communicating

Absolutely nothing. But if something bad happened it was my fault...we never really acknowledged my relationships (had none in HS, but later). Who they liked depended not on character but who kissed t…

Helping my partner — I (40f) looove my partner (36m). We've been together almost 9 months. When he isn't triggered, he presents as very secure. Loving, consistent, communicative, vulnerable, empathetic, self-reflective. …

how do you manage cache browser control- after version update? — here's the problem- obviously we don't want to screw up our clients when they are working, so a new version should be in a manner that won't cause conflicts in the previous version, which has loaded …

You know what sucks about being in the process of healing your attachment type? Dating someone who has no idea they have an insecure attachment and you're just wasting all that hard-earned security on someone who doesn't care — I've been fearful avoidant most of my life, and it's helped me in abandoning very healthy partners because I was too blind of my issues. For 2 years now I've been working on myself and seeing huge s…

What makes an anxious attached person feel loved? — I’m a dismissive avoidant in recovery. That means I have been working on myself. I would consider myself slightly secure but not secure enough to call myself secure Anyway, my boyfriend is anxious…

Can a FA-DA relationship work? — My partners have been dismissive avoidant or fearful avoidant, so I have always leaned anxious ig. In my last relationship, I felt secure at the start, it was nice, we set boundaries.. till it happene…

Experienced ego dissolution and timelessness while a friend spiraled into a bad trip believing we were communicating through “waves” — I wanted to share a recent experience because the contrast between my trip and my friend’s bad trip was extremely interesting, and I’m curious if others have seen similar dynamics in group trips. We …

Do you think we’re all in the same physical reality? — Or are we just communicating from other dimensions via the interwebs? The interdimensional webs? Some of this reality seems perfectly suited for my experience. Songs, synchronicities, etc. it all seem…

F**CKKKKKKKKK — I don’t really have anywhere to say this, so I’m just putting it here. I was with someone for a long time who I truly believed was my person. From the beginning, there was just something about her th…

Experiences With Cosmic Entities. — Hello everyone! This post will be a little bit different, as i wish to dive into odd encounters that i had with different beings, that surprisingly helped me out a *lot* - more than i could have possi…

I (28F) am tired of constantly having to ask or tell my partner (28F) how to love/care for me. Do I just move on? — I’ll start off by saying, I completely understand we have to communicate with others on the ways we want to be loved and cared for. This isn’t that anymore. My gf and I have been together for a littl…

Leo with both Moon and Ascendant in Cancer with a Taurus signature - why do i feel weird, stubborn and kinda emo? — A Leo but with mostly Earth/Water fixed influences ( Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer). Barely any Air elements and maybe thats why I suck at communicating and I feel kinda slow. Not much Fire either. Peopl…

Differentiating deactivation vs genuine incompatibility — I (30F) have been dating my current partner (28M) for nine months. We spent a lot of the relationship long distance (everything except the first month) and my partner is now moving to the state I live…

Please share your CE5 experiences! — Hi guys, I'd like to hear some of your experiences where you initiated contact and how long it took you before it worked and so on. I've had some weird experiences in life but none of them so direct …

Sexual Vampire — I have no idea where to turn- and I never thought I would posting something like this. But here we are. 5 weeks ago I met a man at a bar. He was a bit younger than me, the same age as my first love. …

I wanted to be recognized as an artist — (Non native English speaker, sorry for mistakes) I had 1 dream. Im an artist, i do art. Ok, this is ego talking, but anyway, art is all I do Since i’m a Little girl. I’ve been told I was good at it, …

(trip report) Telepathic communication through high doses of psilocybin — Dose: 8g (Myself), 5g (Brayden, first time), others 3–4g Setting: Friend’s house, nearby park, neighborhood walk Time: 3:00 PM – 9:00 PM Participants: 5 friends So a couple years ago me and my …

For the adult children with emotionally immature parents.. now what? — Okay, we've established our parents are emotionally immature and neglectful. They don't care to know us as adults but they expect us to care about them. Now what? Is this just how it is now? …

Are aliens helping us or hurting us? — For the past two or so years Ive been stuck in this very strange alien encounter where entities claiming to be aliens have taken over my mind, specifically my internal voice and imagination, but they …

Am I (26f) throwing away my relationship with my (30m) boyfriend? — ​ I 26/F have been with my BF 30/M for almost 4 years (june). I have been unhappy for at least 2 of these years. we have talked it out multiple times, he usually cries and becomes very upset w…

Wish it had gone different — A few months ago I put myself out there after ending a very long marriage. Messaged with a guy a few years older, it turned sexual pretty quick. I hadn’t had anyone make me feel wanted, nor had I been…

Communicating stuff to partner — So my relationship with my partner is pretty good but most of the time I catch myself always checking my phone to see when she texts back . She talks to me everyday but I feel like I’m losing my indep…

07/2013 — I may have finally found a place to talk about my experience, but if this doesn't belong here, I'm sorry and please point me in the right direction to another thread. First, thank you to anyone who …

Near death and OBE's are not Hallucinations — Near death and OBE's are not Hallucinations Somebody who is able to recall accurate details during their resuscitation which many doctors have confirmed is clearly not a hallucination if they are des…

He broke up because of my anxious attachment, how can I Deal with This? — Hey. My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. I am 26 years old and it was my first relationship. It only lasted for 3-4 months sadly, we knew each other for 6 months in total. We started textin…

Questioning ending a long term relationship — I (25F) am starting to question ending a long term relationship with my boyfriend (26M). We have been together since December of 2019, so about 6.5 years.  To give some background, I moved across the…

I’m fairly certain I’m being abused, this last week has been ROUGH. Lives in MY home, I’m scared. — I’ve been in a relationship (me F34; he is M34) with this person for 10 years. Relationship never went anywhere, clearly. He lives in MY home and I’m afraid he won’t leave peacefully. I’ve been slowl…

Anyone here have some sort of contact with NHI and willing to speak privately about it? — I am someone who is both fascinated and want to learn more about NHIs around us. I myself have not had any direct contact or communication, at least from what i can recall. Is there anyone here who wo…

I Communicated With the Moon — I'm searching for some anecdotal evidence of anyone else who's seen 'the eye of the moon' on mushrooms, but I can't find anything so I'll post my experience here. When I was tripping, I laid outside o…

The point of no return — Girlfriend of 9 years ended things with me a few weeks ago, but we were still doing okay. Doors weren't closed, and we didn't end on something shattering. We were still communicating, just a little bi…

[Update] Is there a good way for me (21F) to tell my partner (24M) that I’ve never enjoyed having sex with him? — Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/s/nd7fe72m8L First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who commented and gave me advice. The past few years of my life have been p…

Seeing my family in astral projection: mind creation or real entities? — Hey everyone, I’d like to share something that’s been happening to me and hear your thoughts. Whenever I manage to leave my body with awareness, I usually get up from my bed. Many times the house is …

My ex (30F) and I (30nb) broke up 6 months ago and I want to vent about it — After dating for almost 2 years and living together for 6 months my ex broke it off and I had to move out. I am a trans nonbinary person (AFAB) and the day we met my ex knew I would be pursuing gender…

Broke up with my girlfriend and now meeting we’re meeting in a few days. What should I expect? — I (24m) recently went through a breakup with my girlfriend (21F), and I’m trying to figure out how to handle things moving forward. We had a really good relationship overall. She was someone who genu…

Went on my first date in 16 years and I have ALOT of questions! — so I met this very beautiful woman on Facebook dating. something that I have not taken too serious in the past. I have to say, the attention and validation feelt nice. Especially after escaping an emo…

Shifting realities or timelines? — I need to jump to a different timeline. One where I didn’t lose the love of my life. It is quite literally killing me inside. I’ve considered dmt as I have heard of those experiences and encounters wi…

How do I handle recurring mood shifts and communication issues in my relationship? — I (22M) have been with my girlfriend (20F) for a bit, and I keep running into the same issue. It feels like small inconveniences or minor things can completely shift her mood, and when her mood drops…

25m 23f need some advice — Hello there I don’t know whether or not to break up with my girlfriend. We have been together for about a year and half. There’s nothing wrong with the relationship and we are mainly happy and get alo…

Am I just...a bad patient??? — Wish I had a better title, sorry! Seems real general. To sum it up, I started seeing a therapist maybe a year ago. I saw her for ,, maybe 4-5 months every other week I believe? I don't know if that's…

F22 jealous of my partners (M21)friend — I’ve dated my boyfriend for over a year. About 3 months ago he reconnected with an old friend of his. I didn’t mind at first, until I started feeling insecure. I started feeling like he prioritized us…

Astral projection is not an illusion of the mind — ​ Astral traveller is somebody who leaves this physical dimension behind, and establishes full waking conciousness, on another level of reality. and this level of reality is very real, its as …

Anyone else struggle to get doctors to take them seriously? — Went to the hospital last night with 7-7.5/10 pain with bursts of 8-8.5/10 pain (I do hate that pain scale, but its the best way I can describe it). It was some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my …

AI is your friend. — I am an expat in a foreign land, and fell in love with a delightful woman here. The first month was glorious and beautiful, but soon after she began exhibiting many of these traits (before I even knew…

How do I F 23 go about ending a relationship with my boyfriend M 24 ? — TL: DR \- boyfriend used to be nice \- now he is lazy and cold \- doesn’t call me or update me on his day \- doesn’t try and make conversation with me \- won’t compliment me incase it gives me a …

Responsibilities being pushed onto me and it’s exhausting — All the adults in my life are incapable of doing simple things such as cleaning after themselves, cooking properly and communicating. I have just noticed this is why I get so irritated and agitated. …

Why is my mother being cruel to me during an already difficult time? — Sorry, this is going to be a long one!  Let me start off my saying that I love my mother. She and I used to get along for the most part. It always seemed like we would get along great during the day …

Thoughts versus intentionally thinking. Are they both equally unimportant and ‘not me’? — I know that thoughts are just thoughts and that they come and go, passing in and out of our consciousness randomly throughout the day. And ultimately, thoughts have no real meaning or value (although …

I’m 32F and my partner is 37M, been married for 3 years and together for 6. I am looking to separate due to no physical intimacy from his end. Anyone been through something similar? We have tried communicating. — Hi everyone, I’m looking for some honest advice and perspective on my situation. I’m currently married, but things haven’t been going well for quite some time. One of the main issues is the lack of a…

I go back and forward between ending my relationship every week, even though it's essentially perfect — My boyfriend \[22M\] and I \[22F\] have been together for over two and a half years. It was originally going to be a summer fling. I had gotten into a different university and was planning on transfer…

A green elf in a purple hat told me to stop smoking, Logic vs Hallucination — Hello, first i apologize for a slightly long post and that the logic flow is not perfect, I am still thinking a lot about what happened. I am really looking for someone who could talk to me about thei…

Identity unlocked : How to recover your energy after being ghosted — Recovering your energy after being ghosted is real work — because ghosting leaves open psychological loops. Your mind keeps searching for an explanation that never came. That’s where the “energy drain…

No Contact does not mean literally no communication. How unmannered and uncivil it would sound if a person asked you "How are you ?" as you were exiting your office, one evening after work. You should…

Thanks for all of the above. I can relate in that I may on occasion turn inward a bit when I’m super tapped out socially or like physically don’t have the reserves left, but I socially exhaust a lot l…

This explains how I let things get so out of control with avoidant types as I’m an introvert and quite secure independent and confident but after a year I started feeling like the relationship wasn’t …

I think it really depends on the partner and how willing they are to communicate. In my last relationship I was avoidant leaning secure and my partner was preoccupied. There were certain things I thou…

You can ruin potential connections and negatively impact your social life this way, if that's any important to you. As kindly as I can, this is is a common misconception people can have about avoida…

I know this is difficult to do, but my advice, as an anxious who's moving towards secure, would be to stop texting and calling. It's only been a few days and you know that he was having phone problems…

Thank you so much for this. I am really hurting. Yes, he messaged me On Sunday evening my time saying “Hey baby!! I’m back, I’m so sorry for not being able to communicate.. I know it’s been a little…

How does that show up for you? What kind of thought patterns do you notice yourself having? How are you behaving? Are you communicating your needs? I find the FA a really interesting type so I'd lov…

I don’t know about anyone else but when I’m deregulated I don’t know how to talk—full on freeze mode. Especially with conflict. I honestly need space to collect my thoughts. Communicating this is biz…

I think it comes down to when those comments are brought up. If someone is assessing you this way without a conflict thats really cruel. I feel on reddit it appears only in connection with a breakup …

As a previous DA, I did not feel guilt once I disengaged from someone because I had reasons for not wanting to be with them anymore. Those reasons may be very immature they may not make a lot of sense…

According to the science, DAs are triggered/hurt by criticism, conflict and closeness. My DA ex also expressed feelings of guilt when he would hurt me. He would actually say “I’m sorry you feel hurt b…

The first question is, why does the drugs trigger you? What are you imagining or feeling when they talk about it. Logically, it's just part of their past. If it was something that could happen again o…

I’m not a DA, but I have dated several and I also have a long term relationship with a securely attached introverted person. When my DA exes wanted space, they didn’t just physically distance themse…

I think the solution is for us to be more in tune with our feelings. Recognizing what situations and scenarios usually lead to needing space and shutting down. Then being proactive with communicating …

I think it all depends on whether or not you are able to communicate your need for space. If you just disappear without saying anything to the person you’re traveling with, dating, or communicating wi…

T H I S. Introversion is introversion. Needing space is needing space. *Communicating it* has nothing to do with intro or extra version. It has to do with attachment.

People aren't mind readers. Get better at communicating your needs and they won't take it so personally. I sympathize with it being hard, I remember not realizing I was pulling away until others point…

Kudos to you for gaining self awareness and thinking about how your behaviors can affect the ppl around you!! This is a major accomplishment and a big step towards becoming secure!! I’m wondering if y…

I'm a FA that leans anxious, and someone going quiet only interprets abandonment if there is a sudden drop off of otherwise normal consistent communication. It's that inconsistent dynamic that creates…

Same. 1.5 years with a dismissive avoidant were the most painful period of my life other than my childhood. I’ve been married to a secure guy for the past 21 years and he’s great at communicating an…

This is so true and I never viewed it that way! My ex showed contempt during moments when I pushed for inter-dependence, such as holding him accountable or asking for transparency. He later said to me…

I agree with this, but also want to point out some DAs don’t actually communicate a boundary. I had two ex’s who were DA and I can lean anxious. Both were very inconsistent in communicating “I need sp…

Yeah when I read >it seems annoying to have to justify myself like that I thought “this person thinks communicating clearly is ‘justification’” That’s kinda sad, communication is a natural part of…

You're not doomed, it just requires a lot of internal work. Being emotionally vulnerable can be hard when you're insecure because of how unsafe it feels, but that emotional vulnerability is what creat…

Thank you for your insights, but how exactly is the “allow the space” - not texting and/or replying to their chats? We are actually back together, but the communication has dropped, the distance is …

Ahhh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for your sympathy : ) How did you handle no contact? I found the short, sharp disconnect (after something that had initially seemed so promising) extremely diff…

That's so funny, I actually wrote "I envy that level of delulu" and changed it to confidence. >It's funny that you mention confidence because that's what this person said. That DAs don't have the con…

Thanks qgain for such in-deep advices, I really appreciate that. No, I don't know for a fact that she's a DA, that's just my conclusion from reading different online resources (includong this sub). Th…

Of wanting to be in a relationship, if he was ready for fully committing, and he was EXTRA scared of hurting me. He knew he liked me but being in a relationship felt stressful. And I was able to stay …

I see you're posting again. No blame here- I am commending you for posting here instead of reaching out to your friend. Give her space. She is clearly nonverbally communicating that she needs it.  T…

Wait so am I reading this correctly or did she leave your text on read and not talk to you after you “called her out on text”? I think texting her instead of reprimanding her in front of everyone was …

Oh girl I have this same problem too. New to communicating so I just try to be clear and straight forward and honest, it always comes back to bite me because it comes out as hurtful. And then I fail…

I agree with this!  But be careful about jumping to conclusions too... "Ironically, her vulnerability in sharing that actually made my infatuation deepen into a real crush." I would go as far as s…

This is true. I got rocked by a recent breakup with an avoidant i can't tell if he was dismissive or fearful. He told me all the time how much he loved me, lots of physical touch, told me how lucky he…

Though as I can guess from any other attachment style (or even mental health issue/relational pattern in general) every person is different, I imagine clarity and communication are key here. I would o…

The screaming is likely to be your abandonment wound. Good news is that you can't be abandoned because you're a self sufficient capable adult and only children can be abandoned. The more difficult pa…

So I’ve been talking with a guy for just over a week now. And we have at least talked a little every day. Not a lot but a little. He lives around 2+ hours from me and we met online. So texting and on…

I'm 37F AP and my partner of 5 years is 53M DA. We're now in the processing of breaking up because of the anxious-avoidant cycle. I myself want out of it. I'm tired of it, and I've been the one overgi…

You didn't do anything wrong, sometimes people just aren't ready to deal with their own issues, so when you hold up a mirror to show/communicate the problem, they turn away. You did the right thing b…

Be aware that the process of healing your attachment type is long and very uncomfortable, but knowing you're insecure is the best and hardest step so kudos! What helps me on a day to day case is try…

This is difficult. it sounds like there is the continued "forgetting" (possibly divergence, which requires a behavioral strategy you both practice) of something which you agree to, which is reinforcin…

I do too! It’s incredibly difficult to pour into someone without a lot of reciprocation and some days/weeks are better than others. Our relationship is best when we’re communicating, spending quality …

I get that. I’m triggered by similar. However, you need to get used to communicating your feelings and your needs every time. I have to remind and discuss with my partner when I am triggered and he …

Was she avoidant? I dated this girl for almost a year. At first, I didn’t think she was avoidant. She was good at communicating her boundaries, was consistent with everything, and made me feel secur…

It’s devastating finally standing up for yourself and setting communication expectations but I did it recently and we’re improving. It felt like a failure somehow still? Working on emotionally pairing…

I think first you need to understand what inside of you is being triggered. Usually it is we are personalizing the other person’s emotions. Assuming it is about us or the relationship, even though the…

This is all valid, thank you! We've been together for 17 years, this Halloween 😁 He is extremely familiar with my trauma, and could probably tell you exactly what is going on in my head during these…

Haven’t posted here in a long time. I feel that you’re in denial. Who’s so busy that they can’t send a text 1-2 times daily? Can’t call for a few mins every few days? Nobody! Absolutely nobody if …

It’s kind of normal to go through this with a lot of mental health treatments. People finally understand themselves and others better, there’s new skills to implement, but the outcomes initially swin…