Forgive

I have the deep sense to get away from my family. — Do people have this deep sense to get away from their family? Like I don't know how to unpack my feelings in general but I feel like my immediate family is another compartment of my life that I can't …

After raising for 7 startups, my pitch decks have fallen into three categories (I will not promote) — Over the years, I've raised funding for 7 startups. I've also raised for startup funds and stare at a hundred pitch decks a month. Based on the patterns, I've realized my pitch decks have fallen into …

I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …

Mostly healed, but I can’t stop walking on eggshells before I trust a new date (anxious-ambivalent) — Edit: I’m single but I’ve dated guys online. I’ve changed almost all of my symtoms from anxious-ambivalent to secure attachment. When I first start text someone romantically however, it’s all good un…

Does the dumper ever reach out? — Almost a year of no contact with my ex, our mutual friends said she has been craving forgiveness from me, but she hasn't reached out. I have a new life so I don't need it, but its really weird for t…

„Did you forgive them yet?“ — I stood my ground and said NO. — I opened up about my abuse to a 'spiritual friend'. His first question was: „Have you managed to forgive them yet?“ I said NO. And it's NOT my duty to forgive. He said „But forgiveness causes healin…

AM silent treatment is HELL — For context- two days ago AM asked me (19F) and my sister (17F) why our cousin and our close friends are scared or intimidated by her. We started making fun of her for the things she used to do or say…

Why do most victims survive the harm, while perpetrators can’t cope with a slither of accountability? — Victims live with the pain. The fear. The long-term fallout. Not being believed. No justice, or having to fight for it. Being made the aggressor through DARVO. The loss of safety. The way it rewires y…

Where to go from here — Just to warn you, this is a long one... For context, my partner (F39) and I (M40) have been together for 17 years, have two kids together. This all started in early January but seems to have been goi…

No contact year 6 update: — Hello everyone! I’ve made some update posts in the past and figured I would make one for year 6 as that anniversary is coming up soon, and with context it will make sense why I still specifically reme…

You’re Allowed to Forgive Yourself — That’s it. You aren’t the same person anymore and that’s huge. It’s amazing that you want to change (and already have!). I love you :) I’m with you on this journey.

More insight into my Gemini Saturn in the 12th. How can I balance it? 23F — I’ve recently gotten some good advice regarding my chart and 12h stellium. I’m someone who has struggled with isolation, stagnation, and substance abuse (heavily, but easing up recently) and I’m tryin…

My (F28) partner (M28) gave me an ultimatum: him or my birds. Idk what to do — Hi everyone, I could really use some outside perspective. I (F28) have been in a relationship with my partner (M28) for about 3 years. I love him a lot and I genuinely imagined a future with him. We …

Self scrying on Ketamine — Are there any others out there who use ketamine alone, lay still and let the open eye visions overwhelm you till you get in touch with your deeper self ? After a couple of lines over time to get to a …

How do I control my anger and my lack of patience in my relationship? — I’ve been with my husband going on a year and a half. He’s a wonderful man and our relationship is overall healthy. But I fear I am becoming emotionally abusive towards him. I’ve been in bad relations…

I hate narcissists! — I tried so hard to forgive. I even made a comment here months ago about forgiveness. I was trying to delude myself. Narcissists deserve to rot and burn in the lowest depths of hell there is. How can y…

Ex reaching out after 10 years — Hi everyone, my ex reached out to me after 10 years. This was a tumultuous high school relationship that gave me the blueprint for the life I’m living now. The heartbreak was so intense I went on a so…

She snuck out with a "friend" while we were at a party — Hello everyone, this is all still very new since I just founf out about everything 3 days ago. I (24M) am in deep intense pain in knowing that my girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me at least 4 times …

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

How can I forgive myself for the abuse I committed towards my father? — For twenty years from the time I was about two years old to 22 years old until my father died from health issues in 2018, I was always my father's number one priority. He always took care of me and ga…

I (29F) have cancer and my estranged father (60M) is funding my treatment but forcing me to leave my boyfriend (24M) or marry him immediately. Do I have any way out? — Please be kind. I was unable to type so used audio to text converter and ai to fix the spelling mistakes. I m already in a terrible mental state so hope this sub can be a little gentle on me. Haven't …

People underestimate the power of connections that were formed during childhoood — And I dont mean positive connections only. Negative connections also seem to stick around till we die. And since our parents chose to form negative bonds with us, unfortunely that is what lasts up…

Today was the worst day of my life — I am beyond heartbroken writing this. Need any help, advice, anything because this has crushed my soul. Today I found out my (M29) girlfriend (F24) of 4 years cheated on me 3 months ago during a gir…

My mom who disowned my for being gay is ready to forgive me, oh and for me to financially support her and my dad after he retires of course. — I don’t speak to any of my family anymore because they disowned me for being gay after i was outed. It hurt at the time but honestly the more time i spent away from them the more i realized how awful …

My (19F) Boyfriend (18M) Called Me His Managers Name During Sex — UPDATE: wow I really did not expect this post the get the traction it did. thank you guys so much for the kindness you have shown and a lot of you guys gave some really good advice. the first thing I'…

I (30F) suspect my mom (58F) may have taken money and my deceased grandmother’s earrings while I was away. I have no proof and it still bothers me years later, how do I move forward? — I’m 30F and my mom is 58F. I currently have very minimal contact with her due to a number of issues in our relationship. I haven’t blocked her, but I don’t engage much beyond unavoidable family events…

Still hurts after many, many years — My wife and I have been married for 35+ years. Prior to getting engaged we dated seriously for nearly 5 years. Throughout our dating relationship, things always went well and I thought she was the per…

why go back to an ex — maybe a sign that i’ve healed or am healing, but the idea of going back to someone who decided that their life would be better without you or thought that they could do better than you is insane to me…

A couple great tips for easier Revision. — Revision is an extremely important yet underrated technique. After going through an event that "future" manifesting just wouldn't solve, I knew the only thing that would fix this situation is to chang…

UPDATE: I thought my marriage just felt loveless…turns out there was a reason — Original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/9esS6gNKMJ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/s/9esS6gNKMJ) Hi everyone, I posted a while ago saying that my marriage felt empty and loveless, but th…

I'm a rotten abuser and I can't forgive myself for it and I don't feel that I should. — I 30F am an abuser who has ruined my husband just because I can't accept being loved. yesterday I told him that I hope one day he gets the self esteem to leave me, and he responded that he hopes one d…

How do I (39F) forgive my husband (39M) for making a fake vet appt for our senior dog? — My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 4, and have 2 kids with another on the way. We have also been best friends since we were in middle school up until we started dating. A …

My (M19) Gf (F19) constantly asks for details on me being raped because she "can't wrap her head around it", is this worth it? — Me and my gf (both 19) have been dating for 2 years. 4 or 5 months before we started I was raped by an older woman. She tried to play being my friend and it just happened. I have never told anyone ab…

Idk how to process this plz help — I’ve gone literally my whole life without having any family members pass away and all of a sudden in the last 4 months, half my family has either passed away or is on the verge of passing. My grandpa …

I told my mom my deepest darkest secrets and now the whole family knows — My dad strangled me and for years I tried talking to her about the pain and she ignored me over and over telling me to forgive and forget. I begged her to read about trauma and she ignored me even mor…

Stoicism and advice regarding isolation? — Because of life situations outside of my control, I have dealt with a lot of grief and pain regarding all relationships. I am essentially alone and after the grief and pain of betrayal and abandonment…

I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …

Struggling to redirect my impulsive co-dependent decisions — I am unfortunately dealing with a best friend break up, it's been nearly 2 months and I am still struggling to not give in to some of my co-dependent thoughts and decisions. i have been doing a ton o…

A lot of parents give their children mental disorders then pretend as if it's the child's fault. — I side eye every parent who has children with mental health issues. The likelihood that it was given to them by the parent is extremely fucking high. Case in point, I got harmed and abused a lot by m…

A lot of parents give their children mental disorders then pretend as if it's the child's fault. — I side eye every parent who has children with mental health issues. The likelihood that it was given to them by the parent is extremely fucking high. Case in point, I got harmed and abused a lot by m…

A lot of parents give their children mental disorders then pretend as if it's the child's fault. — I side eye every parent who has children with mental health issues. The likelihood that it was given to them by the parent is extremely fucking high. Case in point, I got harmed and abused a lot by m…

"Men Can't Be Men Anymore" — A week ago, I [posted about the Louis Theroux documentary on the “Manosphere,”](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/1rtveyg/the_manosphere/) noting my surprise at the scale of the phenomenon, u…

Met my ex after a year apart. It was the best day since our breakup. Here's what happend. — A year ago, I said goodbye to someone I truly loved. A year and a half together, big plans, intense love. The breakup was painful and messy. For a year I processed it, analyzed it, doubted myself. Ev…

My wife left a year ago — My wife left a year ago I got divorced about six months ago. We were together for eight years and married for four. She cheated last year. It wasn’t anything dramatic. One random day, borrowed her l…

My wife left a year ago — I got divorced about six months ago. We were together for eight years and married for four. She cheated last year. It wasn’t anything dramatic. One random day, borrowed her laptop since my office one…

the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…

A letter I wrote to myself. — Background. 20 years together. 16 married. She cheated multiple times. Found out about the first ones three years ago. Tried to forgive. She did it again. I left. Letter I wrote to myself …

How do I F21 fix my relationship with my F21 twin sister after her M22 fiancée SA’d me? — I don’t really know how to do this I apologize in advance. A bit of back ground. I am a F21. My twin sister obviously the same age. We both live with our parents. She has been seeing this guy M22 for …

Immense anger after being cheated on.. 8 year relationship. — 8 year relationship down the drain.. I met her when I was 23m.. She BEGGED ME to take her serious. I took road trips frequently for work during that time and she felt like I didn’t spend enough time w…

Single and celibate for 7 years -- how can I show a man I'm into him? — Hi all, I'm 41F and have chosen to stay single now for 7 years. I went through a bad breakup, then the pandemic happened, then I got into 12 Step recovery (not for drugs or alcohol, for family issue s…

The most important part of EVERYONE IS YOU PUSHED OUT (EIYPO) — I think that what I will say in the following lines has to be reminded as much as possible in the manifesting exes and partners communities. Manifesting a person is not only easy, it is effortle…

Hello I just had the weirdest dream and I don't know how to look up my specific type of dream and was so shocked I decided to come here and write. I remember going to sleep around 12:30pm after wakin…

Forgive yourself. Forgive her. Treat yourself and your 6 y/o to therapy. You deserve happiness.

What if I ruined the chance of possibly not getting back together due to me being an emotional abuser??For example, she broke up with me because of unhappiness, goal of finishing her college degree, a…

I am new to Reddit as of today, so forgive my lack of knowledge if this is the wrong place to ask this! Also I’m new in the AP world, but I have an open mind! I’m going to start going through some of…

Yeah, it's fucking hard. I don't think I'll ever get closure because she's never been the sort of person to really make an effort to give that to me. I obviously can't be inside her head and speak for…

Wow I’m so sorry you’re going through this! It’s nuts how common our stories are. I always felt like I was being dragged around by Eric and he could never just tell me “it’ll never work out” Just brea…

I broke up but she didn't want to get back. It's my fault but she wasn't a Saint either. Immaturity on both ends. I have paid for my mistakes in heartache and tears. I hope you get the person who ch…

Forgive my ignorance, but I'm interested as to why this pinned item is tagged as NSFW?

I absolutely agree! For me, this allows me to "forgive" them, but accepting the reality of who they are and what the relationship ultimately was. I was dating potential, rather than what was actuall…

Did you try and address the concerns or did you just "forgive them" until you decided there's one last straw that you may or may not tell them about and bail? If so then that's toxic and unhealthy; I …

The issue is, I hurt him unintentionally by crossing an unspoken boundary..and im left reeling and in pain because he ghosted. I begged for forgiveness..even not fully knowing for what, but he just re…

I think silence can be closure, painful yes, but he's saying ' I don't want to communicate any further' perhaps he thinks it's the kindest thing to do especially if he's very angry. It's incredibly t…

It's happened to me and a friend of mine as well. Once that is done to a DA, we never forgive and we never forget. That person may as well be dead to us for anything other than a polite interaction …

You know avoidant are just people don’t you? A human who has suffered and who, SOMETIMES, reacts a certain way to being triggered. If you don’t want to date someone then don’t but don’t just label eve…

Don't take the bait. Forgive, but don't forget move on.

Honestly, props to him. He took the time to reflect. He wrote an emotional/vulnerable message, which for Avoidants isn't easy, and then he actually sent it. He didn't pressure you, blame you, or do an…

say that you'll forgive all the bills if she mentions your youtube channel on her channel and socials...visibility will be more valuable than cash imo

Yes, I edited, and yes, my comment contains some judgement (besides mostly description and perception, ie. judgement-free language). Non-violent, 100% judgemental-free Rosenberg communication, to me…

Yeah definitely. I think I have a problem with staying for way too long and self abandoning. I also need to work on self soothing, processing, noticing my triggers and self regulating. My endless empa…

Yes, I see that now. Forgive me - this post was like a day or two after he dumped me. 😅

"I do declare, I hath fucked up! Because, you see, needs that did not align with my sense of self or respect for your own were, to me, as hemlock to Socrates. And ye for I am avoidant, 'twas all your …

I'm AP, there is something which helps me detaching (it might be unhealthy though) I basically try to think how wrong other person did to me. Objectively speaking, your friend is at fault here. Confl…

IMHO, the anger might be directed to yourself. You were the fool who fell for it again knowing full well that you shouldn't. Forgive yourself and keep doing the work, we were all fools at some point.…

I had a pretty similar experience and landed in a similar spot that you did, even down to the same number of dates and spiraling when I would run into her afterwards (we work in the same building so i…

I am working on these things the same as you are and I am 8 years older than you so I think it’s amazing you’re this aware at 26. Some things that have helped me in my journey: -keeping myself busy w…

Age will help. I’m 40 now and in a new relationship and see and feel myself doing things so much differently than my last one(s) just because I’m more self-aware. I’m also less petty and more apt to f…

Honestly, I am so grateful for this space- considering it has aided plenty of beings including myself. With most experiences in all that we do, one might not understand or be quick to accept it as the…

Forgive me for being thick, but I think I just became even more confused. I read both posts and just finished reading the link to the post by Marsh273, you shared. I have read quite a few of them in …

Hi, I’m 22F and was in a relationship for over 3 years with an avoidant male. In June, I decided to leave the place we shared together and move home because of his emotional regulation that presented …

So much time has gone by and they abandoned themselves by not addressing the matter and instead probably making narratives in their own head about the whole thing. They sound like they felt slighted b…

Even if you ended on a good note, you should never entertain the idea of having a person who hurt you back in your life. It’s okay that you reached out probably because you told yourself you eventuall…

All you can do now is reflect and learn from it. Explore to find out what your real need was. What were you trying to soothe with reaching out? What is still in need of soothing because it didn’t pl…

It sounds like you have other stuff to process from before she came around. And likely it was a distraction and in turn gave you purpose. It is typical for anxious attachment to try to earn love. Howe…

Text of original post by u/VisibleAnteater1359: I’ve changed almost all of my symtoms from anxious-ambivalent to secure attachment. When I first start text someone romantically however, it’s all good …

I wouldn’t send it. If you’re anything like me it will send you into an anxious shame spiral of overthinking, fretting, and self-doubt. If you’re in the midst of a breakup with some other avoidant the…

Oh, thank you for such clear, coherent feedback. I might write "Stay in the present. Turn inwards to find that validation, comfort, reassurance, strength, and forgiveness within yourself." into my pho…

Don't send it, you don't know where they're at in their life or what they're doing and it could be disruptive or painful.  I've had bad relationships and I don't think I would want a random unexpect…

Hey lovely, I hear you putting ALOT of pressure and shame on yourself. It makes sense that healing anxious attachment comes with a phase of being hyper vigilant of our patterns and seeking to change t…

>*In order to move on, you need to not only stop feeling sorry for yourself,* *but also stop feeling sorry for the world.* *That is forgiveness in its essence.* *To give up a certain lens to see…

How did she apologize and take accountability? In my previous unhealthy relationships my exes would say sorry, but then get angry and sulk. They wouldn't let me talk about it until I actually felt be…

I think about them often and how I feel depends on the person. The one I regret the most: I feel like he showed me more love than anyone I've known so far and I wish I hadn't hurt him. He told me he…

What exactly do you hope to get out of it? Are you only doing that to make yourself feel better? I think you are free to forgive yourself for prior actions and let it go. For all you know it is in the…

I had not heard that before in therapy, but that is what I have always done in relationships, romantic or not. I give up all my wants and needs just to feel secure and loved. I did overlook her situat…

Yes it is a long and difficult process. I'm sorry you have to go through it :( I will still maintain that by pausing your present and focusing on if she is going to come back, you have taken the first…

I mean I have forgiven her in the sense that I do hold not hostility towards her, and really hold more sadness that her upbringing caused her to have these tendencies. Although, if we were to ever get…

This might genuinely be terrible advice, so please take it with a grain of salt, but here is a process that has been helping me when my anxiety flares up like that. This might be long, forgive me (ADH…

Yeah I totally hear you on that and how it can all feel disconnected from what we are experiencing here. This also may sound like nonsense to you, I know it did to me until I started practicing it. B…

Very happy to share :) A few years ago I worked with a life coach to work on self-esteem and managing/setting boundaries. I still touch base with her when I need 1:1 support. After the avoidant discar…

It is unfortunate that as we get older we do tend to grow apart from old friends. It is a normal part of life. It still sucks, but it helps to keep the perspective that all people (even secure ones) g…

Hello anxiously attached souls. I have a very difficult time. My anxious attachment is being triggered recently a bit more. I’m dating someone for over 4 months. I’m 35F. I really like them. First two…