GREW UP

Fuck you fuck you — you irresponsible pieces of shit you cowards never even tried truly for your own "you dont respect" ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha fucj YOUBS YOU PIECE OF SHIT WHO THE FUCK SEES A CHILD AND WA…

What I'm realizing: I relate closest to others with deep trauma and that is a troublesome recipe. — TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfunction. I grew up with an alcoholic parent…

Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…

Anxious Attachment Help — I'm a 44 M and feel like an emotionally secure relationship is impossible. What's helped you heal? I feel like everything in my life has been taken from me and have a difficult time finding motivation…

I want love but can't push past knowing that I would be a burden in all of my relationships — Hi, I am a 26F and want to seek some advice from this subreddit because I truly do not know who else I can talk about this with, and writing has always been easier than talking out loud. Sidenote: I …

Feeling “off” after trust rupture — attachment system or intuition? — I have been dating my current partner for about a year now. Long post incoming. I’m posting because I’m noticing a significant avoidant shift in myself and I need perspective specifically on my own at…

Dating as someone between cultures — Hi, just a thought I had with regards to non locals living in a different country: what has been your experience trying to date someone local? I personally have found it incredibly difficult as some…

Struggling with wondering where life went wrong without a "defining moment" — I struggle with wondering where my life went wrong. I have good parents, had a good childhood, got good grades, had friends, went to college, etc. However, I've never been in a healthy romantic relati…

Coming to terms with possible childhood emotional neglect - curious how others turned out — As I’ve gotten older and started reflecting on my life, I’ve slowly worked backwards and realised that I might have experienced childhood emotional neglect (CEN). What’s funny is that it actually sta…

Six Months of Dating in Europe as an East Asian Guy — Honestly Better Than I Expected — Today marks my sixth month living in Europe. Looking back at the past half year and all the European girls I’ve interacted with, I thought it would be fun to do a little reflection—what I did well, wh…

I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help. — I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is genuinely the best person I know. Kind, safe, loyal. He’s my best friend. When I cry, he’s who I want holding me. When something funny happe…

Ky Lan - Asian Activewear & Lifestyle - Kỳ Lân - Asian Activewear — Check out this Asian founded athletics brand founded by Hai Bui a Vietnamese American who grew up in Hungary. Incorporates Asian aesthetics and culture into athletic wear. Proudly Asian!

I feel like no one talks about parental co-dependency… — My mother and I are thick as thieves and have been ever since I was born. I grew up in a household full of boys and men, my mother being the only consistent woman in my life. I had many ups and dow…

When did you finally realise, your life would never be ‘normal’? — I am 47M I grew up in an EXTREMELY dysfunctional household, with every type of abuse you can imagine, and death of a parent at 12. I’ve had to fend for myself since that age, whilst being used and a…

Covert narcissists are drawn to people with a strong instinct to help and care. — I grew up early. Owning Responsibilities that weren't mine. I learned that love was earned through being useful, stable, and selfless. I became the person people brought their chaos to. The one who a…

‘Bing’s Cherries’ rewrites the American tall tale through Oregon grower’s life — “Bing’s Cherries,” written and illustrated by Taiwanese American authors Livia Blackburne and Julia Kuo, is set for publication on March 10. **If you grew up in the United States, chances are the fol…

Every time I post on social media, I feel less and less like there’s space for me on the Internet. — I grew up on social media, beginning on Xanga and MySpace at 10 years old. Then, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, as I grew up and entered adulthood. I’ve always over shared my life on the Inter…

I (31M) have a situation with an aunt (70F) where she thinks she is my handler, she won't back off whenever I tell her to knock it off. — I'm just curious if my pushback is the only solution, or if I need to rethink my approach with this aunt, I'm going to use my sister's wedding night to paint the picture of what I've dealt with all my…

I achieved my dream… now what? — Hi everyone, I’m in my early 30s and I’m facing a luxury problem I never thought I’d have. I’ve basically achieved what I set out to do, since I was a kid. I have a good education, a well paying job…

Does anyone else feel they can tend to be unsympathetic to those who grew up without emotional neglect? — I feel this often. When I see online posts of someone with a familial problem (I judge as) banal. And pretty often in the PHP group I used to go to. It makes me feel awful and like I’m being unfair to…

I (28F) care deeply about my fiancé (28M) but feel like the romantic connection has faded after years of imbalance. How do you know when it’s truly over? — From a burner account. I’m looking for some perspective because I feel like I’m at the end of a long internal process and I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if this is just the reality of where my re…

I want to go home. — There’s bad nights like tonight where I just keep thinking “I want to go home.” I think it so much that I say it aloud on accident sometimes. I’m at my house now, that’s not what I mean by home. I ke…

self concept got me my dream life — This is a rant, but this is a confirmation that self-concept is real and it's what changes your life. Self-concept is something that you shouldn't convince yourself of. Self-concept is something you b…

Sister (29F) has not invited me (32F) to be a part of her wedding. Does she not want me to come? — My little sister is getting married this year. Backstory: we grew up with abusive parents. I spent my childhood shielding her from abuse. When I got older and moved out I made sure to take good care …

please, take your time to hear my story, because no one else ever did — My mom gave birth to me when she was 41 years old, I have a sister and a brother, my sister is 27 years old, but she has mental problems and behaves terribly immature, so she is always making screamin…

Understanding the parent who ‘did nothing’ has been really hard for me. My therapist recommended I share. — EDIT: Thank you for being a safe place to share. I feel seen, but also heartbroken that so many of us have this in common. Due to the kind encouragement I received, I have posted links to the three …

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

Did anyone here grow up with a parent who was autistic/neurodivergent or emotionally distant/neglectful ? — Hi everyone. I (20f) am posting because for a long time i have known that I was very emotionally neglected as a child and I’m wondering if anyone here grew up with an autistic parent. My mom was diag…

I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …

Horrified to find myself talk to my baby the way my mom used to talk to me — I grew up with two parents who hated each other but stayed married. They were also emotionally very distant and verbally & physically abusive to me (they'd beat me up sometimes). I don't ever remember…

Have we reached a tipping point with generational trauma? — So many people are just… so traumatized man. I’ve met way too many people over the years that are obviously stuck in a 4F response. I can’t imagine it was this bad when my parents grew up. Maybe it wa…

My (M38) wife (F34) has been very quiet since a conversation we had of why I love her. Confused about her silence. — So I'm a little bit confused about this. A couple of days ago, my wife came to me asking the question that has been asked many times during our marriage. "Do you still love me? And why do you love me?…

Anyone's Nparents raised you to become dependent, then complain about your dependence and pressure you to be independent? — I was raised to become dependent. As a child, i used to not speak and be selectively mute, because i thought i didn't need to speak as my mother controlled all aspects of my life. She didn't just pres…

First Regulate Your Nervous System — Recently I watched a YouTube video by a guy named Reeves Tsang called how to reset your nervous system (and how to finally override your reality) This is one of the first manifestation videos I've se…

Does anyone else feel like they were robbed of real socialization? — Don’t know where else to ask this, but I’m assuming some people in here can relate. I feel like everyone around me grew up with these big, supportive families and close family friends and always had…

[Update] My (24F) Husband (23M) Faked Fainting After I Gave Birth — It’s been almost a year, so I thought I’d give an update in case anyone is wondering. First, I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment, message me, or simply read and reflect on the post.…

Realised me and my wife of 12 years have a codependent relationship! Can we change? — Hello, I've had quite the few weeks… I’ve been married to my wife for 12 years we both grew up in very religious households which is part of what brought us together in terms of shared values and try…

Nonordinary Perception — I'm so glad I found this community, I've posted in the paranormal and the witchcraft communities and been called fake, liar, crazy, and all kinds of names for sharing my paranormal experiences, so I'm…

Anyone find overly strict Asian Parenting methods don't build discipline — I grew up like many Asian Americans with very strict parents. They monitored my grades, homework, extra curriculars, and leisure activities. However, even though I was able to succeed under their wat…

How do people become emotionally immature? — I was raised by and surrounded by emotionally immature adults my whole life, while living in a toxic and abusive household created mainly by my father’s abuse towards my mother, and her compliance and…

How do I tell her? — TDLR: I’ve been talking with this girl (24f) for about a month. I really like this girl. I’ve dated in the past but never really felt like this before. I don’t know how to explain it but we click. My…

I normally don’t like to talk about my issues outside of therapy because I just want people to see me as normal, but I’m 36 and still can’t get past the effects of trauma from my childhood. — I grew up with a mom who is obviously mentally ill, very likely borderline personality disorder at the very least. I grew up white trash in poverty surrounded by drugs and trashy people my whole life …

I love my bf, but i genuinely cannot stand his dog, its affecting everything — Okay, I need honest opinions because I feel ridiculous even typing this, but it’s becoming a serious issue in my relationship, For reference, I am a girl, 21 and he is 23, we have been dating for a ye…

30 Years in "Functional Freeze": How I mistook Survival for Personality — For three decades, I lived in a state of high-functioning freeze. I was the "perfect" and reliable son, but internally, I felt like a total fraud. I grew up with a mother who used the Silent Treatment…

I’m scared I’m the kind of mom people talk about here, even though I’m trying so hard not to be… — I found this group after typing into google “how can I get strength to parent after being so tired from work” on a Friday afternoon. I’ve been reading through this forum and it’s honestly been sit…

I (27F) keep getting mocked about my lack of friends by my boyfriend (32M) — To provide context, my boyfriend (32M) has had the same friends since he was in diapers and I love that for him. I’ve had friends in phases as a result of my upbringing. For more information, I grew …

Why are my intimate relationships so rough? (unhealthy relationship w/ the masculine?) — I have a pattern of being in highly codependent relationships and usually I’m the one displaying avoidant toxic traits, and I can feel very strong masculinity even as I identify as female. My current …

How to tell? — I know I haven't healed yet from my experience. But I'm having days where I feel lighter. I grew up in a home where we never repaired from conflict. We just moved on because we knew we loved each othe…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

Has anyone had to fix their moral compass because they weren't taught how to be a good human? — Please be kind, I don't know where else to go with these thoughts. I've been mulling them over for a long time now with nowhere to go and no one to talk to about it. I never learned from my parents …

Immense anger after being cheated on.. 8 year relationship. — 8 year relationship down the drain.. I met her when I was 23m.. She BEGGED ME to take her serious. I took road trips frequently for work during that time and she felt like I didn’t spend enough time w…

That was an instant example I was giving as of today. Well, on bigger stuff: getting into Harvard with shit gmat scores on a full ride scholarship (miraculously some rich dude donated to the school, a…

1. That is why it’s called maladaptive daydreaming. The person does so to escape their current reality. They are not making actual changes, thinking different thoughts, reconditioning the subconscious…

1. Mental thoughts don’t become physical reality. Beliefs do. Repetitive mental thoughts turn into beliefs. 2. People in your world reflect your beliefs. Perhaps upon meeting someone you had an origi…

Not sure why people down voted you. FA stands for Fearful-avoidant aka a disorganised attachment style. People who have this attachment style likely grew up in emotionally/physically abusive household…

This isnt wrong. Think about the way we used to punish people in our societies of the past - we would exile them. Being socially ostracized used to mean certain death for us. Somewhere in our genes we…

I can say absolutely the same about anxious-attached people, but you don’t see me doing that? You ripped my words out of the context. Do I know that I’m avoidant? Yes. I used to be real bad as a teen.…

This attachment style develops from trauma. Your posts shows that you are unaware of the trauma you experienced. Therapy would be a great place for you to build some insight. Many people are unawa…

So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…

One of my biggest and longstanding issues is that I do not/did not involve anyone. It’s not even like I lay something at their feet and then rip it away suddenly and blame them. I simply never asked. …

It’s honestly uncanny, how accurately you have described my own situation - except that it has been a week now and we (me: f34, AP - him: m30, DA) were together for 10, married for 8 years. We were ea…

>There's a good chance she might have a kickback dismissive avoidant response when things get real and she has to "choose you". That'll start off a progression of fault-finding. You're not going to th…

’m in a really difficult spot with my boyfriend. We’ve been together since late 2021, and recently he’s been second-guessing our relationship. I think im anxious and he’s avoidant. I’m 22 and he’s 25 …

My dms are always open friend, I grew up with anxious attachment style, I'm learning how to work through my triggers. Always here for support.

Anxious attachment does indeed show up at work The issue is to look at scenes from your childhood where these issues originate from The sense of being abandoned . Anxious attachment is indeed cyc…

(DA hard pattern female here) From my perspective that issues is more down to what a human has learned up to this moment - or not. A lot men grew up with mothers/females that took care of health issu…

I feel very seen because your reply reflects my situation almost exactly. What you experience with your partner, I experience with my best friend. With my regular friends I’m “casual friends.” I l…

Text of original post by u/f1rstpancake: TW: addiction, suicide, physical and emotional abuse, CSA. I have CPTSD, routine struggles with depression and anxiety and the corresponding executive dysfun…

Sure, here is a portion that resonated with me a lot and made sense on what attracts me to the avoidants or unavailable or troubled people. Shall share more if you are interested: The need to be need…

Wow, I really appreciate how clearly you laid all of this out. It takes a lot of self-awareness to notice the pattern underneath the individual relationships, and even more to name the parts of you th…

I would not want you as a parent. I grew up with an emotional unavailable single mother and it f*ck me up. Thank goodness I have the money and resources today go get the therapy, meds, and my own purs…

“You don’t even need to be fully healed.” That’s a slippery slope, and the source of the pushback, I think. Not being fully healed opens one up to animating the same attachment disorders that one gre…

I've thought about rejection sensitivity and RSD a lot before (especially in therapy) but I always struggle when trying to understand if the amount of sensitivity that I feel to rejection is normal or…

I think you touched on it when you mentioned we rationally know that's not true. Sometimes I toss stuff in the jar and just decide I'll pick it apart later. Some people I truly hate and they stay in t…

I get what you mean but I’ve often found that people who grew up with a secure, nice family who are secure tend to have a lot of empathy and understanding about mental health problems. My dad is ver…

okay so I actually think I lean more towards anxious preoccupied attachment now… not that ChatGPT is always right but I used it not too long ago when I questioned my attachment style tbh and it made s…

Here's my thoughts after being on this subreddit for a while, and I am someone who has been daily practicing for the past 8+ months with no physical results. 1. Maladaptive daydreaming proves that ma…

If you aren't already aware of it, the r/glasschildren subreddit might be an additional helpful space. I also grew up with a sibling who had autism and was violent in multiple ways, and with parents w…

I think AA and hyper-vigilance, they are all coming from the same place. AA is hyper-vigilance regarding abandonment. You don't want to be abandoned by your partner. One or both of your care givers li…

I'm 18. I'm barely an adult and these feelings I don't see myself getting rid of. Yes of course I crave that love, because no one ever gave it to me. Everyone that was supposed to, and everyone that I…

Its cliche to say this but it is true when people say to focus on yourself. They just kind of suck at explaining how. I'm going through a new break up right now and what kept me stuck before the most …

Okay so I agree with a lot of what was said here, and I have something additional to add.  I think part of this is the overculture. I grew up reading mags with articles about how "drive them crazy…

That makes a lot of sense. What you’re describing doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings. It sounds like a nervous system shutdown when you’re pushed to go inward. When the body tenses and wants to run,…

I grew up under almost the same conditioning. It took therapy for me to realize something unsettling: for years, I was missing entire chances to feel like myself. Somewhere along the way, I learned h…

For me, the guilt hasn't entirely gone away. I honestly don't know if it ever will but I have found that with practice it's gotten a lot less... weighty. I was bad about this too. I grew up with an …

Hey everyone, I (31m) am living in a small Austrian town of about 25k. I have a stable, well-paying job I don’t want to leave, but I’m very lonely and struggling to meet someone. My attraction is stro…

That’s what I grew up thinking (my parents are the best couple I know), but I’ve had a different experience :/

Yeah, I thought about saying that too; I studied Spanish in college and grew up in Texas, but I’m a white girl so I wasn’t sure I hadn’t missed something cultural. Still, I’ve never heard anyone say t…

I would break up with him because 1) he lied to you about his married status, 2) he can't even call you his girlfriend, and 3) it took him FIVE YEARS to say ILY to his ex. Those are all pretty major …

Plenty of people who are allergic to dogs still have dogs (in my personal experience). They take precautions like frequent vacuuming, no dogs in the bed, take daily allergy pill. Does he still get the…

Hey everyone, I (31m) am living in a small Austrian town of about 25k. I have a stable, well-paying job I don’t want to leave, but I’m very lonely and struggling to meet someone. My attraction is stro…

Oh, for sure. And that weird combo of flirting with nagging, negging a little bit, always confuses me. I grew up with three big brothers. So roasting always reads as very platonic and brotherly to m…

If it helps, if he's an actual Greek from Greece as opposed to a descendant of Greeks who grew up in the US, what you're reading as infatuation might just be the expected communication style for a dat…

I got one remotely! It was pretty glitchy so I didn’t try for more.  I saw Cathy Jordan who’s the singer for an Irish folk band called Dervish - she did this cool collab project with artists during t…

She's started turning up at social events I've been going to for years. And bringing new bf and being super handsy and whatnot with him. We also still have a legal entanglement she's refusing to …

LOL That is such a Pittsburgh problem tbh. I grew up in SEA and now live in PIT too. Can you give us a little more detail? How has your ex been making herself annoying and what is it about the Burgh …

She's started turning up to social events I've been going to for years. The climate here is bugging me too. It's been a rough winter. Also there's a better market for my job in Seattle (typic…

We've only been together a couple of months and she's a PGH native. She's told me she's always wanted to live in the PNW for a few years. She's more interested in Portland, but has never been to eit…

While I agree to a certain extent about getting to know people for who they are beyond political views, I generally draw the line at dating. I have friends on both sides of politics, one of my best fr…

I can meet you halfway on that. I grew up religious too and I still am by choice. No one makes me go to church on Sundays. I go for my own peace. It works for me. But if someone doesn’t want to go to …

I grew up when skinny jeans were popular on highschool so I much prefer them to like baggy pants