Boring

I feel like most people just let things fade and that's fine. But also I think this is a big part of whats wrong with Online dating. Minor differences aren't a reason not to pursue things. Feels like …

Can we talk about how bad the current Shopify Admin UI is? — How has this continued to be a thing, and how did this get approved internally? The Shopify Admin UI is a complete mess. It's genuinely hard to believe this shipped — and worse, that it's still the c…

How do you write a catchy intro for a web portfolio? — Hi guys, I’ve been wondering—do any of you have tips on coming up with a catchy intro phrase for a **web portfolio aimed at getting a job**? I noticed a lot of YouTube videos recommend doing somethi…

Feeling stuck between a promo and burnout - advice? — I'm approaching 5 years at my current company (2 years as junior, 3 as mid-level) and am submitting a promotion case for Senior. I won't hear back for a couple months - my director feels optimistic, b…

Should I leave my 9-5 job in a finance company for a job in an early stage startup (I will not promote) — I am an engineering student who has a degree in Computer science and engineering (Data Science) with an honours in Quantative Finance. I have been a part of 3 startups mainly in the social and influ…

The successful are not here — After years of watching YouTube videos about startup / founder stuff and reading blogs, Reddit, and the horrible place that is LinkedIn, I came to realize that 99.9% of advice (especially in the SaaS …

What would one call this attachment style? — I feel as tho I'm a pretty particular mix, cause I'm not exactly healthy, but the other labels don't exactly resonate either. I suppose it roots from two main things. One, I was bullied and ostracized…

If my nervous system is used to interpreting intensity as chemistry, then...am I just supposed to settle for love where I don't feel any "fuzzy" feelings? Like is love supposed to be boring? Then how do I even know the difference if a relationship is boring but good vs. boring but bad?? — Like I really don't want to be stuck in an anxious-avoidant loop again, and I get that secure love seems more boring to someone with an anxious attachment, but then...like...are all romantic feelings …

Specific Person (SP) Manifestation: No Magic, No Supernatural Forces. Just Proven Science — Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I last posted, and honestly it was overdue. I keep seeing the same recycled LOA bullshit everywhere. Endless manifestation porn, more unqualified people calli…

Why Being Ok With Not Having Your Desire Manifests It Faster — It’s a very contradictory thing in manifesting where you desire something, but you’re told to let it go and not care about whether or not you have it (because in 4D you already have it). But let’s fo…

DAE find dating just kinda ..boring? — I'll have a fun date with someone, a few beers some interesting conversation...but feel totally ambivalent about seeing them again. This has happened 5/6 times getting back into dating. I'll be attrac…

My husband (29M) and I (29F) have a dead bedroom because he says I dont initiate — My husband (29m) and I (29f) have been together for 8 years, married for 1. For the past 3 months we went from a very active sex life to a dead bedroom out of the blue. Every other aspect of our relat…

Alone — The loneliness gets you. Not having those goodmorning texts,"I love you" "be safe" or ""l miss you" after hearing it everyday is crushing. It's lonely and sad. I don't miss them. We split a while ago…

Opened up to my wife about how I feel about our relationship and she just said "That's your problem" - am I crazy? — We're both in our mid 40s, been together for 20+ years and we have two kids who are both teenagers and I've been thinking about divorce for quite a while now as I feel like I just don't get anything b…

Anyone find narcs to be entirely boring? — Like no, I don’t want to hear about your work accomplishments for the 100th time. Give me some conversation with meaning.

SPICY Shifting Tarot Pull (collective message)? 𓆩༺✧༻𓆪 — Hey friends, I am a tarot reader (for myself and others) and I just did a tarot reading for myself in regards to some blockages I have to shifting to my DR specifically. I wanted to preface by saying …

As a Codepedent I have bad routine, trying to change it now. — I am a Codependent. I realized one of the signs of healing is that you tend to want to sleep earlier. Before healing, when I was in CPTSD mode, which is all my life for the first 35 years of my life…

Life is going well but it gets boring… — I’m doing good. I work, go to the gym, and take about two days off during the week. But I’ve noticed that after 4–5 days of being consistent, my mind starts to feel really tired. I feel like I need so…

My Personal Key For Shifting (Repost because my pther account got deleted somehow 😢) — Lets start with i accidently shifted in early 2000s, before I even knew what I was, or understood what it was, I just passed it off as a very realistic dream. And just to put it out there, i am very s…

The "Manosphere" — Last night my wife and I watched the new Netflix documentary on the Manosphere. It was entertaining and informative, but also quite sad. My first reaction, honestly, was that with the exception of th…

House of Danube/Deneb & The Tuatha Dé Danaan — I have just had an unexpected and seasonally apropos experience with St. Patrick's day right around the corner. Meditating in a hypnopompic state yesterday morning I heard a man's voice speaking to m…

I hate how sheltered I am due to my parents. — I've never been to a party (except the occasional birthday party). I've never been in a relationship. I don't know how it's supposed to work aside from just loving and spending time with each other. A…

People of dating over 40... — I'm going to preface this that I am well aware we're all busy. We have jobs, might have kids, have other commitments, I get it. I fully understand that. However... Why might you take days or even …

I spent years trying to fix my life with discipline. Therapy showed me why that didn’t work — **My Journey** I can’t remember not being depressed. I have some memories of the time before, but they are pictures, frames of a child enjoying life. But I’ve struggled with depression almost my enti…

Parents almost only talk about their job? — My mom loves to vent about wok related stuff. It‘s one of the only topics I hear her talk about. Not in a bragging or proud way, but always complaining about the job and coworkers (of course she would…

Thinking More and More About Just *How* Boring They Were — One of the things that really boggles my mind looking back on my childhood is just how little my parents ever entertained any ideas of direction or progress within their own lives. My father worked t…

I (21M) have survived two decades of severe physical, emotional, and financial abuse from my Indian parents. I'm finally exhausted and need to tell my story. I am not free yet. — # TL;DR: I'm a 20-year-old only child in India who has endured severe physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse from my parents since toddlerhood. They have beaten me, medically neglected me, …

I typically never have nighmares, while I have terryfying emotional states and flashback during waking states. — Not really a question, but I recently realized that for all the life I live with crippling fears, anxiety, and depression, my sleep is kinda nice. The worst dreams I get are boring ones, like I am dre…

Parents have no hobbies or interests — Ever since my siblings and I left for college, I’ve noticed my parents seem to be living a very monotonous, low-energy lifestyle. Whenever they’re not working, they spend almost all of their time just…

Do people eventually want marriage/long-term partnerships, or is it mostly just dating at our age? — ​I'm a 42M, only a few months into my divorce. To be clear, I am by no means looking for a relationship right now. However, I've been lurking on this sub for a while because I knew my marriage was c…

Are there any pro-escapism AP communities out there? — I've noticed that when the topic of voluntarily leaving this physical life, or remaining in the astral permanently is brought up on this sub, there are inevitably at least a few comments who seem to t…

Realizing there is caretaker codependency happening in my relationship — My own journey with codependency has been a lot. My previous relationships were abusive. I’ve been in intense talk and EMDR therapy for a very long time and made lots of progress, but it feels as thou…

If trauma made me ‘interesting,’ who am I without it? The grief of getting better. — I’ve been doing EMDR and CBT for 2 years for severe social anxiety and trauma. I’ve made huge progress. But I’m realizing that my entire personality, my dark humor, my hyper-independence, my career in…

What showing up every day actually taught me about myself — The biggest thing I learned is this: nobody is “better” than you. They just stayed with the things most people quit. That’s it. Discipline isn’t about talent or motivation — it’s about doing the work …

Post traumatic cognitive decline affecting speech and conversational ability. Can meditation help? — I had an extremely traumatic event occur to me 8 years ago. I was able to recover emotionally after about 6 months to a normal emotional state. However, I noticed a significant decline in my ability t…

trying to AP is boring for adhd and makes me spiral — doing methods is so miserable. for one i’ve been trying to shift/AP for years everyday and night always failing and ending up with the same result, nothing. second my adhd hates not thinking and sitti…

I cheated on my husband (online) and want to leave this behind me. — Hi everyone, I’m really struggling and could use some perspective and support. I’m married and recently got caught up in multiple online conversations with men (mostly Snapchat). It started as flirti…

Faster task completion with revision — I had a task to do yesterday and the deadline was arriving and it is a boring task and I was less motivated to do it. I just applied revision yesterday, like imagined I have already completed the task…

I don’t want to cling onto this situation — 24F. I’ll try to make this short. My ex boyfriend broke up with me in November. I keep having breakdowns and so on. The reason why I’m posting this is that, almost a year ago (before meeting my ex) i…

I (M31) lost the best person I'll ever meet (F26) — tw: depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm I was trapped in a horrible relationship I felt I could not get out of. I posted about that here recently. tldr: 6 years of constant crises in which I …

Tips for staying motivated after disappointment? — Diagnosed ADHD, currently on medication. I have a YouTube channel (promise this is relevant, not advertisement). I spent years deciding whether I wanted to start one and ultimately said yes, I do. I …

Got what I wanted !! Again !! — Hi everyone, **Context** So I made a post called “7 Seeds - 1 Harvest” and mentioned there would be upcoming posts since writing about each desire that came true would’ve made the post way too long.…

I'm already behind in life at 18 — I wasn't sure which flair to use, because I think I need advice on a lot of things. I also want to preface by saying I do not blame any of this on my parents, schools, mental health, etc, and this was…

How do I grow a personality / figure out who I am? — Hey everyone, I (22F ) really need advice because I feel like I’m slowly ruining my own life. I honestly don’t know who I am as a person. I feel like I don’t have a real personality. My whole life I’…

Divorce finalized and I'm donating everything he ever complimented me in — Divorce was final 3 weeks ago. Spent this weekend going through my closet and realized I can trace every piece back to his influence. The blue dress he said was his favorite. The jeans he said made me…

Loneliness is a major part of my depression, and I need help finding friends — Hey everyone. I am 28 and have had no friends all my life. I need help. I'm frustrated by the typical advice as I feel I've tried most of it, so I'd like to list what I do, and see if there are specif…

I (23 M) dont know if im happy in my relationship with my partner (32 M) — I dont know if I should be in this relationship. I (23 M) have been with my partner(32 M)for about 2 years coming up in April. I get along with him well and we have our good moments and we dont fight …

Why should one person do all the work? — I saw a post yesterday with a lady complaining how men on dating apps ask boring questions like "how's your day?" and "how's it going?" when first matching on dating Apps. My question is this: Matchi…

What can I do to suppress loneliness and emotional neediness? — I’ve been very alone lately. I don’t have a social life and I’ve been trying to build one for 10 years. I feel very lonely, like my life is gray and empty. When I go out and see other groups of peop…

I ignored my self-critic for a full week and boy was it exhausting — A week ago I decided that since behavioural activation therapy, CBT, other therapies, and trying to find ways to be productive or find meaning with others or by myself, and even low pressure advice we…

Anyone else had a relatively "successful" sibling growing up? — And by "successful", I don't necessarily mean something really big to the point that they made a career out of that, but just enough that there was always something going on in that sibling's life. Wh…

thank you, very interesting insight, i guess is still down to our concious self to still understand whats what and whos who on the other side as well. Sometimes i do wonder, if on a higher dimension …

I think typically the people we get along best with, will feel boring. Conflict is where excitement stems from. When things are easy and flow naturally, there is no conflict, and thus no excitement. Y…

What have you done to resolve your fear of commitment, your emotional unavailability and the inferiority complex? Why are you searching for excitement from a partner? What does that mean to you? Is i…

You might want to look into relationship attachment styles, love bombing, and whether you're mistaking the slow burn as boring because it's stable and consistent. The excitement ppl often feel is actu…

Yeah I don't really agree with their point at all. There’s a big difference between a slow burn that feels a bit boring and something that stirs up anxiety, usually because someone’s bringing anxious …

You don't even have to believe on a conscious level.  Read the index and do two relaxation sessions every day.  Boring, disgustingly boring, every day for 2-3 months or more. On top of that, you'r…

Everyone, pay attention. 7 kills in 18 months. And she is clearly literally poised to make millions from here on. 7. Anything is possible for those who persist with the right techniques to the pract…

" I just see a completely different thing on Reddit but when I read the teachings it's so simple lol." Honeybunch, if it was SOOO simple, you and most everyone else on reddit would have their mill…

At our shop, the dumber and more boring the setup, the more stable and automated everything becomes. Our "internal developer platform" is just a simple CLI: `./run-cli.sh deploy all/staging/demo…

There is no single right way to do it. The right way is deciding which tools work for your workflow, and provide the least administrative overhead. Whatever helps you not copy and paste things all the…

I love it too! But the company parties are always boring.

Honestly, the biggest clue I get is how I feel. Are my thoughts racing? Do I feel anxious almost to the point of being manic? Is it affecting my sleep, like I’m waking up early and can’t fall back asl…

Physical attraction.  I would never date someone I wasn’t at least somewhat intellectually attracted to. I’m aware emotional attraction was not something I was aware of (for me it was fused with intel…

I don't think this person identifies as secure though. I think he does realize he has an insecure attachment style, but he doesn't realise that's exactly why he keeps getting attracted to other insecu…

Chemistry fafes even with the hottest thing that ever walked didnt you know that dude, everyone is flawed, everything gets boring, let's face it. There's no answer to longvterm relationships. 

I hope you get to find another ADHD person whom you're super attracted to, you'll never find each other boring and have lots of great fun together!

I've been on the other end of this.. the push and pull was exactly my ex-girlfriend.. thank you for explaining your side. It's like you're speaking for her. She will never admit any of that in the day…

Try to get to the heart of the matter, if something is pulling you into this type of dynamic the solution can only come from you. Abandonment issues usually do well with therapy. And in the meantime l…

Hajajaha one of them actually WAS boring from the beginning and i mistook it for safety... After 4 months, all the same:(

Keep working on yourself and journaling. One thing i learned in my similar journey is that anytime you meet someone and feel that “chemisty” it’s usually attachment/trauma wounding familiarity that yo…

That makes sense, I briefly dated a guy a few years ago who seemed unable to have any deeper conversations and that was partially why I ended things (he also hid smoking cigarettes from me lol). I thi…

Thank you for sharing. A lot of Avoidants get a bad rap for never doing any healing work. Props to you for recognizing it. And I agree with the above guy, my most successful relationship was a little …

I gotta wonder - is it dismissive avoidant + secure that make it boring - or is it just more securely attached relationships are actually boring? I've always wondered, I'm so steady and calm but I do …

I mean, it's hard to say. I'm sure that two secure people might appear to be boring to insecurely attached people. Depending on the attachment style, even insecurely attached people find faults …

Yeah there's different types of boring. Boring because they bring up stuff and talk about things without conflict and want to hear either your opinion or side is usually secure. Shows they're complex …

Boring because of not wanting to share his feelings and trying to not get deeper into any discussion beyond the shallow level because he thought disagreements lead to conflicts and conflicts are bad. …

Ah I totally get where you're coming from. I find it confusing when people do that because it feels like I'm having to respond to an absence of something rather than a presence. Conflict avoidance is …

Um...I guess with this friend, I pushed for us to talk more, and when she showed interest, I became ambivalent because what if we talked more and she realized I was boring or not cool to hang out with…

When I spend time with someone I am not interested in, the time tends to be boring and I get anxious and want to leave. On my dates this person is very intense and into me. They get very sad when …

I love this response! You’re so right, a “perfect” relationship would be boring

there are better things to do than getting hung up on someone who doesn't want to be in your life in any shape or form, respect their wish and give them *aaaaaaaaall the space in the world*, especiall…

you’re not seeing red flags you’re seeing *your own fear* wearing their face anxiety doesn’t become “intuition” just because things ended. most relationships end. that doesn’t retroactively justify…

Security can sometimes feel boring after coming from a push-pull dynamic. It’s only a problem if you’re actively turned off to sex with your partner. Honeymoon phases *can* last six months to two …

Definitely! Thank you for reassuring me. I think I just feel disappointed if this is actually my baseline because I used to be much.... more wild if that makes sense lol. The lack of constant desire n…

Wow, I really appreciate how clearly you laid all of this out. It takes a lot of self-awareness to notice the pattern underneath the individual relationships, and even more to name the parts of you th…

I promise I’m not holding him hostage in a basement demanding emotional growth. I tell him my needs, he chooses if he wants to meet them, and I choose whether to stay. Very adult, very boring. People…

I can tell you my experience. I have been in a close to 7 year relationship with a BPD ex girlfriend, quit that one more than a year ago, if you know the dynamics you know that's a huge slap in the fa…

Also, this is part of why therapists love saying safe relationships often feel boring! You’re off the roller coaster and on… the airport walkway? I imagine two people walking in tandem while managing …

If someone makes me spiral, I feel like that its a sign of trauma bonding. I'm currently dating a very secure person and I feel completely at ease with her, no hot and cold, just always there regardl…

What is the definition of boring?

This might sound quite bad, and I don't want to risk anyone here thinking they are "boring". I've dated people who are more like me, anxiously attached, and that's anything but boring. It starts ver…

This is the answer. “Boring” = secure There’s nothing to guess or ruminate about. They show up for you, every time. Reassure you, make themselves physically and emotionally available. And that’s wha…

Did I overreact? I am 26 and was seeing a guy who is also 26 for about three weeks. He started off as a very strong texter. He replied thoughtfully, asked a lot of questions, and seemed genuinely cur…

I appreciate the insight! Definitely a lot of negative feelings about my personality kept getting in the way (am I too boring, am I too awkward, etc.). Honestly surprised myself how much insecurity I …

Thanks for the insight! Honestly I get really worried about being boring. I have plenty of things I’m confident in, but I feel like social situations aren’t something I regularly put myself in, so whe…

I think it might be helpful to define what “socially stimulating” actually means to you and check it against what others think it means. As well as what you identify as “boring”. I think this can be h…

For sure working on some boundaries for myself for the future is a big thing I’m focusing on, at the very least just to keep myself safe while not making myself unavailable. Yea, I’m kind of trying …

DA here. Have a work friend that was easily the most generous, consistent, positive force in my life (only dethroned a hair by my husband). I would find myself pre-emptively grieving him and evaluat…

I think her perspective on 'if they like you, you will know' is a bit of a reach. When someone attaches to another person is highly subjective. I don't agree with her perspective on anxious = fear of…

Okay, I will look into this person more but Steph Anya is an LMFT. You might want to search again bc dismissiveness pulls right up as an avoidant trait only. Cognitive empathy is very limiting in true…