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Citations (101)
Hi! I am reading your posts they're a bit scattered. I like what you're suggesting in: "Reframe the obstacle into an opportunity and operate from that end state. That's why I don't care about the nega…
People who outsourced to 3PL after fulfilling orders in house - what did you do with the office? — Did you keep your office/warehouse as a HQ even though you weren't storing products, downsizing to a smaller location or have no office at all (WFH etc)
Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that? — Hello everyone. I've been into JM's (and NG's) teaching for quite some time. I enjoy it thoroughly and dipped my toes into the subreddits, so hence why I'm here instead of the NG subreddit since I wo…
One the biggest founder skill is knowing when to walk away - I will not promote — Yes it's hard to kill a project. Yes you might think "I need to keep going" to make it. And that's true in a way, you need to not quit. But iterating/pivoting is not quiting. It's showing agility an…
My experience winning a chargeback — Sharing my experience winning a chargeback recently. We specialize in gaming collectibles, and our store has been running online for 3ish years. We have had 2 chargebacks in that timeframe, and won bo…
Like a mentorship, but more low key — Coffee Drips, Strategy Sips is a product that delivers daily steps of action to keep you and your digital business growing! ON SALE for $17 until tonight, back to $27 tomorrow. Private Telegram chat w…
r/AstrologyChartShare Is Being Rebooted - Stay Tuned! 🌙 — Hey everyone, We’re the new moderation team for r/AstrologyChartShare, and we’ve officially submitted a request to Reddit to reopen this subreddit! Our goal is to revive this space as a welcoming, o…
NATAL SATURN SERIES: IN THE 2ND HOUSE — *Only post if you have natal Saturn in your SECOND house.* **SATURN IN THE 2nd HOUSE** We are starting a series of planets in houses, starting with the outermost of the 7 traditional planets, Saturn …
3 years in. Bro, it gets wild. — Okay, so a large part of this community seems to use SATS as a high-preparation, ritual method and yes it’s very powerful in that way. But you’re literally God. Why keep yourself so limited? Nevill…
Song banned from Casinos cause 'it makes you win more' — There's a song trending back on TikTok videos and people claim Ring My Bell by Anita Ward is banned in casinos because the frequencies supposedly make slot machines pay out more the story going aroun…
Effective ways to get lucid dreams 80% — A way that you might think is contrary to the ways on the internet, but this is actually the most effective way according to me, how? This is the way. The first way, this method often allows you to h…
If you're reading this, you're gonna make it. — Hey, you. yeah YOU. I know what you're going through. Nobody is on this sub because they're having a good time of it. I know that, because 4 years ago I was in the exact same place. Any advice you rea…
How many of you had suitors before meeting your NPD partner that were actually really nice, attractive, and ready to go all in with you, but you turned them away? — Asking for a friend 😏 jk…that was me. Those suitors’ love felt strange and off-putting. It felt too easy and therefore not genuine. You mean I don’t have to perform for you, hide my feelings, or s…
NATAL SATURN SERIES: IN THE 3RD HOUSE — *Only post if you have natal Saturn in your THIRD house.* **SATURN IN THE 3rd HOUSE** We are starting a series of planets in houses, starting with the outermost of the 7 traditional planets, Saturn …
Stop being a fixer, and get the relationship you truly want! — The biggest lesson I've learned in love is that it's ok to be selfish. People come on this subreddit because they want to learn how to walk perfectly on eggshells so their sisuationship won't end. I'm…
How to FEEL like you have your desires — it’s really simple but these coaches and influencers are teaching it in a way to keep you hooked and invested in them. the amount of money you have now? wow you’re so lucky you have that! some people…
Easiest way to Lucid Dream — I’ll keep this short and simple. Stay awake all day. No naps. Do whatever you normally do all day. Do not think about sleep until you are at the point where you’re struggling to keep your eyes open, …
~1 year no contact check in. It gets better! — Here’s my experience of going from never being single as an adult to single and happy (spoiler alert! It was SO hard but probably the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done). Background context: I had …
Coda Slogans — I've been attending a meeting for about 2 months and realized last night that Coda doesn't seem to have slogans the same way Al-Anon and other Recovery programs do. Or maybe there is just a lot of cr…
She admits the lies and secrecy, but still denies anything physical — I’m posting because I feel like I’m losing my grip on what is real, and I need perspective from people who understand trickle truth, repeated minimizing, and what it feels like when someone admits jus…
what's a habit you implement to keep you creative? — one thing I recently started doing is keeping a commonplace notebook. I would use it to write down ideas which I actually come back to, vs if I note it in my phone it will inevitably suck me into othe…
NATAL SATURN SERIES: IN THE 4TH HOUSE — *Only post if you have natal Saturn in your FOURTH house.* **SATURN IN THE 4th HOUSE** We are starting a series of planets in houses, starting with the outermost of the 7 traditional planets, Saturn …
April 2026 Astrology: Key Dates, Weekly Forecast and Mundane Astrology World Events — April is one of the most active months we’ve seen. Not one planet is in retrograde. Aries fire and cardinal energy sets the stage for initiation, assertion and spontaneous energy. There is a bit of na…
One Sentence Encheiridion (1-15) — I was rereading the Enchieridion and decided to try and summarize each passage in a single sentence. This was a fun activity, let me know if I should share more. 1. The only thing fully up to you are…
Not always bad — I just broke up with my boyfriend as of March the 13th. We almost had 3 years. Honestly, I thought he was going to be my forever and my person forever. We honestly had a lot of gaps and breakups in ou…
How do I grow a personality / figure out who I am? — Hey everyone, I (22F ) really need advice because I feel like I’m slowly ruining my own life. I honestly don’t know who I am as a person. I feel like I don’t have a real personality. My whole life I’…
I miss you — I miss you so much my heart is aching. I miss you so much that my mind only thinks about you. I miss you so much I look forwards to seeing you even for a glance. I hate how you did me so wrong and lef…
1 Year After My Breakup: The Honest Reality & What you can expect — **1 Year After My Breakup: The Honest Reality** A little over a year ago, my 4-year relationship ended out of nowhere. I’m 27M, she was 25F. One night we had dinner, watched a movie, everything felt…
One year later. I made it — So d day actually came in July. But the day I accused them was a year ago. Gone on a corporate trip. They made a plan. They executed it. But something seemed off about WS leading up. And AP showed up…
Welp it’s official. — I let her take the house, all assets besides my truck, and gave her full custody of my kids with visitation. Never in a million years did I think I’d be here typing. I figured giver her everything s…
It’s so crazy how much a mindset difference can make — I’m feeling good!! At long last. I broke no contact again last night but I really do think I’m done for good now. I’m feeling so nice. 16 days into a breakup. 10 year relationship. I am in no way…
Do they talk down about your appearance? — Curious your stories of your narc talking down on your appearance. Maybe what you wear or what you do to keep yourself looking good? Mine literally told me that he doesn’t know why I want to work out …
Do you want to recover from anxiety? Stop the reassurance seeking right now — reassurance seeking is what's keeping you stuck. don't run to YouTube/google/reddit everytime you feel a symptom. This is what's keeping you stuck. it reinforces the belief that there is something …
Deferred Occupancy — Neville speaks of this. You’ve built the image, you’ve imagined, you’ve affirmed, you’ve done a thousand things… but you’ve not lived from it. Doing all these techniques are useless if you’re not oc…
Miss feeling alive and having the spark now I am all numb and feeling half dead inside — I lost part of me when I had a long term relationship (13 years) breakup. It’s been years but still feeling like I am half dead inside. It’s easy to say - do the things you did in the past or find new…
Journey from doomer to bloomer , this week's progress. ( 3rd week ) — ​ Fifteen days ago, I posted saying that I’m a doomer but I want to become a bloomer, even if I’m running a bit late. Here’s what happened this week. 1 - I focused heavily on finding a job; I…
Tip on how you can report your abuse when you have "easily triggered" parents which makes it difficult to tell secrets to parents? — How to tell someone about abuse safely if you have social anxiety If you have social anxiety, selective mutism, or just find talking about serious stuff terrifying, here’s a step-by-step way to tell …
Re-learning everything — I am trying to re-learn everything from school. I have no degree, I dropped out of uni but I am a curious person. I lost so much due to my abuse. I feel that I could have achieved better grades so I a…
Is this considered SA? — This is something I think about daily, and I really want to know if this counts or if I am just reading too much into it. When I was younger, probably about 9 or 10, I danced at this studio, that ha…
ALERT: don't post anything until we announce it's fixed — **UPDATE: things seem to be working again. But now we have a backlog, so please be patient. It really helps for you to read the Rules Post (in the Highlights) before posting, as the majority of posts …
Trying to focus on me - but co parenting is getting to me — so I (35f) asked for a divorce about 3 and a half years ago - he (m52) was a deadbeat, and I felt like a single parent funding his laziness. I honestly feel like I'm still funding his laziness - slim …
My boyfriend (25M) said he can’t trust himself not to cheat on me (21F) again — I(21F) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (25M), and we currently live together. We've had issues in the past with trust (he's been not loyal once before), but I've been trying to work through it …
Awake while asleep contradiction? Body tensions, etc. — ok so I'm just wondering if somebody could possibly enhance my understanding on this cuz it's hard for me to grasp. how does one stay conscious while falling asleep? how does one separate their body f…
Last night, I had the most control and longest duration I’ve ever had and it was INCREDIBLE — I haven’t really been doing any actual practice, no reality checks, but I obsess over dreams and think about them several times a day and have been for the past decade. I eventually just started havin…
Ran into my DA ex years later and he remembered everything. DAs, what’s actually going on internally? — I ran into my dismissive avoidant ex years later and it stirred up way more than I expected. I’m curious if anyone here, especially DAs themselves, has experienced something similar. A bit of context…
i’m a random person, i just wanted to say that i wish you guys all the best. — hello! super short post. i just wanted to commend you all for your strengths, as well as the kindness you have shown each other. i sometimes look through this reddit, even as someone who hasn’t gone …
Anyone else extremely LC with narc family but afraid to block them completely? — So my parents love to act dumb and basically pretend that they never did anything wrong. I know, shocker. I'm in extremely low contact with them since last year. I see their missed calls and messages …
Resistance to change? — There are so many things to do on a continual basis to heal from this. Even if it's all learned, the unlearning process is huge. I mean after decades of having it... how do you find the motivation t…
Signs or wishful thinking? — I fully believe in manifestation. I have manifested some things for myself without really being aware that I was doing it! I find that when I am too focused on it, I start to question whether the sign…
My (30M) girlfriend (29F) of 5 years confessed to a "minor drunken mistake" with a coworker. My brother just leaked her group chats, and the truth is making me sick. How do I move forward from this? — **Background:** My girlfriend "Amy" and I have been together for 5 years. Recently, I took a stressful promotion that requires long, unpredictable hours. I did this specifically to improve my financia…
Mother keeps guilt tripping me regarding my grandmothers' death. — I am a female in my early 20s. I just want to get this off my chest. I lost my grandmother around 2 months ago. We were super close and she meant the world and more to me. I am also a Muslim, which wi…
If you're asleep but your awareness truly becomes conscious at the same time then that is great; that is what is meant by the popular affirmation in this community as, "Mind Awake, Body Asleep". It i…
I guess a lot of people are still in the angry stage, here. Well I guess if your ex was a POS I can understand, but we can't control people leaving. People have the right to make decisions they believ…
I would agree as well. But sometimes they try to keep you as a backup option by being hot and cold. They are playing with you, while they may not even realize it, but you are getting false hope. Espec…
Anyone else have random lucid dreams about the exact way to start a flying sequence. Some kind of 3 step jump and then a somersault and then you take off and fly for ages if you control your arms prop…
36 days later from my last comment: I still think about her but the feelings aren’t as intense. This marks month 3. 3 months now and it gets better. You just need to keep yourself busy with POSITIVITY…
Here's what I found helpful to figure out my own feelings. I look at three angles: 1. If they suddenly told you they were done and didn't tell you why, would it hurt you? If it wouldn't hurt at all, …
I don’t relate to attaching to my therapist, but I certainly was blindsided by some of the anxious traits that have popped up after I started healing. It was pretty disconcerting until I read in a boo…
Okay I got you, yeah in those extreme cases of abuse you do need to keep yourself safe and just run sometimes. My mom was hit by an ex and needed to do that too. Some DA's will cut people out with no …
As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise. I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…
Brush up on the company, what they do, their market, etc. Why do you want to be there specifically. Have that answer solid. It’s really important to convince them you’ll like it and therefore try hard…
There's a million different opportunities. Most are viable. At 18 you basically have no experience. There's nothing wrong with that, and even a few advantages. But you also don't know what you don't …
Hey. These titles are often interchangeable but can mean different things for different organisations, depending on their role responsibility expectations, product/services. As such I wouldn't focus…
I would add this... Firstly, best of luck in the new venture. You two are doing this as you clearly believe you have both the product and some contacts in the specific field you will be entering that …
Is there anything wrong with building on the nights and weekends (while you keep your current FT job) and then quit as soon as you get validation on your project?
The first question is, why does the drugs trigger you? What are you imagining or feeling when they talk about it. Logically, it's just part of their past. If it was something that could happen again o…
I’m not a DA, but I have dated several and I also have a long term relationship with a securely attached introverted person. When my DA exes wanted space, they didn’t just physically distance themse…
Im not saying you should leave when things seem good. As an anxious attacher myself I see where youre coming from and I would never been able to do that asweel. I mean, why would you leave if you feel…
They had patterns of behavior in line with avoidance. Look downplay what I'm saying all you want, but noticing patterns to keep yourself safe is nothing new. Your point about secures is odd to becaus…
You nailed it, western culture isn’t just “about freedom,” it’s engineered for hyper-independence and maximum consumption. That’s why divorce, loneliness, and relational burnout are the norm, not the …
As others have mentioned this is called, "Hoovering". In attachment theory, particularly with someone who is dismissive avoidant, they may feel threatened by too much intimacy and push you away (brea…
You can respond and see if he’s done any real work on himself and is ready to do so with a partner. But it’s likely he did not change and the well just ran dry. Now he’s spinning the block. I understa…
So the FA I dated for over 3 years sent me an almost identical message like clockwork everytime he would discard me(usually took 1-2 months after no contact) I didn’t know what attachment styles were,…
As someone who is a few days on the other side of the “I need space” deactivation, withdrawal whatever you want to call it. This will only end with an ugly break up (past week) I wish I had been stro…
You always saw her as something more than a friend, it's just that now you need to realize it because she is out of your reach. Since she was always available before, you never bothered and was part o…
Don’t reach out to her. The time to “stand up for yourself” was back when this relationship was going on. Sending that message now will only serve to keep you in this obsession, because you’ll spend t…
How long were you seeing each other before the break? Were you exclusive? Sounds like he wanted to scope out other options and keep you as a back up just in case. or was always avoiding a break up c…
My two cents! 1. You say you’re in the state of “I could get up, but I do not want to.” This means you’re not fully relaxed or in the alpha state. If you’re really in alpha, you will struggle to even…
Hey, thanks for the reply. I'll do my best to answer as precisely as possible > 1. You say you’re in the state of “I could get up, but I do not want to.” This means you’re not fully relaxed or in th…
i’m in this boat too. journaling i’ve heard has helped others, try identifying triggers and find healthy ways to communicate them! if that oh so person you believe you need isn’t replying or is being …
Bruh. Stop throwing around "I'm gonna kill myself" just because you aren't hearing what you wanna hear. I understand the desire to be in a relationship but for the love of god, if you have literally n…
As a female, I struggled with this too. One day I had a mindset shift, and realized that the energy of wanting to find someone doesn’t bode well. You’re still in the sphere of anxiety. My advice w…
Here’s some perspective. You barely know this person - it’s only been a month. He is still a stranger. People have lives and communication while overseas is tricky at best. Your expectations seem a …
Getting the exciting feeling isn’t the issue. It’s what you do with it. Using it as a reason to attach yourself to someone you barely know is the problem. Ignoring red flags is the problem. So try dig…
Delete their number and block them on everything. It's like a self-imposed boundary to keep you in check. You reached out to salve your anxiety, but that decision has only led to feelings of shame.…
there are better things to do than getting hung up on someone who doesn't want to be in your life in any shape or form, respect their wish and give them *aaaaaaaaall the space in the world*, especiall…
I would suggest really digging into what is underlying the need to meet in person and “find out who we truly are”. There is only so much you will learn about someone in the short amount of time you ca…
This is difficult to parse. But you were probably overthinking it. Find something else to keep your mind engaged. Friends, family, a hobby. Trust in your relationship. Worst case scenario is it doesn’…
Dismissing or suppressing the anxiety is not the same as healing and overcoming it. You have to understand it and work through it, not ignore it. You're invalidating your own instincts when you do tha…
Ok we've gotten kinda off topic here. My point was that you need to keep saying "so what" even when it gets hard, no excuses. When you spiral because now you "actually like them", that is all the more…
I’ll second what the other person has commented- that you gotta stick to your boundaries. Though I’m picking up on things that may be concerning here. I am not accusing anyone of anything, but are y…
I'm in a miniature version of your dynamic with a guy who makes me feel on top of the world sometimes and forgotten about others. The hot and cold is exhausting and the good times are just enough to …
Thank you so much, this was helpful. I am getting into some self help books and trying to journal but it’s a hard habit for me to get into. I will definitely keep your examples in mind. I also just ca…
Although your story is different to an avoidant, doesn’t matter DA/FA, unless your constantly throwing up boundary walls at random and make them chase you they’ll stick to the avoidant (unofficial) ha…
I'm happy that it's working for you, but remember that it's just some months, and the issue isn't how they behave pr what they say or do, the issue is they can flip it anytime and you won't even see i…
Address the fear. Why would you be stuck? You are allowed to change your mind any time. Maybe those are the type of affirmations that you need to say yourself. If anything think through your boundar…
A good way to tell is consistency + follow through. Secure/normal pace looks like: they communicate clearly, they suggest an actual time to see you (even if it’s later), and when plans shift they off…
You're not broken ❤️ your old protector is just not needed anymore. The wounds which seek to keep you safe worked for you when you were younger, they helped you stay alive in a world where caregivers …
I would suggest doing more self soothing first. Also ask yourself if there are any ways in which you could be self abandoning. Long distance relationships are not easy and tend to carry much more comp…
Some of the things you are saying seem to contradict each other. So I think I am missing some context or you are talking about several different things. If you have trouble being by yourself how is …
Keep yourself busy. Try to find a hobby like gaming, music, sports or even reading a book.