fault

Learning to study — I need advice on what subject to study to learn to study. A little backstory, I've never studied a day in my life, like actually studied, if I didn't learn something in class then I felt it wasn't my…

Other attachment styles — I know the normal 4: Secure, Anxious/preoccupied fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant, plus disorganized, which is just sort of an "all of the above" In doing parts work, I've been trying to figure…

How do I get my google sites webpage to appear in google searches? — I have created a personal webpage under google sites. It is: [https://sites.google.com/view/fhcomponent/domov](https://sites.google.com/view/fhcomponent/domov) For some reason it does not show up in…

Google not indexing images from my site? Images don't show up in search results? — I submitted my website to Google months ago and they've successfully crawled it many times. For some reason it doesn't seem they are indexing any of the images on the site. My website is image heavy a…

How to use tools like createfy or vidnoz in other languages ​​without causing problems — Hello! I was trying to leverage AI tools that allow for mass content creation, such as Creatify or Vidnoz, but the problem is that I want to do it in Spanish, and the default Spanish voices are very r…

Why did it take OpenAI 24 hours to roll back a faulty model? — Hi everyone, I read through [an article by OpenAI](https://openai.com/index/expanding-on-sycophancy/) and stumbled upon the following segment: >With the recent GPT‑4o update, we started the rollout …

Different Businesses Need Different Content Formats – Here's Why (i will not promote) — Hey everyone! One thing I see often overlooked is the fact that **not all businesses need the same type of content formats**. Depending on your target audience and the type of business you run, the …

WooCommerce CSS Best Practices with Block Editor — I need advise/help with best practices when implementing CSS for WooCommerce using the block editor. WooCommerce warns against writing CSS based off the block name classes but the current default Gut…

What Platform Engineering Really Means (and How It Differs from DevOps and SRE) — Hey all, I just wrote a piece breaking down what **Platform Engineering** is — not just as a buzzword, but as a real discipline that’s emerging in many engineering organizations. 🔧 **Key takeaways…

Making the entire website a fixed-width — This is probably a stupid question, so I apologize in advance. I am working on a website for my dad that he had someone create back in 2013. Everything is fine so far, but the only problem is that he …

Being an Entrepreneur is bloody hard — That's a quote from Dan Pena and it's absolutely right. The bum boys on Instagram, YouTube and all the rest that pretend like it's easy are 1000% full of it. The true life of a business person and e…

I made a custom date-time picker using pure JS and CSS. — Hey r/webdev. A few months ago I put together this date-time picker system for a project I was working on, as I needed a professional way for users to be able to select dates and times for various fun…

Simple Hover Effect — **Hi,** I'm new to WordPress and I'm trying to create a hover effect for my homepage. Specifically, I’d like an image to switch to a colored version when the mouse hovers over it—the default image wo…

Is There A Social Login Plugin That Still Interacts With The user_register Action When Making An Account? — Hi everyone, On my WordPress website, I have some custom code that runs on the user\_register action after the user has submitted the registration form which I basically use to give the new account t…

tailwindcss-github-markdown – GitHub Markdown styling for TailwindCSS — I was frustrated with the default styles of tailwindcss/typography, so I created a plugin that ports GitHub's beautiful Markdown styling to Tailwind CSS. The plugin (\`tailwindcss-github-markdown\`)…

Wordpress Staging vs. LocalWP for website redesign — Hey everyone, I’m working on a full redesign and cleanup of an existing WordPress website, and I want to make sure the development process doesn’t hurt the site’s current SEO at all — both during deve…

Stylize Iubenda's legal documentation pages — So here is the default style from Iubenda, which, in my opinion, is not very good at all. https://preview.redd.it/zu7k8lyp5eze1.png?width=3688&format=png&auto=webp&s=61abff0980c19eb776e959fc3afcccc84…

CKA? Or EKS project? — Here's a bit of context as to why I feel like I need to get out of dodge ASAP... IT Management: "We need **more automation**! Nobody should be using User Data scripts." Me: \*Writes several Ansible…

No one should suffer because we have trauma. — I see a lot of people accept harmful behavior, because their partner has past trauma, but in my opinion, that is wrong. I know I can come off as harsh sometimes, but we have to have honest conversatio…

It’s frustrating how often I run into women with Avoidant tendencies. — I’m at a point where I just end things early if I see too many Avoidant tendencies early, but it seems like women with Avoidant tendencies are drown to me more often than secure or anxious which I’d r…

Thank you — I'm in one of the healthiest relationships I've ever been in, and this subreddit—along with my therapist—has helped me in a big way. I still get triggered, but I'm better at self-soothing and have lea…

Losing (F23, AA) my mind in my relationship with my (F22, DA) sister. — We’ve had some real struggles, and I’m at a loss for what to do. I feel generally pretty secure outside of this one relationship, but recently it’s been making my AA flair up in my romantic partnersh…

I regressed so much this year — This year has been brutal since the beginning. Every single aspect of my life increased my anxiety. Multiple health issues in the family, some of them still ongoing and very serious, financial concern…

I don't want to cry all day and feel lonely anymore. I don't want to fear abandonment anymore. I want to improve myself. — In 12th grade I became very close to a classmate of mine. Both of us bonded over shared trauma and basically became inseparable. We texted each other 24/7 and became very VERY affectionate which then …

Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…

how to deal with an avoidant's freeze response in hard times? — my partner is FA, I've known him for a long time. He has made a lot of effort and has changed for the better. He's the more secure one between the two of us honestly, and he's pretty good at fighting …

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

A Splash of Cold-Water for you — **Background** Hey everyone, I'm a contributor to this subreddit, and spend time lurking from time to time. I'm quite familiar with every attachment style. I, myself, had to earn security from my ow…

A letter to my fearful avoidant ex — 31st December 2025 So here we are. Another night, another thought. It’s been nearly 25 days since Eddie left me. Recently, so many emotions have been running through my mind. I never thought I would…

How do I know if I've emotionally checked out or just a protesting behaviour? — I am at a point where I feel withdrawn and not want to talk to a close friend, after repeatedly being let down. "Let down" is probably too harsh. The cultivating event was when I reached out seeking s…

Does anyone here consider cardio a form of meditation — When I start jogging or when I do cardio, it feels like meditation to me. My thoughts might start going rampant but then I have to focus on the present which is continuing to run while not getting tir…

F**CKKKKKKKKK — I don’t really have anywhere to say this, so I’m just putting it here. I was with someone for a long time who I truly believed was my person. From the beginning, there was just something about her th…

Does anybody else get upset that you were set up to fail. That you didn't even get the opportunity to start on the same foot as everybody else. — My brain structure is literally disfigured from trauma, I'm socially stunted, my physiological responses are wired for stress. I feel trapped, I know that these things can change and I can heal, but t…

My (28f) boyfriend (37m) drinks to excess nearly every weekend, am I selfish for wanting it to stop? — Throwaway account. Please tell me if I am crazy for feeling this way. My boyfriend (37m) and I (28f) have what I consider to be a generally good relationship. We’ve had some issues in the past that we…

Stuck In My Head After Affair — So 3 years ago, I found through phone bills that my wife was texting a coworker more than anyone else. I confronted her as she had also been very distant. After trickle truthing she admitted to having…

Y'all ever realize how narcissists create unconditional amounts of chaos and then blame everyone else for it? — Like I can't be the only one. They're literally come in disrupt your entire day leave you in the aftermath of a tornadoes chaos and then look at you with this genuine look of concern and confusion as …

My boyfriend (M35) and I (F27) have not said i love you, over a year of dating — TLDR; My boyfriend (M35) and I (f27) have been together for over a year, he hasn’t said I love you despite having talked about marriage, kids, future together. In a conversation he said he was apprehe…

I feel like no one talks about parental co-dependency… — My mother and I are thick as thieves and have been ever since I was born. I grew up in a household full of boys and men, my mother being the only consistent woman in my life. I had many ups and dow…

AM silent treatment is HELL — For context- two days ago AM asked me (19F) and my sister (17F) why our cousin and our close friends are scared or intimidated by her. We started making fun of her for the things she used to do or say…

Where to go from here — Just to warn you, this is a long one... For context, my partner (F39) and I (M40) have been together for 17 years, have two kids together. This all started in early January but seems to have been goi…

Nmom wants an invite to my wedding or she is going to divorce my dad — TLDR; Nmom wants an invite to my wedding. I don’t plan on it as she doesn’t support or respect my decision, and only wants to go because my dad plans on attending and she doesn’t want to have to put m…

Gray rocking for over a year has made me see how really crazy he is — I still have to stay in touch with my ex covert narcissist because we have a child together. On my end I keep things extremely civil, I only talk to him about things that I have to talk to him about r…

How to get rid of cuckold thoughts — Embarrassing post, so throwaway account being used. I have OCD with very prominent intrusive thoughts. Recently, my girlfriend of over 3 years just cheated on me (snuck him into her room and had sex).…

Running away from security — Hey everyone. How do you folks settle into dating a secure person? I notice that when I’ve dated an avoidant, I’m all over it, very obsessive and can’t stop thinking of them (that’s the attachment stu…

No I don’t want to be a medical doctor — I am 23 fucking years old, I do not want to be doctor. I NEVER wanted to be a fucking doctor. I am so sick of this. I feel like a failure. I applied to grad school for 2 years in a row and I haven’t g…

OKAY LISTEN Y'ALL. — I don't know which tag this would come under but I just have to say this because the amount of 'im gonna give up' , 'its not working' ' what am I doing wrong' posts am seeing is insaneee. First of all…

UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…

I (28F) care deeply about my fiancé (28M) but feel like the romantic connection has faded after years of imbalance. How do you know when it’s truly over? — From a burner account. I’m looking for some perspective because I feel like I’m at the end of a long internal process and I don’t know if I’m being unfair or if this is just the reality of where my re…

I hate everything — I got threatened with marriage because I seemed like I gained weight through video call. And because I had the audacity to wake up late. And my brother is a piece of shit that sees nothing wrong ever …

Healing from perfectionism taught me that I’m not superhuman — I’m just a regular person and everyone else is just as ordinary as me. Sure, we all have our quirks and differences but you’re never the only one with them or unique. I am not loved based on my achie…

27F discouraged by low income 27M — Hear me out I know that sounds harsh. We are married with 2 kids and have been together since we were 18. We both work full time plus I have a successful side hustle. I just crunched the numbers and f…

Knowing that there's a physical reason for the confusion and lack of awareness makes it easier to accept. One feels like an outsider; the people around you seem to know how to be with each other. An…

I’ve read all Nevilles books several times over, but I’ll check out the lecture you’re referring to. About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought…

>About my successes, I manifested more money than I had ever seen before. Prior to that, I thought I’d always be broke. I even had to take a screenshot of my bank balance to remind myself of that amaz…

This was so helpful to me. I’d be interested to learn more about the potential effects of a parent who was always physically present, but whose emotional availability varied to extremes for the first …

Im struggling so hard with moving on, even though it wasnt my fault that we broke up. It feels awful

I guess it's not 100 percent my fault I'm so shit at life

If you can't count on someone, then a secure person accepts it and moves on. If you're both at fault and want to reconcile, you reach out and have a talk and see if you're both willing to work on thin…

I broke up but she didn't want to get back. It's my fault but she wasn't a Saint either. Immaturity on both ends. I have paid for my mistakes in heartache and tears. I hope you get the person who ch…

Hi! So one thing I can tell you from lots of therapy and recently spending time around her is I realized I had been only remembering her good qualities and putting her on a pedestal in my mind. When w…

Thank you for sharing. I get this too, and until I read your comment I didn't understand why I was so upset over the "secretive" accusations...they don't even ask about the small things, so of course …

Just believing is one thing, subconscious faith towards your desire (not LOB particularly) is another thing. You lived your entire life based of your default beliefs without even knowing the Law. I sa…

No, mental thoughts do not become physical reality. That would be a world of chaos. *Repetitive* mental thoughts become beliefs, and beliefs do. And this can be layered. You can wake up and have a t…

I don't understand this. How can you decide to get better if you don't admit your faults in the first place?

Fair question - the way I see it, victim blaming = "this is actually your fault" but victim mentality = "the way you are approaching this/life is hurting you/holding you back" ~~~as long as the commen…

Yes, that's precisely my message! And that's why I started treating myself for my issues so aggressively since my late teens (now mid/late 20s). I didn't want to keep passing on the cycle, and this go…

It's not relevant what anyone is telling avoidants if you're not an avoidant... to think it is is slipping back into this competitive mentality where you're dissecting whose fault it is. It doesn't ma…

I respect how politely you've addressed this. But please see the other perspective too: 1. Most people are told by their avoidantly attached partner that they're clingy when they're just trying to n…

Yes this is my default mode. I need calm after engagement. Relaxation after stimulation. To unwind / recharge. The best thing an AP person can do is realise that other attachment styles don't need to…

It's nor your fault whatever you've been through, but reprogramming yourself is your responsibility! You are a shining light and I can't imagine how hard it is, but we'll done for starting the proces…

I think what others are saying unless someone says I hate you, then it's based on your feelings. Feelings are 100% valid but not facts. I'm anxiously attached and felt many people have disliked me ov…

You are correct. Your perception of love is warped. And thus it can be really hard finding it without accidentally finding yourself in shit relationships. As many have commented, avoidants typically …

People say they don’t hate, but from my understanding some of them fault-find in order to deactivate? Sure it’s not as strong as ‘hate’ by any means, but it seems pretty… negative?

Yeah. He realized it was too much for him and just dipped. I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault at all, but I wouldn’t commit myself to someone I only hung out with for a week in person. I literally bl…

Oh believe me, I spend a lot of time talking to them. They only answer rarely. My latest thing is to take each part and work to understand wehre it's coming from, what it's movtivations are, how it …

Hmm. My experience so far is that I will use different attachment styles depending on circumstance. Most people I think have a default, e.g. A person who comes from a secure background will be willi…

No, my statement has nothing to do with validation. I find when someone says 'that's invalidating', they haven't sat down and thought about what they're saying. And why would I need to constantly vali…

Ran into a good defn: Your attachment style is the default mode of operation when a relationship is under stress.

> Question: Does Symfony block concurrent requests by design No. PHP applications run concurrently on each child process of the php-fpm interpreter, starting with a request and ending with it - unles…

Yes, 4tb of metrics Prometheus can eat like peanuts, if you need fault tolerance,better look into Thanos or Mimir, vanilla Prometheus can handle it too, but it will be more manual work. Dashboards can…

Bare metal doesn't mean running the whole cluster on a single server, that wouldn't be fault tolerant. Generally you'll see it used to distinguish from running in the cloud (i.e. on premises). A more …

Bare metal refers to the layer below a hypervisor. Eg directly on a physical server. Useful for situations where you want to dedicate a piece of hardware to a task (usually super high performance data…

Yep, Redshift observability is one of those things that should be easier, but ends up buried in system tables and tribal knowledge. Some practical tips that might help: 1. Build a lightweight monito…

As an outsider it’s really not clear who or what is going wrong here… have priorities been made clear? have deadlines been agreed upon and then violated without explanation? are they a mature member o…

Welcome to /r/Entrepreneur and thank you for the post, /u/Aggravating_Fault_22! Please make sure you read our [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Entrepreneur/about/rules/) before participating…

Secure here. I still do learn and learn to accept that a lot of people cant express themself and selfreflect. Long distance friend of mine and, probably DA, got into arguments with me via whatsapp. …

This is beautiful to read. You describe it so well, what it is to heal this stuff. It doesn’t actually go away, we just learn how to navigate the default urges better. Glad for you that you’ve done …

Sorry if this is not the applause you may have expected; but to me a translation of your title is "Turns out DAs are DAs, and we need to bend over backwards to "make it work" with them, and that's ext…

100% agree. Having recently come out of a situationship with an avoidant, my main personal takeaways are: 1) ask them about past partners/relationships. Usually they have a string of them, and they al…

Avoidants can also be extremely resentful though? Which is common for people who don’t communicate well. Plus, If they’re on a fault-finding trip or a phase where they have one foot out the door, it’s…

My ex showed up as secure and available. He did all the right things up until literally hours before the abrupt ending. Then he unleashed the barrage of issues and fault finding on me. I was completel…

I’m not secure, but I’m working on it, and it was not entirely their fault.

I was in a similar position, ruminating for more than a year excessively about a relatively short relationship, feeling guilty about not being understanding and patient enough. And that’s the point I …

I think it’s particularly harmful to people who identify as AP because there is this tendency to find fault within. The people pleasing is so strong that I feel it does more harm than good.

I say this with kindness because reading through your posts, you remind me of me from 5-6 years ago. I think your feeling of shame is clouding your judgement a bit here. It sounds like you were just i…

Congratulations on holding firm and not over-extending yourself! I know how hard it can be to not do that. In fact I've never really been able to prevent myself doing that. You have won a major victo…

It isn’t. Avoidance, more so than AA, is deeply unconscious. Consciously, we want to show up for our partners and to be vulnerable, which makes it difficult to recognize the fact that we are distancin…

I definitely agree with this, however, as an AA it is useful to know about how FAs and DAs react and how to interact with them. This is for two reasons: first, no matter what I know in theory, as an A…

I am highly skeptical of people online armchair diagnosing anyone as a narcissist. 9/10 it just means "person that hurt me". It seems to be a way to write someone off and never have to understand thei…

This!  My ex was seemingly amazingly secure, caring and nice for half a year. Yeah there were minor red flags bit really minor, still would classify that as "almost secure". But after the first confli…

This definitely feels familiar from times in my past as well. The problem is, when we are so inward looking, and introspective about things, while that carries some really strong benefits, it can also…