I’ve been seeing has been pretty slow but reliable when it comes to initiating our next dates and we have our third date this weekend as well. I still don’t know much about…

I wish it were formulaic - there’s definitely been times where I’ve felt the connection from the first date and times where it’s been a slow burn… and also times where things didn’t go anywhere. And I…

I like to drink too, but a whole handle of rum regularly is a lot. Also, kids changes the equation drastically. Plus, he knows his partner doesn’t like it and consistently leaves her with all the chil…

It's true for both sexes. You could be so exuberant in the first few chat exchanges, and then the slow burn of seeming interest but you can clearly see based on their responses that they've long past…

How do you tell the difference between a slow burn and someone being uninterested or not in a good place to date? I'm five dates in with someone over the course of six weeks. Our dates have all been …

I'm in a very, very similar place to you. Seeing someone as a slow burn, we were friends first which probably added to that and she is a slow texter, she's even told me that's been a previous issue in…

I had a "slow burn" until it wasn't (the floodgates opened the moment we started holding hands), but what made it work for us was that we were always proactive about scheduling something ahead in the …

>Seeing someone as a slow burn, we were friends first which probably added to that  I don't think being friends first means it should/will be a slow burn. In fact, things typically move a bit faster …

How about slow burn deactivating after a fight, for like 8 weeks while saying “i love you” then ghosting you… for an undetermined amount of time. Wild discard shutdown.

I'm a germaphobe and slow burn kind of guy physically so I don't like going for a kiss on the first date. I had a girl get confused last month when I offered her my cheek when she leaned in for a kiss…

Oooh is this a dating/romantic meeting?? I actually have met several people off of reddit including my current partner who I am super happy with. I hope it goes well, also I love a 'talk over text b…

I like a good slow burn, but 4 months without hugging? That just sounds like there’s no heat. Maybe he feels as if he makes poor choices when he mixes sex in too soon and that gets taken to an extreme…

There might be something cultural going on, not necessarily religious. Hand holding - try it  Also maybe watching a slow burn C Drama or K Drama on Netflix, like Hidden Love together. C and K Dram…

After a breakup last fall that really crushed me and then a really sudden break off (from the other person) early this year, I've been doing a ton of work on my anxious attachment and slowing things d…

Interesting, I just also just had a long third date too. I don't particularly find my date "attractive" at least not initially but usually by the end of the date it's definitely changed and is someone…

That's really helpful to hear, thank you! I think moving slow would help me too. In my previous relationship we moved really fast and saw each other all the time at the beginning and I got super anxio…

Saw a movie last night with the person I'm dating (and a couple others). It was insane. She did not enjoy it, but I certainly enjoyed her holding onto my arm and leaning onto my shoulder. She gave …

I've had a 24 hours that's realllly tested my anxiety and reframing past experiences. Someone who dumped me out of the clear blue texted me yesterday afternoon. When she dumped me I told her I could…

Yes, this is absolutely a Mars in Scorpio trait. Mars is actually in its traditional rulership in Scorpio, so it operates with a lot of intensity there. The way you process anger is deep, slow burning…

What's a good way to start the conversation about physical affection, sex, and libido when you're dating someone who has explicitly said she doesn't want to rush into things and prefers a slow burn? I…