Labour

"Labour" by Paris Paloma >It's not an act of love if you make her

Why would startup hire me as an intern? I will not promote — Hi guys, I recently joined a startup as a marketing intern. My focus is mostly creating video content for their TikTok and youtube. In the LinkedIn post, I saw that they had a lot of interest from…

We live in a culture that glorifies self-sufficiency and punishes inter-dependence and needs. That impacts what we start labelling as anxious attachment, and how we are encouraged to heal. — Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we cannot ignore that cultural norms have *always* di…

I wanted to discuss letters 3 to 5 of Moral Letters. — I just finished letters 3 to 5 of Letters From a Stoic by Seneca.  I wanted to summarise what I got from them, and talk with y'all about the parts I didn’t fully understand. If I misrepresented or mis…

Close friendship ending because I ( F26) became their (M 27) emotional punching bag — I (F26) have known my friend (M 27) since high school years. We’ve been like family to each other. There’s this saying - “ Familiarity breeds contempt”. I have wanted to avoid that in my relationship…

How to set boundaries with my parents ? — I am currently doing an internship as a system administrator at a large company. They asked me to keep working throughout the summer and several seniors have voiced their support on hiring me. My par…

Life has broken me: depression, bad health, shitty jobs, and an emptiness that even therapy can’t fix — Hey, I was in treatment for severe depression and it turned out a lot of it was actually untreated attention/concentration disorder. With the meds I’m more stable now — my brain only works when you f…

My father disabled me — TLDR: my father broke my bone, ring finger, for the sake of his ego. I refuse to accept his apology. ADVICE WANTED I (22m) have had a long history with my father abusing and violating me and then h…

For those who suffer from breakup — Five months ago, my ex left me. I’ve had a lot of time to think since then, and I wanted to share a few things I learned. I think this applies to both men and women. The biggest lesson for me is this…

Life has broken me: depression, bad health, shitty jobs, and an emptiness that even therapy can’t fix — Hey, I was in treatment for severe depression and it turned out a lot of it was actually untreated attention/concentration disorder. With the meds I’m more stable now — my brain only works when you f…

Does me projecting my insecurities mean I'm just like my narcissistic mother? — Before my period I get severely triggered and project my insecurities onto my partner. I get tired and don't do enough around the house and project it onto my boyfriend. It's not fair to him since he …

Reddit, decide for me — Options: A) leave her B) get contracts in place and work together C) divorce but date afterwards D) sue the shit out of her We met when we were 8. I moved away. We were close to being together w…

Served my husband divorce notice, now he has done complete 180 on his behaviour — I 34F and my husband 38M had arranged marriage in 2021, after which his behaviour has been consistently degrading towards me. For the past 1.5 yrs we didn't even had anything physical between us. A lo…

And no, they didn't ghost me or something. It was just that I wanted to live together, as a family, after a month or two. See eachother everyday, sleep together, cuddle and watch Netflix together. I w…

Text of original post by u/pineconewashington: Disclaimer - anxious attachment style is real, it creates distress in those who have it, and causes real strain to relationships. That being said, we can…

Thanks for your story. I realised my relationship with my FA was verbally and emotionally abusive and I ended up leaving him. We had a pretty intense trauma bond that kept me going back to him in the …

Honestly, if someone starts with a vanilla, boring message like that I will not even engage at all. I do not want to carry the labour of the conversation. For me, it needs to start well. I will also r…

"I enjoyed bombing mostly innocent civilians in foreign countries for their natural resources like oil, metals & labour, "Sucks to be them, Too bad they won't change their circumstances by being bor…

Divorce is more traumatic than the death of a loved one. It takes massive amounts of emotional labour even if everything is mutual. When it’s not, like your exes and my own, it is earth shattering. I …

I don’t talk about my shit Willy nilly bc I know I’m not special and it might bring up other people’s trauma. You just don’t do it when you don’t know people or the vibe well. I’m super down to talk a…

The closest to that is where the self centred assholes are granted amnesty and not persecution. These self centred assholes include billionaires who hoard wealth and create massively wasteful things …

Your Capricorn Sun has very little to do with your personality, it's the plotline of your life, up in the 11th House. So expect Capricorn themes to be present in the overarching story of your life. Bu…

He's looking for a way out but is too spineless to tell you. The birds are not the problem, his cowardice is. Tell him you're keeping the birds but don't dump his ass. Make him do the emotional labo…

So real. I became extremely good at problem solving and covering my own ass because I was petrified of making mistakes. Never knew when they'd freak out or react normally. Telling people when I need h…

It is so exhausting to always be expected to do emotional labour in our own support spaces.

My wife made no money for the first 15 years of our marriage. I paid the bills and our student loans, she stayed at home with our babies. I never questioned it or worried about it once. I love her…

Emotional safety is a major foundational element of a romantic relationship. If your partner is not able to regulate their emotions, you will have to either over-compensate by doing the majority of em…

I think so too, but then narcissists are not logical, my mom took the majority of my pay for years and made me do all the domestic labour and then wanted me to send her $600 a month for a year after I…

Agreed. I do get what OP is saying to a degree - but they lost me when they said their codependent partner left them to do all the emotional labour. That's uh.... Not a people pleaser then. A people p…

He used me for emotional labour after separating from his wife. He used me for 4 months, bought me gifts, complimented me, organised a gift for my birthday, cooked me lunch and dinner, showed thoughtf…

>Is this abuse Absolutely it's abuse! Emotional abuse with a side of manipulation and coercive control. The fact that he was only excited about you cooking for him, and not excited to be closer to t…

It is extremely unconventional from the pov of your parents' generation esp where the woman is just supposed to embrace pregnancy and labour and childbearing for the immense joy of it all. It is uncon…

>Until males can incubate in their body, this is the only thing that remotely equalizes the labour of biological children Dunno what's so controversial about this part in the comments. We're trying t…

OP you’re a good man and a good partner, going through pregnancy and Labour is no joke, and having children in general is gonna impact the primary care parent’s career by a good chunk. It’s time to gr…

Sounds like he lacks natural curiosity, thats a hard one. Only you know if this is something you can live with. If the cards are helping him improve when they arent around, this is your reality. You'l…

Sounds like he lacks natural curiosity, thats a hard one. Only you know if this is something you can live with. If the cards are helping him improve when they arent around, this is your reality. You'l…

It’s a combo: Oxytocin supports social bonding, maternal behaviour, labour contractions, and milk letdown, and is associated with nurturing feelings and behaviours. Women get spikes of oxytocin when …

And I think his idea that biology is the main driving force behind behaviour is key here, and it's going to create soooo many issues in the future. I fully believe he's going to use biology to justify…

> Would you say that if Servitude is the function of Mars, that Aries as domicile of Mars would actually be a good sign for such matters? Again, in historical examples I would agree; in terms of “serv…

I’m assuming this is from the home and emotional labour? Because I’ve also seen statically women drop a social economical tier after divorce. For example many go from middle class to low income.

Bingo. Add in the age gap and OP saying she’s a full time SAHM while working part time and this has all sorts of red flags waving around. “All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid Nymph, then a v…

About 6 months into the relationship. He attacked me while pregnant and caused my waters to rupture. I ended up having steroid injections and consultant care for the rest of my pregnancy as it made me…

You are NOT grounded. Work with your hands in earth. Work with plants, animals. Spend most of your days outside, no matter the weather. Move out of the city. Eat real, natural, alive food. Exhaus…

If 2nd house, 4th house and 9th house and their respective rulers are strong in the chart it would bring wealth into the native's life (wealth acquired through assets or family, etc). If 8th lord and …

I didn't, but some of my friends and relatives did. It baffles me till today, because despite the abusive monster my ex turned out today, in public he presents himself as what my culture understands t…

You are settling for someone who cant look after themselves. They are not helping themselves with their health, their finances, their home, their vehicle and they smoke weed or consume it in some way.…

yeah, i've had experience with vietnamese labour and services. too many bad experiences have put me off. they half ass and cut corners on everything.

The part you mentioned about emotional labour. I agree. I feel that a lot of the time the people on the other side of the table get blamed for being emotional labour when they mention their feelings o…

Challenge him to have his niblings for a weekend without you home. He needs to responsible for arranging prepping shopping and then hosting and all the parenting duties all while you are away. You do …

I'm very pro children, but I don't think it's reasonable for anyone, especially women, to be able to do it without a temporary career hit. And sacrificing some other organization standards around the …

You tried to show him you are not a sexual object, and especially not now that you're a mother. You succeeded. Don't come to the internet crying about your own major eff-up. And it would be perfectl…

>The advice I am asking more is on how to set clear boundaries and how to not let them emotionally blackmail me. You cannot control them. They will emotionally blackmail you. Boundaries are up to you…

the world in a developed country is too peaceful, afterall, the species is built for chaos, the existence of some people who prefer peace or rather (overwhelming) peace is just to counteract the chaos…

He can definitely do all the household management and a good chunk of the emotional labour.  As others have said, he can also work from home at a desk.  His foot is not the reason you want to leave.…

I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t like/want a dog. My dog was integral part of my dating process. Also how was the dog’s behaviour? Pet ownership in general can have stressful moments, it shoul…

career went to shit lol - lots of switching in the past, long periods of underemployment and being over-qualified or unemployment e.g being a labourer with a masters degree. I started therapy but dec…

Hyper Capitalism and Neo Confucianism + rapid development under a western neoliberal imperialist system which rewards labour exploitation

In addition to your reasons, the time of "child care" and being tethered/anchored to the home was without a doubt the worst part of parenting for me. Pretty much everyone says, "I don't need a mom/da…

I never heard that expression. It’s a good one, golden retriever. Those are the hard ones to leave because everyone says he’s so great. Some people have amazing owl or hawk like vision, to keep o…

>How can I over come this with him? You can't, because he's being intentionally dishonest and manipulative to get out of doing labour. You can't get someone who deceives you on purpose to stop lying…

You have perfectly described the two attributes holding back the Chinese population in Canada: a poverty mindset and resistance to adaptation. Canadians do not respect the nuevo riche. An example is …

I personally found it was a deliberate over-emphasis, whilst also often being a hint at preferred kinks and bedroom dynamics. Usually the women I met who looked for this, they had high pressure roles…

You have asked for help. He has seen you struggling. He knows how to help you, he just doesn’t care - more than that, he is actively hurting you. I’m not someone who will jump to “leave him” on post…