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I don't mind the answer "it depends" so long as there is a "what" it depends on. It doesn't bug me that, the answer to the recipe to bake a cake is "it depends, there are many kinds of cake, in some c…
What do secure bids for connection and co-regulation look like? — I am a dismissive avoidant trying to get better about reaching out to others for connection, co-regulation, emotional support, etc. I am really struggling to figure out what's normal/healthy/reasonabl…
Bf of 14 months hasn’t said I love you — My bf (35M) and I (33F) met December 2024 on a dating app and became exclusive immediately after our first date. On our first few dates he asked what I was looking for and I said I was looking for som…
Why do people on shifting subs avoid sleeping methods? — Most successful shifters I know use some variation of WBTB, lucid dreaming, astral projection, or just shifting when they are already super tired. It is pretty obvious there are common threads between…
I don’t know which subreddit to post this in, but I need answers — Sometimes I do something, where when I go to sleep, I’ll lay on my back, because it works best that way, and then I lay completely still. No movement whatsoever, and sometimes it works better than oth…
An Experiential Argument for Non-Local Consciousness and how this is connected to OBEs — This morning I woke up from two hours of dreamless sleep and a thought hit me that I haven't been able to shake since. It started simple, when you wake up from deep sleep, you had zero dreams, zero re…
I look for tips how (as a man) to steer the night — TLDR: first night evening vs morning. Hi! Very excited as I am getting married next weekend. The party finishes at 4:00am. From your experience, why is it better to wait until morning or take the un…
My boyfriend isn't sure about us — So recently my partner 'M21' and me 'F22' recently got into a pretty hefty argument about marriage. We've only been together for 1 year and this whole argument started when I brought up that if after …
(25M) Bringing up my feelings led to being called controlling and wrong? By (24F) — I will be keeping things relatively vague for anonymity, I’m not sure if gf or friends are on here. As far as what happened. I (25M) and my girlfriend (24F) of 3 years had made plans to hangout over…
How do I prepare for my first therapy session, and what does a first session normally look like? — I (15F) have my first therapy session tomorrow, and I am really nervous. I don't know how to prepare for it and how it's going to be like. My therapist seems nice as far as I can tell from her email…
my IMPOSSIBLE LIFE AND HOW I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT OKAY-ISH TO LIVE — Hi, I’m 16(F) going on 17, this september, and…I have a lot of issues, I’d consider this as a vent post, but I’m also going to be needing a sprinkle of advice and support. Today, yeah, around 6:30 am…
I think it depends. Sometimes with meds still active it's easier for me to lucid dream. Other times there's no way I'm going anywhere other than watching my thoughts stream by. I've never APd, but I'…
It depends what you mean. Some people try to wake up intentionally and have a hard time, which isn’t related to how real a dream seems. But you are going to wake up sooner or later, you can’t get st…
1. Mental thoughts don’t become physical reality. Beliefs do. Repetitive mental thoughts turn into beliefs. 2. People in your world reflect your beliefs. Perhaps upon meeting someone you had an origi…
No straight simple answer to this. It depends on your data volume, schema, usage patterns (IE: read Vs write ratios, types of select queries), whether it's ok to serve stale data in some cases etc etc…
Running a small café means juggling a lot from great service to smooth operations. That’s why having the right point-of-sale (POS) system matters. Choosing the best fit depends on your needs and budge…
I guess it depends on whether you think AI/LLMs are here to stay or not, but software products keep adding ai features and the cost of public LLM APIs is already very high likely to get higher. Self h…
It depends on what kind of AI you're looking to do. Smaller, tactical, modular AI applications are going well. And these All in one solutions are harder to sell. Also, for some people, they're VE…
This seems normal for 30s to me. Guess it depends on your friend group. Maybe straight people focus more on raising kids. All the LGBT people I know (myself included) are constantly traveling, going t…
Yeah… I had a rough time with my DA ex but he never suggested sleeping with anyone while we took some time apart. As for how long, it depends on the person. He usually didn’t need more than a week b…
I tend to agree. While some alone time is fine, “space” as in “the expectations of the relationship are a problem and I want to absolve myself of the responsibility temporarily because I want to live …
I think it depends on what you want. If your boyfriend is FA and he doesn't know how to regulate his feelings then the exact thing that he would do is breakup/ghost you when he started to become emot…
Fuck! How about if it depends on the relationship? I have felt that throughout my 20s, but the one relationship that lasted into my 30s, I did feel the panic thing. And still do a year later lol
It depends. If you're completely emotionally detached before it ends, and then flip - yes that's FA behaviour. It's not unusual to grow into more of one style with age.
It depends on both people. Everyone is different, but yes, people do stay with anxious people. Hugs and luck for you!
I think it depends a lot on the other person, if they are secure you're not triggered as much as you are when you are with an anxious or avoidant type of person.
I think that it depends. I mean heavy texting and calling is not sustainable over time and will naturally drop off and should seek a new rhythm. If you think it is related to a conversation then you…
Yes and no… it depends on when you grieve the relationship. If you feel everything at once, immediately, that puts you on a different timeline from someone who delays facing the pain.
It depends on many factors like why or for what reason you are abandoning yourself. And what the other person in the relationship is experiencing and what they are willing or capable of. It is not som…
This is really insightful. I've noticed this habit alot with myself as an AP. I think it depends on certain DA's who tend to take a break longer vs shorter.
I guess it depends if he goes into a more "deactivated" state between conflicts or not. He will probably pull away and be more distant and more avoidant for a time. Sometimes he will get closer and lo…
It depends on your intent and your ability to to manage your vulnerability. In all relationships we should be comfortable enough with ourselves to give everything we have to our partners but also be …
Hmmm it depends on who deactivated and how hard. Could be 3-10 days ish or maybe 5 or 6 weeks at its max. It felt agonising usually. For both of us. FA & FA relationship is incredible and awful at the…
I think it might be helpful to define what “socially stimulating” actually means to you and check it against what others think it means. As well as what you identify as “boring”. I think this can be h…
Hmmm...I guess it depends on what that "key information" was and why it was omitted.
Plus, it depends on the person. I have dated people who had secure attachment that were still very clingy and needy, or a little too sensitive for my taste. Someone being secure in their attachment do…
I think it depends whether the casual sex is strictly performed with other humans that want casual sex. It depends on communication skills and awareness of one's own and other people's boundaries. As …
As someone who was avoidant in the past (10-15 years ago) and believes himself to be secure now, yet also does NOT like casual sex, I do think YES, it *is* compatible with secure attachment. What wou…
It depends on a lot of things to interpret a behavior. The social programming in childhood, current social environment, individual values For example, in Sweden or Norway, gender equality is ingraine…
Well, that's what I'm trying to discern. But I'll have the clearest view of what is a pattern that can be worked through, and what is fundamental incompatibility, if I approach my relationship and rep…
This post makes me so sad for you / avoidants 😭😭😭😭 Yes people do cry in front of other people! Or ruminate, or be physically anxious otherwise, or be angry or despondent. Yes, it depends on the p…
For me, it depends. Sometimes it's just dissociating, so I'm not really "in my body) to feel anything. Very literally detached. In therapy, bringing up anything I've been wanting to avoid is all in …
Really depends on if it’s avoidant behavior or emotional avoidance. If it’s emotional avoidance it depends on if you suppress or repress. Repression is what we usually look for with avoidant attachme…
I think it depends on the relationship. I can go months without texting my friends. We can have a back and forth and then work, or children can quickly distract and the conversation stops. I don’t tak…
If you typically text daily then I'd expect to hear back or you should message within the same day? It depends on your texting cadence and habits though, my bf and I text very consistently so any bre…
This will vary from place to place I imagine but at 29 you should be able to find loads of people who aren't divorced and don't have kids. It's okay to not want to date people with kids, it's very di…
It depends what your life goals are. Do you want marriage and/or children? Stay with him. 1 year is still early. Are you happy being more risky and seeking out someone more thrilling, but with the pot…
It depends on the people involved. I've dated people who I've had insane sexual chemistry with... several people I've had sex with during the first date. Other people, it's taken several dates or wee…
I’ve never been let down, no. Even when the connection crumbles as things come to light, I was generally approaching the situation with an open heart and with care. I’m not taking someone’s body and …
As you say, I think it very much depends on where you live. I live in a small town, so maybe less likely to happen here than in a big city. But also, it depends on what environment you’re in. You’re…
I think it depends on who you’re with and the natural rhythms of your shared lifestyle. My ex of 6 years needed space and would say things similar to your partner. My current boyfriend and I spend muc…
I guess it depends if you think "looking good" is solely conflated with looking as young as possible. I don't think it is. I think overall looks include fitness, fashion, taking care of oneself overal…
I think it depends on you and who you’re with. I act totally different with my now husband than I ever have with any other person I’ve dated. I quite literally want to be glued to my husbands side …
Oh absolutely. We want closeness but seek it with the people who won’t give it to us instead of the ones that can…so in some ways, subconsciously, we don’t want the intimacy even though we think we do…
I think it depends. For me, I like having multiple hobbies but love the idea of having someone to come home to and have activities planned together 3-4 times per week.
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To be honest i believe it depends on what youre both comfortable with. But you still have to find a happy medium that works for you both
It depends on how long the relationship is. Over 3 months, you really should be breaking up in person or by phone (so you should be able to actually talk about it and say you're surprised) . Over 6 da…
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i spend a significant amnt of time w my bf! usually. we’ll see each other 5 times a week, and pop by each other’s place frequently. granted, we live down the street from each other so it makes visits …
I'm fearful avoidant working on becoming secure. It depends on the other person's Attachment style. The most common pair is actually the fearful avoidant and the anxious preoccupied. That's what I wa…