walk away

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

Hosting Company Gaslighting Strategy? — I work as a sub-contractor for a marketing company and their biggest client uses a niche hosting company that is more paranoid than Elon Musk in a bunker. I have to install Wordpress manually, do manu…

One the biggest founder skill is knowing when to walk away - I will not promote — Yes it's hard to kill a project. Yes you might think "I need to keep going" to make it. And that's true in a way, you need to not quit. But iterating/pivoting is not quiting. It's showing agility an…

Turns out I needed a "middleman" to have a successful relationship with a DA — Now the title may sound wild, but stick with me. # The Story So I (26M) have been dating someone (24F) who, as I came to realize, is a dismissive avoidant. It's been about a year now - though truthf…

Avoidance seeking help: what if he’s not avoidant like me, but he actually just has a girlfriend he didn’t tell me about? — Been in contact with a guy for about 6 months now who has been pursuing me the entire time, subtly. When we first met, I had just broken up with my ex a couple of months prior to that (6-month long…

A letter to my FA Ex — I don’t even know why I’m writing anymore. I don’t know why I still pour my feelings onto paper when the person they’re meant for has emotionally switched off. Maybe this isn’t for you. Maybe it’s jus…

a song about longing for something that never was - disorganized attachment style edition (cathartic release) — Lyrics: I’m standing at a wishing well, One coin trembling in my hand, A promise pressed against my palm, A truth I barely understand. They told me I was unworthy, Long before I learned my name,…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

No contact but want my stuff back — I put another thread on but basically he’s broken up with me and gone no contact. I initially reached out to find out what happened and if we could fix it (the next day), and a few days later asked fo…

My sun and rising are in Sagittarius. Why am I so shy and reluctant to express myself? — Based on my limited understanding, having your sun and rising in Sagittarius signifies being outgoing, expressive, and freedom seeking. I couldn’t be further from that. I know other aspects in my char…

Married 5 months after 10 years together (M32 / F29) — she started talking to another guy right after the wedding. We’re now on a 30-day separation and I don’t know what to do. — I’m looking for honest advice from people who have either been through something like this or have perspective I might not be seeing right now. My wife (F29) and I (M32) have been together for about …

From ‘soul mates’ to strangers — How does one even trust again. Learn to open up again. Let their wall down again. After 2 years, she’s gone. She was my girlfriend, my best friend, my partner, support system, ‘soul mate’. We had …

Want to hurt a covert narcissist? Tell people the truth (but be smart about it) — **DISCLAIMER:** Only do this if you are physically, financially, emotionally, and psychologically separated and safe from a narcissist. The following will probably not be applicable if you have to mai…

I am fully convinced that one of the highest acts of self respect is choosing to walk away from a connection with someone who isn’t choosing you.

Recorded one conversation a week for a month and it was the most uncomfortable and useful thing I've ever done — Not secretly, I'd just tell whoever I was talking to "hey do you mind if I record this, I'm trying to work on how I communicate" and every single person said yes. Except for one so far. Then I'd list…

Why do most victims survive the harm, while perpetrators can’t cope with a slither of accountability? — Victims live with the pain. The fear. The long-term fallout. Not being believed. No justice, or having to fight for it. Being made the aggressor through DARVO. The loss of safety. The way it rewires y…

I miss you — I know I was the one who ended things, but it made me realize so much. I think we both just needed some time to breathe and calm down. Things could have been different, we just couldn't see it in that…

Husband suddenly wants to end our marriage and says it’s because of sex. We have a toddler. I also discovered he’s been dishonest about where he’s been. Looking for perspective. — I’m 39F and my husband (34M) and I have been married a little over 3 years. We have a toddler (2). Recently, completely out of nowhere, he told me he thinks we’re “not compatible” and started talking…

As long as your ex knows you will always take them back, they will never truly want nor respect you — Now how come it is this way? How come you need to walk away, abandon them and put yourself first in order for them realize what they had? And why can’t your ex just put their pride and ego aside, st…

I'm a rotten abuser and I can't forgive myself for it and I don't feel that I should. — I 30F am an abuser who has ruined my husband just because I can't accept being loved. yesterday I told him that I hope one day he gets the self esteem to leave me, and he responded that he hopes one d…

I made my husband confess to OBS and here’s what happened — For your education and entertainment purposes, this is the story of what happened when I forced my husband to confess to OBS. Quick backstory: (you can read the full post on my profile) my husband h…

I (31M) seeing someone (33F) but I never got the gut feeling that they're my person. How important is the gut feeling? Does it develop over time? We have been dating for a month and a half — TBH I never felt the spark even on the first date. But we got intimate on the second date and that added a new layer to the relationship. I also have anxieties of my own when the relationships get "re…

How I healed my codependency in friendships and relationships — By understanding that they're 18+ adults and I'm not their mommy, medic or doctor. It's not my job to heal others. I can help someone like five times in a month that's it. I walk away now. Emotionally…

32 (M) seeking some new perspectives — 32 (M) married, wife is 33. Found out she was having an affair 3 years ago, we’ve been together over 10 years. I decided to stay for the sake of the kids, but I regret the decision and I’m now miser…

It takes two to tango lie can be gaslighting — we can stop equalizing blame just because it’s easier for the audience, If one partner is home building a life and the other is out destroying it, that is not two. It took one person to be a partner a…

I Can't Stand My Mom — When I was younger, my parents basically used me as an emotional punching bag. Most of the memories I have of my childhood are them screaming at me over some minor mistake that I made. A lot of the ti…

It’s okay to walk away from someone you do not vibe with — I feel like so many times I have invested time in people i wasn’t compatible with because I didn’t want to be “ too picky”, but I’m 44 now and I have learned a lot. 1. You will never change a person a…

For anyone who struggles to believe in Manifestation. Read this. — (Apologies in advance for the long post) Okay so I used to be that person who would physically cringe when someone said “manifest it.” Like, I get it. The whole world around this thing is just deepl…

Asian-Americans say they are still seen as foreign, study finds — Survey shows more than half face ‘perpetual foreigner’ bias, with higher stress levels and exclusion across daily life **Like many Asian-Americans**, US-born Tiffany Chin has faced her share of sligh…

My (M29) girlfriend (F31) has built up a significant debt and I’m feeling lost. — My girlfriend and I have been together for 12 years. She does more domestically which I feel guilty about but doesn’t drive and wouldn’t be the best at keeping on top of life admin so I feel we balanc…

Does anyone else with CPTSD feel like they’ve become really hard to be around? — I feel awful even writing this, but lately I keep feeling like I’m just… miserable to be around. When I lived alone, I think I managed my CPTSD “better” because I could isolate, regulate, put on a fa…

What makes someone decide a relationship can’t be repaired? — I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships and breakups, especially when they end poor communication or unhealthy patterns (not involving cheating or abuse). For people who are the ones to end a re…

I (f 22) tested positive for an std after years of being clean and consistent testing and my bf (m 24) of 2 years says it’s “impossible” it’s because of him despite not being tested for 5 years and now we’re not okay. — \*\*\*UPDATE\*\*\* After a long 3 days my results came back and they were all negative. I, of course, told my boyfriend and he was relived much like I was. He was supportive of me and he apologized …

My Boyfriend (28M) thinks the reason why he can't finish is because I'm (20F) too big from the inside. — (English isn't my first language) This is a bit personal, but I'm from a very conservative locality so I have no one to talk to. My boyfriend of 2 years has been great in the bed during the early sta…

Why does my relationship turn into a breakup every time we fight? — So I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about 4 months now. We met on Bumble, and honestly… I really do love him. He’s kind, thoughtful, and overall a really good person. But there’s this …

Fiancé ended our 12 year relationship after meeting a new guy — Caitlyn, I'm sorry, and I miss you and still love you. I can't function. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do, and I don't know how much of this was me, and how much of this was him. Everyone has to…

Swingers clubs .. — This is my first Reddit post! Sorry if it’s all over the place!! but I needed some insight from others who know what goes on in swingers / sex/ or “lifestyle” clubs… I’m dating a guy in his 30s, & we …

manifestation + past changing — Hi to all of you!! It’s my first ever time writing something on Reddit. Well, I have actually been reading many stories to find courage, but I am new to being the one with the story hahah. Okay, so I …

I think I need to leave my marriage — I’ve been going back and forth on whether to post this, but I need to get it out somewhere. I think my marriage is over. There wasn’t one major event that caused it. No cheating. No physical abuse. …

I (29F) am planning to walk away from my partner (29M) and I feel guilty for choosing to put myself first.. — We’ve been together for about nine years, married for less than one, we had a lot of issues over the years that I’ve tried over and over again to fix, with trying to talk through it, and even couples …

breakup with someone who didn’t communicated issues — My ex (20M) and I (20F) broke up at the beginning of March after almost a year together, and I’m having a hard time moving on. It felt like a really special connection to me. He made me feel genuinel…

He showed up at my house tonight, drunk after 6.5 years — My ex (23M) and I (23F) dated from the age 14-17, throughout high school. He was one of my best friends and we loved each other dearly. We broke up because I didn’t want to be with him anymore bc I th…

Letter to Self before Meeting her — Figured it helped a few on other subs so I would add here. I've also been told to warn it may be a trigger to some. Hey dumbass, I don’t really know how to start this without it feeling unreal, beca…

How do I handle recurring mood shifts and communication issues in my relationship? — I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for a bit, and I keep running into the same issue. It feels like small inconveniences or minor things can completely shift her mood, and when her mood drops…

5 Years, Countless Breakups, One Last Goodbye — We were toxic together and yet I thought love meant tolerating it all. When the final breakup came, I realized love isn’t about holding on it’s about knowing when to walk away.

Are meaningful connections actually rare? — I’m asking this because I’m still young, and I feel like people with more life experience might be able to give me a better perspective. Is it really rare to truly “click” with someone? I recently w…

Why me ? — Here is my story: I did everything I was supposed to do as a child. I was obedient. I worked in my father’s business from grade 9. I saved every penny I could, never really having the freedom to be …

Basking in the Dawn I Once Asked For — I wrote something in November when I was still in it.  This is where I am now.   2025 broke me.  Not all at once. Slowly, then all at once.   Loss came in waves. Quiet at first, then closer toge…

Why do we sabotage things right when they start working? — I’ve been thinking about this a lot… It’s weird—most people say they’re afraid of failure, but honestly, we’ve all failed plenty of times. We know how to deal with that. What’s harder is when so…

Can people truly change — I’m 18 and I need honest advice. I’m going to lay out everything in order by year so it makes sense. 2024:This is when we were together originally. During this time, she cheated on me multiple times…

So pardon the length (I haven't told anyone yet) and thank you for reading. I might have a crush on a good friend ("Steve") who I've reconnected with after a few years of not hanging out. We didn't …

You think you don't owe your partner, someone who's entered into a loving partnership with you, anything? That you can just walk away from that righteously, whenever? Sounds like a paltry, wispy comm…

It sucks being a self-aware avoidant because it’s like….so much of this is about unconscious reactions. I’ve had my big “aha” moment. Now I’m conscious, I’m pretty good at noticing it in myself, but I…

I think the idea that you can sniff out red flags like a bloodhound after a bad relationship is largely untrue. People lie. They present perfectly to you in the beginning. The insight you gain from a …

I know this is difficult to do, but my advice, as an anxious who's moving towards secure, would be to stop texting and calling. It's only been a few days and you know that he was having phone problems…

Your partner sounds Fearful avoidant, is he aware of his attachment style? I think all you can do is let him know in as blame-free way as possible that you notice a pattern in his behaviour that con…

Most businesses would have a problem with their estimating/quoting system being able to walk away. Can I ask how you ensured that pricing, costs, etc are secured from IP theft?

Well, like I said, if she didn't improve, I would walk away. But things have been on the up trend. We no longer have periods of no contact. I interact with her every day like we used to at the start. …

Look, I do understand where you're coming from. And I can tell you're only looking out for me. But think about it this way. Things have been really good, really stable and I do feel genuine connection…

I hear you and I can see that your comment is grounded in past experiences. Fair enough. The only reason I chose to pursue this was because I had new found knowledge. This was the first time I've date…

I, too, like to "fix" people so I can have a relationship with them. Because I'm a codependent fixer. Which I had to learn to stop doing because it doesn't really work in the long run. It's best to ta…

Honestly, yours is the best comment here. Online pop psychology has REALLY distorted what secure attachment is. To some, it’s some sort of stoic perfection where your actions must always match their i…

What bothers me the most is how OP's relationship progress is being dismissed. It doesn't seem to be enough that they reached a functional state and OP is happy at the moment, getting his needs met. …

The first two points are big red flags for me now too! The third isn't a big deal, because I like to take things slow, but I'm also not trying to get on the relationship escalator. 4 & 5 are not gre…

I don't agree with that no one should suffer. Suffering is, on some level inevitable. It's a signal to address an unmet need. While I agree that we should work on healing and healthy ways to connect w…

Hurt people hurt people. Is it wrong? Yep, but they do. All we can do is try to be better individuals and keep strong boundaries that If we are disrespected we can walk away. I always try to remember…

I get why a lot of people are skeptical, but honestly it sounds like you really... get her. She may be triggered at some point in the future but with a secure foundation, she will be more likely to se…

Same thing happened to me. To me, its a respect thing. I knew going into the relationship that she had a tendency to isolate. I was ok with with it because I myself do that on occasion (with family I …

I'm not gonna lie its a massive red flag that I wasn't able to secure a date with her until I was fully ready to walk away. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt because she is stressed over work. I…

The thing is the more I have aged and worked on myself getting higher self esteem and confidence, the more I have self reflected and become more aware of myself, the more I have slowly recognised the …

Well this might be an unpopular opinion but since this is a friendship and not a committed relationship, it's okay to just back off a bit. Also, when you've repeatedly set boundaries and had them re…

Who said anything about enabling? And ur right they don’t decide but when they truly care, yes they can see things not going the way they want it to go. Sometimes that leads to no change but for other…

I agreed until the part where you said the choosing is just leading to superficial when I made a distinction between investment and interest. Investing to me includes being willing to do that work. Ch…

I had a friend who became like a barnacle (to me) when she got into a toxic relationship (that she refused to leave). She was deaf to any boundaries. Any attempt to walk away resulted in more protest …

Stop overthinking this, just walk away. This is not acceptable behavior and if you allow it, it'll set a pattern for how you allow yourself to be treated.

You MUST build a support system. You have to. The whole point here is to get better, not perfect, but to get better you have to do it. More of a network would show you that this isn’t a doom spiral,…

I feel this. I've been seeing a DA off and on for 3 years now. We had a fight a few weeks ago and I don't know where we currently stand because he's gone quiet. He has admitted to having major trust …

What I would say is that you should decide if you can deal with this long term. In my case, this is the second time we've had an explosive fight like this, where he goes into a full on defensive spi…

That is true, thank you. I think I did need to learn a lesson. I know if I was truly secure, I would have walked away within the first few months after the deactivating and devaluing but I just couldn…

The dream. How were you finally able to walk away and stay away? Did you ever hear from him again?

I think you are resentful because you didn’t express yourself when it was time to. Generally the resentment is put on the other person, but the core issue is suppressing yourself and becoming sick of…

Secure doesn’t mean avoiding insecurely attached people. It’s a misconception that secure only dates secure. It's actually quite common and normal for Secure people to date insecure partners. Part of …

Don't text just talk on the phone at the end of the day or something....see if that helps. Now if they don't want to do that....then they are just being an asshole so walk away

Thank you for your comments. Can I ask you: you say “she misses you even now…” as if she is still hung up on him? Is this a situation you’re in? Is this a common FA characteristic? I’ve heard of the…

Hi, I’m 22F and was in a relationship for over 3 years with an avoidant male. In June, I decided to leave the place we shared together and move home because of his emotional regulation that presented …

Hello. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now and live together. I am beginning to question if it is my attachment completely pushing him away or if I just need to move on. My attachm…

If you can have a neutral conversation about texting. Hey I'm just curious what your texting style is? My BF for example is not a texter; that's not just with me that's with everyone. He replies whe…

I agree with other posters. Try to break it down, dating and relationships are a combined effort. You don't have to put all the effort into dates, you certainly don't have to tiptoe around someone …

You can't make her do anything, you can ask for what you want/need but if she's not willing to give it to you then you have to either accept that or walk away, but those are your two only options righ…

From an outside perspective he sounds like he's being honest. You would like to be considered and have consistency ( very normal healthy things) and he can't or doesn't want to meet your needs. The w…

You are confusing "ceased contact" with "no contact". There is zero contact in both, but with different context and reasons. When you finish off all the necessary communication *on your part*, and y…

Yes, I identify with this and have a lot of thoughts here. I definitely overcorrected. One of the first things I worked on was more open and transparent communication. At the time, I think I was mostl…

It’s kind of normal to go through this with a lot of mental health treatments. People finally understand themselves and others better, there’s new skills to implement, but the outcomes initially swin…

This is such an honest and important realization... and honestly, something a lot of people don’t talk about enough when it comes to healing attachment wounds. When you start working on yourself, espe…

Well I think this is where you need to do more work. Some questions to ponder: Did your parents take their anger out on you? Whether it was verbal, emotional or physical? What do you think it mean…

How's your nervous system in the relationship? I remember after 5.5 years I felt like an empty battery, I was a bit anxious sometimes, easily stressed, my sleep was poor. Pretty lonely despite having …

This is me, 10000%, and I do the same thing, when I’ve had enough I switch off and just can’t care anymore. It’s really toxic I think but it serves the purpose of self preservation. I wish I didn’t ha…

Correct. Also sending these paras would only make the avoidant walk away more from him, and it'll cause more anxiety for the op again. Avoidants don't care u live or die, they never form deep bonds. …

sending these paras would only make the avoidant walk away more from him, and it'll cause more anxiety for the op again. Avoidants don't care u live or die, they never form deep bonds. They are comfo…

Okay so what I am seeing is that your work culture has become toxic. And her changing the status of the friendship was a breaking point or maybe just when it all came to a head and was brought more pa…