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Has anyone had Tinder recommend them someone who supposedly "Liked" you, you Like them back, and there's somehow still no match? [https://imgur.com/ykyjHGv](https://imgur.com/ykyjHGv) Tinder has to …

Does attachment style start to shift after cutting out toxic family members? — Recently, I removed a toxic family member from my life after years of emotional turbulence and manipulation. This person liked to gaslight me, hold past mistakes over my head, and blame me for everyth…

Bundle pricing and host suggestions — Sup y'all, I'll start by mentioning that I did read through the FAQs regarding pricing as a web developer. This post is regarding bundling and host selection. I recently worked with my brothe…

Sharing my learnings as a mid-seniority job seeker — I started job-hunting in April. After two weeks of sending applications and receiving zero feedback (only ghosting), I scheduled a few calls with my mentor. Based in Eastern Europe and looking for a f…

Interview for associate devops role, not sure how it went, need opinions — I had a technical discussion with with a smaller company(around 100-200 employees) and they are filling out a new devops team. I have 7 YOE at large tech companies as a software engineer, but my dutie…

Should I leave my 9-5 job in a finance company for a job in an early stage startup (I will not promote) — I am an engineering student who has a degree in Computer science and engineering (Data Science) with an honours in Quantative Finance. I have been a part of 3 startups mainly in the social and influ…

Why do people in LOA communities ALWAYS go to Reddit for their problems when JM advised against that? — Hello everyone. I've been into JM's (and NG's) teaching for quite some time. I enjoy it thoroughly and dipped my toes into the subreddits, so hence why I'm here instead of the NG subreddit since I wo…

Spent 1 year solving a problem users “loved” but wouldn’t pay for: my learnings [I will not promote] — We are 2 years into building our SaaS, but spent 1 year building something people “loved”, “were excited about”... yet did not pay for. Since then, we have slightly pivoted and gained traction, but I …

Yesterday I launched a landing page and I got 3 presales in 24h. (I will not promote) — I'm building a minimalist, AI based bookkeeping app. Went live with a simple landing page yesterday and shared it in a few relevant places. I was prepared for a long period of drought and self-doubt,…

What are the signs to spot a DA or FA in early talking stage? — Hi, I am myself something of a FA leaning towards secure (I was anxious but became the secure one in my previous relationship with a DA after some years). My previous relationship was pretty bad beca…

I (re)earned my secure attachment this week. What a journey this has been. — I just wanted to share this diary dump with anyone who wants a success story. I believed myself to be FA/A for a long time, and this week I can finally call myself secure. TW: sexual assualt Despite …

This situation is too messed up — Hi everyone, I (20F) really need some guidance about my SP (19M). We’ve been on and off for the past 2.5 years, and our relationship has always been very messy constant fights, unnecessary arguments, …

First Time Serious Connection With an Avoidant — I was in a relationship with an avoidant for around 3 months and everything was going well and we weren't moving too fast in my opinion. We had gone on dates and met each other's families. They had be…

Both best friends got engaged — I (27F) have never been in a relationship and struggle to form emotional attachments at all. I've gone on dates and forced myself to keep seeing a guy because he's perfectly nice and there's nothing w…

Did I make my Avoidance worse by pushing through it? — Hi all, I’ve been aware I have issues with commitment/avoidance my entire conscious life, but despite it I’ve always wanted to find love I didn’t meet my first boyfriend until I was 22, and it was l…

Asking for input from those who are avoidant — (Forgot to add user flair.) Last paragraph has the question. But for context, I have someone in my life who has acknowledged they are avoidant. When I started looking into attachment styles I found t…

I'm not sure about my attachment style but I want to discover it right now 'cause I want to start healing!!!!!! — Sorry for the long text, I want to be thorough. So, I just ended my first ever relationship. I'm 20, I'm a lesbian from a conservative background and had a lot of internalized homophobia and religiou…

The way trauma shapes your attachment system... — I'm FA and I was reminiscing on what my love life was like as a teenager and young adult. I remember the feeling I had when someone showed interest in me, it was very much of disgust and suspicion. …

ways to stop ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc? — hi everyone! something i struggle with a lot is ruminating on past relationships/friendships/situationships/etc. especially right after they end. even if i know that said relationship was TERRIBLE for…

Am I crazy? I feel like a stalker. — I (26F) don’t understand how my ex (31M) switched on me overnight, and I’m struggling to cope. We dated for almost a year. At first, he was obsessed with me. He talked constantly about our future mar…

I told them that I know it was a dream… — I told them I knew it was a dream. Today, while scrolling through Instagram, I stumbled upon a video about "what happens when you tell dream people that you know it's a dream," and a creepy Lovecraft…

I (F18) am jealous of my boyfriend (M18) for the gpt chat — I know it sounds strange, but I can’t do it anymore. At first my boyfriend started using chat for normal things, such as workout plans, food advice etc. at some point, he started sharing his appearanc…

Where to go from here — Just to warn you, this is a long one... For context, my partner (F39) and I (M40) have been together for 17 years, have two kids together. This all started in early January but seems to have been goi…

Why do people not read dating profiles? — Just as the title suggests. If you are on an online dating site it seems obvious that reading profiles would be a big part of it? But apparently lots of people...don't do that? But why? It just seems …

Realized in a lucid dream that my brain was generating both sides of the conversation — Guys, it was an mind blowing experience for me in the exact dream, It went crazy but I still didn't end the dream and I kept it on (basically I can wake myself up anytime I realise it's a dream, but I…

My mom was supposed to pick me up after surgery. Instead my son took the bus. — I’m in my 50s and still unpacking things about my mom. Growing up, she was always extremely emotionally absent. There was almost no affection, no comforting, and very little interest in my inner life…

As a Codepedent I have bad routine, trying to change it now. — I am a Codependent. I realized one of the signs of healing is that you tend to want to sleep earlier. Before healing, when I was in CPTSD mode, which is all my life for the first 35 years of my life…

I'm convinced that I've done something horrible to my nephew. (POCD) — I'm so sorry. I'm having an absolute panic attack right now. I've been ruminating about a lot of things, and this is specifically me ruminating about my nephew. I have POCD, at least, I certainly ho…

First post here, don't normally do this but I need help. 27M — Gday all, firstly just want to say hi to all who come across this post, and also forgive me if my grammar is bad. I was never really good at it... What is mentioned in here could be quite triggering …

Idealization vs Devaluation: how it looked like for me — Tldr: Just read the Idealization and devaluation parts.  ## Idealization * You're a king! * You sexy tiger, handsome god of a man * You're the best!  * Gives gifts early on in the relationship * On…

My ex called me a “walking green flag” when we first started dating, and then I ruined it all — I can’t live with myself. I hate how relationships sometimes bring out the worst in people. I went from the best boyfriend (my first relationship too) and now it’s been 3 months since the breakup and …

Sunken Cost Fallacy — Married for almost 27 years. Got married at the ripe age of 19. Funny thing, I thought it was a mistake on my wedding night when he got out of bed to jack off because I was so exhausted from the long …

I am 18F and I’m exhausted dealing with my Indian mom who practically worships her narcissistic, manipulative younger brother and lets him control my life while treating me like garbage. — My mom (44F) has two younger brothers. The one I’m talking about is the middle child. He’s married and has a 10-year-old daughter. In my opinion he is one of the most narcissistic, selfish, and arroga…

How to not get triggered by ex. Im tired. — Long story short, my (first) bf and I broke up 2 years ago. The breakup was unexpected for me and ruined me completely for a year. It’s been a few months since im feeling better, but I’ve had my strug…

Don’t you fear being too isolated? — I recently got rejected by a girl that I really liked. We started off as very good friends and unfortunately I caught feelings for her. So right now, I’m grieving the fact that I lost a really close f…

You are God. — you can manifest anything and everything. I say this as someone who has been into this community since i was 10. I used to try manifesting height, weight loss, friends, parents to stop arguing, everyt…

I (22 male) slept with my colleague (30 female) and fell in love, but it was unrequited. — I apologize for possible errors in the text, translated by Google. I got a job as a loader at a store. And when we first met, we didn't really like each other. I just went to work; I didn't talk to h…

Why do people have it out for me? — Hi all, I’m new to this sub and don’t know the terms or anything, but I have always felt in tune with nature, energy and have always the ability to read peoples emotions very easily. I’ve also alway…

Nonordinary Perception — I'm so glad I found this community, I've posted in the paranormal and the witchcraft communities and been called fake, liar, crazy, and all kinds of names for sharing my paranormal experiences, so I'm…

Did your partner/ex cheat with someone who had traits they previously said they disliked or hated? — How do you process the contradiction? I look back at all the times she told me she hated tattoos and will never be with someone who has them. Also very toxic masculinity and harsh or rough voices were…

I manifested something by feeling it and not wanting it — For the past two months, I have been searching apartments. I was so frustrated for the whole month of February because I couldn’t get a single apartment in my city. In March I did get an appointment t…

2 monts into breakup. Here's what I'd tell my younger self. — 1. **Zero Contact.** Unfollow her, and if necessary, unfollow people in her inner circle. I unfollowed her **close group of friends** and her sister. I have absolutely nothing against them; I just don…

My mother won't stop grabbing my crotch — Not sure exactly how to flair this. Marked it NSFW just in case. Sorry if that's not right. I'm a 22y/o living between my divorced parents (don't have the means to get out on my own right now). Thing…

Scared of Dating. — Since my LTR of 10 years ended about seven years ago I have only had a string of casual relationships. I’m at the point now I don’t want to try again as I’ve put in effort with the casual one’s thinki…

Am I (50M) Widower With A 7 YO Just Doomed To Be Alone? — Delete if this doesn’t fit the theme of the sub. I was 35 when I met my wife, she was 10 years younger than I was. Married at 38 and had trouble conceiving. Our miracle/rainbow baby was born in 2018 …

Trans in a religious and conservative Viet household — Truthfully, it’s just awful. I (23FtM, pre-everything) am bisexual and trans. And I just happen to unfortunately be born in a Vietnamese Catholic household that loves our good ol’ president. Not to me…

Asian Male - looking for advice on my face and head — Something I noticed about myself is that my front profile (even if it’s better than my side) is pretty asymmetrical, and my side profile is really bad. I never liked my side profile but I can’t look a…

Positive or negative sex energy — I’ve always liked the idea of opening my marriage up. However, the past couple years I’ve been doing a lot of internal work. I’ve done various mushroom journeys and have found that I am a strong empat…

She admits the lies and secrecy, but still denies anything physical — I’m posting because I feel like I’m losing my grip on what is real, and I need perspective from people who understand trickle truth, repeated minimizing, and what it feels like when someone admits jus…

Found out my wife cheated before, after & during marriage — Hello All, new account here because my wife reads these subs from time to time. I guess I’ll start from the beginning. My wife (28f) and I (28m) started dating in high-school. After high school we wen…

BF of 3.5 years broke it off. I'm so happy and free. — Sooo these last couple of days were a lot. I (29M) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for 3.5 years. If you asked me a week ago, I'd say our relationship had its ups and downs, but we were generally ha…

"I was accepting her for her more and more every day. She was doing the opposite" This! And not just this, really liked your whole post. Where are you now? Did you leave that relationship behind …

I've always liked that story. Thanks for posting it.

I really liked this https://youtu.be/g1Jfj3GaHko?si=ARnOCnAAbNrUSZFB

Yeah that’s how it started for me. I use to think I liked girls who play “hard to get” now I just find them rude. I’ve even taught myself to find it cute when a girl I like makes a lot of effort.

My brother i think it's good you posted here bc you can begin to recognize you have anxious attachment. It was one date. Even if she's brushing you off and lost interest, she doesn't necessarily owe …

Thank you for this most interesting post. I just went & listened to 'Bolted' & very much liked it. What a beautiful song. (I'm one of those tedious A.P.'s , alas).

Thanks for sharing the reel. I really liked how it acknowledged the full range of the trauma spectrum. It was both enlightening and validating. I wonder if I should find a therapist who specializes i…

I think what others are saying unless someone says I hate you, then it's based on your feelings. Feelings are 100% valid but not facts. I'm anxiously attached and felt many people have disliked me ov…

I didnt get attached after a week, I liked him obviously but it was only after talking every day for weeks on end that I got attached

I never got with someone I REALLY liked, and if I ever did it burned out in a blaze of glory. Like occasionally I would hook up with someone I liked, then had like a 2 week relationship with one. Then…

Pretty sure I was an FA (schizophrenic dad, sadistic mom who wanted to abort me—I took care of the family’s emotional needs, disregarded my own). I was still confused/hurting 2+ years post no contact…

Living through this right now. Was dating a DA last year and I really liked her, but she would put me down and be generally disrespectful at times. She would often say things that minimized our relati…

Well, I could read several books on attachment theory and the words made sense but I couldn’t put it into practice. I was an Anxious Preoccupied and reading about how I had a fear of failure, rejectio…

In the past I've mostly contributed to azure modules for tools like terraform, azdo, ansible. Not because I liked them or thought they were deserving, but because their shortcomings frustrated me at…

I really liked reading your story 😊

I actually understand this OP. For me it's to do with them being so so wild. Like no context. I just want to meet people as if time and space put us together. We liked the same bar. Whatever. I don't …

Instagram has a feature where you can see your friends liked reels. My friends like funny reels. I like funny reels. So I get to see the funny reels my friends have liked. She is a friend and so it so…

I see what you mean there but tbh your examples are actually stuff that everyone should know to not do lol they are universal unless someone doesnt know about basic decency. The things I was talking…

I did a course with PDS a few years ago to help get over a break up. It was something like overcoming grief. In the course she discusses something called the Golden Shadow, traits in another person th…

I understand why you'd ask. In my case, I wasn't abandoning my boundaries as much as strategically relaxing them for the purpose of understanding the situation and her. I recognized early on that her …

Of wanting to be in a relationship, if he was ready for fully committing, and he was EXTRA scared of hurting me. He knew he liked me but being in a relationship felt stressful. And I was able to stay …

I think the tricky thing I’ve experienced with DAs is that avoiding labels feels protective for them, while it creates confusion. Because if you liked each other, hung out, and had sex, you’re basical…

Guys I’m in a predicament. I am with this girl(20) and me who’s(22) we started talking around April, and everything has been going good. We started talking and having fun together and building a deep …

Im healing FA myself and my unaware FA avoidant leaning did this all the time. She was hard people pleaser aswell and when time passed i couldnt trust anymore what she said to me. I really understand …

I think dating is for you and self sabotage is common. I think a key, a lot of the time is, is to go into most situations with no attachment to outcome. Find people you like, date and just see how …

That makes sense! Honestly the more I read you reply and thought about some of my past experience I actually take back some of what I said, cause I definitely wasn’t always as clear at the beginning a…

You mentioned all of your other relationships were with avoidants and he is anxious attachment. Have you considered that being with someone anxious, who moves towards you when nervous, has encouraged …

Some people can’t stand being alone or being disliked. They usually have crippling insecurity. The DA card is one that is embraced sometimes when the person is too afraid tbh with the other person. Y’…

Why would an avoidant push me away, but then orbit me for almost 2 years — even while committed to someone else? I feel ashamed for being stuck on this.. I (32F) had a short but intense connection wi…

>I find myself crashing out back into AA land. I felt like I did everything right and this person is essentially ghosting me. I feel humiliated and really bad, which I know is more AA behavior than se…

I don’t know, I pathetically liked the way things were before

It’s not pathetic to have liked the way things were, but unfortunately his inconsistency has revealed some previously unknown information about him. Accept yourself for liking how things were, while a…

It's clearly because she liked you , staying in touch maybe reminded her how good time he had with you but she may be had inner conflict because that's what exactly what I am doing as well , I bailed …

she probably liked me cuz I wasn't only her partner at that time. I was her emotional support as well. someone she confided in, fully trusted, and used to share everything with me, and I was also her …

DBT helped me a lot. You can see if your therapist knows about it or check some free resources like https://dbt.tools/ It has practical things you can actually do when you're feeling anxious. I like…

Looking for some advice because I am struggling a lot at the minute. I (31F) have been with my (35M) partner for 2,5 years. We have a good relationship and it is the first mature relationship I have b…

Relating to what seems to be your attitude during dating, I've known people that probably feel like this and it drives me away from wanting to get close to them because it feels like they're desperate…

The second to last paragraph here is so important. I didn't truly start healing until I realized that I was treating relationships like they were something I could react correctly to rather than corre…

Hm, well, attachment is dynamic. If she never showed any aloofness/indifference when in the relationship then it is simply anxious behavior strategies. In some relationships I'd be fully flipping bet…

So I (37F) apparently still have anxious attachment. I thought I had managed to get past it 😅 so I started talking to a younger colleague (29M) at work. A couple weeks ago we admitted we liked each o…

Me (anxiously attached) was just broken up with by the girlfriend (fearful avoidant) two days ago. Morning text excited to see me in the evening, but when I got to her place, mood was somber. We had a…

I had a similar situation. This person I met physically for 1 month, we hung out 3-4 times a week in this one month, then he went back home temporarily for 2 months, I was chill but the texting got my…

TL;DR: when an avoidant asks for a break, is it real? Ive been dating an avoidant guy for like four months. He had ended a 9 year relationship a year ago and I ended an 8 year relationship recently.…

Text of original post by u/rkuchiki123: I have no problem getting dates, but things always seem to end after 1-3 months. Sometimes, it was my decision to break up or it was theirs but I didn't disagre…

Are you me?! 😭 I do this too and the ruminating sometimes ruins the entire experience for me. Something that’s really helped me out is to think of them as being on “my level” instead above it (easier…

remember ur worth and what you bring to the relationship, try to be more secure and try to learn how to detach, how nothing is truly yours and how you should appreciate every experience since it is fl…

With more of those specifics I would say that part of what you are suffering from is the fear around how things have changed and will look different naturally. However you are personalizing it, as in…

I think I'm dealing with the redirected anger atm. Recently reconnected with someone that asked to be left alone, took three months because there was no set time and I'm autistic so anything that wa…

Since like teenage years I’ve only had like 3 serious relationships but I’ve dated a number of people. Prior to my first serious (teens) I would date someone I “liked” and then break up with them li…

It helped me a lot to do a ton of journaling and self inquiry around what I liked about feeling close to my ex. Because as much as a past relationship is about liking the other person, it's also about…