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Citations (89)
**Please, for your own sanity, read this before you walk down the aisle.** You nailed it. He showed absolutely zero interest or respect for you. I cannot even imagine being in this situation. Aband…
Please help — Hey there! Found this community a few days ago and I seriously need advice on how to push thru the panic/ anxiety. I know I'm an avoidant. All my life I've never wanted people to see me. All my life…
Am I crazy? I feel like a stalker. — I (26F) don’t understand how my ex (31M) switched on me overnight, and I’m struggling to cope. We dated for almost a year. At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future mar…
breakup with someone who didn’t communicated issues — My ex (20M) and I (20F) broke up at the beginning of March after almost a year together, and I’m having a hard time moving on. It felt like a really special connection to me. He made me feel genuinel…
My boyfriend [27M] pulls me down [24F] — Me \[24F\]and my boyfriend \[M27\] are togehter for four years now. I do love him but I feel like he did not grow up, since we met. He failed his studies, works 10 hours per week at an oldtimer shop …
Therapy brought up a childhood memory and now I feel completely wrecked — Yesterday in therapy we ended up talking about one specific memory from my childhood. My father, who was a military officer, got drunk with his coworkers, came home, and apparently had something like…
My 23M bf gets a panic attack every time i ask him to pick up after himself 22F am i the problem? — I’ve been living with my bf 23M for almost a year now. I’ve noticed that every time i slightly disagree with him or ask him to not leave food out all night he gets upset to the point that he gets a pa…
How can I feel fulfilled in my relationship? — I am a 40-year-old woman who was married for 15 years before separating five years ago. Since then, I have been with my current boyfriend, who is 44, and we have been together for four years. I love h…
Do break actually work? — TL;DR my bf left me in the middle of the work day to move to his parents house now wants me to follow him 2 hours and maybe get engaged in 2 years if I do everything he says. Me (23f) have been with …
How do I shake off the feeling of revenge and that’s it’s my loss — I am leaving the city in 2 days I have stayed for last 5 years(even before my marriage) because I can’t take it anymore. I have resigned from my job, planning to travel and find myself. I got a notifi…
My boyfriend (22M) of 18 months REFUSES to introduce me (22M) to his family, except as a “friend”. — For background, myself and my bf are from two different Western European countries, and met in a third country while studying. We lived in the same city for 9 months, including living together for a …
Mom makes rude comment, I tell her I don’t like what she said so she apologizes then says “Don’t be so sensitive about if next time” — As my title states my mom made a rude comment to me as usual. She walked down the hallway while my door was open and she let out a big sigh and said “ugh your room” let me mind you that my room is not…
Husband (28M) wants to cut off lifelong friend (28m) after he made AI porn of me (28F) How do we move forward? — My husband has been best friends with this guy since childhood, they grew up down the street from each other. I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, and I’ve known this friend the entire time. A few …
Trauma as an infant - how does it effect you? — Hey guys. This is mainly a question based on my personal experiences but mostly my mothers, as I obviously have no memory of it because I was 3mo old at the time. My bio dad was very abusive to my m…
I feel like an afterthought in my (26F) relationship with (34M) — I (26F) began seeing this guy (34M) about 2 months ago, but we met through work about 3 years ago. He invited me out with his friends one night and we've been hanging out ever since. Things have been…
I despise my narcissistic mother — I (34F) feel a lot of shame even saying this, but I hate my mother (65F). More than that, I hate how she makes me feel. She is hurtful in so many ways. She is disrespectful toward my husband making r…
My (31F) boyfriend (28M) has not invited me to his home after two years of dating, and I don't know how to talk about it. — Hi all! After avoiding "serious" dating in favor of school and career, I met a great guy online just over two years ago. This is the most serious relationship for both of us, and we both have historie…
How do I, 26F, get my husband, 25M, to realize talking to his family is the issue? — My husband and I have not been to together extremely long (2 years), we got married because he decided to join the military. My husband and I don't have any real issues in our relationship. Now onto …
Need Advice, Confusing Breakup — Hi guys. I am going through a really confusing breakup right now and partially just need to talk and partially want to ask for advice. I was with my now ex-boyfriend for 1.5 years. On paper he was the…
I (20F) don't know if I should breakup with my bf (20M) because of our families — ​ I'm feeling so lost and honestly don't know what to do, ive been dating my bf for six years, it's been lots of ups and downs. My family never liked him so we just kept it a secret but idk if…
How can you tell if calling off an engagement is the right decision? — I recently got engaged to a guy my parents introduced me to through a mutual family friend. He lives out of state, was 25years old, and my mom initially gave him my number without asking me. At the ti…
My husband left but wants a second chance… — So my husband left in Jan and we’ve been separated since then. We did therapy up until a few weeks ago when he told me “I don’t want to give up all of the other lives I could be living for this life w…
Should I (20F) breakup w my bf (20M) because our families are not compatible — I'm feeling so lost and honestly don't know what to do, ive been dating my bf for six years, it's been lots of ups and downs. My family never liked him so we just kept it a secret but idk if can keep …
My (27F) boyfriend (27M) doesn’t seem sure about marriage, what to do? — Please don’t be horrible to me, I just want to hear other peoples opinions. My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have been together coming up three years. We live together, and our relationship is happy d…
My mom does not want me to drive. She got what she wanted. — Last week, I decided to go out driving with my mom. I am a young adult with no license and have been trying to get my license for 6 years now. Each time, something happens with my family or with a car…
[18F] ending talking stage friend [18M] — I (18F) work a part time job while I’m in college and I have a coworker (18M) who is my coworker and is a senior in highschool. he’s worked there for almost a year, but a lil over a month ago added me…
I (F31) ruined my relationship (M27) and now I don't know what to do. — I thought our relationship was perfect. It was the best I felt with someone, even though there were flaws on both sides, I saw it as "we're improving together" rather than "I need you to be perfect, a…
Starting to hate my family — I am starting to hate everyone in this family, my mom asks too many questions and sometimes even avoids taking responsibility when it comes to asking a staff member during shopping or even asking hosp…
First Breakup — I’ve never posted on reddit before so I apologize if i don’t do this right😅 I’m 17 years old and I got broken up with on February 1st this year. We dated for bit less than a year, April 8th (which j…
Partner changed after developing chronic pain and left me. Should I fight for our relationship or let him go? — Hi everyone, I need advice. I haven’t been coping well with a recent breakup. I (24F) met this guy (24M) four months ago and we had an intense connection right away. It felt like fate and like I had …
I (25F) ended a 4-year relationship because of religious/cultural barriers. I’m heartbroken and feel like I’ve lost my entire world. — I’m struggling to breathe today and just need to put this somewhere. I (25F) recently ended a four-year relationship. I was the one who broke it off, but it feels like my heart is the one that got sh…
Not sure what to do — I don’t even know how to organize this, but I’m trying to think through possible divorce + relocation and feel really stuck. I’m sorry it’s so long. I’m 34 F married to my husband, 42, with 3 kids 13…
Has anyone been to Divorce Court in England, UK, and have their opponent share Court papers with others not involve in the case? Should I report this? — Hi, I am currently in court with my ex, looking to sort out our finances. However, I have become aware that he has emailed court papers to his family, of mine and our daughters bank statements and oth…
Post-Break Up — I just got broken up with and I'm doing absolutely horrid. I've been telling everyone I'm doing good, but I'm not. I went to the gym, talked to friends, made jokes about how much of a mess the whole r…
Overwhelming Breakup — My partner and I broke up today, and like any breakup, it sent chills down my spine. I felt cold and clammy, my heart racing as I questioned what had gone wrong and why another chance was not possible…
Staying in My (41F) relationship with my BF (47M)? — I (41F) am dating my bf (47M) for almost 3 year. I have been divorced for 4 years with two kids (6 and 8) and have 50/50 custody with my ex. I didn't introduce my kids to my bf until we were 1 year in…
I (27F) need advice about my relationship with my boyfriend (23M) and how to process moving forward. — So for context, I (27F) am dating this guy (23M) who i met online. We have been seeing each other for about a month+ so its short yeah but I need help answering stuff or at least an outside perspectiv…
Narcissist and controlling mother — I still love my ex, and I believe he loves me too, but I feel like our relationship was heavily affected by his family, especially his mom, who I see as very overprotective. He comes from a well-off …
In college and still think about my avoidant ex after almost a year — Hi hi, I haven't seen enough discourse on healing from an avoidant ex and I have definitely not seen enough discourse on healing from an avoidant ex while being at the same college together. My ex an…
I'm (36F) one of the oldest people in this particular friend group (and the extended friend group ie. Friends of the friends) The oldest person is 3 months older than me (but different year) and the r…
I started dating a guy, about half a year ago, I'm not sure when exactly. We both have kids.. When my partner met my kid, my ex was there, my ex was aware, my ex and I communicated about this relati…
None of this is any good: >When I met his kid, he communicated with no one >his ex had to learn from her child that he has a girlfriend now. I think that's disrespectful >he brings me aroun…
I (36 F) met a (39 M) on Instagram through a mutual friend. He tried to strike up a conversation in my DMs, and finally, after 5 months, we exchanged numbers. For the next two months, we FaceTimed d…
I don’t know him or his family, but I can see two things: - as an expat who had once the same immigration status as him, getting into a serious relationship when you’re only a temporary resident is al…
He wasn’t telling me about when he was going out with his friends. He was giving me literal updates of his whereabouts. Going to visit his family, going to the gym, going to work. :)
I know logically that is correct coz when I found out about his family, I didn’t want to enter that family. But its still painful to hear about him
>though if it’s early on I try to limit myself from texting too frequently since it can give me a false sense of intimacy I did get a false sense of intimacy due to the lengthy, inquisitive and late …
Oh thank you so much! This puts a lot into perspective. I did ask him if he was busy or sick, but I worded it poorly. Here is my response to another helpful reply, where I mention the thing precisel…
A mutual friend saw my ex a few weeks ago and he says he "wants to be friends". He (30M) and I were together 3.5 years. He was going through some bad shit w his family, but dumped me at end-Dec. Not n…
"At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future marriage, moving in together, and kids. He introduced me to his family, his friends, and even his coworkers. Everyone told me …
I am so sorry. I understand how devastating this is, even more so if he is a cop, someone meant to protect and serve others and he can't even remain faithful to his own wife. Does he realize the impac…
Find yourself a therapist who can help you deal with this. It is imperative. You need someone to talk to who can give you professional insight. Having a partner with severe mental struggles, you need …
I know it sucks, but when you divorce your partner, you will almost always be divorcing their family too. They are his family, not yours.
In one of my mostly EA friend groups, the guys had always dated AF or WF. When I brought a close friend of mine who is BF to hang out, almost every guy started trying to talk to her. She’s very attrac…
His family, your family need to rally behind you. Your husband is being an immature asshole. Condoms are not infallible. Sorry, but what is wrong with this guy? How dare he? His parents need to kick h…
I used to have a best friend- who now I look back on was definitely a narcissist (unfortunately I would connect with not very nice girls because I thought toxic relationships were normal due to narc p…
Exactly. This is similar to my STBXH’s parents. Dad always chose work over his family, cheated, still elects to forego trips with his wife, etc. My MIL found her emotional support in her kids rathe…
My recent avoidant ex broke up with me 2 years ago for someone new. He did try keeping in contacts for months after (basically dating in front of his family, reminiscing about past, mapping out a futu…
I agree with this. These are the things we’re slowly doing. I think about how I have not yet seen him upset, or inconvenienced, or around his family, etc. - and him with me! I could have the dealbreak…
You can be honest without oversharing here. I’m hearing that you basically live with this family, and you’re lying to them regularly. Do not tell them you’re working when you’re not - that is sketchy.…
Serve the divorce papers... If you aren't loved and respected by your husband or his family why are you sitting around waiting for it to change? File for divorce. Not many people will ever respect…
In my case, nothing could be further from the truth!!! I begged, pleaded, cried to matter!!!! To be as important as ALL the other things that came before me!!!! He simply took for granted that i would…
Supposedly he *does* do it to his family, specifically his mother and sister(s). Evidently, all of them do it to each other and see no issue with it at all, and all look at OP like she’s crazy.
she/him/his family are downplaying and criticizing so you don’t go to the police. absolutely fucked stance on their part. however posting about it may serve as proof of his guilt, so i would screensho…
Yep. And when something reminds you of something special that you shared or that applied to his family, but now holds nothing special to you without explaining. It sucks, because there's no one to eve…
Please report him. I spent 20+ years married (with kids) to a professional man, who was outwardly charming to everyone but very successfully hiding that he was a serious sexual predator, praying on th…
Give it time. Transitions are hard, and divorce/ moving/ family dissolution is one of the hardest. Particularly for your mother, this is going to be a very sensitive time. But keep in mind that by sha…
Thank you, I really needed to hear this. I'm trying to work with his family, because of the mental health situation. They are supportive of both of us. But his sister, God love her, is a Physicians …
Yes I had to learn things on my own but I left at 17 too I didnt want to deal, so in the past my parents "Would" say things but they quickly bit there tongue because they knew. I feel bad because thin…
She could apologize all she wants. Your boundary about not telling anyone, including her parents, about your financial situation was crystal clear. I couldn’t forgive this betrayal. I’d always wonder …
This happened to me too. I had already known my dad was a narcissist by this time but last year I went to visit my long distance boyfriend living with his family and the way that he interacted with hi…
TLDR; my boyfriend is going through a lot in his life right now and is taking space for himself after we had a kind of emotional interaction. I’m not sure how to navigate it or what to make of it. Fo…
There were intuitive signs when we started talking but when I would discuss with my mom, she would just minimise my take and ask me to avoid them. When we went to meet him and his family, he had booke…
OP, this is really who he is, he just dropped the mask. He has learned to love bomb to get a woman’s interest and once he gets what he wants, you are no longer ‘high value’ to him. Take this as a le…
A woman can become exhausted trying to help a husband at the expense of her own well being. You have admitted a lot of truths here, and now it’s time to add up all the truths and ask yourself why you …
Great point. I have had this conversation with him multiple times and emphasized that if he wants to get married his new chosen family comes first. In my opinion he is way too enmeshed with his curren…
>"It's also really important to me that you change your name back to your maiden name." I was blindsided. I said, "That's my name!" And he replied, "No, it's MINE, and I don't want you walking around …
I reached out to a few people from his “past”, as he liked to call it. A convenient terminology to excuse his life long habit of erasing people from his life. A very clear pattern emerged. He has a ve…
You're welcome. Yeah, they can really mess with your head. Mine told me I was crazy too. After everything came to light, I did get to say to him I'm not the one that's crazy you're the crazy one. I ha…
No OP is making a good offer for OP. That doesn’t make it a good offer for her BF in the slightest. OP is asking her boyfriend to give up his family, an incredibly close group of friends, a stable g…
The framing here is the part worth pushing on. "Happiness isn't about getting what you want" is true but incomplete — and the incomplete version is where people get stuck. It becomes a rationalizatio…
>Maybe that’s not healthy Sweetheart this is not healthy. Anyone can have a good relationship when they don’t disagree. He is using your past as a DV survivor to manipulate you into feeling like an a…
This is not a healthy relationship and he’s using Weaponized incompetence to turn it back around on you so that you are doubting yourself. This even goes beyond Weaponized incompetence, to the point t…
You married him but you NEED to divorce him. He’s living off you from another country and has you supporting himself, his family, and his friends and treats you like a piece of garbage. Don’t do this …
Original copy of post by u/KaleidoscopeNext1466: I am a 40-year-old woman who was married for 15 years before separating five years ago. Since then, I have been with my current boyfriend, who is 44, …
There is a whole community of people who have been hurt by our narc. His family, his former friends, his exes. We are all close now and when we get together it's extremely cathartic. I think we were a…
In a way yes, but men that get far are also responsible for the most amount of charitable action. It's not us paying millions of dollars to cancer research, and programs like Direct Relief. Remember w…
That's one of the favorite manipulation tactics of my GC Nsis, too. She'd always try things to make me look like the bad person. She'd twist words and expect a reaction from me. In this family, lying …
Someone who is kind, has good relations with his family, gainfully employed (or trying to make sure his bills are covered), has shared and outside interests, and easygoing. Genuine. Patient.