repulsed

Man, you Gen Z folks gotta get thicker skins! EVERY one of you have been assaulted. You have to learn to compartmentalize. That relationship is not this relationship. You broke that relationship o…

How much space do DA avoidants need when deactivating? — I (M,21, Secure) and my *girlfriend* (F, 21, DA), been dating for 6 months (however both agreed to not proclaim it a relationship yet) and right about 6 month mark she began deactivating (sudde…

As an artist, I now can see the reason I loved art, nature, and music so much growing up was a form of escapism from my emotionally neglectful parents — Can anyone else relate? I think when I was younger, getting lost in a painting or paying attention very closely to the natural world around me would help me find joy in a world where I felt extremely …

I'm learning myself — I'm in my 40s, and I came across Avoidant Attachment about 2 years ago. I made a post on FB about a dating experience I had. He was a great guy. Good job, good father, cool to hang around with, everyt…

(tw: trafficking) I can't interact in queer (or even fandom) spaces because of all the sex — *"Oh yay, someone recommended I watch this fun, light-hearted new movie about a gay couple! I sure hope it isn't actually an uncomfortable, borderline-rapey story about a 24/7 bdsm dynamic that goes p…

My (42F) husband (41M) grew a mustache that triggers my childhood trauma. He says I should get over it so he can do what he wants with his face. Am I being unfair in asking him to remove it? — I’ve been with my husband for thirteen years, and for most of that time, he has been clean-shaven. Recently, he decided he wants to try growing out a mustache "for a little while." The problem is not…

seeking unhealthy things to relive my trauma — TRIGGER WARNING: SA, SH, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, ABUSE ONLINE AND IRL, EATING DISORDER, CULT, i think thats it some basic info: 1. when i was 14 i was blackmailed, it was sextortion. i was assaulted, it w…

Struggling with a repulsion: I love my partner but feel physically trapped and repulsed by intimacy. — I’m looking for insight into a confusing cycle I’ve been stuck in for about three months. My relationship started approximately 7 months ago with a deep, natural connection and genuine warmth. Howeve…

[19F] Need help on how to get away from this "family trip" with my Nmom and GCbrother — I live in another city due uni studies, 3h from my narc mother(56yo); meanwhile my Golden Child brother(34yo) lives about 5h from her on another location (2h away from eachothers). My brother wheneve…

why does it make me feel so Weird — I can't describe it?? it just feels so Odd. I found a screenshot of a text that my dad sent not long after I saw him for the last time. Of course it was like "i miss you i hope to see you soon. I'm so…

Never had a relationship and I am F19 — I've never been in a relationship and I turn 20 in a few months. I don't mind it that much, but at the same time, I just wonder why. Elderly men keep flirting with me, but it seems like everyone my ag…

My mom doesn't get asexuality... — I (17F heteromantic ace sex-repulsed) came out to my mom as asexual a few months ago. I didn't know the term asexual until just a few months before that. I hardly even knew I was different at all beca…

My illness made me self-centred and I want this to stop - advice please! — I have recently come to notice that my current health struggles have made me extremely self-focussed and I wish to fix it. 8 months ago, a chronic illness I've had for 6 years that was well manage…

Hate is healthy — I hate to say that but it is. As long as you don’t act on that emotion. Don’t let it stress you. But I mean in a way you are repulsed by them. I guess for me it goes to sadness, anger and then peace. …

Intimacy problems,can you relate? — (M31) I am totally disgusted by sex. People assume I always have someone around because I’m supposedly good-looking, but I’m repulsed even just talking about it; I feel weak, vulnerable, dirty. I don’…

I can't have any serious conversation with my parents or my sibling — During my whole life, not even once, we, as a family, had any sort of serious conversation, discussing issues, solving problems together. Not once. I cannot imagine talking about my life to my par…

Why do I trigger hate in women no matter how comfortable I try to make them feel? (Friendship) — I’m a woman myself and struggle heavily with my gender. It started at home with my big twin sisters (cancer stellium) bullying me in childhood. When I want to build relationships with other women th…

I spent my childhood trying to keep my mother alive - was this normal? (30F) — I’m a 30F, living away from my hometown and parents for the past 6 years. I don’t really know where to begin, because I only recently started realizing that what I went through growing up might not ha…

Still in shock after multiple betrayals — My boyfriend (35) of 1 year the man I loved, who pursued me (31/F) relentlessly, who called me constantly, who made me feel safe and adored, had been cheating on me multiple times with multiple women.…

Still in shock after multiple betrayals — My boyfriend (35M) of 1 year, the man I loved, who pursued me (31F) relentlessly, who called me constantly, who made me feel safe and adored, had been cheating on me multiple times with multiple women…

How can I change for the better? — Warning: massive essay (life story) incoming. My profile should be open, so you could maybe browse what I’ve said earlier. They can be a little too much, and I can be judgmental sometimes. Some posts …

No contact is NOT about getting the ex back! It’s about truly moving on, breaking free mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It’s about freeing yourself and truly letting go. It’s not meant to be a …

What i alluded to at the end: I was very hot headed; i would not communicate properly and then either explode into an argument or just shut down; i was very nit-picky and always criticizing; i would b…

I mean yes, women are actively repulsed by me in just about every circumstance so it checks out. Unfortunately I don't know how to make the desperation "go away" so I guess I'm just fucked.

Guy I’ve been seeing asked me over and now I feel repulsed and don’t want to talk to him again. I don’t even dislike anything about him. This happens with every guy I romantically involve myself with …

My reply is a little darker, and it's that both anxious AND avoidant-coded behaviors started to irritate me when I encountered them in the wild. I would say that I am much tolerant of attachment anxi…

I am kind of freaking out. I’ve recently begun to talk to someone I met on a dating app with whom I have so much in common. We are both of the same religion, have the same values, similar humor and in…

I'm struggling so much with dating because I'm almost never (99% of the time) attracted to someone on the first date. So I continue seeing them because maybe attraction will grow. But even after a few…

Irl I am repulsed by people who are obsessed with me because it's like cool cool so you don't actually see me at all you're just projecting whatever you want to see onto me and I'll be discarded and d…

What do you mean bad teeth? Since if it's just his teeth were yellow, worrying about that wasn't a thing until Colgate and friends invented teeth whitening products. I remember seeing an add where a h…

I was seeing a guy for 2 months recently and thought things were going ok, continued to keep my options open and date other people as well. He seemed distant when we spent time together, pensive and l…

This guy sounds German. If that is the case, I’d recommend learning more about the norms in their culture for future reference. By American standards his behavior sounds disastrous, but by German stan…

I just replied to the other person but not a lot of people are that knowledgeable about the ace spectrum and may not be aware of the specific terms associated on it past folks that are sex repulsed or…

That is so childish, like highschool level drama. Didn’t it help you move on from her? I would feel repulsed by her.

Attraction will always be a major criteria. Although it is not concrete. You can not change human nature, spending more time with him will let you know which direction the relationship is going. If yo…

OP please look into asexuality. If you are actually wanting to repair you and your husband should have a serious conversation about it and see a professional on how to navigate it. Polyamory isn’t a…

Hmm. Gay = ok to cheat ? Sorry but not buying it. Anyway, how you handled this is very common, but has the least chance to “save” a marriage. The veterans here ( most ) would attest that the 2 big…

I had a lot of similar experiences when I started dating someone emotionally available and caring about me. I was repulsed by everything. My therapist asked me two questions that really opened things …

Honestly I don’t really know since I stopped tracking it that made it worse. Tried dating it was a disaster and I didn’t like dating and found myself repulsed. Gave up. I don’t mind the being alone…

I don’t get it. I left my ex four months ago, and he’s out sleeping girls.. hooking up with them.. when he told me he was living paycheck to paycheck lol. The night after I broke up with him, he went …

Almost 3 months post breakup. I gave it a mourning period of 2.5 months, then started sleeping around with strict limits (no fwb, no sleeping next to the person, no emotional intimacy). I have no in…

I feel being repulsed by a parent trying to be nice to you after a lifetime of mistreatment. I let my mom, who was a punching bag for my alcoholic dad and used her kids as her punching bags, back in b…

First off I hope you’re healing and doing better today and I’m so sorry that happened to you. My mom also accused my non bio mom of being a horrific monster who raped my mom.she then admitted in court…

You are so right here you have hit the nail on the head. We need to actually be repulsed by anybody who is not obsessed with us

if you really want to try to make it work bring it up in individual and couples therapy. Just know you may keep going towards the side you are on now where you continue to be repulsed by him. It seems…

You survive by doing things to make yourself feel better. Dating merely requires confidence. People are far more attracted to a confident person than repulsed by their physical flaws. As others have…

so sorry to hear that :( I was sex repulsed for a long time I usually found comfort in pieces of media targeted to children like nintendo games, some mangas, cartoons... but yeah online communities fo…

As a severely sex repulsed person who is currently in therapy to try and treat it, what was it that helped you overcome it?

Men and their specific sexual desires will never be parted. You're hoping this will change but it won't. You'll have to make your decision based on knowing that. I predict you will only get more and …

Wow, this is familiar. I remember him trying to kiss me and I involuntarily recoiled. It was just automatic from being so repulsed by all of his screaming tantrums and caring for someone who acted lik…

took all the words out of my mouth. i’m also a CSA survivor, among other sexual trauma. i was *also* trafficked, and i understand being sex repulsed. i empathize with the feeling. but you need to cu…

She’s now in the serial cheater category. This isn’t in any way a personal knock on you but at this point, this has become an issue of your low self esteem, confidence and self respect. She’s demonst…

And yet it can be seen as normal because it happens in office setting regularly. Is it concerning? Yes, if you are in the sights of such a person But isn't that a part of the point of this whole for…

Why was my first reaction to this repulsed? Knowing this was said by someone’s nex made me instantly recoil lol

I share his views and get him. He likes you for you. Once you get plastic surgery you have permanently changed something about yourself that makes you inauthentic, plastic, and the surgery cheapens th…

Actually I have had Mexican coworkers straight up act shocked that I like lengua and say that they can't do it and that it's nasty to them. I've also known white people that can't stand stinky cheese…

Obviously your choice but his choice as well if he wants to stay. Some men are repulsed by fake breasts, it’s like an uncanny valley thing.

I don't remember what was the most hurtful but the one that stands out the most has to be realizing my mom had assumed I'm a pedophile because I experienced csa, and I have to assume because I haven't…

Right there with you. I wanted nothing more than to become a wife and mother one day. I used to LOVE the concept and idea of Love. Now I feel disgusted by it and the thought of opening up again and …

Hes one of those men that are super nice to pretty girls but rude af to any poor girl thats not conventionally attractive. Hes shown his true colours, had you of met him how you looked before, you w…

You should talk to someone outside your family. You did nothing wrong and you’re not responsible for other people’s actions or choices. Your girlfriend told you she wanted to open your relationship, …

If he's such a great guy, he deserves better than a woman who's repulsed by him, no? Stop being selfish and do the right thing. Let him go.

Choking seems to be a big in thing right now. I don't get it. I'm repulsed by it. But it does seem to be a hot ticket item. That being said the man made a mistake and over estimated something. The fac…

Oh yes. Both do in different ways. My mom has the fake sickly sweet thing as well. She talks so nice to people outside of the family and people say oh your mom is so sweet! That “sweet” was never so…

In a previous relationship I was in your boyfriend's position, where my partner had previously been assaulted and wound up repulsed by sex because of it. I highly recommend you seek therapy. You're …

It seems like you are throwing in the towel as far as sex goes. Not because you're repulsed and traumatized by it (nobody who's acting in good faith blames you for your response to being assaulted), b…

This isn't a phobia, it's sexual trauma, and you don't do "exposure therapy" for sexual trauma. This is why you leave the therapy to the therapists. It's one thing to tell someone they should seek th…

Yeah I don't get how someone could think sex is a super integral and important part of a relationship while simultaneously being repulsed by the idea of sex (even with a partner they trust and love), …

Do you think laying onto them helped you at all? I read somewhere some people move on better b/c they laid out everything they had to say. I dont really have a strong urge to do that. But how come I …

Getting older is mostly learning truths that are hard to stomach. Like how common it is for people to dump their dying spouses, and even dying children. A person isn't what they tell you about thems…