not okay

For those hurting, advice for your 2026 and my story — Hello everyone, **Preface** I am an anxious attacher, so my experience by-and-large is with dismissive avoidants and fearful avoidants. It is not my intent to villainize these attachment styles; thi…

Seeking self-closure — To give a brief overview. Had a multi year situationship with someone I had fallen for, a fearful avoidant. Much pulling and pushing until it ended by her pushing everything away. A year later she st…

We should keep in mind that its a spectrum.. — I realized something in my relationship and it is not much shared in this way so maybe it helps someone else I am anxious and my fiancee is avoidant. He is very introverted and trying to deal with hi…

A friend fell for me, even though he knew I'm happily married. After trying to distance himself for a while, he's now back but acting hostile towards me. I don't know what I've done to deserve his anger, nor how to fix the situation. Any thoughts or advices? — Me (31F) and my husband (32M) have a friend group we often hang out with. We used to be pretty close with this one friend there (30M), who would hang out with us often even outside the group. He came …

My (28f) boyfriend (37m) drinks to excess nearly every weekend, am I selfish for wanting it to stop? — Throwaway account. Please tell me if I am crazy for feeling this way. My boyfriend (37m) and I (28f) have what I consider to be a generally good relationship. We’ve had some issues in the past that we…

Reflection on over friendly therapist? — Hi readers. This is something that has been on my mind for months and I don't know how to wrap my head around it. Some professional insight might be helpful. I left therapy a few months ago. I had …

My mom called my son’s birthday party “f***ing embarrassing” because she cares more about what people think than celebrating him — **UPDATE:** Thank you to everyone who commented and shared advice. A lot of people suggested going no contact with my mom to protect myself and my son. I understand why people said that, but I want …

Therapist told me I was a narcissist during a session, completely shutdown. — Hi everyone. I have been actively looking for a psychiatrist or therapist to take me seriously when trying to pick through cPTSD, and autistic shutdown. The services in my province (Canadian) only of…

How to have a helpful conversation when you feel something is wrong. — I am working to become a therapist and I have run into a situation in my life that I don't know how to have productively. My fiancee is Catholic and has decided to wear a cilice. For those of you who…

Anyone Ever Just Start Hitting Them Back? — Very politically incorrect of me I guess 🙄 but I hate how all of the advice given out to victims never suggests hitting them back. It's like it's almost a taboo to suggest that you do anything but co…

Breakup with my partner and best friend — Its one of the first time im using reddit so im hope it'll be alright. I've had a best friend. He's been my confident for 10 years, he was my safe person, I was relying on him for everything. 3 year…

You're not allowed to be angry. You're not allowed to feel your emotions. — Does this fall under reactive abuse or something else? When the narcissist/s have done you wrong so you just step away and become distant, because speaking with them wouldn't work. So when they see t…

Anyone else never asks for help because they don't want to be a burden? — Even when I'm really struggling, I can't bring myself to reach out. I convince myself that my problems aren't serious enough, that people have their own stuff to deal with, or that I'll just come acro…

I’m still here begging, while he feels nothing — Right now I’m sitting alone in my room, waiting for a single call from him. I’ve been texting and begging him to talk to me, but he just says he’s “busy and shows no empathy at all....I can’t even tel…

I have never hated anyone so much in my life — I’ll spare the soap opera that was our marriage. We were married for five years and are now in the process of separating. I was the one who initiated. We have a little one. He is 2. He is the most im…

Feeling Manipulated [tw: emotional manipulation] — My mom sent me this guilt trip of a meme today. Yikes. I grew up in a deeply codependent family. I don’t know what to call what I grew up in, what name could describe the type of dysfunction. The co…

I (f 22) tested positive for an std after years of being clean and consistent testing and my bf (m 24) of 2 years says it’s “impossible” it’s because of him despite not being tested for 5 years and now we’re not okay. — \*\*\*UPDATE\*\*\* After a long 3 days my results came back and they were all negative. I, of course, told my boyfriend and he was relived much like I was. He was supportive of me and he apologized …

When do you know to end a relationship? — I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for about two years—we started dating in high school. Since I turned 18, I’ve been living with her, her mom, and her grandmother. Early in the relationship,…

My (M27) Best friend since High School (F26) told me she cheated after we got engaged — I (M27) have been together with my fiance(F26) or the last 6 years… I have known her for 13+ since middle school, since I was a kid and ever since High school we were best friends. We did not start d…

Do we view going to prostitutes as cheating? — Edit: I don’t know why anyone would think i’d stay with this man, i made it clear im not okay with this. We’re already divorcing, i just need insights from those who experienced both types of betrayal…

I think I’ve been minimizing what I’ve been living in because it wasn’t “bad enough” — I don’t really know how to say this cleanly. I think I’ve been telling myself for years that this is just a “difficult marriage,” and I don’t think that’s true anymore. But if I’m actually honest, m…

how do y’all deal with family as an adult after your mental health was neglected growing up — How do y’all deal with family now that you’re older after your mental health was neglected growing up? I’m 19 and I keep realizing how obvious it was that I was not okay when I was younger and it hon…

my mom is coming through my town briefly and wants to stay the night in my apartment and i don’t know how to tell her no — i’m 19, i moved out when i was 17 (roughly 1 1/2 years ago) and in with my boyfriend because i couldn’t take the abuse anymore & i had nowhere else to go. over the last year it’s been okayish talking …

M21 turning 22 It's been 3 years I joined different universities I did the most wanted specializations — three years I fucking study my first year every time the same problem pattern happens and its so frustrating the pattern is (before commitment no substance abuse nor Gfs after I enroll and start study…

I'm not okay. Not really sure why I'm writing this. — I don't know what anyone can say to help me. My wife is divorcing me, I thought we had a happy marriage, we didn't fight or have any conflict. she just says she no longer has feelings. I had no warnin…

Is this an Astral Projection or...? — I tried to induce Astral Projection tonight for the first time, because I discovered I had done it once before, but involuntarily, it was fully, and effectively without my knowing this was an actual p…

Seeking advice about my wife's actions — Seeking advice I’m posting here because I need honest input from people who understand limerence/crush dynamics, especially if you’ve experienced it while in a committed relationship or from the part…

Dealing with the repercussions of making mistakes — Posting this here because the BPD subreddit kinda sucks and will not allow you to post anything :)) Hey guys :// I was doing pretty good but I’m definitely still feeling repercussions of when I was …

kinda confused honestly — Me and my ex broke up on good terms mid-december ish and decided it’d be the best to process and go about this with NC. We had one of the most heartbreaking conversations both of us have ever had righ…

He said he wasn’t ready for anyone… 6 days later he’s liking other girls’ posts — I (F) just got out of a 5-year relationship, and I’m honestly struggling to make sense of what’s happening. The last 2 months were rough between us, but I was still willing to fight for it and try to…

my mom read my therapy notes out loud at dinner and now im the “problem child” again — i got home late from work and everyone was already eating, like full family dinner mode for no reason. my mom had that weird fake calm face she does when something’s coming. i sit down, barely even gr…

I’m re-explaining my situation after everyone on this subreddit said I was the shittiest person alive — Hi everyone I know this is super long but please read all of it. So yesterday I posted this: “I need honest opinions because I’m really conflicted and don’t know if I crossed a line or if this break…

im feeling weird about my boyfriend having sleepovers with his girl best friend? — Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 months. We are super healthy and are good at handling conflict, except i don’t know how to approach this one thing. He lives about 6 hours away but g…

Update: Be Blunt: Am I (29F) a bad partner to my wife (32F)? — Original post: [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/s/gYsr3GR6N2](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/gYsr3GR6N2) Thank you all for you support last week! Many of you have commen…

advice on my relationship — Recently, I F (25) found out that my partner F (30) had been texting another girl in a way that crossed my boundaries (calling her “princess,” asking for kisses, being affectionate, etc.). I confronte…

I know why i’m depressed but how — I 23m have dealt with depression since a young age and also dealing with other things. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, OCD, major depression disorder, and an anxiety disorder. I am currently on medic…

I know the roots of the issues but where to go — 123m have dealt with depression since a young age and also dealing with other things. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, OCD, major depression disorder, and an anxiety disorder. 1 am currently on medica…

I’m 26M and I’ve been in a relationship with my fiancée (24F) since we were teenagers, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. — We met in high school when we were 16–17. At first we were just really close friends, even while we were in separate relationships. Around 18, we started liking each other and eventually got together.…

My dad constantly shames me for collecting Mario stuff and other video game merch – it feels so invalidating — I'm a teenager still living at home and I've been a huge Mario (and other video games) fan forever. Collecting figures, rare merch, and little items from the games I love is literally one of the only …

boyfriend saved videos of girls twerking — Firstly i don’t usually use reddit so im sorry if this isn’t the right community to post this but I wasn’t able to post in other communities. me (25f) and my boyfriend (27m) have been together for 4…

Bless you guys and your strength dealing with N abuse — Im no stranger to N abuse, I’ve been no contact with my family likely 5 years at this point and while it was hard at first, life has been amazing since. I’ve started forgetting what it was like to hav…

My bf made a secret X/Twitter account for yk what. — I need some outside perspective on this because I’m feeling conflicted. My bf (we’ve been together 5 years) made a secret X/Twitter account where he follows porn accounts and girls who post nudes/vid…

I (19F) think I have an avoidant friend (20F) — Gonna keep it as brief as possible but it'll be pretty long. I am in college and I live on campus. I became friends with someone through a friend, got closer to her over a trip in the summer. Her best…

I resent my mother and I’m not sure if I should stay or leave. — *Sorry for long read* Since a kid I felt my mom wasn’t really there emotionally or mentally. I always felt she had her kids more so for benefits and money. In my teens years I started to go against h…

I resent my mother and idk if I should leave or stay. — Sorry for long read Since a kid I felt my mom wasn’t really there emotionally or mentally. I always felt she had her kids more so for benefits and money. In my teens years I started to go against her…

i screamed back at my dad tonight — i screamed back tonight. (warning tl;dr) (i’m 22, i live at home. i’m chronically ill and on SSI while i rehabilitate my physical health. my mom and dad live with me. my parents are divorced but frie…

i screamed back at my dad tonight — i screamed back tonight. (warning tl;dr) (i’m 22, i live at home. i’m chronically ill and on SSI while i rehabilitate my physical health. my mom and dad live with me. my parents are divorced but frie…

How should I (22M) bring up my porn problem to my (21F) girlfriend? Should I at all? — Just a bit of backstory, I already had a problem with porn coming into this relationship. Not necessarily an addiction or a problem so bad that it actually took away from my life, but more so that it …

Am I overthinking this, or were my in-laws always expecting my marriage to fail? — I’ve been reflecting on my marriage and a lot of things aren’t sitting right with me. I don’t know if I’m connecting dots in hindsight or if this really is a pattern, I’d really appreciate outside per…

Miss you, love you, exhausted — If He Wanted To The silence is the loudest thing I’ve ever heard. Louder than our fights. Louder than the words I wish I could take back. Louder than every “I love you” that once felt like oxygen.…

Yeah. Several people ended friendships with me for needing time and replying slowly. And I can’t really blame them. If it’s not okay with them, if my communication style is painful for them- then it’s…

Yeah, I was going to mention this because I often see posts and comments online and on Reddit demonizing avoidents or diagnosing others of being avoident with limited information or perspective. While…

Small claims court is complicated because she is basically hiding in London, but her business is registered in Australia. I am from neither of these countries. And blasting her socials… she deletes th…

Who said anything about enabling? And ur right they don’t decide but when they truly care, yes they can see things not going the way they want it to go. Sometimes that leads to no change but for other…

I‘m going to make this short: You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right, his behavior is objectively not okay and it’s neither your fault nor your responsibility. I don’t think that any…

Hey, thank you for the response. I'm kind of overwhelmed with all those thoughts, don't know how to respond to this, but I get your point. I was actually okay until he flipped things, something I didn…

The function of anxiety is letting you know that something is wrong. The thing about us anxiously attached folks is that our anxiety malfunctions when getting to know someone we like or when in a rela…

What is her reasoning behind why she is not okay with you going to therapy by yourself? There's so much to unpack here, but this stands out to me as really unusual.

You're doing this thing that I noticed I used to do a lot: you are giving little hints and tells that you're not okay with your wife's behaviour. They spring up in your writing as if you're subconscio…

I think two things are true: what she did initially was something most people would not be okay with in a relationship. So that was bad and it was a big deal. However, two, It sounds like she handled…

No one is attacking you. I was trying to explain myself so you understood what I was saying in my previous comments. No one in this sub is going to tell you how to survive not hearing I love you. Be…

It really pisses me off. I know it's wasted energy, but it's so disrespectful. They talk about being used, but they are the ones who are using you by trying to make you fit their perception of what yo…

To put all of this together - it sounds like you've been broken up for over a year. Do I have that right? And the relationship was 2 years? So over half of the relationship has passed in the time of i…

Nah that's actually so rude. Awkward thing to talk about over text. I wouldn't answer because I'd hate the idea of him showing my response to people. Any type of message you would be embarrassed/uncom…

He was suddenly not okay with my having a child. He probably had other reasons but was being nice.

What you’re describing goes way beyond ‘protest behaviour’. It doesn’t matter if an abusive person feels bad about their abuse, it’s still abuse and not okay.

I hear this!!! That has been a struggle of mine for a long time. I’m gonna be me and if that’s not okay then he’s not for me. I’m not going to waste time on that crap

I saw that you replied, but I can't seem to respond directly to your response? Anyways— Hmm, yeah. I get what you're saying (I think). I guess I don't think it's necessary for them to get off of the …

I know that objectively and morally she’s not okay for doing that but it is so funny and slapstick I simply would have to stick it out. Maybe by the time I’m 56 I won’t want to do things for the plot/…

I would not pursue your FWB’s friend, especially since you met through your FWB. That’s pretty clearly offside and is going to cause a bunch of drama. Sleeping around is one thing, sleeping with one o…

I wasn’t the one who came back in 2025 and who tried to weasel himself back into my life for 3 months 🤣 before I actually let him… look, I get it, with the lack of information this sounds very one si…

I'm just flabbergasted, I really thought my coworker broke up with this other colleague, but apparently they're still together and he pretty much only talks to her when he wants money from her. I assu…

1. I'd say something along the lines of "that really sucks that you're stuck, it makes me feel sad that I can't help, I really hope things change!" In an empathizing kind of way, not a making it about…

Pumped and dumped. He ended it the day after he slept with me because I am friends with a guy I’ve slept with. Who he knows, sort of, distantly. Who he outright told me he was okay with me being frie…

>I understand he might be dealing with his emotions, and that our friendship is not okay at the moment, but why this anger and hostility? Because unfortunately it isn't just that he is dealing with …

That's a good point. It was sexual whether they had sex or not. About the lying part, I've given her every opportunity to tell the truth and have even said it doesn't matter if it was just what she de…

Good job! These toxic positivity, spiritually bypassing people need to shut up with their invalidating and victim blaming BS. Some of this shit is taught by abusers themselves in order to gaslight the…

Projecting your own relationship issues onto other people is not okay. You don't know why they broke up with someone, it certainly was not for the same reasons as to why someone broke up with you. Or …

The I that is saying it is bad is the I which judges the I that succumbs.. maybe I should have mentioned temptation instead of lust? I'm all in for feeling the bundle of feelings that makes me a human…

I feel you. To me it's unhelpful because like you said A) the choice was between being strong and dying B) I don't want to have to be strong anymore C) being strong might cheer you up if you have a sm…

I could be wrong, but this is what I think right now. I think humans have a limit to how much they can empathize with other humans. I think it's tied into the idea that even hearing about something tr…

Did anyone say it was not okay to reference it that way? Seems like you're jumping to conclusions

Tell her, "If you're so embarrassed by what we have planned we'll (important that it's both you and husband!!) understand if you want to miss out on your grandchild's important milestone. I'll tell pe…

First off, His "test" is honestly a bit cruel and regardless of how things go you should have a discussion about this if nothing else. It is okay for him to want you to initiate more, it is not okay f…

Him giving you a "test" was wrong and not okay. He should've communicated. But now that you know, just try to do it. The two of you should go to a sec therapist and i bet that will help immensely. He'…

Psychiatrists treating you like there's something *inherently* wrong with you is definitely not okay... I haven't had that experience but I'm sorry you have.

100%. I was in a similar relationship with an ex. He was in the military and constantly afraid of getting in trouble for his weight gain. I was so annoyed with his choices and after years of being sup…

5’8”???? mam, any less and you’d disappear. sometimes i tell my boyfriend how sad I am about my relationship weight gain, and how good I looked when i was w my ex bc of the hell and stress he put me t…

I was thinking the exact same reading this thread. I’m pretty matter-of-fact about body stuff, but I would also prefer to never again see my 3yo’s morning wood or need to QC his buttwiping attempts. W…

Maybe I am missing something but it seems like you are proud when you describe yourself as giving the silent treatment to him and say it's setting a boundary in the beginning of the post, but it's not…

I as well am feeling a sense of clarity hearing that others have experienced similar things because I need people to know this is a problem and kids need to know it’s not okay to ever have your bounda…

My friend recently became a police officer. She tells me how the FTOs sleep with their trainees (these FTOs are married) and all the affairs that go on in her department. This seems to be very common.…

I am a womam. I am your height, and I was a doctor (until I got a chronic health condition myself) It sounds as if your partner has internalised his mothers toxic eating disordered language as bein…

Do not get rid of your birds. Get rid of the man. I (F33) have two parrots (African grey and an Amazon) I rescued both under extenuating circumstances. For reference I always wanted cats haha you chos…

I was nearly 40, too. My husband had to point out that her treatment of me was not okay. I had learned to adapt by getting distance from her. I moved out when I was 18 and stayed home. I’m almost 50…

Super late to this conversation, but my husband has COPD and I can absolutely empathise with you about how fucking *infuriating* the sound of coughing can get. Of course it is out of their control and…

This reminds me of my husband. His parents, mom and aunt specifically, are “health nuts”… so they have done some VERY questionable things to him growing up. His mom (and I assume dad? But hi dad was a…

You absolutely must take care of yourself first. If you are not okay you cannot help someone else. The first step is to get away someplace safe. If he has family that cares about him you contact th…

The self-awareness here is huge. You recognize the pattern and that it's not okay — that's step one. Might sound random but I read (well, listened to the quick summary on Headway) 'Attached' by Amir …

It's quite simple, he's an addict And he doesn't realize it And there's some empathy to be had about that But he needs to quit porn entirely The "realization made" thing is totally irrelevant You shou…