Grace

I have the deep sense to get away from my family. — Do people have this deep sense to get away from their family? Like I don't know how to unpack my feelings in general but I feel like my immediate family is another compartment of my life that I can't …

REMINDER: be kind to yourself. This is hard, and you’re handling it with grace and strength. — I know of what I speak. I held so much guilt, sadness, anger, and regret for so long. I hated myself for failing to make my marriage work. That mindset was getting me nowhere good. Do the little thing…

The "and" theory... — I saw this a few days ago and started to implement it, I can't tell you how much it has allowed me to have more compassion for myself, create a clearer head and process my emotions. The and theory is…

My co-founder decided to quit: I'm stuck and could really use some advice | I will not promote — Hey All, A few months ago, I shared my story here (original Reddit post in comments) about starting an IT consultancy business in the Netherlands with a friend right after graduation. At that time, w…

No conversions at all. What am I doing wrong? — Please critique my shop, [redacted]. What puts you off? Why are people not buying anything even after clicking an ad that shows the product, presumably indicating they're at least somewhat interested?…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …

Today marks 6 months since we last saw and spoke to each other — As the person on the receiving end of testing behaviors, ghosting, and a discard, I would love to hear that my former flame is doing well or even an apology. We have known each other for almost…

Former Youtube Star Jessalyn Grace Describes Abuse and Exploitation by Her Mother

I (28F) had an affair and don’t know what I’m doing. Please help. — I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. He is genuinely the best person I know. Kind, safe, loyal. He’s my best friend. When I cry, he’s who I want holding me. When something funny happe…

One month into Venus MD after quite tough Ketu MD…..I feel more down and burdened by life events….9th Venus, Kala purush… — I wasn’t expecting sudden changes as soon as Venus dasha started, still I didn’t think I’d feel so so so pathetic after Venus period set in….nothing seems fine, maybe worse… My Venus is in 9th house …

Getting married soon help me pls — We met in high school and I have spent my entire adult life loving her. I’ve (30m) moved across the country for her (28f) career 4 times, leaving all my friends and family behind. I’ve worked 60-70 ho…

THINGS TOXIC "SHIFTERS" SAY/DO (they are more normalized than you think) — Soo days back I made a post voicing frustrations about my shifting experience and mentioning a few a of my roadblocks. Two days ago I shifted successfully to the Odyssey and when I came back to my cr…

Art and study of the Gateway tapes and general connection to the Universe (with my own experimentation) — \- I WILL BE UPDATING THIS POST EVERYDAY. LINKS WILL BE AT THE BOTTOM OF POST WITH LOG NUMBERS AND DATES - 🌠 Log. 00 \[Tuesday, March 24th, 2026\] So far, I’ve been repeating the same first 3 tape…

Anybody stuck with a life of blue collar type jobs? — The gist of it is that in the last year or so i was heavily affected by mental symptoms and mental health. Now, im currently on medications that dampen brain activity and basically make me dumb, to wh…

I got my psych report back today, and it’s damning. — Hello everyone after a few months of intense therapy including EMDR, I got my psych report back today and truthfully, it made me cry. It was 8 pages long of just the most negative stuff anyone would w…

How do you hold space for, not necessarily judgment, but rather accountability and ultimately grace and growth for the dark side of codependency and insecure attachment styles — A recent poster who shared a story about his coworker got me really thinking about one of the standard FA rituals, and probably the cruelest FA rituals. We can be such experts on lulling people into…

I (f 22) tested positive for an std after years of being clean and consistent testing and my bf (m 24) of 2 years says it’s “impossible” it’s because of him despite not being tested for 5 years and now we’re not okay. — \*\*\*UPDATE\*\*\* After a long 3 days my results came back and they were all negative. I, of course, told my boyfriend and he was relived much like I was. He was supportive of me and he apologized …

When a family’s shame helps hide a geopolitical secret - Hankyoreh interview with Grace M. Cho

I know that I'm better off, but it still hurts. — I'm on day four after being broken up with by my avoidant partner of three years. He broke up with me last year and we ended up getting back together... Last time, I was willing to do anything to be w…

Just trying to gain closure on my own... — This is something I wrote in my journal, trying to process emotions and gain closure. Lori, Since you would not give me the opportunity for closure, I'm going to do what I can to get it here. This…

We broke up and it’s my fault — Hello! My partner and I split up and it was all my fault. I regret every bit of it but accept all responsibility. i totally deserved to get dumped and i’ve accepted that we won’t get back together. …

Married almost 10 years — me( m36) wife (f43) looking for advice in what to do. following my mother-in-law's passing last year, ( she passed away in our house) I shut down for a couple months. I didn't know what to do or say…

Some supportive words to all you going through this. — just as the title says, I wanted to share something with you all. A bit of trauma dumping. If you’d like to know how I was feeling a few weeks ago, you can look at my profile for my most recent post…

It’s finally over — I’m sitting at a closed bar at 10am with a beer in my hand both celebrating and grieving at the same time. I (26m) spent two years with a woman (24f) I thought was the love of my life. Everything abo…

the veil dropped — So, I am in a new layer of integrating my dimi break through (3 months ago), and the experiences and lessons (hell) I had are revealing themselves to me in new ways, expansive ways, however there is e…

Asian Representation In My Latest Broadway Hyperfixation: “&Juliet” — This show has been my new musical theatre hyperfixation for quite some time now and I wanted to go and compile a list of publicly documented Asian actors, both principal and covers, who have been cast…

How do I (35F) handle my soon-to-be-ex-husband (38M) asking me to change my name back? — Throwaway. Not to be dramatic but last year was the worst year of my life. I got unexpectedly laid off from my job of 8 years in June, and immediately things with my husband of 6 years / partner of 1…

FUCK THEM!!!!! — They made me feel so shameful, guilty, sad, terrified and hopeless that I wanted to die. But I had to repress those feelings so I could survive my horrific childhood. And now I have suicidal feeling…

It’s Been A Year… So Here’s My Last Post — Well, tonight makes it official. It has been a full year since I was dumped. Whoever said you lose track of time when you’re having fun is a liar. You REALLY lose track of time when you’re miserable a…

I've learned that my sister isn't a safe person to talk to about how our dad treated me growing up, and it's really upsetting. — I don't know if this is the right place for this, but here goes. Warning: I do talk about homophobia from a parent. I was talking to my sister today about how our parents treated us. She brought up …

My ex (30F) and I (30nb) broke up 6 months ago and I want to vent about it — After dating for almost 2 years and living together for 6 months my ex broke it off and I had to move out. I am a trans nonbinary person (AFAB) and the day we met my ex knew I would be pursuing gender…

I finally drew the line — My story is your story, my pain, the same as yours. We all committed, believing that all humans essentially see each other as valuable only to be shown multiple times per day, that in fact some humans…

Anyone else middle-aged (40+) with nothing to show for these bygone decades but survival? — I’ve been white-knuckling it for decades, and I’ve survived…sort of. …If we’re using the term loosely. I haven’t been jailed. Occasionally I even drag a mop around or wash my hair. So, great, I’ve “su…

How to use traditional astrology — Hi everyone, I know this might sound like a strange question, but I’m confused about how to use traditional astrology when reading a natal chart. In modern astrology, each planet is connected to psyc…

How to say hi to girl in the park? 39M — At my big age (39M), I should be able to go up and just say "hello" to someone, but this is a little bit more nuanced. A few years ago (around 2-3), when I was still on dating apps, this woman would…

Blah — Panorama Marble. I don't know why this stuck with me. I've done a lot of out of character things since the breakup. I bought a basketball, I went barhopping, I avoid LA like the plague now, and Ive …

Welcome! Read Me First. — # Welcome to r/Stoicism. This community exists for serious discussion of Stoic philosophy. It is not a forum for general self-help, motivation, validation, or professional therapy. It is also not a p…

Discipline — I have been struggling to meditate. I lowered the bar for myself, so I can be compassionate rather than frustrated and annoyed. I am doing very short meditation intervals, because that is what I can d…

UPDATE - I 29F told my partner 35M I'm done, but he won't return my messages or my plants, what can I do? — My original post - https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/s/3yKNYfIhxW I HAVE MY PLANT BABIES! It felt like an impossible task, but I have my plants back. I don't think anyone is still follow…

Meeting people IRL is no different than the apps. It’s us. We’re the problem. — I’ve since discarded the apps as sort of an experiment. Many people blame apps for the perceived negatives in dating. I’ve never agreed with this conventional grain of thought. I think we’ve changed. …

Praised as "gifted" — TL;DR: Did you recieve praise as a "gifted" child? Did your family never encourage effort and only praised results? As an adult, because of this, do you now find doing the things you were praised for …

Something I shouldve said, and now I cant go back. — I think i should've asked for a break instead of kicking you out and breaking up with you. I didnt want to hurt you, I really wanted to fix things, I shouldve said what I wanted instead of following s…

AI is your friend. — I am an expat in a foreign land, and fell in love with a delightful woman here. The first month was glorious and beautiful, but soon after she began exhibiting many of these traits (before I even knew…

By God’s grace, I’m free 🎉 — After a long and painful journey through abuse, the Lord has brought me through. I’m officially divorced and stepping into freedom, peace, and healing.

From when I was younger, my mother ruined my life and turned my into an ungrateful bastard. — ​ the peak of everything is my mother, where she has always been the one trying to hold everything together, (and didnt accomplish. So, its all her fault.) She works at a shoe store. From whe…

Remember this! — Hey folks, happy easter! I sincerely hope you all have an amazing day and wanted to drop a little reminder: It's not what you see that matters, it's about who you are being! Who you are being changes …

Struggle with autistic friend — I’m really struggling with feeling triggered by an autistic friend. She’s a friend of a friend but is really nice and we have lots in common. However because of her autism she’s been straight forwar…

Self love through cooking date-night meals for myself has helped me immensely — Generally, I used to really detest myself, however things have slowly been getting better with therapy and separation from the main source of discord in my life. I say discord, but really my love is p…

Rekindling Relationships — Partner of loving four years called and wanted to go on a break/breakup very recently over distance, and needed space to find ourselves again. My mental health was at its worst this year, and did weig…

My long distance bf [21M] hid a pretty significant thing from me[21F] for months. — Please help with your (hopefully older and wiser) advice. Context: We are both each other’s first love. My boyfriend has never been serious/exclusive/talking with anyone before me, much less in a rel…

Am I handling it with grace or strength, though? I'm completely torn apart and can hardly eat. I have to force myself to. The one thing I'm proud of is minimizing how much anger I feel over the betra…

So I just wrote a comment today on another post that might help too: You’re being too hard on yourself. Your divorce is completely fresh and you need to give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel…

I am 5 months out from my divorce, and I can only handle it day by day. I try to give myself the same grace I would give others. Some days are easier than others. I try to stick to a routine. Oddly, e…

I agree! But in the depths of a break up when thoughts can be all consuming and you can't see the end of the road, understanding you can hold 2 opposing views and give yourself the grace around that, …

There are so many Taylor Swift songs that I relate to Attachment theory. The Bolter is clearly about an avoidant woman. Quite a few of the tracks on Tortured Poets are about exes that seem highly avoi…

My mistake. I must have misunderstood that. I’m sorry. I still stand by my comment- you can’t always spot an avoidant. The walls they build to ice us out are not “up” until something triggers them. M…

“It shifts your worldview to think that some people can love and care about you, but still fee nothing about hurting you.” WOW wow wow. I’m going thru this with someone I believed to be chosen family…

I see what you mean there but tbh your examples are actually stuff that everyone should know to not do lol they are universal unless someone doesnt know about basic decency. The things I was talking…

I was in a similar position, ruminating for more than a year excessively about a relatively short relationship, feeling guilty about not being understanding and patient enough. And that’s the point I …

In my personal experience, it’s more a gesture or a declaration of deep feelings rather than any admission of guilt or remorse. I’ve personally never had someone with an avoidant attachment style actu…

Orrrrrrrr.... In the early thaw of spring, when frost still clung stubbornly to the edges of the earth, the apology remained unsent. It lingered like a letter never mailed. Its seal unbroken, its tru…

I say this with kindness because reading through your posts, you remind me of me from 5-6 years ago. I think your feeling of shame is clouding your judgement a bit here. It sounds like you were just i…

>The no contact has been brutal. As if none of it meant anything. Especially when all you hear is so much “if they wanted to they would” and “they always come back” rhetoric. For me it was confusing a…

I mean it can be tough especially when you are talking about money. Money is always in your face. We deal with it daily. A few things work for me. 1. I revisit things I manifested and think about ho…

The learning that has made progress possible is also one of the hardest parts of this journey for me. As I work to heal my abandonment wounds and anxious attachment, I also find myself understanding t…

Yes, I edited, and yes, my comment contains some judgement (besides mostly description and perception, ie. judgement-free language). Non-violent, 100% judgemental-free Rosenberg communication, to me…

I am feeling lonely. Like I am not a priority to my partner. Yet? Or any more? Who knows? I know this is mostly her communication style over text/online. But in the beginning, we would call every da…

Its not up to you to navigate someone else's mind.  If you want to be secure, you have to show up as your best self.  If that brings out the worst in someone then you should be thankful and move o…

I am working on these things the same as you are and I am 8 years older than you so I think it’s amazing you’re this aware at 26. Some things that have helped me in my journey: -keeping myself busy w…

I totally get it. I was usually the one to process his emotions and fix things when the relationship crumbled because of his doubts. This time, I am not around to do that for him, he has imposed 'No C…

Everyone needs their own way to process arguing. Some like confrontation, others run from it. How bad was the fight? Did you say hurtful things you can't take back? Instead of focusing on how he is he…

Be aware that the process of healing your attachment type is long and very uncomfortable, but knowing you're insecure is the best and hardest step so kudos! What helps me on a day to day case is try…

This doesn’t sound healthy in the least. I think you need to go no contact with this person and work on viewing others with more grace, and build a sense of what healthy relationships look like.

Thank you! He is the amazing one! He is so steady and so loving. I can't begin to explain how much he does for me. Our marriage is very happy; we communicate very openly and we both give each other a …

Give yourself some grace, healing is not linear ❤️

This is such an honest and important realization... and honestly, something a lot of people don’t talk about enough when it comes to healing attachment wounds. When you start working on yourself, espe…

The first thing that comes to mind for me is DBT skills, specifically opposite action in the context of understanding the DBT model of emotions. Opposite action is a skill where you say to yourself "…

i wouldn’t consider it splitting, but yes to a certain extent. like you said i get triggered which causes emotional dysregulation, especially in response to feeling disrespected, rejected, or betrayed…

I am earned secure. When I found attachment-styles, I was already on the healing journey, so I cannot say with accuracy what my untreated and unconscious attachment style was; probably FA leaning DA. …

I feel this. I’m in my first relationship after five years of being single, and we’ve only been dating about five months. I’m definitely no expert here, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I turne…

My partner just shuts down and completely detaches so much so that he has ended the relationship once and doesn’t seem to have the capacity to communicate. The first time it was after we went abroad a…

I always cringe at the comment section of all the attachment videos because I know it’s going to be nothing but comments about how shitty we are at doing anything. Communicating. Listening. Supporting…

> just because they didn't *mean* harm, then harm can't exist They are very one-sided about it, though. If someone does something that results in *them* feeling distress, that person is being abusive…

Yeahhh I’m trying my best to give her grace and be more patient because I know that I tend to let my anxiety make me act in ways that aren’t exactly rational at times… but I think my feelings are vali…

Yes, I really sympathize with that struggle and think it's great that you're recognizing it as a problem that will keep you trauma bonded, and that you're figuring out ways to heal this. My last break…

the person im dating seems to be avoidant. we have a history that kinda complicates things. we were casually seeing each other like 6 months ago but i ended things because i caught feelings and they c…

You’re overthinking this. You don’t need pre-existing plans to make a graceful exit. Just say you have to go

One hour is good enough for something you don't see going further. I think we owe people some grace and we can have a decent friendly conversation even if nothing is going to come out of it. After tha…

I think you are giving her a lot of grace for that comment and taking a lot of responsibility when she is the one who brought up exes first.

You were reading into 'signs' like twirling her hair, etc. No matter what other people say, you should not think someone is interested in you unless they explicitly say so. You asked her several times…

👋🏾 Lesbian avoidant here as well. Therapy has helped me ALOT. My Therapist explained that I have to understand that there are probably things that people don't particularly like about me but the…

I had a think about it today and it bothers me but I decided I don't want it to bother me, so I'm not going to say anything. He is going through some stress atm and I can allow him some grace. Glad y…

Good on you for asking and taking her answer with such grace. So many people struggle with talking to people they’re attracted to, let alone asking for their number or to take them out so you’re way…

I grew up under almost the same conditioning. It took therapy for me to realize something unsettling: for years, I was missing entire chances to feel like myself. Somewhere along the way, I learned h…

I havent felt this in years (so I promise it gets better with time and trust) but when I really struggled with it, I would give myself a reasonable window where I said I wouldnt allow myself to worry.…

Exactly! I’m too big on ‘you never know what someone is going through’ or ‘they’re human, what if the roles were reversed?’ But that just leaves me giving too much empathy and grace with nothing to sh…

Sorry for the double post, but I’m feeling insightful. I have been through so much at my age in the past 6 months, and I hope that no one here or that I know IRL has to endure it. It has however m…

You are in an extreme amount of pain right now. So, you are thinking in extremes. You tried to make something work and it did not. At least now you know. You also know that you are capable of feeling …

It's ok! Just give yourself some grace, it takes time and that's ok! 💕

Jeeez yeah the moment I was talking about it was pure foot in mouth/oversharing/over explaining and for a moment she was staring at me like 😐 and I had to stop myself. Biggest face palm moment and…