book
placeholder
Evidence
Citations (54)
Great answer! You nailed so many points that I was thinking when I read that too. OP, I get how you feel here, but it's just unhealthy to work from the premise that you need to "prove" or "earn" anyt…
What does soft-skills mean to you? And how do you get it? — Asking as an asian american man Is this really a skill or a placeholder for something unattainable?
My divorce and a warning to everyone that is seeing red flags — In 2024 I found out my wife of almost 13 years had been, at the very least, emotionally cheating on me for at least two years. One day I woke up to her being in a bad mood and treating me just awful, …
I (F28) am still in love with a married friend(M29) and Idk what to do? — I (F28) had a year-long friendship with a guy (M29) that wound up turning into a casual/fwb dynamic for 8 months after he broke up with his long-distance wife. We talked and saw each other damn near e…
How to get out of the "contract" — I (32f) just got out of the cycle (again, but maybe I'm still in ?). so he (26m) has discarded me about 12 times in the past 2.5 years (the good phase first lasted 2 months and kept getting shorter wi…
Not all women will engage in situationship. I’d argue that confident and secure women who aren’t looking for something casual especially won’t entertain this type of situation. Unless they don’t take …
This! Don’t be a placeholder..for anybody! You are much more worthy than this. Mine called me egotistical for being proud of my gym gains and sharing my friend’s kind support for the work I’ve been pu…
Unfortunately for me, I had to learn the hard way that my relationship was one-sided. I was too into them than they were into me. Which ended up with me getting broken over text after a year into the …
I just got out of a 10yr relationship, we still talk and have talked since we broke up. We broke up due to distance and needing to become our own people after having been in a relationship for so long…
"be with someone who sees you as you are" Maybe he liked the idea of you, rather than you as a person. Like you were just the some romantic placeholder for him.
Sounds like you're just a placeholder op. Probably thought the best way to get over a divorce was to date another woman. I would really evaluate this relationship especially since you want children an…
I think you should tell her this before you go on a date with her because it sounds like you like the attention she gives you and you just want some action, even though you don't even desire her like …
It’s a phenomenon that many women experience. I suspect that they don’t want the pressure to commit and have a family. I am not going to be a placeholder until a man finds a more suitable mate. Well, …
What if they are your placeholder?
If I want something I focus on it. Placeholders burn time and energy. Both are finite resources.
He is literally hiding behind religion and telling you to your face that you're a placeholder until he finds a Christian woman. And let's be honest, he was saying "I'm might cheat on you but I had to…
100% I want to be loved, seen and understood. Why waste time on a placeholder? I would be horrified finding out I was a placeholder and could never do that to someone.
People definitely have types, but telling someone on a first date that their “ideal” is the opposite of you is just poor social awareness. Most people understand that attraction is broader than a chec…
its just a placeholder for any negative effect you can have without being at fault and which can make u self concious. replace it with something else if the word disability makes u unable to think rat…
For me personally i never experienced someone not coming back. They all came back at least once but i was never with a healthy, secure person they all had some kind of issue and they just came back be…
This was such a hard post for me to read, bc it seems like you have built genuine trust with your partner, and have felt like it was a good relationship for you. My current partner of 3 years had a …
ENM person here. Back when I was doing OLD, I made it very clear what I was into and looking for. It kept my inbox pretty empty, but I didn't want to try and sprinkle it on like a surprise garnish …
Yeah, she’s just a placeholder that looks good on paper… I would never settle for this no matter how much I loved him
Thank you for this. I'm only on day 2 and it hurts like hell. The other thing that my sister shared with me related to #2 and #7 is that the vision of the future is just a manifestation of the love …
If you search through this sub, you will find hundreds of stories that illustrate why it's not a good idea to date someone who is not yet divorced. You are a placeholder.
Or "I think I'm finally ready to date for real. I realized I need to stop wasting time, and start looking for someone i want to settle down with and have children with. You really helped me get throu…
I made a comment above regarding my experience as being someone's emotional support/ placeholder for 2 years until their divorce was final and they basically discarded me because now they "could date …
What are you doing dude? Why are you doing it? You are with a married woman who is definitely not choosing you and you will be unceremoniously dropped when the divorce is final because “she moved too …
He's cheating, point blank period. Either with his guy friend or some girl. His energy is screaming "He's not that into you anymore." Please don't be a placeholder for this man.
You’re her placeholder because this guy she is screwing is married with kids and there no guarantee he will leave his family for her. So when that falls apart she has you fall back on, that not love t…
Your friend has low standards but you don’t have to. If he was super into you he wouldn’t have acted that way. You deserve someone who truly cares. Don’t waste your time with someone who’s just going …
This. Man, I just dont understand how grown ass people can behave like this. I know, most likely unresolved stuff inside them or simply toxic traits but come on, they got to have some self-awareness,…
She may have been a best friend at one point, but sounds like she lost her side of that somewhere along the way. She for whatever reason turned elsewhere, and is so carefree about it that she’ll do it…
I want to know too. I'm left feeling like a placeholder for someone who made a lame excuse, so they can breakup with me and go back on dating apps. Why go through all the months of leading me on when …
Basically what you found on her ChatGPT logs is that you're a placeholder, someone she is utilizing because you're available, a person she is settling for and would leave you if someone more interesti…
You are a placeholder. A backup. She doesn't value you as the one and only. You deserve better than her.
Upon reading this, you seem to be a placeholder for her, which is not something anyone should ever be. There is no need to try and prove yourself. I would recommend cutting your losses and moving on…
RUN. You’re literally just a placeholder until someone new comes along. I know it’s a cliche cause no matter what the situation is people on Reddit always tell you to break up but this is genuinely on…
Oh come on, give us a break. She disrespects you to exes, she makes you sound like a total dweeb on a social net, she declares your only basically a placeholder until something better comes along alth…
Him giving attention to other women means it's over. If you stay you're only going to get hurt. He doesn't seem to respect you or know how to solve anything with you. He doesn't want to grow with you,…
no girl ik ur so right😩i just feel dumb asl for wasting my time n body on a man who knew i was just a placeholder the whole time smh😂thank u for reassuring me n saying im enough tho i fr needed to h…
Most likely will find someone else especially if they're dating quickly and not healing like you that person will just be a placeholder. When/if they do reach out you need to ask if you want to be 2nd…
Make sure that he doesn’t want children. If he does - he’s just using you as a placeholder until he finds a younger woman. Statistically - most men want children. I try not to set myself up for heartb…
Leave him. You are a placeholder in his life. He is happy as things are. He maintains access to his wife because they are not divorced AND he has a side piece he doesn’t have to work to keep secret an…
Placeholder aka “Transition Girl.”
I want nothing more than to be a mom. I got my eggs frozen almost four years ago to try to increase my chances. I'm finding the same as you though. Most men my age have kids and don't want more, or ju…
2 to 5 relationship is alive.6 or more hit the door. Wake up sweetheart and smell the coffee,you are just a placeholder. Tell him flat out,no more sex until you are living together and engaged.,but do…
A 33 year old man does NOT have a 24 year old girl best friend. He has a girl friend who he’s hoping to make his girlfriend. You’re just a placeholder until she says yes.
Do you feel she is genuine in her response? Maybe its just your description but she sounds meh about it. Like oh I got caught, let me just go through the motions of appeasing you by blocking them. Lik…
So the moment your gf left, you thought it was a good idea to do this? Also, you don't "I really didn't have any plans on cheating." like, either you planned or doing so or you didn't, there's really…
You're mourning the idea of him. It turns out he wasn't at all that kind of guy. As I am now in my 30s, lots of my guy friends fall into that trap of porn addiction. As for dating apps, this just t…
That's the thing about dating multiple people is you can always meet someone else. I do think you've communicated enough, and that perhaps you should take some time to reflect on if there's something …
I think that’s exactly the issue I am struggling with here. I like her but not enough for some reason to be willing to wait for her divorce to be finalized. It sucks to acknowledge but placeholder is…
I disagree.... is settling also replacement?? There are way too many people abandoning their current partner for their ex, There are way too many people thinking about their ex while having sex with …