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Citations (101)
I want to be real with you here because I think you already know the surface-level advice. Delete the apps, block him, stay busy. You've tried all of that. It didn't work. And the reason it didn't wor…
When does maximising space/reducing elements go too far? — I'm working on an eCommerce site at the moment, and when it comes to the product category pages, I've had some feedback from my senior to suggest that space needs to be used more efficiently. To name…
The Ability to Scale Predictably Is a Superpower (Here’s Why DTC Brands Can’t Skip Performance Marketing) — The ability to **scale predictably** is a superpower—especially for DTC brands. If you’ve worked with or inside a DTC company, you know the drill: * You launch, get some organic traction, and then… …
Common sense from an actual founder [fully boostrap 10M$ company] about startup studios' playbooks [i will not promote] — I don't post on reddit but I've recently seen an increased influx of post or people talking about X or Y playbook about how you should startup. i will not promote Let me get this straight, I won't cr…
Quick help with CORS error — Hello, This is a stupid question I think I know the answer to, but I'd like confirmation. All the research I've done indicates my gut is right, but I like to check. I'm getting a CORS error when tr…
Am I Overthinking the Name? — I’m in the planning phase of starting a fashion accessories brand, mainly leather goods to begin with. I’m definitely a chronic overthinker, but I can’t seem to come up with a name that feels right. A…
Think I found a secure woman, and almost immediately self-sabotaged. — In my social club, there’s a woman who had consistently shown signs that she was into me. I was direct and asked her out. She said she was interested but couldn’t date for a few months because her j…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…
a song about longing for something that never was - disorganized attachment style edition — lyrics: Who am I without wanting you? A shadow tracing something true There's a part of me that still holds onto you tight To every place you touched in my life I can't tell where you end, and I b…
Have your thoughts on shrooms been somewhat like this? — Yesterday I first tried shrooms. I did 15g fresh, which you can expect to be about 1.5g dry ± I've tried acid 2 times before, which were very amazing, intense and long experiences. They theached me a…
Shame has dictated my entire life for 41 years — And I didn't know it until now. It was the silent background noise, the "I'm not good enough," "Don't do that or you'll fail!" "Look how stupid you are, you can't do anything right," "Don't notice m…
My AM is a stupid fucking snitch — Any time I tell my AM anything that I want her to keep between us, she’s always snitched to my AD. But whenever she wants me to keep a secret from my AD, I am somehow expected to follow that same secr…
Update: How can I(20F) tell my boyfriend (20M) about my sexual preferences when he has already expressed disgust over it? — Alright, so even though no one asked for it I’m back with an update. First of all, thank you to everyone that commented, I swear on everything that I read each and every single comment. Thank you for…
A woman complimented my aura. — One time I was working in a second hand store, it was a very busy store so I was constantly on the go, putting things back, helping customers, etc. I was called over to help a lady who was looking a…
Strange energy from a plant — Today I was in a garden centre I hadn’t visited before and came across a plethora of roses. I was in the market for one, as they are my favourite flower. I’m so used to being drawn to ones in my local…
After almost 3 months practicing Gatewaytapes, this is the first time i feel my consciousness started lifting off, it's not OBE yet but it's definitely something lifted off there, i have to share this with you — I started the very first tape Orientation since Jan 26 until now i reached wave 3 tape 1 , everyday i practice one or two time but at least one a day, going through each tape i practiced at least tw…
After almost 3 months practicing Gatewaytapes, this is the first time i feel my consciousness started lifting off, it's not OBE yet but it's definitely something lifted off there, i have to share this with you — I started the very first tape Orientation since Jan 26 until now i reached wave 3 tape 1 , everyday i practice one or two time but at least one a day, going through each tape i practiced at least two …
THE PHOENIX LIGHTS 29th ANNIVERSARY This is what I saw that night March 13, 1997. It was a totally solid piece of machinery not just lights. I could see the bottom of the UFO clearly by two light sources illuminating the bottom of the craft as it flew over my head — I posted this also in UFO sub. March 13, 1997 I was working in East Mesa, Arizona in a 10 bed Hospice inpatient unit as the Charge RN. We worked 12 hour shifts getting off at 7:30 PM but that night t…
What was happening to my Codependent mind? — I am a Codependent in recovery, and as I heal my emotions, I do realize a lot of difference in how my mind used to operate back then and how it is now. And I wanted to share about my experience becaus…
Histories of Native American Treaties and Anti-Chinese Violence Win Bancroft Prize — Emilie Connolly’s “Vested Interests: Trusteeship and Native Dispossession in the United States,” published by Princeton University Press, examines the financial aspects of many U.S. government treatie…
Crazy experience “timeline hopper” — I’ve been lucid dreaming since I was about 12/13, and I’m now 23. I trained myself into it years ago and now I lucid dream every morning which sometimes can be annoying because it affects my sleep. I’…
Blood is no longer thicker than water — Blood is no longer thicker than water. This toxic Filipino family culture where, if you’re poor, you’re looked down on, and treated like you don’t matter. Where money decides whose voice is heard and…
I’m 19 and left with a 4yo autistic sister. I feel extremely hopeless. — I’m 19f, my mom passed away November 2025 and Im left with a 5year old neurotypical sister and 4 year old sister diagnosed with autism, ocd, and adhd. My sisters and I have different fathers, their fa…
My wife keeps helping her sister and husband — Hello, I need some advice, I'm a male of 45 yo, and my wife 44 yo, live a good life together with our dogs, no kids, because we got married at the end of our 30's and realized we didn't want kids. …
Being the good spouse doesn’t guarantee a good marriage — You can do everything right, communicate, support, compromise, be loving and attentive, and still find yourself in a marriage that feels distant, unfulfilling, or even toxic. Made me realize that marr…
The most disgusting thing they do. — Im sure I’m not the only one who has experienced this.. The most disgusting thing that my ex has done is made be believe I could trust him. We were friends for years prior to us dating, and he would …
first shifting story i encountered — When i was a little little kid like 6 or 7 yo(yeah 67 whatever). I vividly remember that between us kid we told ourselves a story. We never repeated it to adults because they wouldn't understand. We …
Managing Guilt and Shame — Hi everybody! I'm tackling the superiority complex part of my codependency today and I realized some of the root of the problem. I've got some pretty bad negative self talk and it really comes out whe…
Mom! There's a Flying Car Outside the Window + And Other DR Memories — https://preview.redd.it/qg8vkwaixvpg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=ddddae1cd2fa8a918133c6c3655c21cd7e63afd6 https://preview.redd.it/am1xwmqjxvpg1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=2814916…
Voice in my head predicting the future??? Am I reaching?? — Ok so for about the past 2 weeks i have been consistently meditating, which i never have before, the max i ever done was like 4 days, but anyways about 7 days ago i start getting this urge and feeling…
Seeing lizard-like eyes and being healed? — Hi everyone, I recently meditated for about 45 minutes to an hour in the \*very\* early morning a couple days ago (I never meditate that long) after waking up before the sun rose. I was in a supine…
About no contact. — I just wanted to say that, yes, you should go no contact if you got dumped, only way that someone will realize what they lost is by not having access to it anymore, could take days, weeks and months f…
Fear of being judged — Today I've messed up a tiny bit, catastrophizing a bit. I've just finished renovating my room with my parents. I love them and I've expressed that multiple times, and often times I feel it's reciproc…
Are you easily get upset or resentful — Fine I have expectations from people. But I am expecting what I give. If my friend wants to enjoy his last ride with car and invites me for example, I wouldnt say “its too late,its too far,too much t…
Is it inevitable that one arrives at stoicism with non-virtuous intent? — Not to get religious. But I remember reading a sermon years ago - CH Spurgeon I think - where he was describing true and false faith. He described that there would be a genuine love for Christ himself…
In Honor Of Women's History Month Almost Ending: Every Asian Member (That I Know Of) In Western Girl Groups — I'm a pop culture person and in honor of Women's History Month almost ending, here is every (I think?) Asian member of Western girl groups (because if I did K-pop as a whole this list would get VERY l…
Writing about my experience with Iboga medicine 🌱 — Earlier I made a post and someone commented that they didn't want to watch a video. Understood! Here is an account of what I saw during my time with ceremony number one with iboga. It was not what I i…
Tired of toxic connections.. can my birth chart help me finding the right people? — I’ve been trying to understand how to not stay stuck in what hurt me + somehow still find people I actually feel aligned with. I also wonder if some of these patterns make sense through my chart, lik…
How can I attract genuinely aligned friendships? (my NN is in the 11th but I have a very hard time with it) — Hi! I’m very interested in the insights of this sub bc I’m not very experienced with astrology but even less with the whole sign system. Just right now while transferring my chart in whole sign notice…
Shrooms vs. LSD Explained by Experienced Tripper — **WARNING:** All information provided is based off of my subjective experience from my use of psychedelics over the years. Experiences will vary greatly, do not take this as factual or gospel. This is…
Anti-Asian Hate in Philadelphia — My sister and I were riding the city’s subway system and a man started verbally attacking us. My sister accidentally brushed by him in the crowded subway as his bike blocked the aisle. Be proceeded to…
A Friendship Breakup — Everyone’s talking friendship breakups, so here’s mine. In middle school, I was dangerously codependent on a guy named JJ(not his actual name). It ended abruptly when I asked if I was his crush, he li…
Division in the astral community. — Hello Community I have spoken to a several astral traveller's within this community, and every astral traveller I mentioned, such like Gene Hart, Darius J Wright, Robert Monroe, William Bulhman, Rob…
Should i Be that hurt??? — I just needed somewhere to vent, not even sure who’s gonna see this or respond, or even look at this whole thing tbh lol I’m 24M, she’s 23F. We met on a dating app Jan 15, 2026, made it official Feb…
My horrible mushroom trip by Jimmy Burnt — It all started during an environmental school excusion/protest. I had packed my lunch that day, drank my water, dressed well and expected nothing to happen. To preface I live in Sydney and lived aro…
Breakup due to her grief + life circumstances…how do I make sense of this? — My ex (25F) of almost 3 years broke up with me (28M) about a month ago. The last few months were long distance, and this was a serious relationship — we had met each other’s families and were quite i…
"You have to be hungry enough for your desire" — Well, I can bet many people here are NOT HUNGRY enough for their desire. When Neville expressed his desire to go barbados... He straight told Ab... "I have a *burning* desire to go barbados this time…
Issues from anger stops me from building long-term connection — NOTICE: I'm sharing a ton of information, and self-assessment so expect this to be long I've come with alot of friendships from schools, outside, and many things that allows me to potentially have fr…
Weird/scary experience during meditation — In short, just today I did very short literally 10 min (though it didn’t feel like that) pranayama with candle in front of me. As usual, how I my teacher has taught me, I did an aura cleansing by conn…
All Day Awareness.. — Today, I figured, I am going to use ADA. (for helping with Lucid Dreaming) What I take from actually using it, is kinda like looking at it as meditating throughout the day. If i notice my mind wander…
Alright, so, why do some need to work more than others? Is it something to do with DNA or something else?
You are right. Saying they left because of our flaws isn’t completely right, they left too because of their flaws. The most important thing is to recognize our own flaws for the purpose of self-accept…
But your brain behaves differently when lucid dreaming. If I remember right, your prefrontal cortex (so you're aware of yourself and your personality) is active during a lucid dream, what normally don…
I'd just tag on that posters pay attention to all advice posted, regardless of the upvotes/downvotes. The hivemind here can be brutal. This is PARTICULARLY problematic when advice gets legal advice …
I think what many ask for is solid scientific proof of it. And sure, there is alot of proof and someone linked one of it in here, or they can just start digging this sub or the internetz themself but …
Right, I just want to get to know someone at a steady pace. The presents felt like pressure.
I am in the same boat. Had my FA (maybe DA? I never knew about attachment theory until her. She was extremely committed and IN. LOVE. for 2 years and was much more anxious and attached. Then she was j…
No need to answer this. My suspicions were unfortunately right, and I wasn’t being anxious for no reason.
Well yeah and in my experience too if they say they hate you and you really don’t deserve it, you should obv take that as a sign they aren’t right, because 9 times out of 10 what follows “I hate you” …
I personally bring in over $1MUSD in revenue per year for my employer (probably about $500k/year or more pure profit), and my company currently only uses AI for cost-estimating on a web app that spend…
Yes, not easy, especially when dealing with employees. It takes a lot of work too but there’s a different drive there than working for someone else. Also no cap on your salary and a sellable business …
It’s a team sport for sure. But you’re right, it doesn’t mean everybody has to be a part owner to equal degrees. But I think a lot of “solo” founders use it as an excuse not to learn to work with ot…
Such a good point! The push pull dynamic isn’t emotional manipulation, it’s a capacity issue stemming from a desperate need to protect oneself. You’re right, when it’s framed that way it’s so much mor…
Thank you for this response. You are partially right, at least. I know that if she did come back I would try and insist on both of us being vulnerable and trying to make things work *for both of us*. …
This is probably my own AP side coming through and influencing things, but, I'd always sort of viewed the avoidants desire for space in a similar way that Marxists percieve a proletarian false-conscio…
Agree! But what I’m not proud of is holding him to that standard, while also admitting that I failed to communicate as well. You’re absolutely right, I have no idea what prompted him to just cease c…
Right, it's a tough type of connection.
I also get very anxious. I try to act secure but my brain is going insane. Always overanalyzing, preoccupied, I genuinely cannot tell when I am overreacting and when I am right, so I always override m…
He sounds very much like my husband who I will be getting divorced from precisely because of his avoidant attachment. You're 100% right, they do not change. At least not on their own.
Right, and then if you do say “it’s fine, that’s not true, we can work it out” and then every time you ask for anything in a relationship they do heinous stuff or pull away and then pull out the “well…
Before our “conflict,” things were okay and like I said he is warm to others except me. It’s hard not to take that personally when after 7 years of friendship, he suddenly goes cold on me; especially …
I‘m going to make this short: You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right, his behavior is objectively not okay and it’s neither your fault nor your responsibility. I don’t think that any…
I kind of fear her reaction. If she again has an emotional breakdown If i reach out. I fear ruining things for her, distrupting her peace. her exact words in her last message were these "I don't feel…
Yes, I've told him how I feel. His response is sometimes "no you don't, you feel this way (like you always have to be right, you think you do nothing wrong, etc)." Yeah, my therapist says he is workin…
That’s kinda how I started, then I looked into different theories to try to explain what I had seen. I found the simulation theory, that led me to the matrix, which lead me to PP(he who shall not be n…
And you're right, we rarely post when we're recovering. But your words? They're a beacon for someone navigating this night, still caught in their own storm.
I love this response! You’re so right, a “perfect” relationship would be boring
Right, obsessive. The word slipped my mind.
On Tuesday, my bf (33M) of seven months broke up with me (28F.) I’m absolutely heartbroken because I actually had the chance to know him and I know that he’s an amazing person - our timing just isn’t …
What I'm going to say is not going to sound intuitive at all and is going to be scary, but it's honestly one of the practices and shifts I made that has led me to being secure. It took a lot of therap…
Very astute observation with IFS: It happens infrequently, but it can actually encourage psychosis and dissociative conditions due to think of oneself as a multiple rather than integrated whole, so it…
My relationship is still less than a year old and is long distance. I love my girlfriend very much and I know she loves me and she has put up with various of my problems and supported me and has been …
No you're right, that exactly was the situation where he was on standby. But I really couldn't even speak because of how much pain I was in. I think some people assumed I told him oh I'm not sure if I…
I have this thought spiral frequently. I am also very susceptible to gaslighting so after my last relationship, I had no ability to trust my own thoughts. I am still dealing with this but something th…
you also can't expect a boyfriend or a partner who is not married to you who is not your power of attorney to make medical decisions for you regarding the hospital that are very expensive. If it goes …
i think you're getting triggered by these times when your primary attachment figure is hurt/not caring for themselves more for a couple reasons. for 1, it is genuinely concerning, and can be a red fl…
Two things can be true at one time… in some sense they are telling you exactly how it’s going to go “you won’t like the real me when you get to know me” — so like why? 😆 well stick around long enough…
I guess it depends if he goes into a more "deactivated" state between conflicts or not. He will probably pull away and be more distant and more avoidant for a time. Sometimes he will get closer and lo…
Be more discerning of their profiles. I feel like you can tell a lot by photos they share and how much or how little they share about themselves. Are they posting a lot of sad looking selfies? Or just…
Thank you for this incredibly kind, helpful reply. ♥️ It is definitely accurate. I don't know if it's thinking "I only deserve broken people" but "only broken people understand where I've been". But y…
> The sub doesn't let me post That's weird. There are auto-rules that limit TOP-LEVEL comments for posts tagged as "Seeking Personal Stoic Guidance". You have to be tagged as a "Contributor". I do…
> I think this is an anxious trait so I want to know if this also happens to you? Why am I reacting like this? Is it justified or is it my insecurity talking? How do you communicate, instead of pullin…
You should check out the book Nonviolent Communication!! There are free PDFs online if you want to try before you buy. I'm moving from AA -> Secure and it has been super helpful. The basic idea is: …
Right, completely valid. It’s hard too when it’s reinforced because it’s real all around us and even statistics back it up. Like even if both partners believe men+women should be equals there’s still …
I can only tell you from my own perspective and my own personal experiences. I've often felt like I was too much, that I need to be patient with my partner, that when I want to ask for more, be it in…
All right, I've now dm'd everyone here who has expressed interest. Please list your availability in the survey link and I'll schedule a zoom call for everyone. Thanks for your patience.
You're right, this stuff is hard - that's why we're all here <3 Remember that being single is far better than being with someone who's half in, or who you have to shrink yourself for. I'm betting yo…
Ok chiming in as earned secure: I don’t think secure attachment automatically means “no casual sex,” but I also don’t think casual sex is some kind of requirement or proof of security either. In my …
You’re right, I set out with “just fun” intentions & here I am wanting more. I felt myself getting sucked in. Turns out it’s an intermittent reinforcement type loop that tricks your brain. I have a pl…
You're right, that isn't helpful.