love languages

Pop psych stuff related to dating drives me nuts. I'm ready to stop hearing about "attachment style" and "love languages" any day now! (Especially love languages since the guy who wrote the book was s…

My ex (30F) and I (30nb) broke up 6 months ago and I want to vent about it — After dating for almost 2 years and living together for 6 months my ex broke it off and I had to move out. I am a trans nonbinary person (AFAB) and the day we met my ex knew I would be pursuing gender…

Why is it so wrong to date and have a bf/gf while being legally separated? — I hear all the time that dating is wrong and none would be interested in me since I am still living my wife and separated. I will be moving out soon but were stuck together amicably until the house is…

They say you shouldn’t try to change your partner, but what does that mean? (38F;37M 3yrs) — I (38F) have been with my boyfriend (37M) for three years. we have lived together about 8 months and have been talking about marriage and kids. It is something we both have always wanted, and want wit…

Anyone else get attached emotionally in relationships/after sex? — So, I started talking to this girl late March in class last year, on April 6th last year I got her number and asked her out on a date... it felt so right because I was going on vacation for a week and…

How do I (24F) get back the romance with my boyfriend (21M)? — My boyfriend (21M) and I (24F) met working on an island where we are currently living now and hit it off from the first day he got here; we’ve now been together almost 6 months. I like him a lot but a…

My boyfriend’s dad read my private letters and I feel completely violated — My (26F) boyfriend (26M) has a father who has been the biggest challenge in our relationship. I’ll call him Ned. He’s an alcoholic, gambler, emotionally manipulative, irresponsible, immature, and of c…

he broke up with me after 6 years & 1 month of ldr — my ex (m24) broke up with me (f26) after 6 years of being together he recently moved countries to pursue a masters degree to make his dreams come true & i was (& still am) incredibly supportive of th…

Recently divorced M (44) not sure what I feel about a F friend (48) — Ok, so I divorced three months ago after a 25 year marriage. My ex-wife loved me, I loved her, no third person, but we're neurodivergent and had different love languages .. Shee neglected the couple r…

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Hello, I’m going through an extremely difficult time as someone who was previously anxious avoidant now more anxious secure after a year of therapy. And I have been in a relationship with someone for …

I agree, it's probably a good idea to bring it up lightly. I know the love languages aren't really scientifically backed, but I have to imagine there's some truth to the idea that people feel love, de…

Coming up to date number 3 with a woman I just started seeing. While physical touch is one of my love languages, I've always struggled with it early on besides maybe a hug at the start or end of a dat…

When you say you "don't want to see anyone for free," are you open to spending more time together if your partner pays by hour? 🤣 Kidding, I know what you mean. I agree. Having similar love languages…

Okay, first I just have to get this out of the way: you were pretty wild for bringing up moving in together after less than a year of dating ESPECIALLY since he had JUST gotten his divorce finalized. …

me and my husband are BOTH dissmissive avoidant... but found comfort in eachother so it works. i think the biggest thing is to learn eachothers love language, because even DA's have a love language...…

exactly, physical touch can mean a lot to different folks. for me, it's a lot of the non-sexual physical touch that you mentioned, but also knowing that every time we touch, it doesn't have to lead to…

I totally agree. I have friends with male partners to prove that there are guys with other love languages. Maybe dating apps is just where all the “physical touch” guys hang out lol

I think I recognise this from something I’ve struggled with before. Do you both have different love languages? And if you do, is this something you can talk about, recognise and find a way to navigate…

I do think I am struggling to accept the acts because the words aren't there. Yes, it could be a love languages thing. He does know what it means to me, it's honestly become kind of a joke... he sen…

Hey OP! Judging from your OG post and many of your comments… I absolutely think this is a love language thing. You (like myself) are a words of affirmation (WOA) girly. And there’s nothing wrong with …

Just want to point out: the point of the love languages model is to proactively attempt to do your partner's love language to show them they are love in the way *they* appreciate. Not to excuse someon…

I have brought it up and its kind of dismissed with an "you know I love you". I do think there is some internal work too though; just accepting his love languages instead of demanding mine.

Me (late 20s male, mother passed last year and my boyfriend (26M, currently unemployed) have been together 2 years. We live together and share pets that he loves. He was my main support during my moth…

"I'm conventionally attractive..." "I make really good money, I take care of myself (and him) and my things, I'm kind and caring and I'm a good cook - which he loves. Our sex life is great." (That d…

I’m wondering if different love languages play a part to this. And also, you mentioned that they display, avoidant attachment style. If they’re not used to spending a lot of time with other people, ma…

She’s already let you go, the relationship is over. She probably wanted you to post more pictures of the two of you, like she did, she liked showing you off but you didn’t reciprocate it and she felt …

You both need to read the 5 Love Languages book with the perspective of learning how to do things better for your partner. However, she sounds a little self-centered so ... Good luck with that!

I am a very touchy-feely person and even while I don't really believe in "love languages" per-se, for the sake of ease I still say that touch is my main love language. I like cuddling, holding hands, …

I think there are a few things mixed up here, or at least could be reframed which... could... help you. Love languages refers to how a person most feels love, and you can have that language to recei…

I (34M) have been single (and touchless) my whole life and have no interest in anything casual (and never have - meaning, effectively, my entire life has been devoid of meaningful physical contact.) M…

My kids, friends, siblings are work for cuddles and hugs. 15 year old wanted to cuddle last night. For me love languages outside of a relationship are a non-issue.

Gladly. I made it my choice to help people when it comes down to things like this, because I was targeted while blind :( and I think it's in my best interests to help someone else not to struggle the …

There’s a lot more to marriage than bringing home the money and buying flowers occasionally. Recieving gifts was probably not her love language. I would recommend looking into the 5 love languages, th…

I do know about the love languages though that’s what she asked for. Gifts, acts of service and quality time. I will never know what Greg is offering that is different if anything. She didn’t have a b…

I’m going to gently say that because you’re on the spectrum, you might not know how to express those deeper thoughts about someone else without centring yourself. I do it too! You definitely know how …

So my ex always wanted us to sit and have coffee together on the weekend. We lived in the city and right above a coffee shop. So, it was just a case of going down the apartment building. She just want…

Love Languages isnt proper psychology. It's rubbish made up by a US Christian pastor who used it with couples he counselled. It was almost always used as sexual coercion to get women to have more se…

I feel like I might be the "girlfriend" in my marriage when it comes to this! There's a chart floating around of nuerospicy love languages and information dumping is one! You should Google it! One th…

That hot tub is the first time they have sex. Your wife is not cheating. To be honest there is no way to explain to you but she is not cheating on you. I know you are gutted. And her bestie should hav…

Make sure you are abiding by her love languages so she can feel on point emotionally. If you follow her love language to a T she will be unbuckling your belt buckle for you lol

I'm so sorry that 20 years of your life has been put into this woman. She is so evil, also the fact you had to compromise gifts and not show your love languages accordingly. The fact she was pacing ar…

Well done for genuinely trying to be the mom we all wish we had. I was severely emotionally neglected by both parents but especially my mother. I’m sure she was very tired from a full time job and all…

Love languages, from what I read, was a straight white male conservative pastor basically saying "honey I don't do the dishes cause that's not my LOVE LANGUAGE" 😂

Can only speak from my experience. I wish my mom took better care of herself so she was more within her window of tolerance and wouldn’t take all the stress out on us. She was so proud of how she gave…

If you discuss it when it's relevant it's a bit late don't you think? I don't know when to bring it up... But if you wait until you are having sex do you just do a "pump and dump" as the alpha males …

Any infidelity or related issue between you in the past? Sounds a lot like betrayal trauma / fear of abandonment. Also could be something like the way you give love isn’t how she receives it — have a …

I just broke up with my girlfriend 2 days ago. We're still students, both 18, and by that, our love was so pure and bright. We had a lot of promises; we loved each other so much and had so much gold m…

Hi thank you so much for your well thought out advice, I think part of the reason why our relationship has continued is because we do continue to show our love through our own individual love language…

“Love languages” were made up by an evangelical pastor with no experience or qualifications beyond being a pastor.

A classic incompatibility at the love languages level. You can accept it and try to change what you control, hence your emotional state. Or you can leave. The million-dollar question : on your death…

You're not compatible.  I'm someone who doesn't enjoy a lot of physical contact either. I like being near them, and maybe a hand on my thigh, but I feel suffocated by someone who always has to be to…

Can you bring it up in way like “hey I found this test for couples to see what their love languages are”…where you can then elaborate on where he’s lacking to make you feel loved?

We had a talk about love languages already. I told him my highest love language is gift giving and he hasn’t done anything about it.

damn that family meeting timing makes it so much more confusing. meeting the family usually feels like moving forward, not checking out mentally. the whiplash thing is real - when someone's been …

Picture a hiker next to a lake. A boulder has fallen on their leg pinning them down. They are right next to the lake but cannot reach the water to drink. The hiker is going to die of thirst. The lake …

Sooooo.... you're saying you love intimacy with him, but he doesn't love it with you? Does he basically want a sexless marriage? If you two have different love languages, it is probably best not to ge…

You should talk to them and try to understand why that is. My parents didn't grow up with these skills as love languages, but they made sure I was taken care of. Acts of service and gifting are their …

The way you describe it sounds more like a stable response, and we wouldn't be here in the first place :P. E.g. you go on a few dates with someone, slowly get to know them, and realise you're just n…