settling

ALWAYS the minute i read "I love him/her" in a post here my heart immediately sinks I'm deeply sorry believe me I'm and but bro...i know you know the answer. And i know it's not easy but she's very di…

How do you actually feel safe believing and knowing when it comes to an SP manifestation? — Brief context: I've studied the law on and off for 6 years. Tried to manifest 2 old SP's with varying success, then eventually having them both try to contact me, but I realized that I was shooting so…

For having struggled with an anxious attachment in an earlier relationship, how does it feel for you to become more secure in a much different or more compatible relationship you are in now? — I am quite curious to hear if there are others who are at a place in their life still in their own "wound care" (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of a previous unhealthy…

Feeling conflicted, I don't know if I don't love him and I am settling or if I love him and the "cons" are avoidant deactivation? — I 33F have ve been dating this guy 32M for 8 months. He's chased me for years and eventually recently I started to feel attraction back, he figured it out and kissed me. For some months I didn't feel…

Is "good on paper" a thing for guys our age? — I can't help but feeling like I'm good on paper and that's why my boyfriend is with me. I'm conventionally attractive, I make really good money, I take care of myself (and him) and my things, I'm kin…

The Shift at Age 30: Did you feel a stronger connection to your Ascendant or your Sun sign as you got older? — There is a common belief in astrology that we grow into our Ascendant sign as we get older, especially after our Saturn Return. Over the years of studying and observing birth charts, I've seen so many…

One month into Venus MD after quite tough Ketu MD…..I feel more down and burdened by life events….9th Venus, Kala purush… — I wasn’t expecting sudden changes as soon as Venus dasha started, still I didn’t think I’d feel so so so pathetic after Venus period set in….nothing seems fine, maybe worse… My Venus is in 9th house …

First Acid Trip (2 tabs) — This happened like a month ago and sorry if it comes off corny: At first, I was just lying in my bed, nervous. My roommate wasn’t back yet, and the walls slowly started to breathe and layer with col…

Should I help repay my sister’s debt to protect my parents? — I’m 31F. My sister is 29F and lives in Canada. We come from a lower middle-class Indian family that has mostly lived paycheck to paycheck. My sister always dreamed of studying abroad. She completed …

I hate my best friends boyfriend and I feel miserable — This is a small rant, but I just need to write it out to a bunch of strangers. Basically, my friend (21F) met her boyfriend (26M) a few months ago. They seemed to click almost instantly, which isn’t a…

HUGE tantrum from my NDad due to my recent success. Hilarious but also depressing. 🫩🥹 — My ndad is currently throwing a tantrum - screaming, stomping around, making threats etc whilst telling my mum and I that it’s my fault, and that I know what I did, therefore avoiding/refusing to expa…

My peeling vision and what really happened. — For months i felt stuck in life and sat in meditation asking my guides to reveal what is expected of me in this life. All I got every time was a vision of a fruit peeling, losing its skin. What i gath…

I feel like certain people latch onto me and drain my energy—how do I handle this? — Hey everyone, I’m brand new to all of this, and I’m hoping for some guidance. I’ve always noticed that, at different times in my life, I’ve had specific individuals who seem almost obsessed with linge…

my boyfriend always talks about my body as if he’s settling for it :( (20M 20F) — We’ve been together for just under a year.. these are really his only flaws when it comes to our relationship. But when he talks about my body he always frames it like i’m just ‘good enough’. Ofc he …

Has anybody here got crushed that their dreams didn’t work out and it finally worked out in ways you didn’t imagine? — I had a dream since school to have an experience of doing my masters in the UK or Europe mainly for two reasons - the exposure and the pure joy of having an experience of living there on my own terms …

Carl Jung wasn't a psychologist. He was a shaman. — Carl Jung quietly wrote one of the most profound esoteric texts of all time, at least in my own personal opinion. Seven Sermons to the Dead was written in 1916, privately shared between a handful of J…

Love after Love — I've been separated for seven months, after 23 years of marriage, a marriage where I slowly changed myself into the person I thought she wanted me to be. I wore a mask every day, suppressing my true s…

My fiancee (29F) and I (28M) moved abroad, now she is saying she wants to potentially stay forever. How do I tell her no? — My fiancee (29F) and I (28M) moved abroad, now she is saying she wants to potentially stay forever. Hello all. A few months ago, my fiancee (29F) and I (28M) moved abroad from our home country, we've…

realizing at 30 that i had a fucked up childhood and feeling angry about it — Throwaway account since I don't want family or friends to see. Idk where to even begin here because it's all so fucked and messed up. I've been in therapy for the last 7 months or so and it's finally…

Has anyone else felt like their memories or thoughts are being "read" in real time? — **Has anyone else felt like their memories or thoughts are being "read" in real time?** I've had moments where I feel like someone is accessing my memories as I'm experiencing them. It's unsettling, …

She Came Back — She came back. Not in the traditional, melodramatic sense. Not after begging and pleading, or compromising, or settling. And not because she was bored, or guilty, or having a weak moment. She …

I’m fairly certain I’m being abused, this last week has been ROUGH. Lives in MY home, I’m scared. — I’ve been in a relationship (me F34; he is M34) with this person for 10 years. Relationship never went anywhere, clearly. He lives in MY home and I’m afraid he won’t leave peacefully. I’ve been slowl…

the veil dropped — So, I am in a new layer of integrating my dimi break through (3 months ago), and the experiences and lessons (hell) I had are revealing themselves to me in new ways, expansive ways, however there is e…

anyone else? — About six months ago, I began noticing unusual visual phenomena. Initially, I believed I might be seeing drones surveilling me, especially given recent legal stress. I would observe lights staying abo…

manifestation + past changing — Hi to all of you!! It’s my first ever time writing something on Reddit. Well, I have actually been reading many stories to find courage, but I am new to being the one with the story hahah. Okay, so I …

Have you ever manifested a life you thought you could never have/thought you'd have to work very hard to get? (Please respond if so, I'm so emotional right now) — okay I am almost in tears, because I feel so lonely and behind (21) I feel so hopeless and sad because I truly am behind in life, not only that, I don't have the money to do the things I want to or ge…

Not over him — I broke up with him a year and a half ago after we moved to long distance for college. We were together for five years. I still cant imagine settling down with anyone else in the end. He still v…

I might be wrong but something changed when i stopped trying to calm my mind — I don’t know if this is just me or not but I've been noticing something lately. I’ve been around meditation for a long time (almost 10 years… stayed in an ashram for like 5 years too) so i’ve tried a…

800-1000ug+ FIRST acid trip complete ego loss most terrifying thing ive ever had — Before I get into this, I want to make something clear right away. I am not encouraging anyone to do this, and I am definitely not presenting this as some cool or impressive story. This was not enjoya…

Attack of astral parasites — Since I got sick with COVID‑19 in 2021, something in me changed forever. Nights became torment: I woke up convinced my heart had stopped for seconds. In 2022, the sensation turned into a presence. I f…

DMT While on LSD-Trip Report — Close to 10 years ago, I tried DMT (specifically, changa) while on LSD. I began to vibrate like a Tibetan brass bowl & the air turned bright purple around me. I closed my eyes & some language/code/sym…

On incubi and sexual possessions — It’s been five years since I first began sensing invisible entities around me. I underwent psychiatric treatment throughout all that time, and my life eventually stabilized. I finally got a good job a…

No crumbs. — I am done. I finally pulled the plug, and vanished from the grid without a single word. There were no long paragraphs and no final arguments, but instead, just a clean, hollow silence because the disr…

I want stability but I don't want to feel tied down to anything in life. Is it because of my Sagittarius placements? — About 7 years ago (at 15) I moved to another country and it pretty much started a whole cycle of instability in my life. I've moved again since then, lost a parent, have known periods of financial str…

It is REAL. It is easy. — First things first, I want to start with some of the things I did. \- manifested a change in my position at my job (was close to termination) \- manifested extra on tax returns \- manifested my dre…

Discovering who you are at 30+ because of trauma. — I am in my 30s and I feel like I’m having a really unsettling realization. A lot of what I thought was just who I am like the way I think, react, my personality, even some of my life choices like sch…

I miss my ex like crazy even tho they where not good for me how do I get over them ? — I’m (16) (F) and I don’t know if he even was my ex i didn’t even know his name and he only gave me his spam account never his main account…. maybe it was this savior complex I had or a hard time say…

Husband (28M) wants to cut off lifelong friend (28m) after he made AI porn of me (28F) How do we move forward? — My husband has been best friends with this guy since childhood, they grew up down the street from each other. I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, and I’ve known this friend the entire time. A few …

hung up on the idea of a person, why? how to get over it? 28F and 39M. — 28/F and 34/M, long term (6 years) and long distance relationship. secure, stable. or so i thought. long distance does its damage eventually, here and there. started feeling the damage last year. star…

The Lady — I was eating breakfast with my brother in our breakfast nook when I felt a presence. Looking outside I saw a bright figure in my backyard. It looked like a glowing Lady in a white dress. I was drawn t…

Solitude keeps me safe, Intimacy is a Threat. — I’ve reached a point where I have to be honest: I don't feel "happiness" when I’m getting to know someone new. I don't get the "butterflies" or the excitement. Instead, all I feel is a heavy sense of …

I hope this helps shift one of you — Try this exercise, it’s simple but might help take some of the shine off your ex. First, write down at least 3 things you love/loved about your ex. Here’s the catch though. It can’t be surface level t…

I [21F] am confused about my long-distance relationship [21M] because I do not feel the same way anymore - how do I go about this? — I have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now; We met 3 years ago online, and things had been great until about 6 months ago when I started having second thoughts. For …

To break up or not to break up? (F25) (m27) Great on Paper, But Something Feels Missing — Lately, I (25f) have been questioning my relationship with my bf (27m). We’ve been together just over 2 years. He is a really great guy- extremely loyal, has good values, listens when I bring up issue…

My 30/F Boyfriend 34/M asked us to get married and my parents want an engagement. Is it necessary? — My 30/F Boyfriend 34/M asked us to get married and my parents want an engagement My boyfriend and I have dated for a year and are plan to get married. We had a very serious conversation about it and…

Me (32M) Feeling uncomfortable with my girlfriend (29F) going on a “no boyfriends allowed” party trip? — Hi, I’m trying to reflect honestly on a situation that led to my girlfriend (now ex) breaking up with me, and I’d appreciate some outside perspective. I’m 32M, she’s 29F, and we were together for ab…

How can I (20NB) bring up relationship issues to my (20F) girlfriend? — I (20-NB) have been dating my girlfriend (F20) for a little over 2 years. She has supported me through having gender issues and mental health issues, and I have supported her through family and mental…

My therapist decided to end working with me after coaxing me to talk about my sexual relationship with my wife in more detail. — I started attending therapy because I was struggling with being a 'Girl Dad' after having a history of treating girls poorly and also because my wife acts more like a dependent then a partner. I fl…

Coolest experience of my life doing one month patterning — I did the one month patterning tape for the first time just there and had the coolest experience ever. As I started I noticed I got into focus 10 a lot quicker and a lot deeper than before and then I…

Cheek Fat Permanent? — At 19, I’m currently navigating a fat-loss cut while trying to figure out why my face isn’t reflecting the work I’m putting in. If you’re wondering whether cheek fat naturally disappears as you age, t…

First Lucid Dream — Had my first lucid dream this morning (around 6:44am) and I’m still kind of blown away by it. I was in a big open field near my old school, talking to someone, when I suddenly realized something was …

I had a really concerning dream just now and fear of my boyfriend didn't wake me up something bad was going to happen to me.. It started off in a house I've never seen before the kitchen was upstairs…

Something like 35% of entrepreneurs are suspected to have ADHD despite ADHDers being only 4.5~% of the population. Not fitting into normal job roles, setting unrealistically high goals, risk taking, …

If there is no sex and no commitment but two people enjoy hanging out, Is that not a friendship? Or at least a friendship where the guy is settling for the friend zone even though he wants more.

Imo you’re so self aware you’re settling with far too little. Because you’re being more critical of yourself than others.

i’m not avoidant, not anxious but i certainly feel like LRT’s aren’t my thing. the effort involved gets exhausting. the women in my life have been inconsistent. current one is wildly erratic in her e…

I think you know what you need to do but are still hoping he will change because what you two have is something special and he just needs time to become who you need him to be. You've been freed fro…

Hey, thanks for the response! I don't know if he was self aware or not, but he told me in our last conversation that he can't look past his work/life and that I deserve better. He also said that the …

Text of original post by u/BornEducation4428: I am quite curious to hear if there are those who are still in their own "wound care " (healing) of being outside of an anxiously attached situation or of…

I recently made this connection myself, I have adhd (diagnosed this year at 28) and although it’s been several months where I’ve had my diagnosis, I’ve just started coming to terms with how it’s affec…

Mine is triggered in phases. Overall avoidance is just deactivation. It feels like a complete disinterest, boredom, I am greatly distracted by other things. Avoidance with my SO will feel like guilt…

Have you gone to therapy about this? Sometimes we lock ourselves up and can't see the forest for the trees. In addition, I also highly recommend Lori Gottleib's Marry Him: Settling for Mr.Good Enough…

But don't you think by settling for someone who isn't right for you, it's just going to fall apart later and you'll be in the exact same situation several months/years down the road?

You don’t love him you love the fantasy of him you created. You probably forced yourself to feel something because you really want to have a child and subconsciously you know that time will eventually…

I grew up under almost the same conditioning. It took therapy for me to realize something unsettling: for years, I was missing entire chances to feel like myself. Somewhere along the way, I learned h…

Mmmmmm I think maybe a bit. I do agree it can be unsettling if you all were texting a lot at the beginning. I’d see how it plays out once you’re back in town!

So I was in a relationship for over a decade with a guy who called himself an introvert and someone who needed a lot of alone time. Our entire relationship, my consist complaint was that we didn't spe…

Day seventeen of my dating break. So far I've learned/am working on 1) not staying in relationships once I find an incompatibility/not settling for an absence of red flags.  2) Getting better at s…

Stop settling. Break up w this bum and start healing. Also, you sound kind of desperate with trying to find your partner which is how you ended up in this situation in the first place.

it does feel like settling. and makes sense bc a part of me has been "scared i'll be alone for the rest of my life," so... damn! supportive reflection and thanks for the boost of confidence <3

I 28m have my life together, with my own home, highly educated with a masters degree in IT and I am making a 6 figure income however now I want to settle down, so I was thinking about settling down wi…

This is more of a vent. I’m not on the market right now due to a recent break up, but I’m fighting the urge to throw myself out there because I wanna make out, not even sex. I’m hanging out with fri…

I think it depends on your philosophy on life! Most people will avoid risk and settle. But I don't think that is for me. I don't want to settle. I want to push myself to get the most from life and fac…

I’ve had a lot of crazy life experiences. Settling down seems like the last unknown in some ways.

Like I don't want it to. I hate being a person who has expectations, especially on a commercial holiday, right? Like, ew. Ew, ME!!! But let's be real... it IS a day that makes note of how someone you…

my last boyfriend had cheated on his ex-wife twice while they were married. he and i started dating a year after they broke up and he was in therapy. we were together 5 months before he cheated on me.…

This is unpopular opinion, but I wouldn’t consider what you describe as avoidant. You state you think you can find someone better, and there are a lot of other options, but you’re interested in sett…

These are the reasons: \- you are letting him set the pace/intensity of the interactions when you're the one that wants more and he doesn't. It sounds like you're settling for scraps of affection/wha…

32F and tired of the apps. I went out on 11 first dates last year, the longest guy lasted almost 3 months. The 3month guy I got over him pretty quickly but it’s the one I went on a date after him that…

A piece of general advice for profiles is not to write something that makes it sound like you already have your future planned out and just need someone who's going to be fine being dropped into YOUR …

I've heard of men (even those who claim they want an ambitious woman with direction) swiping left when a woman's profile makes her seem too rigid so I'd just try to avoid that vibe. What about writi…

100% this, sounds like OP need to reconsider their perspective on this. Sounds like OP is settling for a guy or relationship that’s “good on paper” but is seemingly missing one of her “nonnegotiables…

I don't feel unhappy with him at all. I'm very with him, but I definitely struggle with accepting unconditional love and so verbal affirmations help me. Recognizing not everyone is good at verbal af…

Lemme give you my perspective, as a good-on-paper, self-sufficient 37yo woman… Yeah, he’s settling. My (43m live-in, avoidant af ex) told me at one point that I was ‘likely the best that he could ever…

Oh this makes me sad. I don't think I'm settling at all. I have options, but I do very much want to be with my partner.

Your post comes off like you’re settling big time in addition to him not being able to meet your emotional needs, just fwiw with the “I make really good money and take care of myself (and him)” part. …

34M here. I’ve learned incredible things this year. Number 1 - I’ll stay single until I’m able to 100% give myself to a woman, because SHE deserves it. In my teens and twenties, I was consumed by my…

You can't know if he's settling or not, and you shouldn't care as long as he treats you well--whether or not he's settling is immaterial if your relationship is going okay But to answer: **Men over …

Sounds like you’re the one who is settling without realising. In my last long term relationship my friends and family listened to me speaking exactly about my relationship and doubts in the same way y…

Some people just aren't very emotionally expressive. They express their love in other ways, like acts of service, physical affection, spending quality time with you, checking in on you, and so on. Tha…

Another thread in the sub has a survey re: settling, reproducing my answers here **Men over thirty: are you settling?** No **Are you looking for the one who is 'good on paper' and you're okay if sh…

Man over 30 here: I settled in my 20’s. I’m not settling now. I want what i want and I’m willing to find it. Also, he’s a man. Good sex? Good food? Good togetherness? He’s not settling, he’s at peace…

I'm glad she was patient with you too. Perhaps you did something early on that allowed her to feel secure in a way OP has not gotten to feel, and that made her more comfortable working with you on thi…

Two things come to mind: 1. A lot of older people stop chasing that emotionally charged sort of love because it tends to end in disaster. Honestly, I’m reaching that point at 35. I wouldn’t call that…

There’s no point settling for bad sex in a casual situation. It’s not hard to find someone who wants casual and cares about your needs and pleasure. 

I don't think "settling" should necessarily be conflated with *emotional immaturity.* You've said that your boyfriend "openly struggles with the emotional stuff," so if there is a lack of emotional c…

20's was for settling.

It doesn't sound to me like he is just settling. With the exception of him not being particularly emotionally expressive, to me it sounds like all the hallmarks of a relationship on the right track. B…

I don’t know if people are settling, like what does that even mean. That you’ve dated and experienced ups and downs and you have a relationship that’s pretty darn good and want to keep it, even though…

This is very true. I think I take off with that narrative because I don't get those words, so I assume those feelings don't exist and he's settling. You're absolutely correct.

She always told me early on that she felt safe with me and no, I never felt or made her feel like I was settling for her. Shes great, and its not that I dont try or havent tried to show her how specia…