book
what-ifs
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For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…
How I Stopped the Mental Doomscroll and fixed My Brain's Feed With These 4 Steps. — # Your brain has autoscroll enabled and nobody gave you the off switch. You know the feeling. Replaying cringe conversations at 3am, missing your ex, having mental arguments in your own head… Thi…
How I Stopped the Mental Doomscroll and fixed My Brain's Feed With These 4 Steps. — # Your brain has autoscroll enabled and nobody gave you the off switch. You know the feeling. Replaying cringe conversations at 3am, missing your ex, having mental arguments in your own head… Thi…
I'm sorry to hear that. I saw your post about it, that sounds rough. I was going through it in a big way when I wrote this comment. I'm back to some level of stable, if heartbroken lol. I did reach …
Agreed! It sounds like a very recent relationship. Plus, OP says that he friend zoned her over the summer—it sounds like he just was never super into her. I’d recommend OP try to view this as dodgi…
I wouldn't call it "pining". Just... wondering about what-ifs. And yeah, I was finding it fishy, but also thought a writing forum may not be the best place to catfish people like this. And sorry to h…
Damn! You really said what I felt. I really wish in another life we could have been together and were able to face all circumstances together. I wished we were on the same page. Breaking up with him w…
Trust past you knew what they were doing. The "what-ifs" are so hard. But past me knew about the "what-ifs" too. They're a very smart person because YOU'RE a very smart person. Still makes me want…
Things are really good right now I have a GF who’s crazy about me, and I her. The struggle now is letting my guard down. I fear the what-ifs.
I really love this perspective, thank you. So basically, completely ignore the present whats, what-ifs, and hows, right? The irrelevant details don't matter, it's having the confidence that we reached…
Well, it took way longer than it should've, but I finally see my last relationship in the rearview mirror as opposed to dealing with the what-ifs. It is still a bit raw, but I've come to grips with th…
I guess I'm not understanding why you want to be anonymous to your own therapist, given that it's already confidential. I'm not assuming there is some sort of reportable harm in your case. I'm just …
Walk away. You didn't take a "wrong step" with her but you are taking a wrong step if you waste any more time and energy on the what-ifs. Don't do it to yourself. And don't do it again, if you can hel…
Yes I did, it was my first relationship and it’s been almost 8 years. I left because I lost feelings & wasn’t mature enough to handle the relationship at that time. I only realised how much I’ve hurt …
I would start by telling her you regret saying that. Even if you do feel some truth to it, it doesn’t mean you wanted to say it to her. You said it because you want time with her again and we often …
Dear AdeptDifference1422, It's truly commendable how you're navigating through this complex journey of emotions with such courage. The fact that you have been focusing on yourself shows great streng…
Who else deals with terrible intrusive thoughts about the matches with good conversations that you never got to meet? Even the ones from years ago? Especially if you feel like you screwed it up? Even …
Life always has what-ifs. We can't control others. We can control our attitudes. Like, believing in love is an attitude, a choice, right?
I might very well be the female version of you, haha. There’s always someone that cares a bit more and one who cares a bit less in a marriage. A perfect balance is impossible, but I always wanted to …
Stop trying to fix the sadness - it's supposed to be there. Notice when you're spiraling into what-ifs vs. actually present, and just come back. Catching that gap is the whole thing.
You will, you’ve just gone through a massive upheaval. You are still processing the what-ifs in hindsight. At some point you’ll start thinking about the future possibilities, what you can now do but d…
I have almost the same situation here brother. Weeks of guilt, regrets, and what-ifs along with deep reflection on my faults in the relationship. Personally not going to send anything to her as I resp…