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Thank you for sharing this. It's quite rare to read genuinely insightful reports of peeking out there instead of the usual "love and light" BS. I've seen/sensed this fractal/recursive structure too (…
REMINDER: be kind to yourself. This is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength. — I know of what I speak. I held so much guilt, sadness, anger, and regret for so long. I hated myself for failing to make my marriage work. That mindset was getting me nowhere good. Do the little thing…
To the former LOAPorn folks here — Hi everyone! It's been about 3 months since me and my SP have been NC. It's quite a long story to retell it there, but we two got really close, and we were very happy with each other. However, due to…
My arguments against manifestation — 1. **Maladaptive daydreaming proves that manifestation isn't real**; Manifestation doctrine teaches that what you focus on expands and manifests in your physical reality. Do not split hairs and try to…
Does attachment style start to shift after cutting out toxic family members? — Recently, I removed a toxic family member from my life after years of emotional turbulence and manipulation. This person liked to gaslight me, hold past mistakes over my head, and blame me for everyth…
Update on Our Journey to Export Pistachio Butter – Small Wins & Hard Lessons — Hey everyone, A few weeks ago I posted here about our family business in Gaziantep, Turkey — we produce high-quality pistachio butter and are looking to expand internationally. Just wanted to give a…
Started a Pistachio Spread Brand in Turkey — Now Trying to Go Global (Advice Appreciated!) — Hey everyone, I’m based in Turkey and help run a family business that produces natural pistachio butter — no additives, no sugar, just roasted pistachios. It’s something we’ve been doing for over 15 …
Should I try to learn SEO or just hire someone? — My family just opened a small pet supplies business. I used to be into web design and tech stuff years ago so I was able to throw together a simple website. The thing is, I have no clue about SEO. I …
My co-founder decided to quit: I'm stuck and could really use some advice | I will not promote — Hey All, A few months ago, I shared my story here (original Reddit post in comments) about starting an IT consultancy business in the Netherlands with a friend right after graduation. At that time, w…
How to Wreck Your Career: a cautionary tale from someone who has 5 years of experience.. — Context:- I am a 31 year old UX designer with a masters degree in industrial design from one of the top design schools here in India. I have almost 6 years of experience on the paper of which I hav…
New to SEO and Trying to save my local business — Hi Everyone! I run a local companion care service for seniors and I’m staring down what feels like an impossible mountain with SEO. I’ve watched countless YouTube tutorials, learned a bit about on-si…
Rating my website + getting help with ad setup — Hello! Ive started a small workshop where i produce and sell lamps. A lot of my designs are based on already existing popular ones but most of them ive come up with myself. I never expected to becom…
How Would You Approach Digital Marketing for a Premium Food Product Expanding Internationally? — Hi everyone, I run digital efforts for my family’s pistachio butter business based in Gaziantep, Turkey — a region famous for producing world-class pistachios. We’ve been in business since 2007 and …
Bootstrapped Turkish Food Brand Exploring Global B2B Expansion – I will not promote — Hey everyone, I help manage a family-run pistachio butter business based in Gaziantep, Turkey — a city known for producing world-class pistachios. Since 2007, we’ve been selling a premium, all-natur…
Unsecured Capital Raise "i will not promote" — Hello, first-time poster looking for creative fundraising recommendations. I’m working to open a recreation + F&B "eatertainment" facility inside a large leased space. I anticipate traditional invest…
Equity with new cofounder and fundraising. I will not promote — I'm starting a tech startup company. Currently outsourcing the tech team to build the app - every tech person I met wanted to be paid cash and wanted to take up to a year to get the platform up and ru…
Marketing for startups (I will not promote) — (I will not promote) Proven strategies to take a startup from zero to scale ($10M+ ARR). As a 3X startup CMO, I have experienced tremendous success and a ton of failure. I have been involved in th…
Question on initial release of product/service (I will not promote) — I’ve been working on a web app for a while now as a solo developer, and I was wondering how any other founders here have gone about releasing their own apps for the first time. So far I’ve only shared…
Unique Field Guard For ACF — https://preview.redd.it/a99i8tsrl5ze1.png?width=2632&format=png&auto=webp&s=837f17d2a06d91e3e0a14803dbefe7e1c4f897aa Hey WP family! I recently built a plugin I’ve been working on that solves a headac…
Finding Like Minded Business People — **TL/DR :** Looking for people who are stuck with unsure with what business they want to pursue and end up learning a little bit about all of them; that want to partner up to stay focused with each …
The successful are not here — After years of watching YouTube videos about startup / founder stuff and reading blogs, Reddit, and the horrible place that is LinkedIn, I came to realize that 99.9% of advice (especially in the SaaS …
I have an entrepreneurial spirit, but no direct or passion project. Am I doomed? — Hey, I come from a family of entrepreneurs, and I know what it takes to make visions come to life. I work super hard in my work, and I'd love to have my own thing one day, BUT I have no vision. I …
Being an Entrepreneur is bloody hard — That's a quote from Dan Pena and it's absolutely right. The bum boys on Instagram, YouTube and all the rest that pretend like it's easy are 1000% full of it. The true life of a business person and e…
Low search volume not eligible help — Working with a family law firm and struggling with keyword ideas. ones they have come up with are not eligible due to low search volume on google ads. Examples: "Legal aid for non-accidental injury…
Bouncing around a new business idea — Hello everyone. I have an idea to purchase a commercial property in my town (old government building) and outfit it to be mainly a golf simulator business with multiple bays including small kitchen an…
Do push/pull dynamics happen even when you’re not participating in them? — I (F, 32, originally AP, now definitely more secure) have just gone through a very confusing dating experience. 3 months ago I started seeing this man (34 met on Hinge). He started off very interested…
Automated Texting for Customer Orders — Looking for an automated texting service that isn't bloated with unused features. Basically we are a small family farm that texts customers on any given day to collect orders. Would like a service tha…
Business card for Interior Design business leading to travel points? — I'm starting to do some interior design services for clients - I am looking for a credit card for the furniture orders that will be really good for travel points for my family to use. Also any watch…
"I quit my engineering job due to anxiety and built a small business—how do I scale from here?" — Hi everyone, I wanted to share my journey and ask for advice from those who’ve scaled small businesses. I studied chemical engineering and got placed in a great company right after graduating from S…
Overtraining and being effective — Wanted to share about a recent breakthrough I had in being effective and getting things done. Like many of you, I believe that being physically fit is a huge part of operating at peak efficiency. Whe…
Approached by a big box retailer what should I know/do? — I need some help/advice. I sell a physical product on my Shopify and on some other platforms, and sell around 200-600 units a day. Well I guess big box retailers caught on and now im getting contacte…
I DID IT! Put in my notice today, focusing on my agency full time. — I've been working 70+ hour weeks for the last 16 months, working a full-time job as VP of Marketing for a Fortune 500 company while also getting my side hustle marketing agency off the ground. My agen…
Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…
If I could just stop deactivating!! (FA) — Follow up from some of my previous posts. I’m deactivating again. I think? Or maybe lost feelings for my partner and I’m just lying to myself and not wanting to let go. The thought of that makes me cr…
I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …
Anxiety only triggered in romantic relationship, how to manage it? — Hi everyone, I’m a 26M and fairly new to relationships. I’ve noticed my anxious attachment only really shows up in my romantic relationship, not with friends, family, or colleagues. With them I feel …
4+ Months of LOB Practice — What's up people. Discovered this sub around the start of april 2025, and didn't actually navigate trough the index until about 15-16th of April, and after reading the index, starting 20th April I st…
Having trouble differentiating between anxious attachment / normal needs, feeling lost and alone — First Reddit post here! (It's a long one, I just really need a place to put it all down and get some support, so thank you). I (19F) got out of my first long term relationship about 3 months ago. It l…
For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? — For avoidants (and those leaning/earned secure): is this avoidant behavior? Do you really move on—and why no closure? I began therapy 4 months into our situationship because of how strong he came on,…
I had a breakthrough tonight! — Hello! Brief backstory here. I recently got divorced, and dating has been an interesting experience since. I went into one relationship very quickly with another anxiously attached person. It didn't w…
I regressed so much this year — This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them still ongoing and very serious, financial concern…
How to be comfortable in new, developing relationships without devaluing them for not being as deep as a past relationship (phantom ex?) — After many months of thinking, I've come to the conclusion that one of the things that made my past relationship so special is the fact that it was the first time I had ever been in touch with someone…
"I want you to make yourself welcome in my life and in my heart" — These were the words that had me crying like a baby. I realized I had never heard or felt it in my life from anyone before, not even my own family and especially not my own mom despite the love I know…
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
Is this what secure attachment feels like? — I don’t know if this is wholly secure but I think it’s one aspect, one that I’m feeling for the first time. I have never felt this sensation before. My bf is at an engagement party and I’m at home…
Is deactivation the real her? — When my FA and I started dating, she said, “I’m afraid you won’t like me when you get to know the real me.” She was sweet, caring, thoughtful, and made a real effort to be part of my life. We were i…
I earned secure attachment in 4 months... — I can't believe I'm writing this. I did this without dating a secure person and without spending money on courses/apps. I promise I'm not selling anything. Big disclaimers: * I am only mostly secure…
I’m still a magnet to guys who need help. (I stopped rescuing). — I used to be more anxious-ambivalent/codependent and enmeshed from family + an ex-friend. I’ve learned in CBT to separate someone else’s problems/emotions and my own to not become codependent again. (…
Global Policy Journal: “Don’t look up?“ – Why it is past time for serious holistic research into Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena — Karin Austin, Michael Bohlander and Kimberly S. Engels have contributed an excellent article to the Global Policy Journal. Two of these people I've met personally and they are experiencers who are doi…
Studying attachment theory — I’ve been studying attachment theory for a couple of months now, and I’ve only recently started to REALLY look into it. I started reading a book called Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for…
DAs, do you find that you avoid things in wider aspects of life, not just relationships? — I’ve noticed that I sometimes avoid things that stress me out. For example, I avoid looking at my bank account and I just don’t look at it unless I absolutely have to, because it makes me stressed. I …
The very first paragraph really struck me. I haven’t learned how to copy text here yet since I’m new to Reddit. But “Non-intrusive and engaged curiosity from parents about what you were feeling and ex…
Just a few questions here - I'm new to lucid dreaming. I garden quite a bit, so I can grow Artemisia douglasiana and a few other helpful herbs and make a poultice or something. I usually don't rem…
I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…
"Your silence will eat them up." I hope that's true. I know her crazy family talked her into leaving. She came over, we went to dinner, said she wanted to break up. Go to my place and hook up twice …
Emotional neglect isn't just something a child experiences, it can be perpetrated on an aduld by another adult- their spouse/partner and family members.
This!! Same man. I want to use my trauma as an excuse but the truth is when I was with her I only knew my own toxic coping skills taught by my manipulative dysfunctional family
Thank you I am sorry for you as well. It makes you feel as though our whole relationship was a lie and he was just playing pretend to look good for his family.
This is so hard to do for me. It’s only been a week or so now but I would end my life if not for my 3 little kids. I can’t believe the woman I’m still in love with thinks so poorly of me she wanted to…
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and going through this. It sucks she wouldn’t give therapy a chance. You can’t control others actions and feelings. I hope you can find meaning and joy in your kids …
Yes, especially with Divorce. There are SO MANY variables, there is no way you know everything there is to know. The poster is here because the attorney will charge them $500 for the email, their frie…
So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…
Wonderful information in the introduction. I would love to get some personal insight from people who are familiar with Astal Projection. I'll keep it as short as possible. I have recently discovered t…
I'm glad this is here. I've been lucid dreaming for years since I was a kid and shared with my family who could also, but hadn't known other people know about and do it too to such a capacity that thi…
This was a great explanation and it’s validated my experience of confronting my family, thank you :)
I’ll take a crack at it Point 1: The answer is sm vs cm thought. Daydreaming is not focused with intent, the mind often wonders and you still feel it’s not true in the end or with emotions that are …
It's more common than you think. I'm pretty sure it's likely someone else in your family has it too. However it is possible that it is just your SM revealing patterns you subconsciously were seeing …
Yes, I do this myself and see this happen with the guy I'm dating as well. I think it's triggered by positive feelings/increased connection or vulnerability. For me, when we get closer, or when he tel…
The only thing I would really recommend is learning about internal family systems. That kind of work *can* be done on its own but I did the majority of mine with a therapist. The book “No Bad Parts” b…
This is the one. I'd also add that attachment doesn't just stop at partners — it's also at play at work, friendships, family relationships/siblings, and even children. It's really fucking hard to be …
Before you post about an avoidant ex, ask yourself: Did you guilt trip them into only sleeping 4 hours a night because you need constant reassurance for hours on end? Did you blow up and verbally a…
I would suggest you reread my comment again. I said I didn’t want romantic relationships to take up 80% of my life, which is a major and unsustainable deviation from the normal relationship pattern of…
Sure! Some happen in conversation Let's take the example of a simple question to which you can answer with a yes or a no Example 1: Question : - " Do you want to go to the movies tonight? " ( You…
Attachment styles are not the sole factors for attraction we create. But cutting off people we have known for a long time - especially family members, to which we are bound to biologically - is a sig…
I swung from anxious to avoidant after going NC with family. Therapy will help you find secure. It’s also easy to feel more secure when you’ve removed someone rather than when you’re in relationship- …
That’s an interesting point, the possibility of dissociation. I have actually been quite conscious about remaining present through the pain. And there has been quite a lot of pain. So many emotions su…
Oh yeah, totally. It’s like once you let yourself see the dysfunction, you can’t unsee it. And you can’t imagine falling for it ever again. Or even bothering to figure it out. I went through a simila…
Happy for you. Nobody asks to have an attachment style that’s dysfunctional. I’m working through mine and try so so hard to have compassion for others. But a big part of self love is learning how to h…
My experience is that cutting off a toxic family member enabled me to heal my attachment style. It basically let me put healthier, more secure communication and connection strategies into practice bec…
It absolutely can. Also can I just say all hats off to you, that is such a well reflected and intelligent post. Well done. I'm so proud of you how you kicked those people out. >Have any of you exp…
It helped me to cut out some toxic family members. One of the elements that fed my anxious attachment was that I had low self esteem. I worked really hard to build that up, but it was difficult to m…
I think your self-respect and self-protection grew because you finally chose yourself when you decided to protect your peace against your toxic family member. I'm proud of you.
Yes, he did consider me his girlfriend. He was the one who brought up that conversation. I met all of his friends via Facetime. He would always call me when he was out with them. He even called me whe…
As a man who has been on both sides of the coin… bear with me cause this is a long read but it has relevance I promise. I’ve been the anxious wreck begging and pleading. Saying stuff like “you don’t…
You're having resistant parts. Get a couple of books on Internal Family Systems self-therapy, which is exactly providing a way to deal with why we have resistance and how to get those parts of ourselv…
Pretty sure I was an FA (schizophrenic dad, sadistic mom who wanted to abort me—I took care of the family’s emotional needs, disregarded my own). I was still confused/hurting 2+ years post no contact…
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to [psychotherapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy) that identifies and addresses multiple sub-personalities or families within each pers…
I burn every relationship I get into. Friends, family, lovers, jobs... you might like me now, but the only safe ones are those who love me from afar. If I care about someone, I tell them not to let m…
If he can’t even return a simple “hi”, there are other psychological issues going on there. That’s not all DA. I wish people would stop attributing extremely odd behaviors to DA 🫠 we are functional i…
“It shifts your worldview to think that some people can love and care about you, but still fee nothing about hurting you.” WOW wow wow. I’m going thru this with someone I believed to be chosen family…
AT only shifts after healing the core wounds that caused it, cutting out toxic family members can help, but it's rarely the final solution
I can relate to this. For myself I have been wondering why I think I need to be in a relation to have more intimacy and a deeper understanding. I think it's better to get those things from myself, fri…
My friends and family are telling me to slow down, but the pressure for our business is high and the competition dynamic and many. I code 4-5 days a week from 11am, often until 430/5am. A few times th…
Friends and family first while we worked on confirming hypotheses, then they shared with a few others, then (and now still) we’re reaching out directly to people who have stated that they deal with th…
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an approach to [psychotherapy](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy) that identifies and addresses multiple sub-personalities or families within each pers…
I do tend to communicate pretty well with people I have not deactivated on (family, platonic, romantic). Most people that come into my life do get a heads up that I am not on my phone a lot and like m…
This. Actually, it should be taught in HS along with a class in Personal Finance, instead of some of the ridiculous other stuff they often teach. My life, family, and marriage are up in flames due …
God, I pray my wife has that same dream. I am at my breaking point...20 year marriage and family are on the edge of the cliff. The only good things that it look like will come of this, are, 1. I kno…
So instead of replying individually and repeating myself, I'm just going to make a comment addressing it all. Firstly, it was interesting to read all these perspectives. I see where some of its comin…
I often need time alone. It’s for a few hours max and I tell my partner or my my family I am going to my room and will be back in a few hour. No one ever has felt bad
I disagree. Some avoidants will be good at hiding yes, and that's because in their avoidance + arrested emotional development, the initial playful energy will cause you to mirror and stop noticing the…