wanted to talk

Long reply but i have to give the background: I made this exact mistake, please learn from it. Same timeline, dated for 1.5 years, she dumped me over wanting to move in, i wasn't ready for that. I was…

A little look into how fearful avoidants operate (aka, how one of my relationships ended - twice - because I was unaware of my patterns) — When I was 21 and *severely* fearful avoidant I dated a secure guy who was wonderful in every way, but obviously not for me. I did everything stereotypical of a fearful avoidant attachment does in a…

Coaches — So,we all know the scam of RAIN I wanted to talk about this other girl ‘Amara innerpower’who keeps posting in various Ng groups on Facebook. Beware of this one too and never ever pay any coach for mon…

My (18F) girlfriend told me she is taking 5 days to think over if we should break up. What should I (19M) do? — TL;DR my girlfriend has reached a breaking point and told me she’ll consider being together but as of now we aren’t. Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly 2 years and met our senior year…

Opened up to my wife about how I feel about our relationship and she just said "That's your problem" - am I crazy? — We're both in our mid 40s, been together for 20+ years and we have two kids who are both teenagers and I've been thinking about divorce for quite a while now as I feel like I just don't get anything b…

Cheated on after 10.5 years together, divorced at 11 years together. — Hi Everyone, This is half venting and half hoping for advice or people to listen. I'm at a low point right now so I thought reaching out to a community might be beneficial as opposed to holding it…

What to do on tomorrows new moon — This and also I wanted to talk about how I’ve felt as if I’m in a freeze state these past 4-5 days or so. I just feel tired all the time and can’t do anything except lay in bed or scroll on my phone. …

Anybody else had a father that was physically there but wasn’t emotionally present like AT all? — Growing up my dad was just physically there and just provided. He never hugged me, told me he loved me, he just been stone cold. We are in the same house, with 0 connection. He never sat and gave me a…

“ he never harmed me” good to know my suffering meant so little to you — My ex husband left me for the mistress 6 years ago. It was hell. I am still to this day dealing with the trauma of having the person you trusted and loved so much just pull the rug from under your li…

[22F] Need outside opinions on a very confusing and painful situation with a guy I dated [22M] — I’m 22F and he’s also 22M. We met on Hinge last August and clicked very fast. It became intense almost immediately. He was very interested in me as a person first, not just physically, and he openly s…

Fiancé ended our 12 year relationship after meeting a new guy — Caitlyn, I'm sorry, and I miss you and still love you. I can't function. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do, and I don't know how much of this was me, and how much of this was him. Everyone has to…

Boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and i begged him to stay. — I got broken up by my boyfriend yesterday, and to me, it was out of nowhere because he said he would never leave me. For context- I was his first serious relationship and he says I was the first girl …

Feeling stuck with CBT? — I’m feeling really frustrated after a therapy session today and wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this or has advice. For context, I currently have a broken ankle and am pretty dependent o…

Was so delulu but got shocked by the results so far — PLEASE HELP 🙏 So I was with someone for 3 years, and when we broke up we kept being in a situationship where we kept together but our surroundings didn’t know about us! and lately, we stopped talki…

What do I do with the Gift? — We were 11 years together and just recently she broke up with me out of nowhere 3 weeks ago. Randomly called me annoying prior to the breakup for asking her repeatedly to tell me when she would be bus…

The moment when everything clicked after the discard. Does this pattern strongly point to NPD? — Hey everyone. After a recent brutal and totally blindsiding discard by someone who I thought loved me, Im trying to understand what I experienced (almost 1 year relationship and attempt at reconnectio…

my life is… bad and i have no idea what to do — hi!! i’m cait and i joined reddit just for this, i really wanted to talk about my life and see if anybody relates / can give me advice. so im 41🔄 years old and i have social anxiety and no real socia…

I really hate me so much — Im Only A Burden I 42f have been with my husband 42m for 19 years. We have 2 kids (16 & 7). I am madly in love with my husband. But Im completely codependent and its ruining us and pushing him away. …

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. — Me \[28M\] and Lea \[26F\] have been seeing each other for exactly 3 months now. We met through hinge back in the first week of January and had an explosive first date which ended in us sleeping toget…

Need advice navigating ldr in college — I(18F) have been with my boyfriend (18M) for almost two years now. We both had to move away from home for college last year in August and we get to see each other after 3-4 months. When we first start…

Time to play hard ball? — I've spent the last 1.5 years post separation trying to keep the peace with my ex. I moved out, I allowed her to stay on my insurance etc all in order to allow for a smooth divorce and I'm a genuinely…

Ex messaged me after 3 months, was my response appropriate? — ex: Hey, how's it going? me: ? ex: Nothing, just checking in. I figured you would come back for Easter weekend. I didn't wanna ask when you were stressed with school. me: why ru messaging me ex: I…

How can I do better — My Story — A Journal Entry Where It All Began I grew up in a joint family — grandparents, cousins, relatives all around. On the surface, there was warmth and togetherness. But my immediate family wa…

Does anyone else's nmom lack physical boundaries as well? (TW) — TW- molestation My nmom has no boundaries and is very enmeshed with me, she thankfully isn't very touchy-feely but has had some moments and tendencies which make me feel (kind of) afraid of her in a …

Overcoming emotional trauma from abusive father, feeling scared — Hi! Posting for the first time here, hoping I'm doing it right. I wanted to talk about my family trauma and seek advice about building a life on my own because my mind is so afraid to ever go back int…

My ex wanted me back — I'll start when it all started (last year when i was 17 and now I am 18) . So when my ex and I first met she had joined my friend group at college and we all were hanging out and just chilling walking…

I feel like I'll never be able to live normally after being cheated on. — I need some support. I(21F)'ve been with my boyfriend(26M)for a year and a half and we planned future together. More than two months ago I had the opportunity to go through his phone after big fight.…

He said I deserve better? — I (31f) have been with a guy (43m) for about 8 months now. Since we started dating (July 2025), we have had so many issues. I have a stable job and am currently getting my PHD. He has no ambition at a…

All roads lead to Rome, huh? — Update to this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/1sahmmf/this_is_it_my_final_day/). Basically, I was ready to leave. So, it's been three days since I made the post, and a l…

I feel I have CPTSD from emotional abuse by my father, need advice — Hi! Posting for the first time here, hoping I'm doing it right. I wanted to talk about my family trauma and seek advice about building a life on my own because my mind is so afraid to ever go back int…

my ex texted me out of the blue at night — not saying that it was bad , i really liked talking to her we talked alot , like just random talk , she said she wanted to talk to me because she doesnt have much friends and i get that , we broke up …

Getting help at 18 — TW: mentions of abuse(physical, emotional), self harm sorry if I overshare but Ive recently gotten help at 18, ive recently turned 18 and I havent even gotten my highschool diploma yet but i graduat…

My gf? told me she’s not in love with me anymore — TLDR (LGBTQ): Girlfriend of 1 year told me she’s not in love with me anymore and has felt that way for a few months. I feel completely blindsided. We have a nonrefundable international wedding trip f…

Is it finally time to break off and how can I (22F) bring it up with my boyfriend (22M) when I never once expressed any discontentment/resentment strongly and openly? — I really need some advice regarding my boyfriend. For context, we met abroad in a western country. I am Chinese and he is Japanese. This context kind of matters. Our relationship started poorly as a …

Endless rumination and heartache over a relationship that was over 7 months ago. — I need some outside perspective because I’m still trying to make sense of a past relationship (M 30) , and it’s been 7 months and I genuinely can’t stop ruminating about it. I also haven’t been able t…

Hi! (29f) here my boyfriend (33m) pushed me to the point where I had to end things. I am really, really sad. Showed up to the AA meeting I’ve been going to. — I’m feeling so sad even though I know this relationship is destroying me. I am the type of person who will never quit on someone (just see my other posts about my relationship over the years) but I ca…

Could he be doing the push pull on me? — So me and my crush been knowing each other for over a year ish, we have flirted , teased , known each other, he goes out of his way to see me, help me and be there for me as well, we also make lots of…

Pretty sure it's codependency, and I need some feedback — I apologize that this is long, but I need advice. I have someone in my life, that at one point I considered a friend. The relationship started off normal enough, we'd chat here and there. We'd bounce…

10 days after he ended it for good, he is on Tinder — We were together for 5 years. I’m 25F, he’s 24M. We live together. He broke up with me because he wasn’t in love with me anymore. But I was deeply in love with him and wanted to start a family with hi…

I feel like I'm going insane; I've ruined my life — I have therapy tomorrow but for now I need to write it out- PLEASE understand I am getting help I just need to vent NOW and I'm sorry I'm sorry I shouldnt be venting online to strangers I'm just so sc…

My bf (42M) says I(32F) ruined our relationship by bringing up a small issue. — Hi all! Can you help me out with where this conversation went wrong? I’m hoping I could get some outside perspective on what happened this past evening because it truly left me feeling confused. TL;…

What should I do? — I’m a 19 year old F. This is my first time posting on Reddit so excuse my language. My mom is a single parent, dad is in the picture so we’re gonna call him Tommy. My mom were gonna call her Tasha,…

Constant partying & jealousy problems with my boyfriend (M34). What to do next? (F28) — I’ve(f28) been with my boyfriend(m34) for about 4 years, and lately I feel really confused about whether I should stay or leave. We live together, which makes it a lot harder. There’s a pattern that …

My close friend (22F) has not been a good friend lately so I (23F) am finding it hard to care that she might be getting into a relationship — TL;DR why should i care about my friend's "potential new relationship" when she's not given me any reason to? We have been friends since high school and recently I've just been realizing she may not…

The trick to make FM disappear actually works! — Want to share it as it can be helpful for you too. Also, I have found it here so it's me returning the favour. I was too anxious and people pleaser and basically a doormat (mostly because of my an…

First lucid dream after years… Why did my dream control completely fail? My new method backfired — # Notice \----- This post might contain some sentence blobs that may be large for those people who just want to skim through, so I wrote a summarizing “**TL;DR**:” after every few sentences! Additi…

I live with my grandmother and I think she may be a narcissist — I've been living with my grandparents for almost 2 years. In those two years I've had a lot of fights with my grandmother. I've noticed some things she says and feels about other family members and it…

My life was taken before it ever got to begin, thanks to her — It's hard to know where to start because my own memories of childhood have mostly eroded entirely. I'm 25, and I can't tell if I just have general memory issues or if the trauma is really that great. …

First Breakup — I’ve never posted on reddit before so I apologize if i don’t do this right😅 I’m 17 years old and I got broken up with on February 1st this year. We dated for bit less than a year, April 8th (which j…

Does your n parent(s) dominate the dinner conversation every day — Throughout my whole childhood and honestly still to this day, the dinner table conversations would always be centered on what my mom wanted to talk about. If we start talking about smth she doesn’t li…

Proposed but we broke up. Mentally stuck. Should I apologize? — I’m a 29M who met a 27F long-distance through social media. We’d followed each other for years on X and Instagram but barely interacted until I commented on one of her posts, and then last October thi…

This explains how I let things get so out of control with avoidant types as I’m an introvert and quite secure independent and confident but after a year I started feeling like the relationship wasn’t …

As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise.  I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…

Like I said in my reply to the above comment, I realized I blurred the lines between friendship and coworker. I’ve said this as well when I apologized to her. I’m not saying this as an excuse but she …

I’m just lost at what to do because she hasn’t really said anything and her actions and words don’t match. She said she wanted to talk as well but that doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. So at bes…

I think with this person it was a combination of both my FA and we had different views on core values so eventhough I wanted to talk him , things weren't right between us and after that I told him I …

TL;DR: when an avoidant asks for a break, is it real? Ive been dating an avoidant guy for like four months. He had ended a 9 year relationship a year ago and I ended an 8 year relationship recently.…

TLDR: Anxious(22M) seeking advice during a break with an avoidant(21F) . I am an extremely anxious person due to cheating and abandonment in prior relationships. I never used to care as much about th…

I (F28) was in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (M27). Hi, I recently went through a breakup. It was quite brutal, at least for me. During the relationship, I often felt anxious. Even …

Edit: I will just share my experience here. I have to say I did something counter-intuitive. I basicly said that I fully acceppt her decision and in a manner of calm loving person I told her about how…

Long text but I would really appreciate any advice and support 💗 TLDR in the end. I'm meeting up with my avoidant partner after he shut down at the mention of a problem. So my partner (21m) and i …

My ex broke up with me a month ago. We had a powerful connection but life goals and bad timing meant it likely wouldn't work, there was zero toxicity. We'll talk again sometime in the future, it proba…

This question isn't about me, it is about my partner I personally don't relate to anxious attatchment and did not know what it was - until my partner mentioned it in passing. They seemed to want to t…

Yeah I could see that but I don’t think it’s really true. I went on a date with a chemist once and he wanted to talk about topics related to that and I wanted to talk about the energies in the univer…

Initially he said, coffee date. His cancellation text then became a 'hang'. The 'something fun' was earlier on. When I asked him what he meant, genuinely, he said 'not hook up if that's what you're th…

I've heard about the potential for attracting abusers by telling them of previous abuse too. In actual fact, I was abused by a previous partner before him, and told him about the abuse, thinking it wo…

Last time I checked, reciprocity doesn't involve stalking someone for months who has you blocked on every platform because in your head they're supposed to recognize that they MADE you feel hurt and t…

Yes!!! It was kinda of an I didn’t imagine you actually wanted to talk to me moment. 😂 like I could trust me own instinct. Nothing to even do with them.

I am likely being ghosted or broken up with. Valentines day we had a date. He told me he was hurt by something I did a few weeks before. I apologized. Then, It honestly turned in to him dogpiling a …

I am currently in a push-pull dynamic with my partner. I call her partner because there has not been a definitive decision made on whether we have split up or not, if that makes sense? There have been…

If you're unsure about their interest, ask them something about their look: "What's that tattoo?" "Is that a hand-woven sweater?" "Is that dress black and blue or white and gold?" If they aren't inter…

I was never married so my opinion doesnt matter much But........ I had a gf for 8 years, and i was a step dad for her kid when I met her since she was turning 3 until she was 10. Aound year 5-6 she …

We actually did set up some ground rules that it would be what we are calling a committed separation not to talk to other people, and if she talks to him, that is a clear breach of my boundary and wou…

Mine only wanted to communicate through text messaging. Never wanted to talk over the phone or in person. I thought that was strange too

I think so too, he never used me or tried to make me feel less ( which are typical narcissists behaviors). All of our arguments were basically me trying to communicate with him about my feelings, he n…

Seems like youre an attractive person if multiple women kept talking to you. You may want to hit up number woman again, its happened to me where someone is hitting on me but I really wanted to talk wi…

Another psycho I found in OLD yesterday Matched with him Sunday, he asked to chat off the app sent him my number. Immediately got a call from a blocked number. Asked if it was him. He text me the nex…

I have my own standards. I communicate clearly, ask questions. I'm polite and respectful. I communicate my intentions clearly and if I like the convo I ask people on a date (why waste time, isn't that…

For me, after several months of meditating, I saw a woman and was attracted to her & wanted to talk to her. My mind immediately started playing out scenarios where I get rejected & then someone comes …

I had a dream a week or so ago that an ex gf really wanted to talk to me but was afraid to reach out. When I woke up I just knew it was real. So I texted her and said I knew she wanted to talk to me,…

So basically since early January we have been seeing one another. Medium distance about and hour and 40. In person I was maximum effort. Making thy drive every time with no hesitation. Obsessed with h…

Same thing here too. I was always the person who wanted to talk and fix things. She would put everything over to the side and get angry at me. One time she broke up with me over something so small tha…

I mean, what did you expect? I understand your explanation but that's a terrible thing to say if you want to remain in a relationship If you wanted to talk about the things you wanted to improve in y…

On the surface I am inclined to feel the statement OP made was insensitive and probably risky because she probably knew he was likely to react badly to what she said but there must also be a motive to…

Saturday Night Question: When the woman you are following around the venue says, "Stop following me!" what should you do? A. Leave her alone B. Apologize and say you weren't following her and you on…

I don’t want to invalidate his feelings because of course we don’t know the situation. The phrase “all I wanted was respect” hits a chord. It just reminds me of my ex who would always say I disrespect…

Sounds like he got a little bit of liquid courage and wanted to talk about his ex for whatever reason. Agree with all the other comments that he intentionally steered the conversation in that directio…

Rest for a while after work before you give her a call. When I was in a prior relationship, I was doing hair and managing a salon, I would have conversations literally all day every day. I’m an introv…

Can yall help me im in such a weird situation. Talking for 8 months dated since december 19th and broke up last saturday. She called me her person after the stepback in november . She was the one who…

Oh yeah, it was one of my earliest complaints and one of the first few realisations I had that made me realise I was severely neglected. I didn’t realise it at the time but I realised just yesterday a…

I (43F) have been married to my avoidant husband (44M) for 14 years, and we have been best friends since we were 13. We share three biological children, and he has four other kids from his first marri…

I posted something similar recently: Is “Capacity for Repair” the ultimate green flag we should be vetting for? I’ve been reflecting on the fundamental difference between a past relationship that e…

My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue saying he couldn’t see a future with me and he’s been trying to ‘reason’ with it for weeks. He does have avoidant traits (never felt comfortable with conflict, I…

Going through something similar now. Was dating a guy that had a failed engagement due to his gambling addiction. He was initially honest about that which I appreciated. We became exclusive, met eacho…

That's very hard. I'm on the opposite end of things right now. My partner and I were together for three incredible months, and then at the beginning of the year she began to drift away hard. She init…

My recent avoidant ex broke up with me 2 years ago for someone new. He did try keeping in contacts for months after (basically dating in front of his family, reminiscing about past, mapping out a futu…

You know, I had a match yesterday. There was enough frequency for a phone conversation because we were chatting about his career switch up. But then, out out nowhere, he said that he was old fashion…

In my situation I never said I wanted to talk right then. I just didnt want to give out my number so soon when we had barely chatted. Plus, I hate being asked to text outside of the app, like the app …

I'm not being prohibitive. Just saying that I've never understood the desire or need to be away from the opposite sex. If one of my boys wanted to talk about their marriage then, obviously, whoever t…

From my inner child perspective, all i needed was to exist next to my mom. I didn't care if we made something for me (playing, a trip or activities), it was enough for me to be a part of her day. My i…

I was in a really stressful period of my life with work and exams simultaneously, it got to the point where he was struggling with the coldness and distancing i was projecting because of stress, so i …