book
The ICK,
Evidence
Citations (20)
Success Story: FA/Disorganized Attachment Healing Roadmap, Resource Recommendations — **Hello, fellow Fearful Avoidants! The below post has grown out of almost 3 years of research and healing this attachment style, which in my case was coupled with Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD is a vi…
You know what sucks about being in the process of healing your attachment type? Dating someone who has no idea they have an insecure attachment and you're just wasting all that hard-earned security on someone who doesn't care — I've been fearful avoidant most of my life, and it's helped me in abandoning very healthy partners because I was too blind of my issues. For 2 years now I've been working on myself and seeing huge s…
Ex unblocked me — I’m 24f and ex is 22m, he broke up with me May last year, a few months after the break up I had to tell him to block me on instagram and Spotify because those were the accounts I couldn’t stop myself …
Half Pisces - Half Gemini conundrum and how to fix (or integrate!) — Half Pisces, half Gemini conundrum. Would love advice on how to actually integrate all sides in a healthy way. I constantly feel like I’m in ten minds about everything. There’s a sense of stagnation …
I enjoyed what everyone enjoys in a relationship I think, I don't know what you mean by "micro-level", do you mean on our day-to-day? The points where I deactivated were usually when he was critical i…
I feel this. I’m in my first relationship after five years of being single, and we’ve only been dating about five months. I’m definitely no expert here, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I turne…
For years I've been tempted to offer a "therapy yenta" service. I've been in the field a long time and have a pretty good success rate finding therapists for people I know personally or work with in m…
If he's lying about where he goes he may be cheating and that sucks but his wife has said she's, lost attraction to him, thinks he's passive and that he gives her the ick, how exatly do you think tha…
After healing I have much higher standards for how I want to be treated and give less second chances. Pretty much one toxic behavior, we discuss the solution, and if it doesn’t change and goes back to…
Well, it sound like you basically told her that you love her for being useful to you. Not for who she is. Bring supportive is part of who she is, yes. But it would give me the ick, too, if my partner…
All of these are so relatable. The recoiling, the ick, just feeling stressed and annoyed by their presence. It’s nice to know that isn’t as uncommon as I thought.
Okay, I’m coming in with the unpopular opinion that we need more info before declaring this particular man the AH. His initial take was bad, no question. He needs to own up to that. But he also seem…
I'm honestly disturbed by a lot of answers, people can not seem to be nuanced, they learn about codependency and become really harsh towards the others. Describe others has having "victim mentality"…
Well that was awkward. If it's given you the ick, then so be it. But I'd at least meet in person to confirm if he's irretrievably awkward or just extra goofy with nerves.
Guyyyysss, help! Do I tactfully share this ick, or do I slowly kill the convo :( I started talking to a guy this week who has been totally on my wavelength, super affirming and caring, and has simil…
As soon as you feel the ick, block them. Don't wait for a reason. Don't wait for an excuse. Don't wait for an apology, just block them. Give them none of your energy.
I guess because I’ve spent so much time trying to understand him and his wound that I see the broken little boy inside, pathetic as that sounds. I really meant it when j told him I love him, and I kno…
You need to be less desperate and I’m saying this gently. You got the ick, he was too touchy feely, he told you he didn’t want to do couple things on dates so he wouldn’t catch feelings even though yo…
Well, here has to be a talk, isn't there? If you feel the ick, adress is to him. If he feels you have to earn the applience, maybe he feels you should attribute more to the housecosts? But he has to …
Glad you are dumping him. He is immature, disrespectful and self-centered. Besides, this had to completely give you the ICK, where you'd never want to have sex with him again. And you know if you do…