book
support system
Evidence
Citations (101)
Yes, my parents are also like this. A few years ago, I passed out in public due to an illness and texted my sibling for help. While I was passed out alone in some bathroom, my Nmother got jealous th…
Has anyone else gone from being dismissive avoidant to anxious preoccupied towards their therapist? — As I'm sitting here on a Friday night, missing my therapist despite literally meeting with her today, I'm reflecting on how 5 years ago, and really for the first 2/3 years of therapy I was a closed bo…
I’m FA, he’s DA — I can’t believe this is where we are, but we’ve been together for 5+ years. You’d think we would have gotten to the secure part by now, for 75% of the time, we are. But when we activate each other, it…
Anxious Attachment Injury - Nervous System Stuck in Fight/Flight — TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m struggling to function. I’m asking for nerv…
From ‘soul mates’ to strangers — How does one even trust again. Learn to open up again. Let their wall down again. After 2 years, she’s gone. She was my girlfriend, my best friend, my partner, support system, ‘soul mate’. We had …
I feel so alone — It's odd. I don't miss my husband. I'm 1000% confident in my decision - there's a huge sense of relief since he moved out - but ever since I made my decision I feel so alone. I have a great support …
how do you live with the harm you've caused in the past? — Four months ago, I broke up with my ex. We were going through a rough patch but from their perspective, it was nothing we hadn't gone through before. I completely blindsided and discarded them (a term…
UPDATE: My (32f) fiancé (28m) repeatedly does not clean the house — Hello lovely reddit. First relevant links. My first post I deleted (so you can peruse the comments if you are interested): [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yjl0g/my\_32f\_fianc%C3%…
How to become a stoic when dealing with toxic family — I don't want this to be another emotional rant but basically, I'm done, depressed and ruined by my father's behavior and I want to stop feeling anything towards him and the things he says to me. My me…
I’m 19 and left with a 4yo autistic sister. I feel extremely hopeless. — I’m 19f, my mom passed away November 2025 and Im left with a 5year old neurotypical sister and 4 year old sister diagnosed with autism, ocd, and adhd. My sisters and I have different fathers, their fa…
Lost my mom, not sure where to go from here and looking for guidance — Sup guys, So at the end of December, my mom passed away. The last couple of years, I chose to live nearby, and my life somewhat was revolving around my mom. After she passed, everything feels numb, m…
How do people become emotionally immature? — I was raised by and surrounded by emotionally immature adults my whole life, while living in a toxic and abusive household created mainly by my father’s abuse towards my mother, and her compliance and…
Dealing with an energy vampire parent? — I'm pretty sure my dad's an energy vampire, anytime i'm around him i get sick, ALL the time. Which never happens on the months he's gone for work. I feel down, lazy, i don't want to get out of bed, ev…
I (36M) feel like I ruined a 3.5 year relationship and don’t know how to move forward — I (36M) feel like I ruined a 3.5 year relationship and don’t know how to move forward I’m 36 and feel like I completely blew up my life and I’m struggling to move forward. I was in a 3.5 year relati…
Which planet and/or aspect should I focus on and work with to remedy my inability to form lasting intimate relationships and friendships? — As you can see I have a T-square between Mars, Venus and Saturn and I have Pluto on the Ascendant opposite Chiron. I'm 56, not married, no kids, I only had one boyfriend in my early twenties for about…
Could use some compassion - I broke up with my ex of nearly two decades last fall. I was codependent on him for everything. — TW: a depressing and heavy post, self blame, neglect I left him last August after realizing we were holding each other back. I wanted to get married but he just… never proposed. At one point we did …
Anyone else from the US not motivated to survive a systemic collapse? — As a CPTSD survivor who already struggles so damn hard to get through the day -- physically, emotionally, psychologically -- I really don't have much motivation to "survive" whatever disaster is in st…
Quit weed 4 days ago and radio silence from every friend and family member. Am I going crazy? — On Wednesday last week, after finishing what I had and then smoking whatever Dusties I had left, I (24F) cleaned my bong, threw the cone piece and set out on my quitting journey. So far this has been…
I (f 22) tested positive for an std after years of being clean and consistent testing and my bf (m 24) of 2 years says it’s “impossible” it’s because of him despite not being tested for 5 years and now we’re not okay. — \*\*\*UPDATE\*\*\* After a long 3 days my results came back and they were all negative. I, of course, told my boyfriend and he was relived much like I was. He was supportive of me and he apologized …
Just trying to gain closure on my own... — This is something I wrote in my journal, trying to process emotions and gain closure. Lori, Since you would not give me the opportunity for closure, I'm going to do what I can to get it here. This…
Do you think we could do more to support each other professionally? — I’ve been thinking about this and wanted to get some perspectives from people here. A lot of the discussions in this forum are around personal experiences, challenges, and broader social topics—which…
Blindsided break up… now he wants to keep the door open. — I (32M) was in a relationship with my ex (34M) for about 2.5 years. We genuinely loved each other. At one point, I moved countries to be with him. It also worked out career-wise for me, so it felt lik…
Just need to get it out — i’ve never done this before so if this isn’t the purpose of this subject, I’m sorry. I am 20 years old and relatively speaking. I’d say I’m not in a bad position to be successful in both my personal l…
I'm fourteen and I've been in a really weird situation my entire life. I don't know what to do. — trigger warning for sensitive content such as abuse (only financial abuse is really explicitly stated), alcoholism, s icidality (in the past, censoring in case it gets the post removed or something)?…
Do I need a social life/ anchor prior to starting the tapes so I’m grounded? — So I want to start but I read a post recently which stated someone going through an accidental awakening and going through psychosis- and the main factor was because they were isolated. See I’m in tha…
Desperate: I want to restart my life — I feel like I'm the epitome of someone with no future I feel shitty about everything I do. I'm 18f and all my life I haven't done anything a teenage girl does. I'm restricted into these 4 walls, no fr…
Overarching Energy of the Libra Full Moon on April 1st, 2026 — This Full Moon is all about our responsibility when it comes to our relationships. We are reminded to balance what is external, creating harmony without sacrificing self. The solution isn’t about “we…
My ex (30F) and I (30nb) broke up 6 months ago and I want to vent about it — After dating for almost 2 years and living together for 6 months my ex broke it off and I had to move out. I am a trans nonbinary person (AFAB) and the day we met my ex knew I would be pursuing gender…
No crumbs. — I am done. I finally pulled the plug, and vanished from the grid without a single word. There were no long paragraphs and no final arguments, but instead, just a clean, hollow silence because the disr…
my (20F) bf (21M) talked to other girls online — My (20F) ex (21M) and I had a fight last week. He didn’t reach out until two days after, so we really didn’t talk during that time. However, he had work, so our conversation in chat never really reach…
My husband threw my childhood trauma in my face during an argument. Something feels broken and I don’t know what to do. — I don’t even know where to start. I’ve never posted here before. I just need to hear from people who’ve been through something like this. Some context first. I (F27) grew up with a narcissistic abusi…
My (25f) neighbor (29f) believes she is miraculously pregnant — Her age might be incorrect, but it’s around that. Tragically, her fiancé was killed in a car accident about 9 weeks ago. She wasn’t in the accident but she was very newly pregnant at the time, so new …
My best friend turned lover ghosted me last year, but turns out he was cheating — He was my best friend, my rock, my lover, my support system. We had been friends for 7 years. He asked for space last March to deal with some grief, and I obliged, but he told me to wait for him. He t…
I broke no contact with my ex this week. Here's some things that have helped me — After being with my now ex-boyfriend for nearly 2 years and getting ghosted last week, I broke no contact with him last night. I did get a response, but I didn't read much into it. It was just that he…
Realizing at 57 that I’ve been the family scapegoat my entire life — Hey everyone, I’m 57 years old, and I only recently learned there’s actually a name for the role I’ve lived in my entire life—the family scapegoat. For most of my life, I believed I was just too sen…
Realizing at 57 that I’ve been the family scapegoat my entire life — Hey everyone, I’m 57 years old, and I only recently learned there’s actually a name for the role I’ve lived in my entire life—the family scapegoat. For most of my life, I believed I was just too sen…
Being targeted while vulnerable — I made a mistake in over sharing on my college essay thinking it was confidential. then last my first year of uni I was basically let into uni because of my trauma under the impression that I was bein…
Beginning the process of escaping my controlling parents. I’ve never felt more isolated in my life. — I’ve posted here months ago up until now: no updates because there weren’t any to note. I guess this is more of a vent than anything, but it would be nice to hear if anyone has felt similarly while le…
How much should we have saved up? (Given no fallback/support system) — The last year or so of my life has been a whirlwind, from graduating college to moving back home for the first time in years before my first job (which was a nightmare, but that's a given) to finally …
I am ruining my own life — I’ve been abused since very young. I didn’t have a childhood, I didn’t have teen years, I had to work and be my parents parent. I was raped for years, forced to compare myself to pornstars, either in …
Dating someone recently divorced who still sees his ex monthly — reasonable or red flag? — I (33F) have been dating a guy (33M) for about 6 months now. Overall, things have been really good — it’s been easy, calm, and we’ve built a genuinely strong connection. He’s consistent, thoughtful, p…
I'm being asked to leave my "found family" — This isn't strictly related to my parents, so hope it's okay to post. I basically cut ties with my father at 18, then went low contact with my mother at the age of 23ish. Currently in my mid 20s now…
The older I get. The more furious I am. The grieving process can be one hell of a rollercoaster sometimes. — I just had my birthday a few days ago. Here I am 26 years old and the older I get, I just don’t understand how someone can be this way. I’ve been NC for 2 years next month so I’m pretty chill, mostl…
What to do now that I have reached a breaking point with my mom — I hope this isn’t super long but I made a prior post and was directed to this board and after reading a few posts I wanted to see what some of you did or what you would suggest doing.. idk where to st…
It's been two months and yet I still feel stuck — On February 6th my boyfriend (23M) of 8 years sat me (26M) down and told me that he fell in love with his new friend he met only 4 months ago. This hit me like a ton of bricks, I asked if he wanted t…
I'm being forced to leave my home, and I feel sick and unable to function — I currently have a very nice living situation living with my friend and her boyfriend. They were strangers when I moved in, but over time I've come to regard them as my family. To be honest, I tend to…
how come (certain) people react aggressively to suicide, and suicidal thoughts? — I started thinking about suicide when I was 12. I'm 21 now. One of the first things I heard was that I was being "selfish" and "stupid". My grandmother was dying back in 2016, her brother found out ab…
Me (32f) Feeling abandoned and trapped after husband (32m) attempted suicide and friends said they didn't want to be involved. How to I deal with all this with no support system? — Context section: Me (32F) and Husband (33M). We have been married 7 years, together 10, been friends since we were 19 and 20. We have 2 babies, 3 and 1 years old. I am the breadwinner for our family, …
I dont want to live like this (but I will keep living) — long vent just typing to keep myself focused on this instead of hurting myself. i am the most safe and lucky and happy ive been in my whole life and i still just dont want to be here. ive worked thr…
Are my parents the nparents or am I just the shitty kid? — Hello everyone, I'm Subha. I'll get straight to the point because this will be LONG. I've always wondered if whether my parents are narcissistic or not. And I needed your help to make me realise …
Any advice on keeping in-laws in my life? — I haven't started the big D conversation with my husband yet, and one of the main reasons is I'm terrified of losing my family in law. We moved to his hometown a few years ago to be closer to his agin…
ChatGPT has been my T lately haha, so I don't have attachment to it. And reddit and other communities are my support system I guess. I am a DA-leaning FA who has always felt a lot of self hatred and s…
What you are describing is punishment. And while it’s understandable to a degree, it can also cross into territory that is incredibly toxic. For example, one situation that caused this “escalation” w…
It's actually not uncommon for stalkers to follow their targets when they move. It's advised to stay/move near support systems. This all happened to me 20 years ago and I did 13 years of therapy, whic…
For sure you should,I think a lot of us sometimes think that co-reg,and co dependency are the same thing! My partner believes that.also she think that any family cannot be part of a support system. Sh…
You MUST build a support system. You have to. The whole point here is to get better, not perfect, but to get better you have to do it. More of a network would show you that this isn’t a doom spiral,…
>What questions do you ask yourself to talk yourself off the ledge? I think the simplest one is "Do I ACTUALLY want to do (whatever thing that is in consideration)?" Then if you DO want to do the …
Having less of a support system has probably all played in this entire cycle. I'm at that age in life where friends are moving onto other life stages (kids etc when I don't want kids), other cities, a…
Oh wow, that's a noticeable difference in both the shorter time to deactivation and the longer deactivation period. I would say that I definitely noticed a shorter time to deactivation and shorter o…
Unless it works for both people, it is not normal to want 4 days of no contact with someone you're dating. I also learned as an FA that if you don't feel worthy, no amount of contact with your partner…
There is no way to postpone the trip. It's for study abroad and I've already paid non-refundable tuition. I'm actually really excited to go and hoping that while still staying in contact with my suppo…
Hi everyone, I’m in my early 20s, and recently I went through my longest relationship so far — almost 2 years — with someone who is also my age, and has BPD. I have AuDHD on top of everything. Our rel…
Bruh. Stop throwing around "I'm gonna kill myself" just because you aren't hearing what you wanna hear. I understand the desire to be in a relationship but for the love of god, if you have literally n…
I appreciate that, nice to have encouragement!! My sister is in a fight for her life, but making some incremental progress everyday... and thankfully I do have good friends & family around me as a su…
This has been so helpful. I’m so happy and relieved to find this thread. While I hate that we’re all in the same boat, it really helps that I’m not alone and there’s a great support system here. I jus…
Great stuff here. You always post good, interesting shit on this forum. Lots of valuable insight in your post, thanks for taking the time to write it. One thing I appreciate is that you talk abou…
Can you give examples of support systems and how one would co-regulate through them?
Not that it is a requirement, but is there any chance you could work with a therapist? Preferably one who works with people on their attachment wounds. I've found it really helpful in my healing journ…
Good to hear that poly seems to have given you a good support system! Honestly, I don't argue that you should drop poly if you feel like it's good for you, however I would argue that a lot of the lon…
hi everyone, sorry for the long post - myself (26F) and my partner (26M) of 6 years have broken up less than a week ago and i've never such acute visceral pain. i'm riddled with the worst physical anx…
Text of original post by u/rainbowjungle: TW: attachment injury, trauma-bond withdrawal, panic attacks, obsessive rumination I think I’m in severe attachment-injury / trauma-bond withdrawal and I’m s…
when my ex fiance dumped me it was really sudden and out of nowhere. it was really impersonal and there was no explaination at all (plus it was the day before valentines day.... the asshole 😒) we ha…
Today is a milestone birthday for my ex. I broke up with her just over a month ago. I know how much she was not looking forward to this birthday, and how grateful she was to imagine she wouldn't be c…
>However, Day T evening he texts he's going to go "vent" to someone he had a slight romantic spark (no relationship) with in the past and is one of his strongest/closest support systems where he lives…
I was spiraling last year with a back issue that was bad enough that I needed a cane to get around and then treating migraines years before that, which was a similar hopeless process of elimination. W…
I mean as someone who was in relationship with bad abusive partners I can only blame myself. Especially I have a great support system, friends who would keep telling me to break up. But I wouldn’t coz…
Thank you for this post, I was thinking something like this before but you helped me put my thoughts together. Western culture, especially in North America, is extremely individualistic, bordering o…
Ooh good idea. Maybe I’ll get bored one day soon. The last episode I watched had a really good moment. He was having a fight with his wife because she went to vent to her therapist. And he was like …
She's started turning up to social events I've been going to for years. The climate here is bugging me too. It's been a rough winter. Also there's a better market for my job in Seattle (typic…
I find that none of my friends (or family) have a remotely similar dating situation to me, which is why I rarely talk about dating with anyone. My 2 single friends haven't dated recently and everyon…
I’ve been seeing a man significantly older than me for about a month. He started out very secure and loving, but my anxious attachment and mental health triggers caused a lot of friction. I became the…
Yes and no. I was laid off recently, dumped and moving back in with family. I have a strong support system back home so that’s a plus. I’ve been packing today to prepare and it’s just so much stuff. T…
> she has an untreated mental health disorder (refuses to consider medication for her own reasons), big executive dysfunction (we both have AuDHD), is struggling to find more work as a yoga teacher wh…
I think that anxiety is perfectly normal. I have this debate often (currently 35F and very very single). I think it’s one many of us internally struggle with. My parents are in their 70s and I feel aw…
All I can say is I'm sorry. Sometimes we do everything "right" and still don't end up where we planned. Life is unpredictable and absurd that way. Do you have a support system away from this guy? He i…
Worked out great for me. The ex is a legitimately ill person who keeps us in court every month and the hook is a child she has exercised zero visitation with, who acts out terribly from trauma she cau…
You aren’t doomed. It’s hard to figure out dating after 20 years of a relationship. I would find people that are in the same stage as you and find a support system alongside dating tho
I’m three months PP and will say you definitely notice who shows up for you in such a meaningful time in your life. Really with any big change (marriage, losing a parent, etc) you’re hyper aware of wh…
I’m just left here wondering what to do with myself. We talked and texted constantly. I have a support system but it’s not the same, he’s the one i really feel like I need.
You’re both freshly in college, live in the same apartment complex, and see each other every.single.day. You admit that you arranged things this way so you could lean on her. She has work and class …
I can so relate. Divorce, whether justified or not, has been the single most jarring thing that has ever happens to me, by far. I’ve come a long way, and still have a long way to go. There were day…
Man, consider yourself lucky that she showed who she was this early and you were able to draw your conclusions. I’ve suffered emotional abuse for many years. Besides the screaming and the insults she…
It's heartbreaking, I've been there too, and I don't have a support system of close friends or family because I immigrated. A key thing for me was to build a self-care toolkit. This was mentally in …
47m here, and I spent most of the last 30 years in a dissociated state, living in my mind or in books. I only paid enough attention to the outside world to make sure that my brain's life support syste…
I wish I had an answer for u my brother but I'm 3months into my separation & yes the quiet house is the worst. I spent Xmas alone, I spent new yrs alone & Valentine's Day was our anniversary & u guess…
I would have been a mess. You are very strong and have a strong support system. My nMIL took pictures of me at my worst right after my daughter was born. I mean really… she didn’t show them to me but …
Hello, im an artist. I have been doing odd jobs, nude modelong and building a side curriculum the past year as an art teacher to support my art. My recent ex, the break up that made me realize i am c…
Well... I do this that I am succeptible to cluster B personality types... I believe my mother is a undiagnosed cluster B and that is why I have a blind spot to cluster B personalities. I'm also a la…
Society IMO has failed when quotes like "no one is coming to save you" are common yet in the same breath they advise support systems.
Yeah, everyone's saying "have a good support system". Problem is literally no one wants to be part of that support system.
“what you need a support system outside of one hour a week of therapy?? no such thing. i can’t be what you need right now” and what your asking for is basic human decency and a friend