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Evidence
Citations (101)
I tried to focus on my self-concept mainly. I kept looping a playlist with songs that uplifted my self-concept. The affirmations stick easier when I can sing along to them. Once my self-concept got b…
Freelancers – the only person that can evaluate your pricing is the buyer (not Reddit) — *(TL;DR at bottom)* Questions like this pop up on this subreddit every few weeks: > How much should I charge for a basic website? Or: > Is $500 for a single-page Figma design a good price? ...and…
From Rejection to Redemption: How I Broke Into DevOps — Guys, I'm here sitting on my back yard on a beautiful Saturday and I am about to sign an offer letter with a Fortune 500 company — with a 25% salary increase. But just a few months ago, I was getting…
I'm lucky enough to have turned my podcast into a full time job - here's what I wish I had known — Hey all! Love this community. I'm really blessed to have turned my podcast into a full time job, getting over 200k downloads across 15 episodes upon launch. I'm working on more seasons, but I have had…
Every day I try to do things right. Every day they say no. Now I duct-tape and maintain the mess I warn them about — Hey folks, Just wanted to drop this little gem of corporate masochism So I work at this company where we develop software for real state agencies, in this 'properties' sql table we have a field cal…
I posted a while ago about being Fearful Avoidant and, since so many people reached out about how to overcome that style, I've decided to compile a sort of list of things that are helping me become more secure — (based on what is working in my life, what I've observed, what i've read, etc. They may not apply to everyone but even if it helps a couple of people I'll be happy) **These are things to practice in …
RSD potential cause of AA? — Hey fellow AA folks, Since discovering attachment theory 2+ years ago, life has improved quite a lot. However, for the sake of anyone else who might be fresh to attachment theory, I want to spare yo…
For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…
It does get better (dumped by an avoidant) (personal advice that helped me) — Too anyone who deems themselves as a hopeless romantic, anxiously attached, etc, this may relate to you. After three months of what I thought was the worst time of my life, it truly gets better. T…
Song banned from Casinos cause 'it makes you win more' — There's a song trending back on TikTok videos and people claim Ring My Bell by Anita Ward is banned in casinos because the frequencies supposedly make slot machines pay out more the story going aroun…
I feel like the only one not trying to permashift. Is anyone else trying to make round trips? — The title pretty much covers my primary inquiry. I don't see a lot of people posting about reality shifting or their goals therein unless it's about permashifting. I'm not shaming anyone for permashif…
Just realized how damaging people pleasing and not being able to say “no” really is — Let me preface this post by saying that I have my own issues with codependency and have spent many years working on it in therapy. I also have issues with saying no, and I completely understand how ha…
Have we reached a tipping point with generational trauma? — So many people are just… so traumatized man. I’ve met way too many people over the years that are obviously stuck in a 4F response. I can’t imagine it was this bad when my parents grew up. Maybe it wa…
Please wish me luck for my interview tomorrow! ✨ — I am going to bed soon and am feeling temporarily super nervous about my interview tomorrow morning. I thought it would be nice to see some good luck messages in the morning! I did this four years ago…
The best and 5 worst things I did after 5 breakups in 12 years chasing unavailable partners, and I just got marriaged on 2.14.2026 — I've been through 5 painful breakups over the last decades, all with the same pattern: I'd chase someone emotionally/physically unavailable—either a cheater or straight-up avoidant—who'd pull away jus…
“EASIEST AP TECHNIQUE IN HISTORY!” (Update) — “History’s simplest projection technique” (Tweaked and updated for better results!) I posted the 30 second head lift technique a few months back and I wanted to update it hopefully to add to y…
Breaks are as important as the attempt - from an experienced shifter ⋆˚꩜.ᐟ — hi gorgeous souls! I have seen some posts about people feeling demotivated after a lot of failed shifting attempts and I wanted to give a bit of advice on how to navigate this as somebody who used t…
Easiest way to Lucid Dream — I’ll keep this short and simple. Stay awake all day. No naps. Do whatever you normally do all day. Do not think about sleep until you are at the point where you’re struggling to keep your eyes open, …
Shifting Storytime is Up! ⋆｡𖦹°‧★ — Hi everyone! In my last post I asked if you guys would be interested in me making a YouTube channel to talk about my experiences with reality shifting and any advice I might have or just general dis…
What does Marcus Aurelius mean by “misfortune” and “good fortune” in Meditations 4.49? — I’m having trouble understanding what Marcus Aurelius means by “good fortune”/"good luck" and "bad luck"/“misfortune” in *Meditations* 4.49. From Robin Waterfield translation: >Be like a headland: th…
the narcissist catchphrase bingo list — edit 1: jesus christ my initial 32 I wrote already look like they arent a lot lmao (the comments in total added 45 UNIQUE PHRASES HOLY JESUS) , okay heres the updated list (most of the updates will be…
Question I would please like answered, if you have a good idea of what I'm asking? Serious — Technically speaking this is a strange sighting. I would really appreciate someone who may give me a proper answer and what it may mean. This is what happened, although condensed, I will stick to the …
Even after all these years this still hurts — I’m 28 now full grown man in great shape going to get married soon to the love of my life. I did eight years in the Marine Corps. deployed three times. Combat zones. Jungles. Desserts. Icy mountains.…
Monthly Meditation Challenge - April 2026 — Hello friends, Ready to make meditation a habit in your life? Or maybe you're looking to start again? Each month, we host a meditation challenge to help you establish or rekindle a consistent medita…
Breakup with fearful avoidant — So I just want to tell my story of how the breakup is and how I assume that the person who broke up with me is fearful avoidant after analysing what happened and what was going on. I want to get some …
nex continually breaking nc — I left my narc ex over 3 months ago now, and despite telling him I do not want any contact he continues to break it. for reference, I moved to a new country while all of this was going down, so thankf…
An open letter to my wife — I want her to know this but I know it wouldn't be healthy so I'm writing it here because if 1 person sees it then maybe I will feel seen. To my 'wife', When we met we were smitten with each other. …
I had my breakup with a perfect closure yesterday. Still I feel terrible — After many weeks (maybe months) of trying to stay together even if as friends, yesterday the only thing I never wanted, happened. Both of us accepted that we can’t be friends, because she said, “we a…
New way to be sad — As title suggests I found a new way on accident to be sad. I have been in my rental house living bare bones since October. Not for lack of funds, but just too sad to move on and decorate and make it…
Why is healing from a discard taking longer than the relationship itself? It was only 2 months — I'm 3 months out from a discard with a suspected covert narcissist, but we only dated for 2 months. Is it normal for it to take longer to get over the discard than the time we dated? It feels kind of …
Reflection on Giving Up Instagram & Tiktok For Lent. — Wasn't sure where to post this, just wanted to share what I observed in myself, and my habits. For some who may not know Lent is a period in the Catholic religion's. It reflects Jesus' 40 days of …
I responded to an ex of mines no contact breach, with a link to Good Luck Babe — So i 18(M) had a 2 year long weird homoerotic friendship with a guy (20M) who had a boyfriend (22M) (i know stupid ofc) but in my defense, he pretty much introduced himself to me as "tortured guy stuc…
Boyfriend m26, has ups and downs emotions, and sometimes unkind to me f25. — My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. Recently its seems he has been getting comfortable to putting me down and switching up with his words. For example, we had a conversation the ot…
For those struggling with no contact but don’t want to block them… — Disclaimer: this is for iPhone When you block someone, they’ll know because their texts won’t be green SMS messages and they won’t be “delivered”. If you don’t want to block but need them out of s…
manifested dream job and internship at ivy league without doing anything — hi guys, just wanted to share my recent manifestations and how i achieved them. **TLDR**: i was depressed, working a minimum wage job, not doing anything conducive to my career, and very lost. in 2-3…
Time is fake; there is nothing but you. — Shifting, dimensional jumping, Neville Goddard, law of assumption/attraction, magick, etc. all essentially talk about the same thing: Embody the person (or entity) you want to be. This post is a bit…
Anyone else's parents threaten to just stop doing things? — No idea if this belongs in this subreddit but here we go. My mother has the habit of, whenever we have an argument (mainly about her religion and me not going to church), she'll talk about the sacr…
First Connection After — Not quite divorced yet, 9 months into a 12 month waiting period, but had my first new emotional connection recently. Man it has fucked me up. While I think I have been ok with the divorce for a while …
I shit on my mom about always only thinking about family face and shes insecure… after calling me weak for not landing job after paying expensive tuition and getting a degree — So i graduated in December, and i got degree in mechanical engineering. I been applying and i actually got interviews from famous companies like tesla and bosch, but i fumble the first interview alway…
the big dream of moving out — Moving out seems like such a no brainer, especially when you're already an adult and financially independent. But for me, it always seemed unachievable. For the longest time I was so deep in it, I gas…
"Does this count as a shift?" - STOP. INVALIDATING. YOUR. EXPERIENCES. 𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ — Hello beautiful souls! I’m sure many of you have noticed that when you are scrolling on the reality shifting subreddit, you come across posts of somebody asking “Did I shift? Does this count as a sh…
I [24 F] Have Really Good Luck and I Think My [32 M] Boyfriend Hates Me For It Sometimes — Hey guys, this is pretty much as the title says. I \[24 F\] have really good luck and my boyfriend \[32 M\] always makes comments about it. It was harmless at first, surprise and awe at how wild my lu…
Does it really get better when you move out? — That's all I'm really holding on for I guess, finishing A Levels, maybe finally meeting my online bsf and travelling before going to university together (if we decide to go to the same one). I'm in lo…
This video on procrastination, shame, and comfort has actually put me in a path towards healing — I’ve got CPTSD, and this video (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ipJIV6hc1Ls) from Heidi Priebe was my first encounter with the concept of comfort as a daily need that every single person alive has, even…
I 33F received a DM from ex 33M who I haven’t spoken to in 15 years — I 33F randomly received a DM in the middle of the night from an ex 33M who I haven’t spoken to in 15 years. It was a brief relationship. He was an absolute ass and treated me like dog shit (making fun…
Oh boy do I love being exploited(Long rant, life story, lots of heavy stuff) — Hi, new here. I'll just go ahead and describe my relationship with my parents and my general environment, cuz I've been stuck in a cycle of depression and toxic optimism since childhood. For conte…
is this good? — "Hey, I'm really sorry to have to say this, but I don't think this is going to work. I have a hard time communicating as I'm pretty shy and a people-pleaser, but it feels like you're way more attache…
Mental health sucks and I'm exhausted from it — Just want to vent a little. I'm really tired of trying to fix myself. I'm tired of knowing I have abrasive and self-defeating tendencies that I can not fix. I'm tired of attending therapy, crying a l…
Self concept is the key — Link to my previous post is attached. Can't believe whatever happened after I changed my mindset. So grateful for everyone who advised me and suggested me to try all these steps ❤️ ❤️ I knew my sel…
Trying again — My ex and I broke up at the end of last year and it pushed me to a point I never thought I’d get to: finally admitting I needed therapy and mental health help. Something I know I needed long before th…
She said she needed space and my brain basically threw itself down a flight of stairs — Is "I need space" the new " I've got a headache"? This happened like two weeks ago but it’s still bouncing around in my head like a loose screw so whatever, I’ll just dump it here. Maybe it’ll stop r…
Lucid dreaming will not affect your quality of sleep. The only time it is possible is in REM sleep, where your brain is already closest to waking state. You won’t be any less rested by practicing luci…
Good luck!
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and going through this. It sucks she wouldn’t give therapy a chance. You can’t control others actions and feelings. I hope you can find meaning and joy in your kids …
If it helps at all, I'm doing better a few months in now. Not *a lot* better... but enough, for now. Pick a couple areas you want to improve in. Now's the time to get started. Don't try to fix every…
Good luck! I’ve found some comfort with a few of the books listed above. That combined with journaling. Don’t neglect yourself! <3
I would imagine so, but it’s not about doing it throughout the day but rather doing it when you wake up and before sleep, maybe occasionally during the day if you need to get yourself in the right hea…
Well, you can believe me or not, I have no incentive in lying. But the Neville sub has messed me up. Those LOA “teachers” there are messed up - and they don’t even know what they are talking about. “L…
Exactly, that’s what I always say to those who keep bitching it doesn’t work. It’s very important to Change YOU for gods sake, otherwise good luck with your mental screens. Even look at religions, the…
>It’s very important to Change YOU for gods sake, otherwise good luck with your mental screens. This is loaporn.
First regulate your nervous system, and find a nice relaxing moment- this will help you. Don’t dump the trauma on him, find some key things you are struggling with. Persist if you start getting disreg…
I think when I see AAs post, they’re told not to try to understand why a DA did something or what something means, but rather to just let it go. Good luck with that advice. As someone who’s a mix, so…
Thank you for the kind words, and good luck to you….
Good luck! You can be a great mother.
Oh, this is a cool topic, there is nothing cooler than the fucking time that is chasing us. I was just in the middle of my first mission related to a new job. At that time I was already quite burnt…
And while you may not have identified what triggered you about your new boss yet, I'm sure you can still find a way through that situation. Whatever the outcome, I hope you can access some tools at wo…
Your partner sounds Fearful avoidant, is he aware of his attachment style? I think all you can do is let him know in as blame-free way as possible that you notice a pattern in his behaviour that con…
Good stuff, I’ve seen people turn down offers and later end up with a 10th or a 20th of what they would’ve gotten. When I sold my business about five years ago I went from being overworked to having …
Brush up on the company, what they do, their market, etc. Why do you want to be there specifically. Have that answer solid. It’s really important to convince them you’ll like it and therefore try hard…
Use your money as a down payment to buy an existing business that’s had stable revenue and net profit for the last three years. There’s way more to it, but this way you get what you’re looking for wit…
Before working with any agency or automating anything, do it yourself first, even if it’s messy and manual. You can’t outsource what you don’t understand. If you don’t know what works yet, an agenc…
Good luck on scaling lol. Solo founding is fun until you're drowning in customer support tickets at 3am with no one to tag in. VCs want co-founders because they've seen this before - the burnout…
Hey, love the initiative! I work with a lot of entrepreneurs (I help ADHD founders scale their businesses) and having an accountability partner is genuinely one of the most underrated success hacks. …
That’s amazing! Congrats! I hope your quitting speech included: ‘You have no idea how high I can fly.’ (If you know, you know.) Good luck on your new journey my man
I find this nice good luck, can you tell me why my story is not being posted
I love this. I’m autistic. I don’t have time to unpack how attachment styles play out for autistic folks but a nutshell version is - prettt much the same , just more extreme and indelible/harder to ch…
Childhood trauma doesn't always look like yelling or hitting; people mistake this a lot. You can have a lovely attentive parent who still didn't teach you emotional regulation, sent you in time out in…
Attachment issues aren't medicated: source I work with people with insecure an attachment. Psychologists/ therapists don't prescribe medications anyway, at best they can give you a referral to a psych…
Aw mate. No, it doesn't seem pathetic at all. Makes sense why it's still in your head after 2 years, then. That sounds really difficult. I feel for you. Your solution is a good one... but can I add…
This is such a great comment, thank you for adding it. This sentence: >those of us who spent our childhood begging our caregivers to love us and constantly trying to convince them we are worthy of th…
So many examples I can think of lol. In general, after our honeymoon phase was over, she deactivated and started pulling away. I assumed this was caused by anxiety, so instead of calling out her dism…
"They are going to learn". You don't even know if she likes you. She doesn't need to learn anything, let alone about your long-term expectations. Anyway, good luck with whatever this is lol
Either charge more for the songs starting now or continue to sell them to other people the way she does. Clearly your music is popular so use that affirmation to sell more music. Sounds like this per…
Good luck on your new relationship! I hope it works out! I wouldn’t be so quick to label someone’s attachment style until they exhibit several of the distinct behaviors.
Im going to get down voted for this but the fearful avoidant bashing on here is rough to read. They needed healing yes, and are responsible for it but this text was raw, very vulnerable, and it cost h…
A 2nd time around rarely meets expectations. You’re better off leaving the past behind you. Your precious commodity is your time - don’t waste it on people who don’t deserve a seat at your table. Good…
I think there's a lot of overlap between limerence and codependency and you should research the latter more. I personally feel like the online conversations about limerence are not very useful and you…
Fair enough. Good luck!
Its classic..you are not alone in this. I dont know if its allowed to say but i watched a lot from Dr Caroline Leaf free youtube videos, which is not about the attachment per se, but its one of those …
I think dating is for you and self sabotage is common. I think a key, a lot of the time is, is to go into most situations with no attachment to outcome. Find people you like, date and just see how …
I'm like you. I think for APs a few embarrassing collisions and losses are necessary to wake up to the fact that life can't be lived this way. My parents are both extremely anxious people and my mothe…
I’d advise being in active therapy while working through this. I went to CBT for ROCD and my fearful avoidant tendencies while dating a good friend of mine and the progress I made was life changing. I…
One thing that helped me is actively trying to date multiple people at a time because it meant there was a lot less pressure on the one, and I had less to lose. I also think that what people say about…
I used to be an avoidant. What you are describing sounds very familiar and for me it was the part of me that was afraid of good, uncomplicated love. It made me come up with all sorts of nonsensical is…
Take it slow. Your breakup was recent so let it breathe and give yourself space to come back to yourself. Pick up a new hobby or reconnect with old friends - just something to fill your time so you do…
Thank you for sharing this. My “loops” have been much shorter, I don’t know if that’s better or worse. Thanks to some of the stories I’m reading here I’m finally done. I don’t need anymore of the gr…
I think that’s what made me sad about staying so long . That I valued someone else so much instead of myself . I’m sure with reflection and learning more about yourself you will get there . I haven’t …
OP your self-insight is great and this on/off again pattern (while unique to each individual relationship in its own way) is reassuring to read because of just how many similarities we all share. Th…
Think what you want and swallow your poison behavior pills. It’s REAL medicine after all because a ‘doctor’ says it is - one who graduated medical school and a ‘residency’ and has a bunch of governmen…
>There's a good chance she might have a kickback dismissive avoidant response when things get real and she has to "choose you". That'll start off a progression of fault-finding. You're not going to th…