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For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
What's new in AI for marketing: YouTube is testing AI reviews, will it reduce clicks? Google discusses search ranking volatility, beyond — Sometimes it’s so hard to keep up with all the AI news. It seems like it's taking over every platform and us as well. But the most important thing is staying updated on everything important. So let’s …
Strange WordPress Login Activity – Need Help Understanding — I've set up a new website, and **I'm the only one who has the login credentials**. However, I'm seeing **many login attempts recorded**, and I'm not sure who is trying to log in or why. I had installe…
Exactly what happened? — Looks like a whole community is starting to boycott Square. I even saw someone mention Stripe might be involved too. Anyone else hear about this? What's going on?
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …
feeling numb in dating but longing for intimacy — For the past few years, I've been mostly numb in dating. I don’t really feel anything romantic. I don’t feel sparks. I don’t feel excited about anyone or attached. I don’t miss people when I’m not wit…
Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…
If You Get to the Center Time Stops; Sun as the Center — During yesterday morning's tarot card reading, I received the message, "if you get to the center of the wheel, time stops." My interpretation was that getting to the center means *perceiving* time as …
tried dating sites at 41/42 and only get messages from 20 year olds — i'm a 42 year old female, never married, no kids, live alone. i'm chubby, have a shaved head, and am covered in tattoos... yes, its a look that tends to limit the kinds of responses i've gotten when t…
Is meditation good for sharpening the mind — I'm not the best at articulating this stuff but I'll try my best, hopefully it's understandable. I have a problem where my mind is very chaotic, a lot of the stuff is happening at the same time in t…
I honestly don't know what's going on with me: feeling oddly good after so many days without using any substances — Hello there and friendly greetings! As per title. I had my last trip on 7 Feb of this year with LSD and ever since then, I feel as though I’ve been living off my "psychedelic savings". I am not rea…
Someone from your dr manifesting YOU — There is something I have been thinking about and that is someone from your dr manifesting you to come into their life. I persinally think yes, as the people in our desired realities are real people l…
Wife cheated after 7 years of long distance and 3 years of marriage — Met my now wife 10 years ago online. I live in Europe and she is from the US. We talk for a year and things start to get romantic. I visit her for the summer and we decide to start dating and go long …
She left me — So i am M21 from Pune i was is healthy relationship from 3yr and Today she left me and block from all social media. We live like kind of live-in. i don’t know why she dump me and i have lot of male a…
"I don't know what to tell you" — Did anyone grow up with either of their parents saying this constantly? I'm 30M and my mother has said this to every single problem, big or small, I've ever had in my life. Whether it was financial qu…
I'm fourteen and I've been in a really weird situation my entire life. I don't know what to do. — trigger warning for sensitive content such as abuse (only financial abuse is really explicitly stated), alcoholism, s icidality (in the past, censoring in case it gets the post removed or something)?…
Loneliness is a major part of my depression, and I need help finding friends — Hey everyone. I am 28 and have had no friends all my life. I need help. I'm frustrated by the typical advice as I feel I've tried most of it, so I'd like to list what I do, and see if there are specif…
I'm unable to shift while dreaming — Every now and then when I'm dreaming and become somewhat concious that I am, I'll try to open up a portal to shift through and attempt to pass through it, but it doesn't change anything and the dream …
HELP ME UNDERSTAND — Hi everyone, I've been reading a lot about the subject and i'm also in therapy since 3 months. I'm already non in the relationship with this woman but i sort of need to make clarity and hear other…
Loneliness is a major part of my depression, and I need help finding friends — Hey everyone. I am 28 and have had no friends all my life. I need help. I'm frustrated by the typical advice as I feel I've tried most of it, so I'd like to list what I do, and see if there are specif…
I am 26F currently in USA since 3.5 years. All the astrologers have told me I have a "foreign" kundali. And that i am meant to stay abroad. I have a good career here but have been facing visa issues and now have to move back. I have no choice. What's going on? Can someone please help me? — https://preview.redd.it/gtl0yf867tsg1.png?width=827&format=png&auto=webp&s=2a4a5f57d5dbad1049f8cbb8cba307ebebec718f
help me — Last night, even though I couldn't sleep, I got into bed and tossed and turned for a few hours, imagining myself sitting somewhere else, and then in the thought that came to my mind, ı jump to the lam…
Loneliness is a major part of my depression, and I need help finding friends — Hey everyone. I am 28 and have had no friends all my life. I need help. I'm frustrated by the typical advice as I feel I've tried most of it, so I'd like to list what I do, and see if there are specif…
Astral Projection to childhood home / the further? — New to this community, I'll get straight into it. Also involves something potentially paranormal? Idk. My parents are divorced, I had my mom's house which we had moved into later in my life, and m…
10 grams and almost nothing — Good morning everyone, I had my first high dose of mushrooms yesterday. I ate 7 grams of Mazatapec at home, and all night I mostly just had very intense thoughts and a physical sensation, but no hallu…
Am I deactivating? — I'm still new to attachment theory and romantic relationships in general, so I'd like to hear other people's thoughts. I (20F) was dating one of my college friends (22F) "Clara" up until last month, …
From when I was younger, my mother ruined my life and turned my into an ungrateful bastard. — ​ the peak of everything is my mother, where she has always been the one trying to hold everything together, (and didnt accomplish. So, its all her fault.) She works at a shoe store. From whe…
Unfortunate in Friendships, once again. — TL;DR there is (maybe was) a friend of mine whom I thought is my best friend. I found her at my coaching, and I wanted to be friends with her badly. But, fortunately, she talked to me first cos I usua…
Therapy isn't the solution for me — I'll preface by saying I have done all sorts of therapy in the past - CBT, DBT, somatic, psychodrama, IFS. And I think it worked for what it needed to do at the time. But honestly I just need more su…
From when I was younger, my mother ruined my life and turned my into an ungrateful bastard. — ​ the peak of everything is my mother, where she has always been the one trying to hold everything together, (and didnt accomplish. So, its all her fault.) She works at a shoe store. From whe…
Loneliness is a major part of my depression, and I need help finding friends — Hey everyone. I am 28 and have had no friends all my life. I need help. I'm frustrated by the typical advice as I feel I've tried most of it, so I'd like to list what I do, and see if there are specif…
It has been two years — Exactly two years ago she ghosted me (f27) meanwhile marrying the guy she said she was only friends with and not to worry about, but confessing her feelings to me back in our friendship (I was in love…
From when I was younger, my mother ruined my life and turned me into an ungrateful bastard. — ​ the peak of everything is my mother, where she has always been the one trying to hold everything together, (and didnt accomplish. So, its all her fault.) From when I was really small, she’d…
My friend gifted me chocolates today. — Hello reddit, I(20F) have just received chocolates from a friend of mine(20M) and I don't know what to do. I am not interested in relationships or dating, I have tried in the past but I always ended …
Did my brothers manipulate or abuse me? — In short, my siblings emotionally neglected me while I was in a state of extreme exhaustion for about a year, and they didn't let me stop until six months later. They pushed me until my psyche began t…
Can you have aphantasia and cptsd? — I just realized I have aphantasia, and apparently, it's supposed to be a bit protective against PTSD because I don't really see things. The thing is that even though I don't even think about things I …
Mum not invited to friend's baby shower — I don't know why I'm so offended and anxious. My best friend, who I've known since I was 9, is pregnant with her second child (first miscarried) and isn't inviting my Mum to her baby shower. I asked…
let's share our depression hacks that no one ever talks about — 1. depressed in bed: i just switched onto the other side of the bed (head is where feet normally are.)I'm still depressed, but it's a hack and I feel \*different\* at the very least. 2. sit up. I'm no…
it's a rollercoaster — there is this "ex situationship" i have been in no contact with for 4 months and i can't get over him. every first romantic experience of mine happened with him unfortunately and everyday is a rolle…
I saw the news (trigger warning) — my team don't allow me watch the news it go on Instagram or anywhere i used to learn about current affairs but that i had to see my solicitor and I saw some of what's going on and my heart is pounding…
Feeling unworthy of love — I cannot comprehend why would anyone like me or love me , I want to be loved yet I doubt my worthiness for it , I genuinely cannot see anything lovable about myself from other people's eyes and I doub…
Split down the middle — This will be a long post, bear with me. So, many years ago during a particularly bleak period of my life, the left side of my body stopped responding so well. It's sort of numb, slower, and out of s…
Anxiety and ruminations after therapy — I'm not sure if this is right sub for this question, but my therapist is very mindfulness-based and sessions feel like a very meditative space. On the one hand, the use of silences feels very nice for…
Feeling trapped — TW: unwanted advances, rape?, molested I’m in a relationship that’s slowly destroying me, and I don’t know how to navigate it anymore. I don't feel like I have a voice. I’ve been with my partner for…
Not being understood but they think they do - PTSD symptoms — I've been having a really hard time functioning. I don't fully know what's going on because I'm "in it" and that is part of my issue. I suspect "it" is probably just full blown PTSD symptoms causing m…
I want to send her a letter so badly — I posted here the other day looking for support and it sort of helped but I still want her back so badly. Im 16 and my gf of 2 years just dumped me and then told me there's still a chance and then tol…
She Found Me. — Haven't spoken to my BPD mom in several years for many, many reasons. Too many to list here. We have a very dicey, abusive history that culminated in her throwing keys at me telling me she hated me a…
From when I was younger, my mother ruined my life and turned me into an ungrateful bastard. — ​ the peak of everything is my mother, where she has always been the one trying to hold everything together, (and didnt accomplish. So, its all her fault.) From when I was really small, she’d…
Proud of myself — Hello people. I never thought I'd share this with you but... I actually feel proud of myself. For the first time in... I don't even know how long, I stood up for myself. It was nothing tbh, but I sti…
Why can't things stay consistently good? — Everything is going right in my life but my mood is all over the place. One day I feel empty, the next suicidal, and the next I feel extremely happy and hopeful. Last year I thought things were going …
I think it's important to communicate how you're feeling and give reassurance to people around you who care for you. Silence might feel like self care to you but not to others. I dated a DA who thoug…
Dang! I really felt this post. I've been working on becoming secure for over five years now. Met a great guy and leaned in to any initial discomfort, because I recognized it was not him/us, it was me.…
I'd be curious what's going on with the guys you date that pull away after a few months. The knee-jerk reaction you describe is useful information but it would be more useful to see if you're somehow …
Wow, you have done a significant amount of research. I am just now learning about these Avoidant Attachment Styles. I'm not real sure what my SO has, and I'm also not sure which attachment style I hav…
Oh gosh, I can feel your pain through the screen. What you are going through is a normal modern human experience, so please don't place all the blame on yourself. It's amazing that you are trying to b…
Doing things in place of limerence is coping. Coping helps in the immediate/short-term, but not the long term. I'd recommend using an IFS style approach when you catch the limerence happening and t…
Is mind reading an anxious attachment trait? What I mean by that is expecting people to understand what's going on with you without having to say anything? One of my friendships ended, unfortunately, …
You should check out the book Nonviolent Communication!! There are free PDFs online if you want to try before you buy. I'm moving from AA -> Secure and it has been super helpful. The basic idea is: …
Mainly platonic connections - family (those who are safe and with whom you can be authentic) and platonic friendships. People you can go to and talk to about what's going on with you who will be supp…
Even though I'm FA, as a person whose almost exclusively avoidant in friendships, I don't think this is true at all. My secure friendships all followed a pretty distinct trajectory of periods where I …
I think her perspective on 'if they like you, you will know' is a bit of a reach. When someone attaches to another person is highly subjective. I don't agree with her perspective on anxious = fear of…
No it's not a boundary at all for me and same for most avoidants I've known. It's only annoying if it's so much when I'm not answering that it's an overwhelming pile up. Or if it's a lot of "are you o…
Interesting you're running into the issue of being bored of being questioned, while I have the opposite problem of being bored of not being questioned. Happy medium eh. And yeah I agree it's not a goo…
I feel extremely confused and don't know what to do. I honestly don't understand if I don't understand myself or what's going on. So the guy I am seeing came to my place yesterday's afternoon and st…
Thank you so much for sharing it. I am literally crying and feeling so torn. I know that it is not because he is a bad person or because he is not interested, he is just like that, I guess. It really…
That person, and actually everyone who replied to you, is bringing their own personal feelings into their assessment of your relationships. You and your two people aren't doing anything wrong as long …
Always! Just dm me with a little bit about what's going on!
He might be able to guess what's going on, but that should be OK, right? You maintain reasonable doubt / some interesting tension. The point is you're not doing anything inappropriate, you're just be…
It's not your decision to make unilaterally. If that's what you want, be honest about it and have a serious talk. If I were on the receiving end of this and I realised what's going on I would immediat…
The way he wrote "I'll take YOU up on that" sounds like he's waiting for you to make the plans. It's hard to know exactly what's going on in the very early stages although (hopefully) you don't want t…
>I need a slow burn situation where I lead with how physical things get and when it happens, and many men seem to think they have to jump into the physical really fast to get momentum going. Absolute…
So I've been seeing this guy for a year now. Despite us agreeing we wanted to take things slowly at the beginning, everything ramped up very fast. In part because we both enjoy eachothers company but …
Everyone is suggesting therapy because a therapist can help you identify where these avoidant tendencies are coming from, how they inform your decision-making, and how you can identify when you're ope…
>He went from texting me pretty consistently throughout the day, checking in on how my day was going or updating me on what's going on in his daily life, to pretty much nothing. Leaving me on read/del…
Not into full grown beard covering the lips, soft or not. Related: Used to think I would never be into facial hair *at all*, but now I have a partner with what they call designer stubble and I find m…
So, a few first thoughts - none of this is meant to be accusatory or judgmental, but are my first reactions here, and I think kind of teasing out some unstated things could help. **First:** …
How do people deal with receiving the slow fade? I've been on a number of dates over the last 3 months, we've had sex, but now their response are taking longer and longer and are shorter and shorter. …
that's super interesting but i am 110% certain this is not what's going on for me. i don't relate to anything i read about it and it doesn't track at all with my relationship history or my internal ex…
Hi, I need some support. It's all ended with the guy I was seeing. He basically just disappeared. Said he felt so mentally bad, couldn't go to work for two days, was so depressed. I had been trying …
So he answered this to my "breakup message" (a bit below). His response: "Can we at least call each other tomorrow to settle this up.. I just don’t know what to say anymore". What do I even say? Wh…
It sounds like it's the anxious speaking to me. You didn't do anything wrong, but you're assuming she's ignoring you when her circumstances just might have changed. New job, new life stressors, sudden…
I'm amazed at your memory! You are 100% correct. I was overly infatuated with her. In hindsight, it was an unhealthy level of obsession and it created unrealistic expectations for anyone else. That s…
My multi-dating saga continues with guy 2 cancelling a date today. Things have been getting more serious with guy 1 to the point where I've had mixed feelings on multi-dating. But I feel sad about the…
I've been practicing Radical Honesty (the branded modality you can learn from books & workshops) for a couple years now and it's been the #1 thing that's helped me. It's not "brutal honesty" or whatev…
I do now, but I didn't for the first 40 years of my life, and I think I've been deactivated most of it. Even after learning about my attachment style and about deactivation, at first I could not recog…
I think almost definitionally, someone unaware of their attachment style or attachment theory isn't gonna know what's going on and will see their deactivation as a normal reaction to the circumstance …
I'm replying again to the same comment because I was very sleepy when I made the first response, and missed where you said "to think this beautiful moment that happened between us is actually what ble…
I’ve befriended the women closest to him that he's in contact with. I laid everything out on the table... luckily, they believed me and they still do. We talk often and always discuss what's going on.…
But then why is he not trying to solve the problem or find out who is doing it or get a new number or any other thing? If he's not sending them, and he cares about his wife, why is he denying and offe…
If he hasn't tried to fix anything, he knows what's going on. When someone loves you and someone is sending evil messages to you, they would investigate and find out what is going on. He is not doin…
Exactly. If someone were spoofing my number, I'd move heaven and earth to figure out how and who. And if that wasn't happening, I'd be camped outside my doctor's office to find out what's going on. …
As a single dad... What's a social life? 😅 I run a d&d game most Mondays, but even that's a struggle with the little one being to young to understand what's going on
I personally can't be fake or hypocritical. I would however be honest and say, "bro, I'm happy for you but life for me is shit right now and mom is draining and adding to my stress. I don't want to br…
This is important timing. Building a village when a baby is born is from the ground up and I think your brother is trying to lay the foundation, and earlier commitment with clear support makes the who…
Well that's true but then again my school teachers don't really care what's going on with a student's life because they think it's family situation that the student should deal with on their own.
Original copy of post by u/Im_not_a_librarian: i'm a 42 year old female, never married, no kids, live alone. i'm chubby, have a shaved head, and am covered in tattoos... yes, its a look that tends to…
I forget how many stages in a marriage there are, but this is typical of how relationships start failing, and you have to recreate them. Build a different relationship; quite natural and par for the c…
Because he's doing it. This woman doesn't have to become a detective to figure out what's going on. If he was worried he should be figuring it out but he's not because it's him doing it and he's too m…
Niacin is a vasodilator so effect is twofold - gets psilocybin moving through your system and warms up your body (but remember that feeling hot means you're losing heat - this is just a way to hold yo…
Yeah, it makes zero sense to be so nonchalant if he genuinely has no idea what's going on. The only way his response makes any sense to me is that either it's him and he has been deliberately gaslight…