I said

Broke up with DA after a year. — Met her a year ago, almost to the day. Things started well, relatively slowly which was nice for a change compared to other situations I have been in around that time. After two months, we became offi…

Reading interest in text — I am looking for some feedback or insight. I’m 49m and she is 50f. I met her on a dating app. It was great energy and really engaging. We went on a great date and she was very complementary and we di…

I got ghosted and I feel blindsided — I (26F) met a guy (26M) 3 months ago who was in every sense of the word my dream guy. We spent 1 week together before he left back to his country. Ever since we have Facetimed every single day, and we…

Sharing my learnings as a mid-seniority job seeker — I started job-hunting in April. After two weeks of sending applications and receiving zero feedback (only ghosting), I scheduled a few calls with my mentor. Based in Eastern Europe and looking for a f…

Interview for associate devops role, not sure how it went, need opinions — I had a technical discussion with with a smaller company(around 100-200 employees) and they are filling out a new devops team. I have 7 YOE at large tech companies as a software engineer, but my dutie…

How to Wreck Your Career: a cautionary tale from someone who has 5 years of experience.. — Context:- I am a 31 year old UX designer with a masters degree in industrial design from one of the top design schools here in India. I have almost 6 years of experience on the paper of which I hav…

The way we use ‘UX design’ today doesn’t feel right anymore. — It’s starting to feel vague, like saying we’re “designing happiness. But happiness isn’t designed directly. It’s the outcome of doing a lot of things right: clarity, trust, usefulness. UX used to p…

Interview for the same company from 2 recruiters (UK) — Hey, I'm in a bit of an awkward position and could do with some advice. I had a recruiter reach out to me last week about a role that was coming up. I said they could send my CV over. On Friday a di…

Are PageBuilders (PageFly, Gem PageBuilder, etc.) worth it? — Hi guys. I want a unique and custom layout for my e-commerce, and the possibility to build custom pages such as landing pages, unique pages for products, seasonal pages, etc. I saw a few posts from p…

Duolingo leader throws shade at r/UXDesign — You all might remember this thread a few months ago, [debating Duolingo renaming UX to “Product Experience.”](https://www.reddit.com/r/UXDesign/comments/1j3hvkw/duolingo_renames_ux/) The VP Mig announ…

I don't know what to do about my giveaway — I own a super small online jewellery business as a hobby, as I'm still in school. Since Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday, I decided to host a little giveaway for my few followers, expecting at mo…

Fellow DAs, do you sometimes experience people taking it personally when you need space to be by yourself? — I'm a DA as stated in the title. By "needing space" I'm not necessarily talking about romantic relationships only. I've had situations where I've been on holiday with people and when I wanted to just …

It’s frustrating how often I run into women with Avoidant tendencies. — I’m at a point where I just end things early if I see too many Avoidant tendencies early, but it seems like women with Avoidant tendencies are drown to me more often than secure or anxious which I’d r…

Anyone Else Feel Relationships just Aren't for them? — Hello all, I'm basically pretty severely A.P. , & so far I've been unable to get close to anyone (romantically) in my life without just exploding with terror that I'll be abandoned (or feeling a stro…

Why hold out hope for other people to meet my needs when it feels more productive and ultimately better to want nothing from other people? — I try my best to be the most attentive friend I can be no matter my internal state. I don't mind doing this for the people I value, and it makes me feel better to be helpful to other people, although …

For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…

Losing (F23, AA) my mind in my relationship with my (F22, DA) sister. — We’ve had some real struggles, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel generally pretty secure outside of this one relationship, but recently it’s been making my AA flair up in my romantic partnersh…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

Dating someone with a fearful-avoidant style has been unexpectedly… gentle? — I wanted to share a relationship experience that’s been genuinely interesting and surprisingly positive, especially for FAs and anyone curious about FA dynamics. If you are not interested in some per…

Avoidance seeking help: what if he’s not avoidant like me, but he actually just has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about? — Been in contact with a guy for about 6 months now who has been pursuing me the entire time, subtly. When we first met, I had just broken up with my ex a couple of months prior to that (6-month long…

Dr Joseph Murphy's view on the Bible — Did Dr Joseph Murphy believe the people in the Bible to be actual living people? or just states of mind? I have these books: * The Power of Your Subconscious Mind * The Cosmic Power Within You * You…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

Can I get some assurance from reformed people pleasers 🥲? — And some advice? Not necessarily on "what to do" because I know how to set boundaries in theory. It's managing the guilt and fear of fallout that I struggle with and I do because all my life any time …

Deactivation or undisclosed breakup? — I'm a FA woman...in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant....all was good, until past Christmas holidays , his bday and all situations when they deactivated.. he was the one who planned being wit…

Bf of 14 months hasn’t said I love you — My bf (35M) and I (33F) met December 2024 on a dating app and became exclusive immediately after our first date. On our first few dates he asked what I was looking for and I said I was looking for som…

Avoidant conversation patterns are confusing me - should I address them? — I’m (secure leaning anxious) getting some confusing conversations patterns from an avoidant friend. And I don’t know if I should address it or just let things continue to play out. Context; we disco…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…

How honest are securely attached people? — I'm curious how honest secure people are with others in their life. I'm healing from dismissive avoidant attachment and my instinct whenever something bothers or upsets me is to dismiss it as not a bi…

my(F28) bf(M30) thinks themed bridal shower of my friend is stupid and my costume is stupid. — I (F28) am a teacher and my boyfriend(M30) works for a company. we have been together for 4 years and are highly compatible. He has always been reserved and quiet and introvert by nature. i'm more of …

My boyfriend and I had an argument over his marriage demands, and now he claims he means none of it... — Tl:dr: My boyfriend of two years has a list of requirements from me after we get married, and after our argument over it, which lead us to break up-- he said he didn't mean any of it and wants to go …

I'm not a gnome, no seriously though — So the r/shrooms sub banned me for a short period of time because of my posts, even though they literally have a flair that says "Meme" it all started with a post about me slowly feeling like becomi…

True kindness is displayed under circumstances where being unkind would have been justified. — I am currently reading Marcus Aurilleus' *Meditations* as my first Stoic book. > When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, …

Read! if you were anxious ! — I am going to write this with neville goddard lectures quotes. I know it will help some of you :) **Feel the wish fullfilled :** I know some people can't generate the feeling of wish fullfilled and b…

I have done absolutely horrible things. I might be the worst human being to ever live. — 20M. This might be the longest post you'll ever read. I believe I have OCD and do nothing but ruminate 24/7 about my past. I have been in isolation for the last 3 years. It started as a fear of adult…

Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …

Experiences With Cosmic Entities. — Hello everyone! This post will be a little bit different, as i wish to dive into odd encounters that i had with different beings, that surprisingly helped me out a *lot* - more than i could have possi…

Married 5 months after 10 years together (M32 / F29) — she started talking to another guy right after the wedding. We’re now on a 30-day separation and I don’t know what to do. — I’m looking for honest advice from people who have either been through something like this or have perspective I might not be seeing right now. My wife (F29) and I (M32) have been together for about …

„Did you forgive them yet?“ — I stood my ground and said NO. — I opened up about my abuse to a 'spiritual friend'. His first question was: „Have you managed to forgive them yet?“ I said NO. And it's NOT my duty to forgive. He said „But forgiveness causes healin…

Lack will dissolve when you realise: Manifestation starts from irony, and feeling it real starts from memory. — I said it. This post is for people whose brains are very logic driven. Those who think: “I need to see proof before I believe something.” i have something for you. Let's go. We all know the key: The…

Has this happened to anyone in a lucid dream before — So to make this short, I don't ever lucid dream becausei don't know how to trigger it. In my dream I just became aware I was in a dream randomly I was in an unknown city in an unknown shopping mall wi…

did i mess up by telling my therapist i feel like i'll end up killing myself in the end? — i had been going to this therapist for like year and a half. at one vulnerable moment i told her i feel like i'll just end up killing myself in the end. (i maybe didnt word it correctly, i just didnt …

I feel like the only one not trying to permashift. Is anyone else trying to make round trips? — The title pretty much covers my primary inquiry. I don't see a lot of people posting about reality shifting or their goals therein unless it's about permashifting. I'm not shaming anyone for permashif…

My Fiancé kicked me out with only a few hours notice — This is the situation I am in. About a week ago my fiancé (25 M) brought up how he has some problems with me (25 F). We have been together for almost three years. He said he cant bring up sensitive to…

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

DO NOT GIVE UP — DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! I have so much to say. But ima try to keep it short ish. I just wanted to make a quick post about my journey. I’ve been “manifesting” for five years. I actually have not. Those f…

Met up with ex after no contact for over 10 months.It went pleasantly. — For anybody wondering whether they should reach out, it went well for me. I was also uncertain how it would go. The relationship ended very badly, we did therapy and it didnt help. I thought id never…

I (31M) have a situation with an aunt (70F) where she thinks she is my handler, she won't back off whenever I tell her to knock it off. — I'm just curious if my pushback is the only solution, or if I need to rethink my approach with this aunt, I'm going to use my sister's wedding night to paint the picture of what I've dealt with all my…

>you said that lucid dreaming is an internal experience while AP is a real and tangible one I said this, however that is not the total truth - the opposite can also be true, check out the video under…

So.. id classify myself as a relatively spiritual person.. over the last few months ive tried meditating 5 or so times.. ive had sleep paralysis about 5 times as well in my life.. more so in the last …

yes , it took me like 2 months to master it , all i did was lay on the back look up and close my eyes , i would invision seeing myself fly around my neighborhood while doing this practice , , this ga…

What if I ruined the chance of possibly not getting back together due to me being an emotional abuser??For example, she broke up with me because of unhappiness, goal of finishing her college degree, a…

I just need to vent: 10 years wasted would’ve been our 11th in a few weeks. We broke up last week due to an argument that we had. We were supposed to go to a concert together. She asked me “what time…

I’m in that situation now. When asked if he wanted to continue seeing me, he said he wasn’t sure of me and he didn’t like feeling it this way and that we should probably stop seeing each other for now…

no, you are missing the HUGE part of what I said "and not do any of those things enough to want to get back together". It is almost UNIVERSAL unless you did truly heinous shit like rape / abuse, etc. …

One other pet peeve of mine is people who argue in the comment threads but don't try to give the OP any advice of their own. Like you have told me before you think what I said is stupid.....but you a…

Thank you so much for saying this. I said some things, calmly and collectively to my soon to be ex husband last evening, which were all true, but reflecting back today I wondered if he may have thoug…

Thank you so much for this! Actually, also 12 years and my husband had an affair 6 months ago and a new one now that I discovered right after a very sad (for me) Thanksgiving. So I get what you’re say…

The Index is just a long list of books, post and stories (dozens of them by the way), what exactly should I be looking for in the Index? Like I said I'm already reading the books of Murphy, can't keep…

When I said self hate, I meant those posts which very obviously points to OP not having a desire to be better. It refers to posts just venting and talking about how useless and worthless they are, how…

As I said above, it's for people who has tons of disbelief, to start small and BUILD up. You, as in most people need faith to be built. Well.. My first moneymission I had 80k out of the blue, it's one…

you can do it correctly all you want - it has to be permanent in you SM, and in response slowly changes your CM that you even start forgetting about desire. How many times you want want want smth, and…

Like I said in the original post, don’t split hairs and try to claim that Joseph Murphy said something different. “What you focus on, expands” and “what you believe in, manifests” are essentially the …

This explains how I let things get so out of control with avoidant types as I’m an introvert and quite secure independent and confident but after a year I started feeling like the relationship wasn’t …

I would suggest you reread my comment again. I said I didn’t want romantic relationships to take up 80% of my life, which is a major and unsustainable deviation from the normal relationship pattern of…

Thanks for your opinion on my 10% figure. Besides that, I did not say partners should be at my convenience. I said other aspects of life can throw a relationship’s typical patterns out of balance. Ha…

Hey u/false\_athenian it will probably be a year before I give it live. But, l like I said you can still sign up on the original sign up page for either a donation or scholarship and get the recordin…

As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise.  I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…

I don’t know about anyone else but when I’m deregulated I don’t know how to talk—full on freeze mode. Especially with conflict. I honestly need space to collect my thoughts. Communicating this is biz…

My lil cousin(20F) was having relationship issues- she is an avoidant and he is an anxious. I pointed this pattern out and she said, "My therapist said the same, does having this attachment mean I'll …

Ahah sorry for the confusion 😁 We were dating and I thought he wanted a relationship, as he said that. Then he said he can’t commit and wanted to stay casual and I said that was ok with me, but I wo…

Funnily enough a situationship dismissive avoidant got upset with me when I said  i just need space, he thought I was blaming him for my feelings and I said no I need time to process my feelings... in…

Well, like I said, if she didn't improve, I would walk away. But things have been on the up trend. We no longer have periods of no contact. I interact with her every day like we used to at the start. …

Look, I do understand where you're coming from. And I can tell you're only looking out for me. But think about it this way. Things have been really good, really stable and I do feel genuine connection…

Yes my own experiences, but also if you read comments/posts not just from Reddit, you will find very common themes across the board with relationships with avoidants, the truth is it’s very difficult …

Yea, it was a daily check. She said she felt it to be harmless and that she had ample time to do it. It didn't feel confrontational to her. It was just a simple prompt and all you had to do was choose…

Curious to know why you’d assume she felt pressured. Would you feel pressured? Just asking because like I said, did I get lucky? Is this really a solution to bridge the gap or is it a one off?

Not necessary, but I think it's common - Not wanting to share anything. My ex didn't want to share many details about themselves, even in the beginning, when things were great. And I said: it's okay, …

Tbh I look for someone who is able to understand my POV when I tell a story, means show empathy not dismissing/judging, someone who is able to reassure me when I have my doubts, someone who doesnt tre…

What you have said mirrors almost exactly what I felt and went through, including me explaining to her briefly at the end about attachement issues and asking if she wanted to know more, and whether sh…

My last astral projection experience well it's pretty intense. I was going super sonic speed up into outer space beyond the cosmos and all of a sudden I heard a pop and my eye was opened and I was in …

I have just learned about attachment Theory and believe my partner is avoidant( not sure if da or fa as still a bit confusing to me) I felt like my avoidant partner was putting me through test. At the…

At no point have I said “you should stay in something that is actively damaging you”. I’m just saying that I think it’s fair to try to see things from the other person’s perspective instead of pointin…

Love this comment. I’ve found it to be so true. For a regular ex I was with for nearly a decade and we had a fairly normal/stable/secure attachment to each other, maybe a little bit dependent on each …

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

Look I’m not go back in forth with you after this, I mostly answered because for someone who said some good points you got quickly derailed and started projecting your own trauma. It wasn’t a gotcha. …

You claimed that the most toxic things APs do is “have too much empathy,” which amusingly points to one of the primary hurdles APs have to overcome in order to heal.  I claim that the most toxic shit …

😂😂 I didn’t say that. This is why I’m saying you don’t have a point you’re just arguing with yourself. I didn’t say the most toxic thing APs do is having “too much empathy”. I’ve never mentioned AP…

Maybe? :) We love each other like crazy. We just have ZERO drama, because we are both mature and look after our own sh!t. The other day he snapped at me, when we were trying to check our new (big)…

When I said you guys I meant avoidants. A partner feeling sharing themselves with me isn't a burden and my emotions aren't their responsibility, but it's nice to know I have someone who isn't going to…

Ah seeing this after the parent comment and thank you that someone else pointed out the fallacy. When my ex brought it up I said what I truly want which is to have atleast 1 kid and yes to marriage. …

My ex came back 4 times in 2 years. Every time the cycles were the same but condensed, like at first it was long nights of processing our breakup over text and finally meeting up and saying I love yo…

Im sort of thinking of sending a similar message to someone. How to make this more concrete without sounding desperate or clingy? We stopped talking several months ago, he ignored my casual massage fe…

Of wanting to be in a relationship, if he was ready for fully committing, and he was EXTRA scared of hurting me. He knew he liked me but being in a relationship felt stressful. And I was able to stay …

No, that's what I'm saying. And I didn't say 'fully healed', I said 'healed'. Or healing.

I appreciate the clarity that yes we are mostly saying the same, but by avoiding dating I meant I refused to be in a relationship or do anything past casual. My current relationship is my first ever r…

Like I said in my reply to the above comment, I realized I blurred the lines between friendship and coworker. I’ve said this as well when I apologized to her. I’m not saying this as an excuse but she …

I'm still very new to this forum, but from I can see people here tend to explain the totality of events solely based on the attachment theory. While it does explain why someone with insecure attachmen…