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safeword
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Citations (52)
Babe, take out "safeword" ...you told him he was HURTING YOU and to STOP. "You're hurting me, stop." Read it again. And again. I get being in the moment, being drunk, doing something that is the typic…
inappropriate relationship with my therapist — okay so. i started seeing a therapist in december when i was 17 (im 18 as of january, and he was 50+) and a lot of the therapy we were doing was about my sex trauma, and he thought i had a sex addicti…
BF (25M) ignored my (24F) safe word and I don’t know how to feel. — I’m feeling really confused about something that happened with my boyfriend and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not. My BF (25M) and I (24F) been together for about a year, and we have a pretty r…
Naw, never been afraid; I love the adventure part of shifting, and sometimes I'm too lazy to focus on one particular reality. Plus, I feel like it's waaayy easier to shift when you don't have a partic…
Sometimes passing out and waking up can happen so quickly that its confused to unlookers whether or not you actually passed out. Not saying this answers anything, just food for thought Develop safewo…
What Safeword do you use in such a case. How long does it take to go back in prefered reality. And what statement do you use before sleeping and prepare yourself.
My safeword since day 1 has always been "Come back home," and it works instantly. I say my safeword, and instantly my eyes pop open in my CR. My shifts have mostly been through luck and chance. When…
Yeah, multiple times. I've had mostly mini shifts, or said my safeword to come back. I haven't stayed for more than a day in most realities
Whatever this woman has going on can only be ethically explored with safewords and informed consent. Neither of which it appears she established. In terms of kink, this is like you spanking her like…
Loving pain and being controlled is not a reason for someone to touch you when you dont want to or are not ready to. These things should be done with consent and safety. I do think this is SA, sorry…
I had something similar happen once. Dumped him IMMEDIATELY. Choking is HAZARDOUS PLAY, and should *always* be discussed beforehand, a safeword/sign should be in place etc. I’m so sorry that happene…
Consent has to be free and continuous . The moment you said your safeword, the said consent was withdrawn and whatever happened afterwards is assault. >I started using my safeword and told him it was…
A safeword is exactly established for that specific situation: to stop immediately. You don't get to continue and either feign ignorance or some other bullshit excuse. If you can't trust him to stop,…
You used your safeword and he didn't listen. That is when it goes from being consentual to non consentual. He raped you. I'm not going to sugar coat it. The second the safeword is used, it is full sto…
> But I feel like in such rough intimacy, it’s hard for people to understand who haven’t done it I have done it and still I dont understand it. I love intoxicated sex and I like rough sex, but ignori…
As someone also in the kink & BDSM scene - I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who has the capacity to get “carried away”. My boyfriend and play partners are all the types of people who would be horrifi…
Nope nope nope. Safeword means stop. That’s what makes it a safe word. Rough play like this is why you HAVE a safe word, so you CAN do things like plead and cry without your partner stopping the act…
A consensual rough sexual relationship like this works, because of hard boundaries and safewords. The only way for it to be able to work is for both parties to stay within the limits that have been di…
A safeword is a guaranteed hard stop. If he won't honor that, you can't trust him.
Sweetheart, the second you said your safeword, and he didn't stop it became rape. I'm so sorry, but this isn't just 'he crossed a line', you told him to stop and he refused...that is rape. I'm so inc…
Ignoring safeword = not safe The problem isnt what word you use, the problem is that he doesn't care when you use it. Get angry. He does not deserve forgiveness or another chance here. You are not …
OP You’re not overreacting because once a safeword is used everything must stop and the fact that he ignored it breaks consent regardless of your usual dynamic so it’s normal to feel conflicted but wh…
In the kink/BDSM world there's 2 terms that we use SSC (Safe,Sane,Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) SSC - means that whoever is involved in play is engaged safely with a sane mind an…
I’m sorry that happened to you because a safeword is an all stop. Period. I’ve even stopped when a safeword hasn’t been used when I became aware that my partner was in a bad place. Either way whether …
Yeah the trust behind the safeword is gone. I'd be reevaluating my relationship.
I once accidentally got blackout drunk with a girlfriend who I had just started exploring kink with. The only memory I have from the entire night is when she used her safeword - I clearly remember tha…
safeword is supposed to mean stop no matter what even if u guys are used to rough stuff. makes sense u feel off about it like trust got shaken a bit and u’re still processing what that means for u
Him wanting to change the SAFEWORD is him trying to make you think there was something wrong or unclear about your agreement, instead of something wrong with his acting. He’s trying to change focus. H…
As a side note, if your safewords are too subtle or weird or your brain has turned to mush, the standard safewords should almost always be valid, i.e. SAFEWORD and RED. Overriding them is pretty extre…
SAFEWORD and RED should always be safewords, regardless of what other ones you want to agree on. It's a pathetic excuse from him that they need changing.
The problem sounds like a clear set of confusing rules. I used my safeword but it's not strange for him to stay in the Dom mindset and ignore it. Here's a rule that bypasses another rule so we can h…
Some people literally have a decoy safeword to IGNORE, and then a REAL safeword just so that situations like this don't happen even if they're playing on the edge of risk-aware play. So, no, what he …
He disregarded your safeword, and so therefore he is completely unsafe to continue engaging with. I know it’s hard to see because of how you feel about him, but your feelings don’t change that fact. I…
OP, I know this might hurt to hear and you might not want to accept this word, I’m sorry but that was rape. you used your safeword (repeatedly), which means you withdrew consent. he continued, which m…
When you had your conversation, did you talk about limiting or no longer having sex after consuming alcohol? You don't trust him because he broke that trust by failing to listen to your safewords, an…
Hey hun, I've been in the BDSM community for years, and there's a word for this. Rape. Not non-con not rapeplay. This is actual rape. Once consent is taken away and the safeword is used that means you…
No. You don't dom if you're drunk as fuck, and you don't argue over safewords.
Hey so, your boyfriend assaulted you, you are completely valid in not feeling right with what happened. Just so you know I have the same kinks as you and more, he still assaulted you. If you post …
>I have done it and still I dont understand it. I love intoxicated sex and I like rough sex, but ignoring the safeword is simply not an option As someone who also loves intoxicated sex, if my partner…
He broke trust which is of paramount importance in that kind of relationship. Do not brush it off, at all. What he's done is violate you. Think carefully about whether you can continue in a relationsh…
I think that you're using the fact that y'all have kinky sex as an excuse for him to slip up on consent when it should absolutely be the opposite. You need to hold him to higher standards because he i…
Recommend you visit a website with a forum devoted to people who enjoy the dom/sub lifestyle: thecage.co They can give you a lot of insight as to the dynamics, safewords and expectations. But basicall…
Yeah. If he can brush away her wishes with "who are you to give me orders?", then why the hell would he suddenly start respecting any new safewords?
You don't know how to feel? You should be feeling angry, betrayed and violated! Trust is the bedrock of any relationship but if there's a BSDM dynamic, that trust is even more critical and he broke …
He broke your trust. Your safeword should be respected, full stop. Even if you’re engaging in CNC your safeword is your fail safe. Break up with him NOW. He raped you.
Or just use SAFEWORD for a safeword.
Yeah, I don't see any need to come up with alternative Red safewords - they should always be clear like that and you're breaking the scene at that point, so there's no point trying to hide it. I unde…
If you are doing things like choking and he's ignoring safewords then this is incredibly dangerous and he could actually accidentally kill you if this happens again. Its possible the alcohol played …
You used your safeword, and his response was "who are you to tell me to stop". Even if he had said that before, it wasnt after the use of the safeguard. He just gave away that he views you as beneath …
"I started using my safeword and told him it was hurting and to stop, but he didn’t." ONE AND DONE. He turned from "rough consensual sex" to sexual abuse. It turned into rape. Period. There is no com…
the thing about kink and BDSM is that it's CONSENSUAL. Safewords are important. If you invoked the Safe Word, he need to stop, no questions, nothing. "Dom mindset"? Screw that. A proper dom never …
BDSM relationships are built on trust and consent. You removed your consent for the scene when you safeworded and everything *after* that was assault. Good Doms don't assault people, they listen and r…