not having

This post is not pointless. It isn't "techniques" that make it happen. It's the state. She moved states from "not having" to "having". Consciousness is the only reality. We are Pure consciousnes…

Start Here: Essential Resources & FAQs — The idea for this post came up in [this thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Wordpress/comments/1cpme25/mods_can_this_subreddit_implement_a_minimum_karma/) by wiz to avoid the number of similar questions …

Solo founder here—bootstrapped a travel startup, no bookings yet. Influencer model failed, paid ads feel too risky. What would you do? — Hi everyone, I’m a solo founder of hopmytrip.com trying to build a travel group tour platform—basically fixed-date trips to places like Bali, Thailand, and Vietnam, where people from any country can …

For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…

Is it just me or is "date secure people" a bad idea? — To be specific, people who were born into families that fostered secure attachment. Not earned secures. I think the latter is exactly what I need but there's no stat on how much of the population is e…

Another real life example of how clear communication can be distorted into a victim narrative. Emotions can rewrite history, too. There are two sides to every story. — Receipts! Slides 1-2: Their version of events Slide 3: only a snippet of all their comments on vent/rant threads and others. Removed by automod for not having a user flair (a clear rule and automod …

Recovery. I don’t care to be in a relationship.. did he break me or is this healthy? — 1 year and 2 months! Getting better (and who ever said this is a quick recovery is wrong this takes a lot of time, dedication, work and lots of waves of emotions.) Things are mentally getting better …

College was supposed to be my escape plan — I'm so angry that I'm literally shaking while typing this. My dream all four years of high school was to get good grades and standardized test scores and participate in extracurriculars to get into a …

Why Being Ok With Not Having Your Desire Manifests It Faster — It’s a very contradictory thing in manifesting where you desire something, but you’re told to let it go and not care about whether or not you have it (because in 4D you already have it). But let’s fo…

has teletherapy actually felt “real” for you or does it feel distant compared to in person? — I’ve only ever pictured therapy happening in an office with a couch and awkward water fountain in the waiting room but lately most of my local providers are suggesting teletherapy instead of in person…

My dad (56M) cut me off (21) for sleeping over at my boyfriend’s house. Now he’s blowing up at me and ruining our relationship beyond repair. — \-Sorry had to repost due to not having line breaks. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with my dad. He’s very controlling and has always been a “helicopter” parent when I was growing up. I a…

Feeling kind of stuck with the tapes — I’ve been doing the tapes since last summer. I’m not having strong experiences at this point. When I first started them I had some interesting increased ESP. Then I went through a phase where they rea…

Alone — The loneliness gets you. Not having those goodmorning texts,"I love you" "be safe" or ""l miss you" after hearing it everyday is crushing. It's lonely and sad. I don't miss them. We split a while ago…

33f. Divorcing, plenty of love, no infidelity, almost 20 years, just incompatible. — I’m heartbroken. Husband and I have been together for the best part of 20 years. Met when we were teens. Truly love one another, deeply. We’ve had a pretty dead bedroom for most of our time together. …

Why do I struggle to form intense friendships/relationships? — Hi everyone Since young I’ve always had a bit of an insecurity about not having much intensity or overt vehemence to my personality and I think it’s affected my relationships with people for a while …

She snuck out with a "friend" while we were at a party — Hello everyone, this is all still very new since I just founf out about everything 3 days ago. I (24M) am in deep intense pain in knowing that my girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me at least 4 times …

Endogenous DMT activation in sleep? Spontaneous breakthrough-like state with fractals, death sensation, head pops, high-pitched noise — [](/r/DMT/?f=flair_name%3A%22Experience%22)So this is going to sound stupidly insane but… I need to put it somewhere for someone who might understand. Background: had a 6g mushroom trip a while back.…

How to help my wife? Severe depression over lack of suitable work after 2yrs. I'm desperate. — My wife has been struggling hard with life since we moved over a year ago. She has anxiety and depression which has gotten worse. I help by doing more stuff around the home and trying to be supportive…

When does “just being single” cross into being non-monogamous? — If someone is having sex with multiple people, on an ongoing basis, I always thought that was polyamory/ENM. I myself automatically go exclusive after the first time I sleep with someone, and verball…

Anyone NOT having a rough time dating? — I mean dating was no picnic in my 20s before I got married, lots of weird people out there and a ton of immaturity in the 20s. I see so many horror stories that paint an even worse picture in 40s, an…

My (29M) prenup with my fiance (28W) pays her for having children. My parents (65M, 62W) are telling me to call off the wedding — **EDIT 2: It's occurred to me that I don't know how to close a post. Really I just wanted to hear what other married/engaged folks were doing. Thanks the advice for those who gave it.** **EDIT: Real…

Anybody else waking up earlier just because they love mornings? — I would like to join the 5 am club not for any productivity reasons, not to optimize my day or anything. But just because I love mornings and don’t get enough of them right now. I looove a slow morni…

People who started studying stoicism as teens or young adults, how has your perception changed overtime? — 18 year old this side, I just put down *A Guide to the Good Life* and I am now wondering how much of how I look at the philosophy and life as a whole will change overtime. I feel, one of the biggest…

Anyone had a parent who wasn't interested in any interaction with them as a child? — I've been talking about this with my therapist and I wonder how common this is among people who went through abuse/neglect. All the kids around me were at least able to have some sort of conversatio…

what finally got me to shift - I broke my mind ⋆˚࿔ — I used to be the person who would try to shift every single night and wake up crying from a failed attempt because I was so frustrated with the fact that I wasn’t shifting. I thought that I fully be…

Stop Looking for the 3D to Change — ​ ​I finally stopped checking for my manifestation and that is when everything shifted. ​For weeks I was obsessing over the outcome. I was constantly looking for signs and feeling that knot i…

Leaving my relationship for the right reason — Me (m30) and my partner (f39) have been together for 8 years. We have two kids below 4. She has been diagnosed with different mental health issues. She has also had two very rough childbirths. During …

I need to let go — Me bf (32M) and I (31F) have been off and on for the past 2 years. We were engaged at one point but I called the engagement off. During our relationship he was angry about alot of things...money, his …

About no contact. — I just wanted to say that, yes, you should go no contact if you got dumped, only way that someone will realize what they lost is by not having access to it anymore, could take days, weeks and months f…

28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. — 28M, 30F, wife and I are distancing and I don't know what to do. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. My (28M) wife (30F) and I have been distancing lately. We have been together for almost 5 year…

I (27F) keep getting mocked about my lack of friends by my boyfriend (32M) — To provide context, my boyfriend (32M) has had the same friends since he was in diapers and I love that for him. I’ve had friends in phases as a result of my upbringing. For more information, I grew …

I Can't Stand My Mom — When I was younger, my parents basically used me as an emotional punching bag. Most of the memories I have of my childhood are them screaming at me over some minor mistake that I made. A lot of the ti…

Could use some compassion - I broke up with my ex of nearly two decades last fall. I was codependent on him for everything. — TW: a depressing and heavy post, self blame, neglect I left him last August after realizing we were holding each other back. I wanted to get married but he just… never proposed. At one point we did …

My husband cheated. I don't want 50/50 custody. I also don't know if I can stay with my husband. I don't know what to do. — Both options suck. I found out my husband cheated on me during my pregnancy with our first child (which we both wanted). It was a physical and emotional affair. It continued after our son was born. It…

UPDATE 1 my sister (F32) got married to her husband (M32) 5 months ago and is having an affair? — my sister (F32) got married to her husband (M32) 5 months ago and is having an affair? I (21F) am looking for advice as I'm in a really tricky situation. so backstory..... my sister and her now hus…

Is my Saturnian or Moon energy more powerful? — I know as a cancer rising my chart ruler is the moon but with all of my Aquarius stellium placements am I able to say I have Saturnian influence or how does this show up in contrast to each other? I k…

Intentionally having bad sex? — OK, so this one was a new one to me. I (50f) have been dating a guy (51m) for about two months. Took it semi-slow on having sex by agreement \~6 dates 4+ weeks of dates. First time was wonderful. T…

i broke up with my partner of 3.5 years - advice? — burner acc as i just need to get this out and it’s kinda long, but would appreciate queer perspectives as it’s kinda relevant. but on friday, i broke up with my partner of 3.5 years (basically out of…

My parents are shaming for not having a career at 25. And want me to get married instead. — F 2000 born. I completed my Master’s in 2024, and since then I have been at home unemployed. I will be honest, I was not serious during this time. I was very laid back, did not prepare well for jobs, …

Should i Be that hurt??? — I just needed somewhere to vent, not even sure who’s gonna see this or respond, or even look at this whole thing tbh lol I’m 24M, she’s 23F. We met on a dating app Jan 15, 2026, made it official Feb…

Me (M21) and my gf (F21) broke up and no contact — You’re probably reading this wow another break up story with the same details. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up. We’ve had prior issues and mostly with me and that was because I wasn’t really …

Not sure how to make friends after my mom destroyed any attempts I made growing up — I just remembered this as I woke up and checked my phone and there were no messages or anything. My mom was completely emotionally immature and unavailable and I turned to boys for attention. This got…

“Parents are only meant to get you to 18 years old” — I was talking with a 65 year old guy that I work for, and he noticed that I was more reserved/flat than normal. I opened up a bit about how I was feeling, and how 'behind' my girlfriend and I felt abo…

Have you ever manifested a life you thought you could never have/thought you'd have to work very hard to get? (Please respond if so, I'm so emotional right now) — okay I am almost in tears, because I feel so lonely and behind (21) I feel so hopeless and sad because I truly am behind in life, not only that, I don't have the money to do the things I want to or ge…

Thinking about my ex constantly — ​ I haven't stopped thinking about my ex since we've broken up. I've been with my ex from the end of February to half of August last year. Since then, she's been on my mind almost non-stop. I …

it still feels like dying. — i didn't want to post here out of fear he'd see it. but what do i really have to lose at this point? he was my first love. my first boyfriend, my first time. the first person who showed me i was wort…

Letter to Self before Meeting her — Figured it helped a few on other subs so I would add here. I've also been told to warn it may be a trigger to some. Hey dumbass, I don’t really know how to start this without it feeling unreal, beca…

It Doesn't Get Better — My two year breakup anniversary is coming up and let me tell you I'm not even slightly better than I was when we broke up. I've dated and slept with other women, made new friends after not having an…

Am I 30F ruining my relationship with my bf 31M over not having kids? — I 30F and my boyfriend 31M have been together for six years, living together for five. Before that we were friends for two years. We are still incredibly in love, best friends, and I want to spend th…

Do we view going to prostitutes as cheating? — Edit: I don’t know why anyone would think i’d stay with this man, i made it clear im not okay with this. We’re already divorcing, i just need insights from those who experienced both types of betrayal…

Partner and best friend for 6 years cheated online — It's hard to think how much I still love this girl. We were engaged, relationship started on rocky terms and she was on drugs. Helped her get off them and shared everything I know, we were 4 years apa…

Everyone coming here from the other subs is blessed to have finally sought a break from the emotional self-harm that seems to be at the core of the methodology in these other groups... which I took pa…

I feel that. Torn away from the ex after two years? Fine. Not having the kids as constants in my life? JFC shoot me. Blessedly they still want to stay close and their dad fully supports that. I canno…

It’s hard moving on when you’re still so in love w/ them. I can’t get him out of my head. Idk how to move on and thinking about it hurts more bc I never wanted it to end to begin with. I lost my soul …

Yeah, most people break up not having tried couples therapy, or truly starting to fix finances, or many other things. They just get fed up from repressing resentment that could've been mediated by a p…

I totally agree that there is a general trend to project personal issues and give drastic advice, especially since... well, it's not your life. I particularly notice it when it comes to fear of a par…

That's not answering her question and you are being a corrupt liar. You would download 10 languages and 20 skills in a heartbeat if you could do it to your brain just like you could load programs onto…

When I said self hate, I meant those posts which very obviously points to OP not having a desire to be better. It refers to posts just venting and talking about how useless and worthless they are, how…

1. That doesnt disprove anything. It just means it may be more difficult. That's like saying mindfulness doesn't work because some people have ADHD.  2. Decent point but keep in mind some scientist …

I’ll take a crack at it Point 1: The answer is sm vs cm thought. Daydreaming is not focused with intent, the mind often wonders and you still feel it’s not true in the end or with emotions that are …

I respect how politely you've addressed this. But please see the other perspective too: 1. Most people are told by their avoidantly attached partner that they're clingy when they're just trying to n…

I am in the same boat. Had my FA (maybe DA? I never knew about attachment theory until her. She was extremely committed and IN. LOVE. for 2 years and was much more anxious and attached. Then she was j…

It’s a band aid on a gunshot wound but It’s sure better than not having it

The depth of their reflections if you ask them about previous relationships, how they healed, what they want from a partner, relationship with parents… etc How they feel around children: if they’re …

This one is loaded, and I really feel it. As someone who's actively working through avoidant tendencies, I’ll say this: therapy *was* a must for me. I get the hesitation—there’s stigma, fear of being …

Yeah… I had a rough time with my DA ex but he never suggested sleeping with anyone while we took some time apart. As for how long, it depends on the person. He usually didn’t need more than a week b…

I’ve read about limerence. Does that happen even if I’m a straight woman? I thought there had to be something like romantic feelings for limerence. I see her as my sister but I’m so used to her being …

Guys I’m in a predicament. I am with this girl(20) and me who’s(22) we started talking around April, and everything has been going good. We started talking and having fun together and building a deep …

No, I do set boundaries. I’m a very loving person and enjoy supporting people and don’t see it as transactional. My boundaries *are* that if I’ve extensively emotionally supported someone I expect, at…

\* HINT \* - don't be dismissive, arrogant, a pompous azz, or rude. ASSUME Experiencers are, in fact, telling the truth. Also assume we are smart enough to have gone down the checklist of prosaic an…

Wow, thank you for this, I found the analogy of the carrot very helpful. I'm realizing that as an anxiously attached person, I want to work on myself a lot. This then translates to wanting my partner …

So much time has gone by and they abandoned themselves by not addressing the matter and instead probably making narratives in their own head about the whole thing. They sound like they felt slighted b…

Wow! That is so insightful! Holy heck, why isn't this comment at the top?! That makes so much sense that it kind of hurts a little. And, to be up front, the only way I've ever been able to feel "heale…

Recently, I've been adopting the mentality of "is this productive for me?". How am I scheduling my days to show up for myself, reach my goals, finding fulfillment, and being a better version of myself…

Thank you. My HOPE is to spend the next few year(s) alone, building a life and nervous system I can trust. I do have the occasional pernicious panic about not having a partner, and I definitely have a…

You can have as many requirements on a partner as you want. The more requirements you have, the likelier you'll be single. But realistically, people don't date the first homeless person on the streets…

Hi! I'd like to know how someone with anxious-avoidant attachment transitioned to secure attachment, especially regarding expectations. I know expectations are the root of the problems I've had with m…

Also new - I share the same commitment to ask for help and engage my support network. I left my friends kind of ignored the past couple years due to not having the capacity to social due to a difficul…

I can relate to a lot of this! For context, I come from a background where controlled emotions and behaviour is very normal and almost rewarded, so for me, that's always been my comfort zone. Additio…

>Yeah I can relate. When I first was doing that manifestation, it was hard for me also because I am very analytical, skeptical, and come from a scientific background basing everything on verified fact…

Hypervigilance is very much associated with AA. I've being doing a lot of work on healing AA in the past 1.5 years and I couldn't believe how many characteristics and behaviours of mine are associated…

Boundaries are the lines between us and other people. They're the rules we set for ourselves to protect our wellbeing and ensure we are acting in accordance with our values and beliefs. Sort of like …

IMO what is disguised or easily assumed to be “avoiding conflict” in this instance can also be respect for others’ autonomy. Like, hey, those people deserve to have their own support group and I’m not…

How common are these boundaires and are they a little strict or have I just been with very nonchalant men thus far? (Dating for a few months and we’re in our 30s) -doesn’t want me to get tipsy with g…

>no opposite sex 1-1 hangouts- I am ok with this and don’t want my partner hanging out w women 1-1 either excepting colleagues for a quick day time coffee or long standing platonic female friends if i…

People are wild sometimes. I’m also not a big texter (and am trying to be less tied to my phone this year in general) so I feel you. Had someone send me a first message at like midnight ish the other …

weeellllll it kinda blew up in my face today. i dont think they can give me what i need anyway, they have a LOT going on right now, which, understandably would make them unavailable, but idk. i felt l…

32 nb Update! 5th(?) no, 6th(?) date w 39m last night, we watched a movie together at mine and kept pausing the movie to talk. I like him more and more…and so the Switch has Flipped in my brain where…

You said you've been healing for 4 months, and I'd say that given this short time frame, you're doing okay and are on the right track. "Healing" is a process that can take years and is never entirely …

I’m 29M and I’m just now starting to date I’m not sure how to approach it. Now that most of my friends are married I don’t get out much. I go the gym most days and play rec sports a couple nights. The…

With Valentine’s Day approaching, I noticed that quite a few people are bummed out about being single, not having a romantic dinner planned, not getting a special little gift that day etc. Not gonna t…

Why didn't you educate him then? If he doesn't know then he doesn't know, that's not necessarily his fault. Not having a go, I just feel like not correcting him is counter productive to building the w…

I’m 29M and I’m just now starting to date I’m not sure how to approach it. Now that most of my friends are married I don’t get out much and my weekends are mostly pretty quiet. I go the gym most days …

> Coffee dates do not have a romantic vibe. I prefer a happy hour - drinks and maybe an appetizer. Could you explain the difference between the two? Because for me they look exactly the same - you go…

I know this is not going to be a popular opinion, but panicking over not having contact for 4 hours is a bit over the top. doesnt excuse hurtful things said, but sometimes things bubble over in anger…

Interesting timing,I have gotten in conflict with my partner about this. We have been seeing each other for a year now. On most weekdays, because we live half an hour apart ,we chat on the phone al…

Chance in the future? Did I mess this up? Is there a chance in the future? How to stop thinking of someone you never dated? I (f in my 30s) connected with a m in his 30s on hinge. We both seemed v…

>Guess the question is how important is finding a partner in your life? I was kind of in OP's position, not having a real adult relationship until pretty late. Everything seemed fine as it was, frien…

All my friends and co workers are married. 40M living in Denver or one of the most difficult dating cities for men. I have male meetups all the time, they’re called weekends. Seriously there’s a singl…

Nah the content of the message indicates he wasn’t slow fading. I’m still not interested in this either way, just thought I’d gotten away with not having to send a rejection text when I didn’t hear f…

I can relate, I’ve been in a very similar situation but I didn’t realise I was a DA and she was FA until after I divorced. I can only give you insight on things I’ve learned and realised over the yea…