book
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
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Citations (59)
How to support partner processing their parents were emotionally immature — I (37F) and my partner (37M) have been married nearly 12 years and have 3 young children. My childhood was very happy and secure. I have wonderful relationships with my parents and I am eternally grat…
Trading book recommendation! For those trying to fix attachment issues. — “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” -by Lindsay C. Gibson, PHD This book helped me realize that, at my core, I struggle with dating and attachment because it’s hard for me to comprehend …
Will I ever not feel so lonely? (Seeking input from older folks on this platform) — I am nearly 47 years old and the emotional neglect I suffered as a kid and still suffer at the hands of my parents, still has such a profound impact on me. I know there are people of all ages in this …
Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…
Potentially unpopular opinion re: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — Just finished “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” by Lindsay Gibson after seeing several recommendations for it on subreddits like these. I thought the book had some good info, and I’ll a…
Anyone know of a subreddit that deals with this issue? — Does anyone know where I can find out more about emotional immaturity from my parents on the opposite end of the spectrum? I thought I would benefit from the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immatur…
Tim Fletcher, his reading list — https://youtu.be/q0RiIkd9\_pc \* the Body Keeps The Score (Bessel van Der Kolk) \* What Happened To You? (Bruce Perry w/Oprah Winfrey) \* The Myth of Normal (Gabor Maté) \* When The Body Say…
Anyone Else Wish They Hadn't Been Diagnosed? — For the longest time I had always thought I was cursed, or there was something off about me, and that for whatever reason I couldn't seem to function and do relationships the way normal people do. I a…
How did other people learn that it was emotional neglect that they experienced growing up? — I am 40 and have been in and out of therapy since I was a pre-teen. I have never had a therapist call it emotional neglect. It wasn’t until last year, that a therapist brought up the book “Adult Child…
Healing without going no contact is really hard. I think you might benefit from reading "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" (I think you can find it on YT for free). Specifically, "Detach…
Assessing Adult Attachment by Dr. Crittenden was a really validating book for myself personally. It isn’t really a self-help book though. But if you have a curiosity on attachment that is more in ali…
Jonice Webb PhD Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect Ichiro Kishimi The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real…
Great recommendation! Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is a cornerstone for understanding why validation can feel tied to self-erasure. What really stands out is you checked in with your…
For me, the key has been not to try to "fix." The urges you have aren't the enemy, they're your system trying to protect you, and going to war against them or judging them will often result in entrenc…
Hi I previously recommended these to someone so will copy and paste it here Book on understanding and healing trauma : 📚The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma…
Thank you so much for the reply, and I apologize that mine is so late! This is very insightful, and it resonated a lot with me. I don’t think this is related to attachment theory, but I really strug…
Have you read “adult children of emotionally immature parents”? 🫠 Sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s not your fault
Adult children of emotionally immature parents was the most important book in my journey
For me it required me to find the right therapist, which took a long time. I also happened to stumble upon some great books like Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, etc. and I started jour…
Hello, I had a similar perfectionist mother. Mine was a covert narcissist who secretly enjoyed pitting people against each other, but always under the guise of "kindness" and "what's best for her chil…
Go watch Lindsay Gibson and Monique Koven's video on the adult children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I bet you will see him in it. If you don't have kids with this person, it's a great time to lea…
I feel your pain (also, your username is fucking cool 😭). I stopped trying years ago to train mine. If they won't change for me (their blood) I figure they won't change for anyone unless there's mon…
Oof, same. I'm just realizing that I was entirely emotionally alone my whole childhood. I'm reading "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents", and everything in it has resonated. I have a mix o…
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm definitely worried about something like this happening. I don't feel hopeful after that session and have switched to acceptance mode. I switched to review…
To answer the question, it is not inherently abuse/emotional neglect to expect a kid to be more self sufficient around that age. Now that last part, “feeling alone your whole life” emotionally is most…
Hey, I literally feel like I could've written this. I've always had an aversion to telling my mother anything about my personal life because I can't trust her, she'll either tell everyone in a gossi…
Your mention of self help books reminded me of an immature idea I’ve been mulling over 😆. A few of my siblings are usually with my mom for Xmas. I am tempted to gift all of my siblings a copy of Adul…
Hey Op, honestly - our stories are kinda similar. I got with my stbxh when I was 23. I spent 10 years with him. In 2022, he had an online affair with a coworker that spanned over a year. And like you,…
Let yourself grieve the loss of what you should have been given, then educate yourself about emotionally immature parents. My favorite literature is the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Par…
My experience was really similar to this. Both of my parents were traumatized as hell from their own abusive childhoods, and likely some kind of neurodivergent on top of that. They were both frequentl…
Adult children of emotionally immature parents has a really good chapter on this. I wish we could post pics.
Wow, you just described my father. I hate it so much when he is deliberately annoying and oversteps boundaries, little by little by little.. until I can't take it anymore and say something, then he…
I highly recommend the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
As others have mentioned in response, it sounds like they are emotinoally immature. A book I found helpful that gets into it is Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsey Gibson.
I may be reading too much into this, but this type of behavior sounds familiar to me. To continue to try to do things that will make your parent show you the love and affection you deserve. If that ri…
I've got it, I haven't read/ listened to it. I only got through a few minutes of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature parents. Set my mind into a spiral
I’m in an almost identical situation as you right now in all aspects you mentioned. I am not even close to healing but can tell I’m making a lot of progress through therapy, reevaluating relationships…
There are a ton of different ways. You have to pick one and give it a try. I started with conventional talk therapy. Then I worked my way through the books Codependent No More, CPTSD: Fron Surviving t…
Hey op! You are not the problem here. And in this kind of dynamic it is not the child’s job to improve the relationship with their parent. It’s the other way around . You are out here working hard an…
I suggest reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson.
I recommend the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. You will relate to many behaviors described in that book. The other responses have a lot of info; I will add th…
These are some of my favorite books that either empowered me to work on my mental health or better understand my trauma. Some of them may not resonate with your own experiences. I listened to them on …
Ah man, it’s hard for me to read this because I’ve been in this kind of situation so many times with my mum. She has denied all sorts of things, sometimes only days after saying them. And they are the…
Sure! Here's a few. Pete Walker is my favorite, definitely would recommend From Surviving to Thriving the most. Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker Trauma and Recovery - Judith H…
Yes, I've felt this way my whole life. I think it's a key sign of emotionally immature parents/neglect when you feel perpetually lonely/alone. Everything you wrote about I've felt and continue to feel…
We broke up 6 months ago in October, but we kept up a toxic attachment that went back and forth until January when I blocked her. I read a lot of self-help books and particularly identified with “Adu…
Thanks, I'll check it out. I also saw people referencing 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents', sounds similar
The description of the Passive type parent in Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents may shed some light on this for you. I was never close to my mother - quite the opposite - but she was the …
Start working, right now, on your plans to get away from him and live your own life. Living with your father is not good for your mental health. The longer you live with him, the worse it will be fo…
Have you read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents? She describes it perfectly. The example of the pearls on a string was my biggest aha moment.
Realizing that you're more emotionally mature than your parent hurts. It just does. I went with radical acceptance - this is how my parent is and I can't change them - and going low contact and limiti…
I am so sorry for your loss. We lost my husband's brother when he was 37- and his mom was AWFUL of course- I could write a whole book... I think my main takeaway was- they are not going to change. You…
I feel like if you're nodding along like "yes, it's just like that" while reading the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, then yeah, you were raised by narcissists. If you cannot rela…
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It hurts so much when your parents who are supposed to love you are so emotionally stunted. I can't say the reason he is doing what he is doing but there i…
I knew my upbringing wasn’t normal but it wasn’t until I was 50 and read,”Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” that I realized there was a name for it. Learning that gave me the courage to …
YIKES ON BIKES! I have cPTSD (raised in a cult/ abused/tortured/neglected, ACE score 10/10) & a few of those made my jaw drop - for perspective. That's for sure a pattern of inappropriate behavior tha…
I was about 20 and was trying to understand why I was so depressed. I no longer believed the “it’s just genetics. Depression runs in our families” line I’d been fed for years. I started with a book “T…
The Slow Living podcast (O'Dea) has brought up the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents pretty often as examples of why people who were neglected end up succumbing to hustle culture so …
Personally my own realisation came from my dad sharing some very horrific information with me rather callously on his birthday that lead to a string of events where I had to report both my parents to …