← Back to Resources

book

Come as you are

r/relationship_adviceUpdated 30 days ago
1
mention

Evidence

Citations (17)

I (31M) am currently in a sexless marriage with my wife (33F). Wwyd?

What do the household responsibilities look like? Does she do the larger share? The most common reason why women disengage with sex after kids is because they're doing the lion's share of the work. …

r/relationship_advicecomment4/4/2026
Introduction, Valuable Healing and Attachment resources

Introduction, Valuable Healing and Attachment resources — # Hi, and welcome! It is a pleasure to have you with us. Please come as you are, we encourage you to share openly and vulnerably. If you do not wish to share and just browse, you are welcomed here to…

r/HealMyAttachmentStylepost12/28/2021
Manifestation coach hired me and fucked me over

Yeah very shocking. Although her teachings didn’t align with me in recent times. But being a crook is not something i expected from her. And since her youtube channel is stagnant since eons and her co…

r/JosephMurphycomment6/25/2025
Does this have to do with my attachment style or is it normal?

I would definitely recommend (both of you!) reading Come As You Are - it might help give you some language for how you're feeling as well as alleviate some of the guilt around your new/new in this rel…

r/attachment_theorycomment10/30/2025
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

(I'm making the assumption that you're a woman. If no, please disregard.) Have you read *Come As You Are* by Emily Nagoski, PhD? If not, I recommend that you do. It explains the psychology of women's…

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/17/2026
Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here!

I didn't get loads of purity culture but the bit i got fucking sucked! Erica Smith has a good book just out, I also love Come As You Are.  Take your time and don't stress about your age! X

r/datingoverthirtycomment2/22/2026
My husband (29M) and I (29F) have a dead bedroom because he says I dont initiate

Have you read the book “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D (sex educator/researcher)? You may have “responsive desire” if you don’t think about sex until a prompt occurs (such as your husband ini…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/11/2026
Some men have questionable hygiene and it has made dating even more challenging than it already is.

I don’t think it goes both ways, women are socialised to be hyper focused on beauty/hygiene whereas men are conditioned to believe they just gotta show up. Come as you are was taken literally I did …

r/datingoverfortycomment3/15/2026
i (19f) cant have sex with my (19m) boyfriend and its causing issues

I would recommend reading the book “come as you are” ignore the click baity stuff on the front of it lol it’s actually very educational and good to read about those kind of things and i’ve read it and…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/27/2026
Have I 22F have destroyed my boyfriend 24M and I's sex life?

I relate to this a lot. When I was assaulted, about a year later I started seeing my therapist, and at the time the pressing need was to address an unrelated phobia. (I was only17) It was only later w…

r/relationship_advicecomment3/31/2026
I (31M) am currently in a sexless marriage with my wife (33F). Wwyd?

You have three options. Either invest in your own relationship and foster an environment where sex is on the menu again (read the book Come As You Are together. The fact that you actually tell us that…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/4/2026
r/relationship_advicecomment4/4/2026
I (31M) am currently in a sexless marriage with my wife (33F). Wwyd?

Women can have regular cyles, but still have an imbalance. Believe it or not, too little testosterone in women can have an effect on libido. That's just one possibility. Of course if it's not physical…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/5/2026
28 F 38 M - Husband has asked me to stop taking my antidepressants. How do I do this safely?

Don’t stop your meds. There’s 100 other things hitting your libido breaks right now not just the antidepressant. Read Come As You Are - by Emily Nagoski - he should read it too. He should also realize…

r/relationship_advicecomment4/7/2026
kinky boyfriend ruined straight sex for me, pedophelia ruined lesbian sex for me

You’re really brave. I know it may not feel like it. It takes tremendous courage and a hidden, but glimmering, powerful sense of self, to look at your sexuality and say “I deserve safe, healthy, plea…

r/CPTSDcomment4/7/2026
My girlfriend ‘35F’ and I ‘35M’ are struggling with vastly different libidos

Maybe both of you read Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski? It really helped me a lot with similar issues with my ex.

r/relationship_advicecomment4/10/2026
My girlfriend (F22) and I (M20) are in the happiest relationship ever but the lack of sex is killing me.

You should both take the time to read about sexuality. For her, she may find Emily Nagoski’s Come as You Are inspired and helpful. You might read Esther Perel’s work.

r/relationshipscomment4/12/2026